


The Deepest Shades of You

by superfrito



Category: TWICE (Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 90,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfrito/pseuds/superfrito
Summary: Minatozaki Sana is a successful actress who has everything going her way. A great a career, adoring fans, and almost unlimited number of men at her feet. But there’s one problem: She’s gay. And in a world that judges you for your sexuality than talent, she resorts to taking on the role of a lesbian lover to Kim Dahyun in the movie called The Deepest Shades of You.How will she succeed on keeping her preferences under wraps when her charming co-star mixes work and pleasure to the point where they don’t know what’s acting and what’s not?





	1. Part I: The Parabolic Trajectory of An Arrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flying straight as an arrow is a such a wrong cliche, and it comes in the clutch appearance of a co-star.

**The Parabolic Trajectory of an Arrow**

Part I

* * *

 

“Jeongyeon.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why are you not nice? You’re supposed to be nice.”

 

“I’m a manager. I’m not supposed to be nice.”

 

“You’re like a bad devil manager.”

 

“Devils are meant to be bad, so.”

 

“No, like a really bad one. You’ll have a face of a balding rat. With frog warts.”

 

“Wow. What are you? Like six years old —”

 

“You eat kittens for breakfast, and you bathe in puppy blood to hide your rat face. After you skin them.”

 

“Now you’re just being shitty.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“Sana, stop.”

 

“Bathing in blood of puppies? Destroying their puppy dreams? You killed a puppy who might have the cure for cancer, or the next DiCaprio.”

 

“Just get the fuck out there. The sooner we finish this, the sooner we get this off our backs.”

 

“You’re gonna regret this.”

 

“I’ve regretted being your manager since day one.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Fuck you, too. But I also believe in you. Go out there and give them a star.”

 

“With everything bad that will happen to you, you will remember this moment. This is me cursing you, by the way.” Sana finally complies between gritted teeth.

 

The crowd jeers and the crowd roars. On the stage, Sana wraps an arm around her co-actor’s arm who also served as her leading man in a recent movie that became a hit. It told a story of two highschool sweethearts who had a coming of age story then reuniting again after all these years where they grew apart.

 

Coincidentally, it sounded like any other silver screen love story that the teenagers would come to love. They’d tell their friends about it, and they’d construct their fantasies around it, and finally, it culminates into heartbreak because they made the wise decision of making TV and cinema as the role model of their lives. Not a pretty good idea considering that literally almost everything that you see on screen are fabricated (Yes, even the animal documentaries that people watch nowadays are scripted. Does anyone really think that baby turtles almost always “narrowly” escape danger? The babies are doing it for the ratings.) And if we have learned anything from reality shows, it’s the fact that it’s difficult to keep up with the Kardashians, and everything that’s fabricated is bound to fail at some point.

 

Same goes with Sana’s career. Not because she grams everything and anything then rants to Kanye about it. But it’s because of something else less mundane.

 

The lights, the stage, the curtain calls, and the big parades. These are all inviting if only she’s not being partnered with actors who have brains and talent that are about a notch lower than a bucket of apples. They are only considered good because they look insanely good. Then, it’s plus five points to the God of Bad Luck if any of them tries to get her to bed (operative word: try. Usually it all ends in tears for them.). The tally so far is 25 points to nil, and if no one hasn’t figured it out yet, Sana is the nil.

 

It was quite expected for a Minatozaki Sana to be this successful. A BS Physics (BS does not mean bullshit) graduate with god damn looks to back it up. She first came out as a child star in a commercial of Mitsubishi. Then she placed herself in a hiatus to finish college. Then was continuously casted until she got her break from the movie Trouble of One Thousand Ways, which is much like the movie My Sassy Girl in its cultural following. Then, the drama movie The House That Fire Built came out and was sent to Europe to fight for Cannes. No one really expected her to pull off an eight-minute crying scene that was taken in one long-shot, but she did it in ten.

 

All of these combined, she basically is an Asian sweetheart made up of looks, talent, and a whole ocean of charm. She might as well be named the president of the great amount of young audiences in both Korea and Japan.

 

But there is one problem: Sana is the pretty girl, with her pretty laughs, and peerless wit. She’s the role model of the young female adults who imitate the way she dress and the way she speaks. Young girls wanna be like her and young boys wanna be with her.

 

And just like any other ‘pretty girl’, her only role is to be the pretty girl. No other expectations. No other path. No other role.

 

Sana hated it so much because when you are a gay girl who gets forced into a mold that you don’t really want to portray on the daily, it awakens a sense of rebellion.

 

“Don’t make me do that again.” she crawls inside her Grand Starex, passing by Jeongyeon without even sparing her a glance. “I chose you as my manager for a reason, and that reason is not for me to get into these stupid events and play as the arm candy.”

 

“It was the last one that I booked for you, okay? Sana, it’s not like I have a say in all of these. I have to balance your preferences with their demands. It’s much like forcing my mom and dad to agree on anything. And that’s saying a lot given that the only thing they ever agreed on is that I should’ve been born as a boy.”

 

“They’re not entirely wrong.” Sana drops down on the last seat at the back of the vehicle. “With a douchery like that, you’d pass as a person with a pair of hairy balls as a head.”

 

“You are not nice today, Minatozaki.” Jeongyeon climbs over the backrest of her chair. She stared at Sana like a kicked puppy, and for a good reason. It’s not really easy protecting her friend (and client) and filter off promotion requests from the management, but she has a job to do, and it’s to keep Sana alive. “I’m sorry, okay?”

 

Sana sighs. Suddenly she feels kind of awful spitting these words on Jeongyeon. It almost felt like punching a kid in the groin just because she failed to defend herself from playground bullies.

 

“Jeongie.” her shoulders sink giving her presence an air of guilt. This is the part where they both forgive each other, and coincidentally, it’s also almost time for dinner. “I’m sorry.”

 

If there’s something Sana is really good at, it’s baiting Jeongyeon.

 

“I’m sorry too.”

 

“Sushi and crabs sounds good tonight. Just you and me. What do you say?” Slowly but surely, a smile begins to creep up from Jeongyeon’s lips, but it quickly turns sour when Sana reaches for her hand, holds it tightly, and with her eyes looking into hers, Sana whispers. “And you’re buying.”

 

No one should get her wrong, though. Sana meant her apology, and the demand that Jeongyeon pay for dinner.

 

\---

 

“The zeroth rule is simple. It’s as simple as one plus one.”

 

One the other line of her video call, Sana’s brother just scratches his head as if he could peel off the skin and let Sana’s words seep in via osmosis. The scientific evidence is still highly disputable, but somehow, there are a lot of students who believed in this method of knowledge transfer. Sometimes, her brother would sleep with the physics book under his pillow, and as expected (even if one has flunked physics for the third time), he only wakes up with a stiff neck and not an inkling of an idea on what the four laws of thermodynamics are about.

 

“If A is B and B is C, then - is A equal to C?”

 

“What?”

 

“Holy shit, I just literally said that Apple 1 is Apple 2 and Apple 2 is Apple 3, then Apple 1 is also Apple 3.”

 

“Apple tree?”

 

Sana drops all her facial expressions and stared at him blankly. When someone says that an apple is an apple so the apple is also an apple and the other person’s face only had a question mark on it (most especially if it’s her brother), it tends to bring out a sense of violence that’s only usually reserved for dumb men who says ‘chill out’ when your entire womb is collapsing on a monthly basis.

 

“I will literally fold you into four, squeeze you into a ball, and shove you back up into mom’s vagina.”

 

“See, mom! This is why I don’t like her teaching me anything!”

 

“Well, if you used your real head more than your other head, this wouldn’t be a problem now, is it? You can have three girlfriends and still don’t have a future, boy. Get your shit together. And stop spending money on your girls! You’re unemployed!”

 

With that, her brother stormed off, taking his books with him, probably to get ready for another osmosis session. Sana just shakes her head. Her mom gives her a disapproving look.

 

“What?” Sana sighs. “I can’t have him ending up with only a dick in his hand.”

 

“You can’t really say he’s not trying, though. Also, can you mind your language? Never imagined you kissing me with that mouth, miss.”

 

“Mom, if he tries hard enough, he could be anyone or anything that he wants to be. He can’t end up like me, hiding behind the lines just to give the public what they want.” Sana drops down over her awfully large couch (Jeongyeon has always told her that it was a bed but Sana never really believed her.) and points the remote to open her also awfully large TV.

 

“Then quit acting. Be a scientist. What’s so wrong with that?”

 

“I don’t know, mom. I really love acting.” Sana began aimlessly switching channels. “I’m not saying that my degree is any lesser. Or maybe I could do both?” her mumbling sounded so unsure and any mom could tell the difference like it was night and day.

 

“Sana.” her mom says her name in a rising tone and Sana gives her an audible sigh because that kind of tone is only used when mom’s are about to lay some gospel. Afterall, what’s a mom if not a source of infinite wisdom and nagging.

 

“No one can last in anything that does not allow them to be who they are meant to be. When you came out to us, it was only the day that we realized what unconditional love meant, and it was so beautiful that you taught it to us. You’re gay and we love you, so to whether you’d decide to be a scientist or an actor, it’s entirely up to you because we’d love you still. Just don’t take too long to decide.”

 

Infinite source of wisdom, and nagging. But also of so much love. Sana is thankful that even if the industry is not giving her enough space to express herself, she could always count on her family for support.

 

“I love you, mom,”

 

“And we love you, too. Okay? Be safe now. I’m taking your brother to cram school. Make sure to eat.” her mother reminds.

 

“Alright, alright.”

 

“Tell Jeongyeon she’s doing a great job on keeping you in line.”

 

“Eww, no!”

 

“Bye, honey! Make good choices!” her mom replies before she could even relent further.

 

“Bye! Love ya!”

 

The video call ends and Sana tosses her phone on the spot beside her, leaving her once more to the comfort of loneliness. Being alone has its disadvantages, and one if them is making introspection your second nature. It’s like Pavlov’s dog when it hears a bell, or someone’s growing affinity to introversion when they age. So it didn’t take long before questions started pouring in, like will she ever have the chance to come out to the public and get someone to date her? The New Zealander Jennie is really a top choice, or maybe Kim Yeri since it’s an open secret that she’s gay (Okay, maybe not open-open, but everybody knows she’s dating Kim Saeron).

 

Then, the questions branch out to the theories of chaos. She’d often ask, what are the chances of my career being ruined if, let’s say, I date that girl on TV right now? Hazel hair, cute eye smile, and skin as white as snow. The commercial is showing this girl driving a really expensive car and having a cute road trip with friends. By the looks of it, she’s straight. Or as Sana puts it: as straight as an arrow. But in the slimmest chance that she’d give Sana a go, what are the odds of them being shunned and ostracized in a highly conservative society? Sana learned how to do quick math before she even got to second grade, and her quick math suggests that the probability of them meeting a fiery crash is at about one over seven. That’s fourteen percent. A really fiery plane crash stands at one over a million. A chance of stepping on poo in any given day is at one over a hundred seventy three. Rescuing Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect from open space is at the probability of two to the power of 276,709 to one against.

 

And here comes the fourteen percent. That’s not even taking into account heavy traffic in the peak hours of the Gangnam loop, the current humidity, and the chance of rain.

 

But through all of these, she’s still quite determined that there are other things that could be more probable than the self destruction of her well placed career. One is getting fucked up by a Draw Four when she’s at the verge of winning Uno or Jeongyeon randomly calling her on —

 

_BZZZZT._

 

Her phone blows up, revealing Jeongyeon’s derp face on the screen. It was also a rude moment where she was reminded to change everyone’s ringtone from Likey to anything else.

 

“‘Sup, yo.”

 

“S’down, yo!”

 

“No. Really, what’s up?”

 

“Sana.” Jeongyeon says her name in a rising tone, and contrary to her mom, her manager only uses this tone when she has agreed to an idea and never told Sana (The first time this happened, Jeongyeon signed Sana up for a variety show that made her try extreme rides. The slingshot ride almost ended their friendship).

 

“Not again, Jeong. I’m hanging up.”

 

“Trust me! You’ll love this! Meet me tonight?”

 

“This better be not another slingshot ride!”

 

\---

 

Last night, a time that obviously happened before the night Jeongyeon and Sana met, a figure pushes a thick stack of neatly bound pages across the table.

 

“Thank you for meeting up with me, Miss Yoo.” a raven haired girl reached out her hand across the table and smiled.

 

“Just Jeongyeon, please.” is something that Jeongyeon would say to anyone who attracts her attention, so she goes on and says the line.

 

“Just Jeongyeon?” the other girl shakes her hand, “Just is a rather interesting name.”

 

“No, no, no! Oh, uhh. I mean. You can call me Jeongyoo.” that’s wrong.

“Err, Jeongyeon.” No, too formal. Actually, this is what she said, but her mouth continued.

 

“I mean, Jeongie.” now, she just fumbled all three.

 

Growing up, Jeongyeon only has two names. That’s Jeongyeon and, if her parents are in the mood to treat her like a girl, it’s Jeongie. But she never had three names which she delivered quite pathetically. It was such a waste because she has always started her charming conversations with “Just Jeongyeon.” The conversation starter serves as a signal that this girl doesn’t need to be too formal around her because, statistically, formal meetings never end in bed. Unless it’s called sleeping and that is if you have work tomorrow. And since Manager Yoo messed up the entire charade, she would need to continue with this meeting knowing that this will not end the way she thinks it would. She might have to return the candles to the store tomorrow, along with the wine.

 

“Nice to meet you, Jeongyoo, Jeongyeon, Jeongie.” she smiles brightly, and at that moment, the manager internally curses herself for messing up. “Myoui Mina, producer.”

 

“So, what do we have here, Miss Myoui?” she takes the bound papers and flipped through the pages. Apparently, she’s holding a script for a movie with a working title -

 

“The Deepest Shades of You?”

 

“Yes. A friend of mine wrote it along with three other scripts.” Mina presses her finger on one of the pages of the script. “This is one of her best works and we really think that selling this film can help us release the other two.”

 

“Not to be rude, Miss Myoui, but — ”

 

“All the other filmmakers would have said what I just said?” she folds her arms and slowly slouched back down her seat.

 

“Right.” Jeongyeon rested her chin over her balled fist, anticipating the other girl to elaborate.

 

“This..” the other began with a noticeable pause after, as if she’s trying to recollect what she knew and frame it into better words. “This is not an ordinary film, Jeongyeon. This defies the societal standards of sexuality and portrays it in a powerful position. There are bigger things that rely on this film, so were not opting for mainstream baby dolls who’d choose safer roles for easier cash. We saw Minatozaki Sana in The House That Fire Built. No one knew what it was until it scored Cannes and was hyped back here and in Japan. She made that indie film into something else. That’s the kind of person we need.”

 

She unfolds an arm and points to the script briefly, “Believe me. If she pulls this off, this movie will break out from Korea before we could even get it released on homeland mainstream.”

 

Sana loves working in indie. It has a lot of flexibility and artistic license that big ticket productions don’t normally provide. It’s not that Sana hated mainstream all together, it’s just that these movies are often designed to please the people.

 

Jeongyeon has considered this, and if she could get Sana on board, it will be easy to convince the agency. She just needs the bait, and Mina hasn’t mentioned anything about the co-stars yet.

 

“Who is she working with?” she flips a page but doesn’t really read what’s on it.

 

“None yet.” Mina answers quickly. “Is Sana picky with co-stars?”

 

“Everyone is picky with who they work with.”

 

“So I guess I’m lucky that you even considered meeting me?” Mina raises a brow to challenge Jeongyeon.

 

The manager stops flipping the pages midway and turns her gaze up to the producer. It’s a tussle trap. She might have messed up her introductions, but she will not mess up the entire thing. If only she could get a bait, this encounter would be close to perfect.

 

“You mentioned something about sexuality?” she releases the page and flips another.

 

“Hm.” Mina’s reaction comes in a hum. Although, she’s quite impressed that Jeongyeon caught that remark, “This is a lesbian movie.”

 

“Right.” Jeongyeon says with a remarkable hanging tone as if being led to a eureka.

 

“Our writer is very keen on cast selection and we would very much like for you to consider the risks that come with it.”

 

It was now Jeongyeon’s turn to slouch back and fold her arms. Mina would be lying if she says that she wasn’t even a bit nervous when the manager shuts her eyes, furrows her brows, and inhales a bothering amount of air. If there’s such thing as a deepest breath, this might be it.

 

“So basically, it’s a lesbian indie movie.” Jeongyeon pinches her nose bridge. It was different on her side of the table. Her brain is racing, her heart is pounding, and her feet seemed to stomp about on its own. She’s about to offer Sana her role of a lifetime. If she can’t make her friend come out, then she’ll make her come out anyways. Under the guise of a movie role and with the help of (she crosses her fingers) a co-star.

 

“This is a tall order.” she sighs.

 

Mina’s shoulder sinks and Jeongyeon internally smirks in satisfaction. And now, if she plays her cards right, she might actually pull off a Hail Mary and play hero.

 

“But, I can definitely talk to Sana about this.” Jeongyeon nodded as if she has already convinced Sana herself.

 

“Really, Jeongyeon?” Mina looked at her with eager eyes, furrowed brows, and locked fingers. It bothered the manager that  she’s finding it hard to say no.

 

“Yeah.” she closes the script immediately and decided that the meeting should end now. Before she says ‘yes’ to anything that Mina could possibly request. It’s too late to invite her to bed anyway.

 

So she packs the script and grabs her keys, then Mina stood up with her.

 

“I’ll update you right away, Miss Myoui. I just need Sana to see the script and I’ll take things from there on. I think this is a good time to exchange numbers?” Jeongyeon hands out her phone, and Mina dialled her number in. When the transaction ended, the manager pushes out the cafe doors but the producer was quick to grab her attention one last time.

 

“And Jeongyeon?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It’s just Mina.” she smiles, and Jeongyeon wished she hadn’t stared for too long.

 

Statistically, maybe Jeongyeon can keep the candles and the wine after all. Just in case.

 

\---

 

This night, obviously the time where Jeongyeon and Sana met, the actress flips the last page of the script and tosses it down on the coffee table. It made a rather loud thud that echoed between Sana’s quiet thoughts.

 

“Alright Jeongyoo-Jeongyeon-Jeongie.” Sana nods seriously.

 

“Oh, shut up!” a popcorn flies out and bounces off Sana’s forehead.

 

“I’m thinking.” Sana’s eyes squint as the tip of her tongue pokes out from the corner of her lips. A habit that she never really learned to outgrow.

 

“Of what?”

 

“How the hell did you manage to get your name wrong three times in one go? That’s actually pretty amazing.”

 

“You little bitch.” Jeongyeon quickly grabs a throw pillow and lunges towards Sana. The actress was quick to put her hands out to defend her face as her manager pathetically tried to land as much hits as she can.

 

“As I told you, Manager Yoo,” Sana holds her head back to dodge another pathetic hit. “For every bad thing that will happen to you, you will remember the moment I put a curse on you.”

 

Jeongyeon’s world stops for a while as memories in the car flooded her thoughts. It didn’t help that she was superstitious, and it also didn’t help that an ominous soundtrack was playing in her head. Like the Jaws soundtrack whenever there’s a first person underwater shot barreling towards an unsuspecting victim. Or Hitchcock’s Psycho as the camera prepares to rip the shower curtains. Or the sound of her mom’s car pulling over the garage when Jeongyeon remembered that she hasn’t washed the dishes yet.

 

Sana narrows her eyes and Jeongyeon finds her little smirk rather annoying.

 

“Redemption, bitch. Also, let’s do this.”

 

“Wait, what?” she stops her smacking altogether.

 

“Message your producer chick now. We’re doing this project. Schedule everything that we need to do. I’ll handle the agency.”

 

\---

 

 **[Yoo Jeongyeon]:** We’re in.

 

 **[You]:** Oh my god! Really?

 

 **[Yoo Jeongyeon]:** Can we set a meeting soon?

 

 **[You]** : Of course! Do you have any specific dates on mind?

 

_Yoo Jeongyeon changed your name to Just Mina_

 

 **[Yoo Jeongyeon]:** Does Thursday sound good?

 

_You changed Yoo Jeongyeon’s name to JeongyooJeongyeonJeongie_

 

 **[Just Mina]:** Yes! Let me send the meeting details.

 

[TDSY]Project_Overview.pptx

 

 **[JeongyooJeongyeonJeongie]:** Thank you! We’ll review the overview then we can finalize the terms. We’ll see you.

 

\---

 

“Oooh, I have a crush on you. Maybe I’ll change your nickname for lowkey flirting.”

 

A smack.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Shut it or I’m going to offer your first born to Satan.”

 

\---

 

Their work starts on a Wednesday, which is not like normal human beings. There’s a reason why everyone hates Mondays and Jeongyeon and Mina are putting an affront to the natural laws of the world. It wasn’t their fault, actually. It was Sana’s, because she hated waking up early on a Monday. Now, Tuesday would’ve been a great choice but Jeongyeon said it was bad luck (She stopped going to the gym for the last few months and she says it was because she registered on a Tuesday. Sana thinks she’s just lazy.) and so, they find themselves on the airport expressway on a Wednesday, exactly 9:07 AM.

 

Sana flips through another page of the script. She has been reading and re-reading the entire thing whenever time permits and it’s safe to say that she has a good grasp of her character already -  because she as been rehearsing with herself every weekend.

 

One thing worried her about the script, though. Which lead her to the question.

 

“Who are we working with again?” she flips another page.

 

A seat ahead of her, on the captain’s chair, Jeongyeon turned her head halfway but her eyes and thumbs were still at her phone.

 

“Kim Dahyun.” she answers.

 

“Kim Dahyun.” Sana mumbles to herself, trying to figure out where she heard that name before. She’s not actually hard to miss since she’s the small screen princess. One of her dramas was remade in another country to fit their cultures, and another one was chopped into parodies of local weekend gag shows, and the people always get the reference. She always took the role of the bubbly girl heroine who gets to tame down the rigid and sophisticated leading man who ends up falling in love with her, even if the competing girl is Chou Tzuyu (which is quite a looker, by the way).

 

It’s not that Dahyun is less prettier. It’s more of her charm. You know how you get to judge people’s faces and immediately tell who you could trust your dog with and who not to trust your boy/girl with? Or who’s more likely to share their lunch with someone, and who’s more likely to vandalize the comfort room with your poorly drawn portrait and a dick in your mouth? It would have your name on top because the portrait doesn’t look anything like you.

 

And that’s how it is with Dahyun and her image.

 

Although, Sana knew she saw Dahyun somewhere else other than dramas. One is through a news site saying that she’s working on into changing her image by taking on much more riskier and mature roles which was actually shown in the recent ad campaigns of the BMW H5 series sedan. The commercial had two versions: First was Dahyun having a road trip with friends around Seoul (which somehow reminded Sana of the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics), and the other one shows Dahyun in a silk sleep dress that only goes down to half of her milky thighs. The car would speed up in between shots, then reveals Dahyun in a tight black dress. She steps out of the car and into the red carpet (Sana can’t remember anything beyond this because she can’t even think). It’s the same car, but with two different target markets.

 

“The BMW girl with the signature ‘pam pam’ wink?” (In real life, BMW uses their trademark double gong sound in almost all of their commercials)

 

“Yep.” Jeongyeon swiped about on her phone.

 

“Cute girl with a cute smile and happy friends?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And the same girl with a sexy smirk..”

 

“Yep.”

 

“.. and a cute ass?”

 

Jeongyeon answered without even letting Sana finish her sentence. So by the time she got to the end, the manager snaps her head towards the actress at the back. Her brows are furrowed as if Sana said something really ridiculous. “Okay, wait! What?”

 

“What?” Sana shrugs as if she didn’t say anything really ridiculous.

 

“She has a cute ass or she’s a cute ass girl? I think I’m getting it all mixed up. Like, is she cute or her ass is cute? I don’t know, man. You gotta help me out here.”

 

“Just like what the Spanish voyager Miguel says in 1519: Both. Both is good.” Sana makes a gun finger towards Jeongyeon, quite proud of her reference to a historical person, who was coincidentally used in a 2000 animated American film (also suspiciously set in 1519).

 

“She didn’t even wear lingerie in that commercial.”

 

“Or did she?” Sana leans forward a bit. “If only you find it in yourself to trust your gay eyes, Jeongyeon. You will not be blind from the world and its majestic wonders.”

 

“Why do you need to put on your gay goggles on anything and everything? And I assume that you are asking this for the sake of greater science?”

 

“Yes. All for the sake of Greater Science.” Sana sinks back to her chair and flips through the script once more. The pages are a bit folded on the corners now and some are a bit less crispier than the others. Some of the pages were also distinctly folded in half, and Sana stopped on one of these half folded pages. “The science of torrid kissing. Look here.” she lunges forward and shows her manager a specific line where her finger has landed.

 

“What about that?”

 

“You think she could do this? With me?”

 

“That’s not for me to judge, Sana. Apparently, I just knew from last week that she said yes before we can even say we’re in.”

 

“Does she not strike you as a straight girl? Her dramas are a dead give away that she’s flying straight as an arrow. I’m not about to mess this scene up, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

 

“Huh.” Jeongyeon’s reaction was empty. A sign that she was dropped into a moment of thought. She never really knew what Dahyun is like besides the fact that she’s a marketable artist. There weren’t any rumors going around about her preferences, but there weren’t any news of guys that are dating her either.

 

Her brows furrowed and she thought some more. But what she never thought of is this:

 

 

> **Hypothesis** : Arrows fly straight.
> 
> **Inference** : Arrows _DO NOT_ fly straight.
> 
>  
> 
> _Where as_ . An arrow experiences two opposing forces along its length. A fake resting force (Ffake) pushes from the arrow head down to the fletch, bending the arrow mid air as the true string force (Fstring) pushes from the fletch up to the arrow head. This results into a series of slight bending (or wobbling) which proves that arrows do not fly straight.
> 
> _Where as_ . An arrow is tilted to an angle to receive maximum range, and even if it was aimed straight (with respect to the vertical), an arrow slowly falls off in a rate of 9 meters per second squared (due to gravity, and disregarding air resistance). Its flight slightly bends down into a parabolic trajectory that eventually leads the arrow to the ground. This proves that an arrow doesn’t fly straight with respect to the vertical.
> 
> _Where as_ . An arrow that flies becomes a free travelling object in space. As the earth rotates, the arrow is slightly deflected to the left or right, depending on which hemisphere the arrow was shot. We call this as the Coriolis Effect. This proves that an arrow doesn’t fly straight with respect to the horizontal.

 

Now, the physics might not be exact, and most of it are argumentative. But one thing’s for sure: Someone is about to be proven wrong.

 

\---

 

It was just an hour before lunch when Sana and her small entourage arrived in Daejang-do. It's a volcano island just west of its more popular brother: Jeju.

 

Besides their location, there's not much difference between the two islands. It also has its own city sandwiched between the mountainous volcano crater and the vast ocean that turns into purples every afternoon. The quaint charm of the city is most remarkably punctuated by old buildings that were retained and refurbished. They were repurposed buildings that accomodate contemporary functions while still looking like pre-Korean War. There was an absence of really tall buildings (Sana thinks that the highest building she saw so far has twelve floors) and most of the stores are downtown.

 

Quite surprisingly, they zipped past through the urban center until the roadside became either forests or fields, but most often: the sea. Half an hour into the journey, they went deeper inland over an earthen road until they reached the end where several properties congregate.

 

Their big van parks into a compound containing eight identical contemporary houses. It was arranged in a way that the two houses at the back were a bit isolated from the other six. One of the two was assigned to Sana.

 

The accommodation is good. It’s spacious, with the queen sized bed close to the window (which also served as a balcony). The covers are plainly colored duvets of dark blue and white with creases caused only by how fluffy they are.

 

It’s not at all bad for a two month stay, Sana thought. She has been to worse places, like the one in Hong Kong where her next door neighbor thinks that carpentry is best done at two in the morning. Or the hotel she stayed in at LA where there’s no such thing as a hot shower.

 

It was, actually, the first thing she checked when she finally exited the toilet. At least the hot shower is working here. Then she proceeds to empty the contents of her bags while, in one of the houses that was grouped with the six others, Jeongyeon started to download helpful maps of the city.

 

On the other isolated house right across Sana’s, a girl in loose striped button-downs ties her hazel hair up in a ponytail. It exposed her pale nape as it slightly lifted her shirt, unveiling her rather tight khaki shorts.

 

“Cute ass.” Sana nodded as she folded a shirt.

 

Then the girl turned slightly to her right, giving a glimpse of who she is.

 

“That explains the butt.” she brushes her black locks back. “Why, hello there, Kim Dahyun.”

 

\---

 

“Is she here?” In the opposite house, Dahyun ties up her hair.

 

“Her entourage just arrived. She’s settling the house opposite yours.” Dahyun’s manager clarified. “Look, Dahyun. I know what you’re trying to do in here but at least be careful around her. I’ve heard rumors, okay?”

 

“About what?” the actress started to pack up the things that were neatly arranged on her bed: a phone, a wallet,  a script, and some other personal things.

 

“She’s not who she shows on TV.”

 

“Does anyone?” Dahyun slung her backpack over her shoulder and smirked. “Don’t worry. I might have heard what you have heard about her. It’s a small world, hers and mine. And now, we get to work with each other.” Dahyun beams at the thought of it, and her manager quickly gets on her signals.

 

“You’re excited. It’s not usually a good thing.” her manager sighs.

 

“Isn’t that a good thing for you? You won’t have to drag my crying ass out of bed because I have to work on something that I’m not excited about.” she walks towards the door, quite convinced that she really has a good feeling about this. “Script reading in ten minutes, are you not coming with?”

 

\---

 

The script reading went incredibly well, thanks to Dahyun and Sana who stayed true to their scholastic habits of diligently finishing their homeworks before dinner. It turns out that both of them had been practicing the lines ever since they got their own copies, and it became rather evident when their in-movie conversations became all too realistic.

 

Jeongyeon nodded in satisfaction while Mina and her production crew quietly celebrated the fact that they will not be fucking this movie up. There were collective applause and generous excited conversations, but one person’s validation made the difference between killing or moving forward with the movie. She was seated on the corner that provided the best vantage point for watching the whole set up of the script reading. Mina was sitting beside her, together with Choi Sooyoung, the director famous for the cult classic ‘6:10 to Incheon’ (2014), and ‘Maybe, Tomorrow’ (2015). She leans closer to the writer every now and then as she seem to acknowledge any specific instructions that were given. At least this is what Sana noticed.

 

The writer’s name is Im Yoona. She isn’t relatively known to Sana but it was interesting to note that she had access to the who’s who of the Korean indie film scene. Im Jinah is also here, arms folded and talking in hushed tones with the director. She’s a maverick music composer responsible for the music scores for ‘Clover Park’ (2011), and ‘The Longest Autumn’ (2013). Kim Jongdae, vocalist of the famous band Tennis the Menace, was standing beside her. Sana was informed that his band will be making the movie’s theme song. And finally, there’s the hazel haired girl in striped loose button downs and a pair of khaki shorts. Kim Dahyun might be a young star but she certainly isn’t a B-list celebrity.

 

“Jeong.” Sana turns her back on the forming caucus and whispered to her manager.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“A splendid set of people here right now, don’t you think? Too splendid.”

 

“Mhmm.” Jeongyeon affirms with an uninterested nod. Obviously, she is distracted by something, or someone else. “Good job on the read through, by the way.”

 

Sana gets this and she just shakes her head at her manager’s priorities. Then, before she could answer, a voice came in from behind.

 

“Yes. Great job on the read through, Miss Minatozaki.”

 

Jeongyeon suddenly pulls the hems of her shirt lightly to straighten herself up. It was a behavior that was usually followed by Sana’s question of _: She’s behind me, isn’t she?_

 

So Sana turns and sees the writer and the director in front of her.

 

“Oh, thank you so much.” she bows like a school kid meeting a teacher for the first time. She even fails to close her script book properly.

 

“No, I really should be the one thanking you. For taking this project. Your participation means a lot to us. As you may have realized in the script, a mediocre actress cannot pull this off. After all, you are the star that made The House That Fire Built famous.”

 

“Thank you.” Sana can’t tell why she’s shy all of a sudden. “I thought my mom only says that.”

 

“Oh, shush.” the writer waves her hand over her mouth. “We trust that you and Dahyun will put on a great show. So, as early as now, I would like to tell you how much I appreciate this.”

 

“We’re glad to have been chosen, Miss Im.”

 

“Well, since we’re all be working together for a while, I have prepared something for all of us tonight. I hope you like drinking?”

 

“If it’s just water, I’m not interested.” Sana finds it in herself to get back to her humorous bearings.

 

“That’s good news, then. We’ll be serving dinner soon so I hope you’re not too hungry yet.” Yoona winks at her and it makes Sana a bit more comfortable to ease up. “We’ll message Manager Jeong the details so you guys can get some rest. See you tonight?”

 

“You betcha, Miss Im.” she bows politely still as she watched the writer and the director enter the house. When her gaze retreated back, she caught a quick glimpse of Dahyun who was talking to her manager as well. Her eyes lingered for a while, watching her nod, or how her eyes squint whenever she leans in forward to listen for feedback, instructions, or both.

She’s tedious and professional, Sana had to give her that. And to whether or not it added to Dahyun’s charm, she’d definitely say that it did.

 

She proved to be more than a pretty girl with a pretty smile, and a pair of pretty eyes that was staring right back at her.

 

Wait.

 

Dahyun smiles sweetly and bows lightly, waiting for Sana to return the warmest greeting that she has ever seen in her life. Then it’s her heart’s turn to skip a beat and drum faster, making her bow half assed and a bit pathetic in its shyness.

 

Dahyun laughs at this before returning her attention to her manager.

 

Now, Sana can’t help but wish Dahyun flies as straight as she does. Which, in the most recent scientific research, is obviously not straight.

 

\---

 

The whole group found themselves sitting around a large table that evening, listening to a story of how Nana managed to climb up to the third floor of her dorm using only blankets tied up and her half drunk wits. Everyone was laughing, including Dahyun, with a daintily balled fist covering her sweet lips, and her eyes squinting into upside down crescents.

 

Now, there are other lookers on this table like the writer, or the director, or the music director, (maybe the producer that Jeongyeon’s crushing on but that’s none of her business) but none of them came close to how Dahyun looked tonight in her oversized pink hoodie, her messy bun, and her high pitched laughter.

 

Stealing glances is a hard game. More so when Sana feels like people are watching to whatever she’s doing. Or maybe it was just her and her gay paranoia, or at least that’s what she thought when Yoona suddenly speaks up.

 

“But one thing I found interesting tonight?” she turns to Sana with a look that seem to say that she knew what Sana was up to.  

 

“Holy shit.” Sana whispers in Japanese, which made Mina snap her gaze back to the actress.

 

“Is how we ended up with a talented actress who’s also a physics graduate.” Yoona raised her bottle of beer, and now Sana felt everyone’s eyes were suddenly searing through her skin. There was a sudden urge to gulp up whatever beer is in her mouth before she nods and smiles shyly. “I mean, you _are_ a physics graduate, right?”

 

“To be fair, that was actually my mom trapping me into getting into quote-unquote, the mad scientist major.” Sana said with air quotations, quite satisfied that Dahyun laughed along with her banter. “Don’t worry, I’m much surprised as anyone else here. Physics for a girl like me, right?”

 

“No, not really.” a voice cuts out from the laughter. It wasn’t the intrusive kind. Much more like a comment that you’d welcome warmly in a conversation. “But I’m pretty curious as well on how you ended up there and here.” Dahyun continues.

 

Yoona nods at Dahyun’s participation. Not Sana, though. Because now she’s much obligated to carry on with the conversation.

 

“Well,” she kicks at Jeongyeon’s feet when she caught her subtly making faces. “I wasn’t really sure on what I wanted to be when I grow up except for being an astronaut. It’s kind of stupid but a girl can dream, right?” Sana laughs with the crowd. “Then I got casted into commercials and acted around for a bit before my college life got a bit harder. In one of these short films, we had to imitate Chungking Express by Wong Kar Wai and so I had to watch it as a resource material. Needless to say, at the end of the day, I was like holy shit I wanna act. I wanna be in a movie like that so I took on The House That Fire Built and now this one, The Deepest Shades of You.”

 

“Ever thought about pursuing that career in science?” Yoona took a swig, then Sooyoung had to hold her wrist lightly to stop her from drinking more. “I’m fine, Sooyoung.” then she fixes her attention back to Sana.

 

“Always. It’s not something I dismissed altogether. Maybe someday, I’d invent a way to get back in time and tell my younger self to fight for that Romeo role.”

 

“Damn,” Nana cuts in, “Talk about the nerd stuff. Thank god my brain only hums music. Must’ve gotten you a lot of guys with that kind of smarts.”

 

Sana quickly laughs but there was a look on her face that stuck to Dahyun more than anything else. A look hinted with awkwardness when you’re not really agreeing but you just had to. She turns to her manager only to see a pair of eyes already looking at her as if saying _I told you so._

 

“But, off the record,” Yoona pulled her draped blanket closer to her chest as she puts up her feet on her chair. “Who would you wanna date in this table? Save for me, of course. Because that would be a no brainer.”

 

“Wow. Really?” Nana placed both her hands under her chin. “I mean, damn. I’d date myself if that’s possible.”

 

“That’s only because you don’t really have much of a choice so you go: ‘What the hell. Might as well.’” Sooyoung shrugs as everyone laughed. “Self-love is trendy these days.”

 

The banter exchange went back and forth for a couple of more times, which kind of revealed that their director dated around more than Nana and Yoona combined. But that’s because Yoona met Yuri six years ago, and that Nana became too busy.

 

“But let us get back to-”

 

“I’d date Dahyun.” Sana remarkably answers without flinching. She smiles and glances at her co-star, which was stunned and beet red. “Who wouldn’t, right?”

 

It was a good thing that the yard was enormous. The sudden cheers would’ve woken up the entire neighborhood for two nights. Or maybe three, now that Dahyun stands and bows to the seniors as she politely bragged her win with: “Thanks for playing. We hope to see you again soon.”

 

\---

 

The night mellows when Yuri finally comes back and greets everyone and with Yoona obediently tagging along to go to bed. But before she goes into the house, she calls on Dahyun who was talking to Mina.

 

“As you may have read a while ago, the scenes in this film will be intense so I’d like the both of you to be comfortable with each other as early as now. It’s not like I’m asking you to fill out each other’s slum book or anything, okay?” Yoona leaned closer and placed her hand on Dahyun’s shoulder. “Besides, she seems the kind of person who, let’s just say, swings by the same preference as you.”

 

Dahyun’s gaze quickly snaps back up to the writer, to which she only replied with a wink.

 

\---

 

“Mina, are you sure that you’re going to be fine?”

 

The Japanese girl staggers but it was kind of expected when she treated soju like water. Sana, given her immense knowledge in science, can only conclude that she’s either trying to win a bet or she’s practicing to hold the Guiness World Record of getting drunk in the shortest time possible.

 

“Mina?” Dahyun squats down in front of the seated drunk girl, squeezing her hands as she tried to make her come to.

 

“You know.” Mina snaps back up and slurs. “Sana thought that Yoona-ssi caught her looking at-”

 

“Hold it right there, chief. That’s it. You’re going home.” Sana quickly interrupts and helps her sit straight back up. She quickly scanned around to see anyone that she could entrust the producer with but the place was littered with people who are also staggering, or sleepy, or both.

 

When Dahyun noticed this, she tugged on Sana’s wrist and leaned closer.

 

“I have a better idea.”

 

Sana thought that Dahyun’s breath was tinged with alcohol, but not so much.

 

“Jeongyeon-ssi!” Dahyun called out to the manager who was just making her way to them.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Producer Mina is quite a challenge so I was just wondering if you can take her home. Sana and I are going to finish up here then we’ll go back to our rooms as well. Would that be okay?”

 

Jeongyeon learns that Dahyun can be a bit persuasive. Especially on how her brows furrow in genuine concern and how she punctuates her statements with small smiles.

 

“Uhh. Y-y-yeah. Okay.”

 

“Oh come on, Jeong. As if you’re not excited by the idea that you’re carrying Mina home. This is the least you could get for messing up your name thrice.”

 

“Minatozaki Sana!” she growls in gritted teeth, making Dahyun step back and hide behind Sana. When Jeongyeon notices this, she straightens herself up and smiles warmly to them both. “Why, yes Sana. Let me take care of this. I will see you both tomorrow. Have a great evening.”

 

“That’s more like it.” Sana tucks in her hands inside her jacket pockets. “Make sure to get her there in one piece. La marcha!”

 

They both helped Mina climb behind Jeongyeon’s back before sending them off for the night. Then they retreated back to the table to fix whatever they can before sleep finally catches on to them.

 

The night is deep now but the two are not showing any signs of slowing. But then again, they’ll start shooting tomorrow so it’s best to get back to their rooms.

 

As Sana watched Dahyun pack her things, it was only the time it dawned on her that they weren’t really properly introduced or that they had a limited number of shallow interactions as this long day progressed. Not to mention about her answer a while ago that might or might not be influenced by alcohol.

 

“Are you going home?” Sana hands out Dahyun’s script to her.

 

“Thanks.” she smiles softly. “Yeah. There’s not much to do here anyway so I figured to just get back and rest. You?”

 

“I was thinking of staying up some more but I think I’ll just walk you back home, if that’s okay.” Sana tucks her hands inside her jacket.

 

It took a very short while to decide (it mostly involved Dahyun looking around for some reason), before Dahyun presses her lips shyly and nods a bit too enthusiastically.

 

Sana was thanking whoever god was online that night because the walk was long. Football field kind of long. Enough to bring hateful memories of sprints to varsity players kind of long.

 

“Pretty crazy back there, huh?”

 

“Yeah.” Dahyun laughs. “But that’s alright. I think it’s pretty cool.”

 

“You like crazy parties?” Sana looks down and observes how they march on the same pace and landing on the same feet.

 

“No. But I like crazy huddles like these. It doesn’t force us to pretend. I mean, you showed us how to make soda rockets. No actress would have done that in a club.”

 

“Remind me to charge everyone for these tricks. Kids can’t even get that for free these days.”

 

“Ah, drats. And here I was thinking I could get those for free.” Dahyun playfully feigns regret not knowing that Sana most probably would give this to her for free. But Dahyun doesn’t need to know that.

 

“Mina said that you said yes to this movie immediately.”

 

“Yeah. I wanted to try something different this year. People were saying how fun it is to work in indie so I just like to see how it goes.”

 

“It’s not always this good.” Sana disclaims, but quickly recovers from her answer. “There are shitty productions for independently produced films but it really depends. We knew how Director Choi works and how picky Miss Nana is for collaborations. I just had a feeling that we’re in good hands.”

 

Dahyun hums and nods, making the gap between them as dead silent as the cicadas chirping around them.

 

“Well,” she speaks softly. “I’m co-stars with you, Sana. So I think I’ll be in your good hands, then?” She tilts her head slightly towards Sana, but not fully. Only enough to see how Sana stiffens through her peripheral vision. “Don’t worry, Professor. I won’t be much of a problem.” Dahyun’s words sounded more like a challenge than an assurance. But before Sana could return the banter, Dahyun walks ahead and turns around, then she started walking backwards. “At least I’d try not to be.”

 

This is one of the moments where Physics Sana would’ve been useful because in the days that would come, Future Sana will know how much of a handful Dahyun would be.

 

And “not much of a problem” will be a big fat lie.

 

“Here we are.” a thin cloud escapes Dahyun’s lips as she sighed. They found themselves in front of Dahyun’s door but no one seemed too interested to go in. Sana just looks up to the small house for no apparent reason except to let Dahyun break off first.

 

“Yeah.” she surrenders.

 

No one said a word after that, but the silence around them screamed out the things that they wanted to say. Words that are so much more than a ‘yeah’ or an ‘uh huh’.

 

Sana takes a loud deep breath and looks around for a while, as if the situation wasn’t awkward enough.

 

It was Dahyun who breaks the awful silence and was a good thing because the cicadas were so close into losing their shit with their impatience. She takes a step towards the door and locks her eyes into Sana’s.

 

“Did you mean what you said back there?” then she pointed her toes and twisted it. “That you’d date me?”

 

“Oh.” Sana suddenly felt a nervousness that only juvenile kids have in front of their crushes, and she can’t risk making it weird. “I was playing along.”

 

Then Sana thought that the cicada sounds grew aggressively louder.

 

“Ah, drats.” Dahyun drops on her feet together with her shoulders. “And here I am thinking that you swing by the other side of the fence.”

 

“No, no. I just didn’t want you to be weirded out by my straightforwardness!” Sana tried to climb out of the quicksand. “I mean, I find you really attractive but I wasn’t so sure if you’re interested in, you know-”

 

“Sana, I’m gay.” Dahyun stops her from babbling.

 

“Oh.” Sana pauses. “ _Oh_!”

 

“Yeah.” the Korean girl nods slowly and smiles awkwardly because obviously, an _oh_ is not a viable answer.

 

“Oh, wow.” Sana’s head tilts to one side, making a bunch of her locks drop down to the side of her face. The soft glow of the moon made her skin radiate ever so softly before she thought of something more stupid to say. “Like a phase?”

 

Sana thought, for the briefest second, that the cicada sounds died out with her words. Strange.

 

\---

 

“Sooyoung.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“How much ‘natural’ do you need?”

 

“As real as it gets.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I have a good feeling about these two.”

 

“How’d you know.”

 

“I don’t. I just said I have a good feeling.”

 

“We’ll see about that, Writer Im”

 

“Rearrange your shooting schedule. You’ll see what I mean.”

 

“Go back to bed before Yuri kills me for making you stay up late.”

 

“Hey, Im Yoona.” another voice cuts into the phone call.

 

“Honey.” Yoona answers back sweetly.

 

“Go to sleep.”

 

“Okay.” there was a short silence before Yoona speaks softly. “I love you.”

 

There was an unmistakable sad sigh right after the short silence. A body shifts and turns. “I love you so much, too. Go to sleep.”

 

*******


	2. Part 2: Oh, Thank God I'm Super Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are only two laws that Sana respects: The script, and physics. And why are there no cicadas tonight? And what's up with the walking eagle's nest? And what happened to the script?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Thank you so much for your support! It's a pretty hefty chapter (actually, it'll be like this all the time) so it took a pretty long time. I hope you'll like this update!

**Oh, Thank God I'm Super Cute**

Part 2

* * *

 

 

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! _

 

A hand patted down the white duvet, trying to search for the source of the sound that everyone grew to hate. The early rays of sunlight were softly spilling into the windows, showering down over two mounds under the duvet. 

_ Beep! Be-! _

 

“God damn it!” Sana whispers as she succeeds at her first task of the day. Her second task is actually getting up and it’s obviously much more difficult than the first. To motivate herself, she glanced at her phone and tried her very best to look at the time. She even squinted her eyes, because it’s scientifically proven to improve eyesight. 

 

6:32 AM

 

She tried to recollect what bullshit got into her head to make herself wake up at this hour. And why the hell is Dahyun her lockscreen? And why does her phone feel a bit smaller? And when did she change her alarm from the more ominous nuclear warning siren to a  _ beep beep beep _ ? 

 

“Oh, fuck!” she quickly drops Dahyun’s phone. But the bigger question is, what is something that’s not hers, doing in a room that’s hers? “Oh my god.” she stared at the ceiling for a couple of seconds before she ever so slowly turned her head. Because apparently, the speed of which you turn is directly proportional to the likeliness of what you’re assuming to actually happen. 

 

Her heart clenches for a quick second when she saw locks of beautiful hazel sprawled on the other white pillow. She quickly looked away and stared at the ceiling again, trying to piece together what happened last night. 

 

Then came the last checkpoint to confirm any allegations in her head: She lifts the duvet and looks down to whatever she’s wearing. That is, if she’s wearing any.

 

“Shit.” a sigh of relief. 

 

A part of her wished to see herself naked, but Dahyun doesn’t need to know that. 

 

“Mhmm..” she hears Dahyun mumble and stir. Sana didn’t know why she had to pretend to be sleeping but she shut her eyes out anyways and tried her best to stay still. On the other hand, Dahyun snaked her arm under the duvet to search for her phone. Then, when it didn’t work, she propped herself on her elbows and looked around. It was then when Sana felt that someone was hovering above her. Even with closed eyes, she knew that everything is a bit darker. A shadow. And also, the scent of vanilla. 

 

Dahyun crawls over Sana and grabs her phone. Sana would’ve been okay with it but Dahyun stayed on top of her. 

 

“Sana.” a soft sleepy whisper. 

 

Sana laid still.

 

“You do know that you look like someone who’s trying really really hard to look asleep.” 

 

_ Fuck! _ Sana internally curses when she realized that her eyes were shut too tight. She opens them slowly and sees Dahyun’s bare face over hers. It wasn’t close, but it was enough to make Sana feel weird ticklish feelings inside her tummy.

 

“Afraid you’d wake up naked?” Dahyun smiles cheekily. 

 

“How the hell did I pass out? I’m not even drunk last night.” Sana mumbles. 

 

“Good morning.” the other girl laughs.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Sorry, Sana. As much as I want you to stay, I think it’s wise to get back to your own room before anyone checks out on us.” 

 

“Yeah. I think so too.” Sana closes her eyes for real this time and just kind of let herself enjoy this short while before she actually wakes up. And also to think about what Dahyun meant when she said she wanted for her to stay.

 

“To be fair.” Dahyun finally stands up. “I’m not gonna complain if I’d see you on my bed every morning.”

 

“What?” Sana is starting to hate Dahyun’s banter. Not because she dislikes it, but more on she feels like the other girl is messing with her gay brain. 

 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Dahyun teases. “This is just a gay phase, remember?” 

 

“Oh, come on! I’m sorry, okay?” Sana sits up promptly and followed Dahyun with her gaze. 

 

“Super cute.” 

 

Dahyun crumples her nose mockingly at Sana then she disappears into the bathroom.

 

\---

 

Sana carefully closes Dahyun’s door and quickened her pace when she noticed that no one was awake yet. 

 

Which was odd, because in times like these, Manager Yoo would’ve been up already. But in the same case, Sana wished that she wasn’t. It’s like wishing that it’s the zombie apocalypse so that you can beat up the person who spoiled you the Game of Thrones. And wishing it wasn’t because -- well, zombie apocalypse. 

 

Talking of end of the world scenarios and zombies, a short haired girl steps out from another house, staggering about in her mismatched socks as if she was in a hurry because the emergency broadcast from the Health Department just came in. Her hair was a mess. In a poorly curated version of Junior Scout’s Guide, her hair could’ve been mistaken for an eagle’s nest, which not at all flattering. But then again, for someone who might have a crazy night, this was the least of her problems. 

 

Or maybe, her problem was trying to slowly sneak back into Dahyun’s assigned house. 

 

“What the..” the eagle’s nest stopped. She watched as Sana slowly twisted the doorknob and opened the door even more slowly. It would’ve been forgivable but Sana was wearing the clothes that she has on last night. “Sana!” 

 

The Japanese actress suddenly stands up straight, arms on the side, and with the door just kind of swinging open. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat, made an about face, and marched back towards her house. All of which are done without even sparing a glance towards the mess that was Jeongyeon. Or a tree with a nest. She’s not sure. 

 

“Minatozaki Sana!” she quickly intercepts the actress and tugs her wrist to force her to turn to her direction. 

 

“I did not kill anyone! I swear!” 

 

“What the fuck?! What are you saying?”

 

“I don’t know! You called my name like I did a crime!” Sana swatted her hand away, which helped her focus on other important things. Like what the hell happened to her manager. “Holy shit. Jumanji?” 

 

“What were you doing in Dahyun’s room?” 

 

“I.. I..” Sana cleared her throat. Nothing’s stuck in there. It’s just a way to buy her time to plan an escape. “I…” she looks down to avoid Jeongyeon’s eyes, which proved to be the gods’ unending benevolence. You see, Jeongyeon wore red socks last night. And when they helped Mina up on the manager’s back, she could’ve swore that Mina had dark blue socks with small stars on them. Dahyun actually said it was cute. Sana would’ve to agree, though. The color looks cuter by daylight. “You slut.” 

 

“What?” Jeongyeon narrows her eyes at the accusation and follows where Sana was looking. She wore red socks. Like a pair. Left and right were supposed to be red. But the left wasn’t. It had stars on them. 

 

“You!” Sana passes blame. “What did you do with Mina! Where’s your plaid shirt?! You took that off, too?”

 

“I asked you first!” Jeongyeon rebutts.

 

“So you don’t deny it?!”

 

“Holy shit! No! Oh my god! Are you and Dahyun fucking around?!” Jeongyeon whisper shouted her accusations.

 

“W-we were practicing lines! What’s your excuse?” Sana mentally curses herself for stuttering but certain memories brought back some stirring emotions inside of her. She just wished that she wasn’t blushing in front of her manager.

 

“I just helped her get to sleep and then I passed out.” 

 

“With both your socks off?!” Sana covers her mouth because obviously, it’s sex when the socks come off. “You slut! Why are you like this?!”

 

“Who fucked around?” a voice asks from behind them.

 

“Mina and Jeongyeon!” Sana instinctively defends.

 

“Sana and Dahyun!” Jeongyeon accuses at the same time.

 

The third person who just came in covered her lips with hands. Then, a script drops to the ground.

 

\---

 

Last night, when the cicadas decided to call it a night (The main cicada told the council that it wasn’t out of frustration), two girls stood outside the door. 

 

“Like a phase?” her eyes narrowed and her chin crumples adorably.

 

“Sana.” Dahyun sighs in defeat. “I would’ve been mad if you weren’t super cute right now.” 

 

“Oh, thank god I’m super cute.” Sana breaths out audibly in relief. “And thank god, I’m also super gay.” 

 

“I figured.” Dahyun chuckles as she pulls out her keys. 

 

“Of course you did.” the other answers sarcastically. 

 

“Come on.” Dahyun snatches Sana’s wrist and pulled her own hand up her face. “Please tell me that you cut these two nails in particular because of habit.” 

 

“Hey!” Sana takes her hand back and kept it close to her chest. “Show me yours, then!” Dahyun just raises her right hand, all nails cut and no polish. She raised an eyebrow to coerce a reply from the Japanese girl who was just staring at her hand. It was pretty, she thought.

 

“Wanna come inside?” 

 

“What?” there was an unmistakable surprise in Sana’s face. Her thoughts were good, but not entirely pure.

 

“Not the pun! Oh my god. It’s just our first night together!” Dahyun slaps Sana’s shoulders lightly. Thin clouds bursts out from her lips as she chuckled then she went inside. Sana just smiled at this. More specifically, at Dahyun’s comfortable playfulness. Safe to say, she’s not as what Sana expected. Usually, baby doll actresses act cute all the time and people love them that way. 

 

But she’s different. She’s a bit more blunt, a bit more honest, and bit more charming than how she usually is on TV. She jokes without much care on crassness, and she’s much more mature than how she’s usually portrayed. 

 

And much prettier in person, too. Especially when she pulls off her scrungie and shuffles her hair about until it makes a sexy tousle of things. Sana just kind of followed Dahyun with her gaze as the latter threw her bag on the bed, hopped on one foot to take off a sock, and taking off her pink hoodie. 

 

Sana had to look away when Dahyun’s shirt slightly lifts, revealing the white skin underneath. There’s a nagging feeling inside her head telling her that this might not be the best of ideas. But then again, so is holding a kite with a key in the middle of a thunderstorm. That experiment was turned in with great results. 

 

“Sana.”

 

Then the Japanese girl suddenly realized that she has been looking at the water bottle on the table for too long than the world recorded average. She quickly looks back and finds herself staring into the endless stars of the night sky that were Dahyun’s eyes.

“You okay there?” 

 

“Ah, yeah.” Sana nods.

 

“You can look.” Dahyun had this look on her face that says Sana was being strange. “You probably have what I have. Unless you’re hiding something underneath your clothes.”

 

“Is this your way of getting me naked? I only do that after three dates.”  Sana gets out of her jacket and places her things on the nearby chair. “I’m not gonna strip in front of you.”

 

“Aww.” Dahyun frowned, but Sana knows very well that this was some kind of joke to bait a banter. She knows, and she’s starting to hate it. “I kinda hope that you would.” 

 

But no, Sana is better than just surrendering to Dahyun’s antics. She’s better than admitting that it’s driving her crazy. She better than ending up the one who’s chasing. Not tonight. Or maybe not ever. And in between those thoughts, was the fact that she’s going to fail. 

 

“Hey, what’s that?” Dahyun nods to the direction of Sana’s things. An oversized denim jacket and a thick bound script. It was a bit bulkier than Dahyun’s because some of Sana’s pages were folded in half (like how she did when they were still in the car) “You folded some pages.”

 

“Ah, yes.” Sana sits on the edge of the bed and watched Dahyun walk over towards where her things are. “Working habit. I usually fold the important parts. Or at least the parts that I think are important. Character defining moments, turning points, parts that require extra effort. Things like that.” then she drops herself down the bed, with her knees folded on the edge and her feet kind of just swinging and dangling.

 

She feels the bed’s weight shift as the Korean actress crawls on the spot right beside her, belly down and ruffling through the folded pages. Dahyun opened the corner folded pages first, noting that Sana might’ve grouped these parts as difficult solo shots: Crying scenes, walking alone scenes, phone conversation scenes. Practically any scene that only Sana is involved. 

 

Then, Dahyun started randomly opening the pages folded in half. The majority of the pages contained scenes with Aera (Dahyun’s role) and Asami (Sana’s role). But it wasn’t just any scene. These are really intimate scenes like their first kiss, confessions, pillow talks, and a lot more. So when Sana noticed that Dahyun had gone awfully quiet, she turned to the the other girl and quickly snatched her script.

 

Or at least she tried to. 

 

Dahyun was quicker as she pulled the script away from Sana’s reach. She held it out far to her left, while Sana pressed on her right side as she tried to reach for her script.

 

“Hey!” 

 

“Why are these pages folded?” Dahyun tried to confirm her suspicions.

 

“Nothing! Give me that back!” 

 

Sana has a weird habit, although it was an interesting one. And as far as Dahyun is concerned, Sana really has no reason to be this awfully defensive. At this point, Dahyun sits up, and traps Sana’s wrists between her free arm and her waist. Then, she placed the script on her lap and opened another half folded page.

 

> _ ** maybe ask if you can practice this part with co-star? Privately? IDK  _

 

Sana’s penmanship is pretty. It was just a note but Dahyun kind of sensed how meticulous Sana was on some aspects of her career. It’s as if she really cared more on the craft than anything else that came with, and it made Dahyun admire her a bit more. 

 

“Practice?” she mumbled as she looked for the part that was marked with two kiss marks. In the typical typed language, these are called asterisks, but Dahyun doesn’t care too much about that at this point. Her eyes quickly darted to different lines and different letters until she found the line where the ** was written.

 

> **  _ Asami crawls over Aera, eyes locking together in wanting gaze. Their lips brush together in a kiss, but not quite. Both are unsure on what’s going to happen, but they’d rather die than not finding out what happens. _
> 
>  

And that was the reason on why Sana was so riled up into getting her script back. It was Dahyun’s turn to get her head lost in thoughts of what the scene entails. Dahyun didn’t know why, but the idea of privately practicing made her tummy feel all sorts of warm. 

 

Until she felt fingers digging into her ribs, pressing on her ticklish spots. 

 

Oh, right. She had both Sana’s hands trapped on her sides and the Japanese girls is doing the smartest way to escape. 

 

“Sana!” she squealed. “Stop!” before letting her go in between laughter.

 

She just watched Sana take the script away from her hands while thinking about the fact that  she never actually tried practicing lines with someone before. It’s not that she doesn’t want to, but more of her partners wanting to do it in rehearsals and retakes. 

 

They were both quiet for some time, when Dahyun breaks the silence (for the second time tonight, but without the participation of cicadas this time)

 

“So, are you not going to ask me?” she speaks softly, but it was more than enough to hold on to Sana’s attention.

 

“About what?” 

 

“That.” Dahyun points to Sana’s script and smiled. “It says ask the co-star if she wants to practice. I’m your co-star.” she points to herself. “And this place seems private to me.”

 

“You sure about this?” Sana leaned in a bit closer, and Dahyun nods at how Sana smiled excitedly. Or so she thinks. But she surely hopes so. “Alright, then. Get your script.”

 

“Oh, wow. Like we’re practicing now?” 

 

“If you’re worried that we’re kissing tonight, you can rest easy.” Sana laughs as she flipped through her pages once more. “We’re not going to.”

 

“Aww, drats.” Dahyun was at it again. Feigned regret that confuses the hell out of Sana.

 

“Dahyun, stop.” 

 

“What?” Dahyun tilted her head and batted her eyes innocently. Sana just smiles and rolls her eyes playfully at this.

 

“I’m serious. Stop joking like that.”

 

\---

 

“Aish.” Jeongyeon presses curled fingers into her eyes.

 

2:17 AM

 

Now, there are a number of ill-welcomed sensations that all of us never want to experience again. Hangovers, for one, is something that you don’t want to feel. Or at least until someone screams “shots!” on the next Saturday night huddle, then you’re in for a treat. Another one is having the skin on the corner of your nail peel off, because by then, you’d have to pull it and unzip the whole patch of skin that covers your hand. The next is water logged socks. You know how it feels when you take a step and the water squeezes out then once you lift your foot, all the expelled water gets sucked right back in? Then you step again, and you realize that it’s an unending cycle. 

 

Fortunately, Jeongyeon doesn’t have to unzip her hand. However, with the unfortunate circumstance that might or might not be brought upon by Sana’s curse, she found herself looking down on the bed where Mina was sleeping. 

 

She wasn’t like that a couple of hours ago. A few hours ago, she was way worse. 

 

Jeongyeon remembers juggling Mina on her back, while trying to get the keys inside the knob, and trying to keep her drunken self up. As if that wasn’t hard enough, Mina started making these weird sounds. The kind of sound when your cheeks are puffed but your lips are pressed shut. 

 

There are no words but you know in your heart what it meant. 

 

“No, no, no! Wait! Not here!”

 

This was a couple of hours ago: 12:41 AM. Jeongyeon has miraculously sobered up. 

 

Mina’s arm around the manager’s neck tightened and she could feel the air draw out together with her soul. Mina’s other hand was dangerously covering her lips and if the dam gives, that same hand will function like mudflaps on a rainy day. 

 

“Mina! Just hold it in!” Jeongyeon almost crawls towards the bathroom when she heard gagging noises and felt drops on her shoulders. “No..” she cried quietly. “Please, no.”

 

It ends up with both their socks of, Mina’s head hanging over the edge of the toilet, and Jeongyeon’s plaid shirt hanging by the door. There were specific spots that was washed with water. Like the shoulder region, for example. Although, Jeongyeon has no plans on telling Sana just that. 

 

Then Mina’s chest swells and her cheek puffs out, so Jeongyeon kneels beside her and makes sure that her hair doesn’t get in the way. 

 

“Let it out. There you go.” Jeongyeon sighs. Quite surprisingly, she learned how to take care of the dearly beloved drunk while in college. One could conjecture that the manager does this to Sana everytime because of the endless parties and events but the only time she did this was when Sana got stomach flu. Sana rarely goes out to ‘party’. Jeongyeon loved that. But she also loved the fact that she has the necessary skills to clean up. Then there goes Mina with last night’s dinner. Jeongyeon takes a mental note of what Mina owes her so far.

 

She had to drag Mina back to her bed, and when one is half drunk, everything seems to be a bit heavier than usual. Blame it on the lame arms and the slow reflexes. Blame it on  Mina for being literally a dead weight. 

 

When she made sure that Mina is finally okay, she drops on the spot right beside the producer and sighed. 

 

“Maybe I’ll rest my eyes a bit.” she breathes. 

 

‘Maybe’, and ‘a bit’. Whoever told us that it’s a good combination?

 

\---

 

2:20 AM

 

Meanwhile in Dahyun’s house, while Jeongyeon was struggling in an undisclosed location, Sana sat on the floor with her back against Dahyun’s bed. The Korean girl was lying belly down right beside her with her chin tucked in her folded arms. 

 

“I found a very interesting piece that you marked.” Dahyun speaks softly into the night. The lights are out with only the moonlight spilling into the windows and showering them both in its glorious silver light. 

 

“Which one?” Sana turns her head slightly towards Dahyun.

 

“The one about chances. Why did you mark it?”

 

“I don’t know, really. I mean this might sound corny but I kind of felt that I spoke through Asami in that part. And I think it’s a really cute part. It would be a waste if we mess that up.” 

 

“Yeah.” Dahyun mumbles, her eyes still watching how Sana tried to look for words. “You wanna practice?” 

 

Sana looks at the pair of eyes that was already staring at her, then she smiled like it was the craziest proposition she heard tonight.  But Dahyun was unmoved. She just raised a brow and smiled behind her folded arms. 

 

“Well.” 

 

“It’ll be fun.” a giggle.

 

“Alright.” Sana surrenders to her will and passes her script to the girl on the bed. “For your lines. I memorized mine.” Dahyun takes the script, but to Sana’s surprise, she tossed it to the far side of the bed. 

 

“One look, Sana. I get my lines at one look.” 

 

“We’ll see about that. If you mess up, you owe me a date.” Sana gets up to her feet, and at this point she can’t tell if she felt a bit heavier because she’s sleepy or because of the nerves. Sana thought it was the earlier because she rarely gets nervous.

 

“Ah, then I’d just have to lose three times to take you to bed?” Dahyun rises to her knees and ties her hair in a messy bun.

 

“Why are you like this?” Sana covers her face with her hands, because now she is actually nervous. “Why. Are you. Like this?”

 

“What? I like seeing how you react. It’s kinda cute.” The Korean actress pulls Sana’s hands down by the wrist, revealing a face that was tinted in various shades of red. Dahyun removes the ‘kinda’ and raises her case as ‘hella cute’.

 

“Ugh. Alright, how does the scene go?” 

 

Dahyun explains that they both have to sit on the floor with their backs against the bed. As a character, Asami sits with crossed legs and Aera hugs her knees close to her chest. Then they’d have to choose a song to dance to. Dahyun suggests Fade Into You by Mazzy Star while Sana chooses Dashboard Confessional’s The Brilliant Dance. After a quick argument, they both settled with Crash Into Me by Dave Matthew’s Band with Dahyun commenting “Why didn’t we think of that in the first place?” 

And so the scene plays. The lights are out and they both watched the night sky from where they are sitting. 

 

"I do not believe in destiny, Asami." Aera cautiously chooses her words. It’s not Asami’s fault that she’s subscribes to a different philosophy, but that doesn’t mean that Aera has to agree to it. 

 

"What do you believe in, then?" 

 

"Chances. Hopeful chances. Missed chances - deliberate and not. I believe in choices that we take, and the choices that we leave, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we're making the right ones."

 

A nagging silence sat in between them in the next moments, letting them recollect their thoughts and philosophies about destined things. Aera wanted to be proven wrong, if she wants to be honest, and it was fortunate that Asami knows the right words.

 

"You know, the chance to birth a star is two hundred fifty million to one against. In any existing point in space." Sana’s (not Asami’s) eyes flutters down to Aera’s lips before she started looking for the same stars in her eyes. "We are all made of stars, Aera. We are all made of the same chances. The poetic irony in it is, if you tie in all of these chances from the start of everything to where we are right now, it compels me to believe that somehow we are meant to be where we are. Me, with you. And you, with me. Chances are the choices we make to end up in a specific destined moment."

 

"How can one reason against something so romantically profound?" Aera speaks softly. 

 

"You don't." Asami laughs, almost like a passing whisper. "But the good thing is, you get to choose. Chances and choices. So what do you choose between the stars and now?" 

 

Aera just looks into Asami’s eyes quietly and smiles at the sight of them. 

 

“What choice would lead me to you?” Aera asks shyly.

 

Asami stands up and offers her hands, to which Aera readily accepted. She pulls herself up and as she straightened her clothes, she felt a pair of warm arms snaking around her waist. At this point, everything became instinctive. Less thought, more feelings. And so Dahyun (not Aera) wraps her arms around Sana’s neck and knocks their foreheads softly. 

 

The breath between their lips is warm. But it was nothing compared how their insides felt. 

 

“You choose ‘The Now’, Aera. ‘The Now’ leads you to me.” 

 

They started sidestepping as Crash Into Me plays in the background. There’s nothing much to say at this point as the scene closes with the dance. But somehow, they both realized at this moment that no one was really letting go. Dahyun’s embrace tightens a bit as she settles in, and Sana wishes that her heart steadies down, for god’s sake. 

 

“The birth of a star was such a Physics Sana line.” closed eyes, and foreheads together, Dahyun laughs softly.

 

“You caught that, huh?” Sana chuckles.

 

“I told you, one look. That was a good touch. You should let that stay, professor.” 

 

“Maybe I will, director. Let’s see how it goes tomorrow.” 

 

Tomorrow isn’t really far off. In about 4 hours, Sana will be awakened by Dahyun’s alarm. An eagle’s nest would stagger out, and Mina will be waking up with a hangover twice as bad as Jeongyeon’s. 

 

But it would still be a few more hours before those. Right now, their sidestepping continues as it slowly comes to be a brilliant dance. Their heart steadies for the first time this night, and the comfort began to show itself in the most creative ways. 

 

And maybe, in the days to come. 

 

\---

 

“Cut!” Sooyoung claps her hand once and huddles with the production crew by the monitors. She watched the whole scene once more before turning to the writer who was seated on the corner of the room. The director had this face that you’d make whenever you watch these Youtube videos where they threw pizza like a frisbee and ends up in the microwave of a house two blocks away. It was a “WTF?”, but the good kind.

 

Yoona slouches back on her chair and crosses her leg over the other. She just watched as Sooyoung excitedly opened her own script and stuck a post it on one of the pages. The director writes a short note that says DONE and a few post production notes in bullet form. 

 

Day 1 of Unknown wraps up.

 

“Two hundred fifty million to one against.” Yoona greets as Sooyoung approached her spot. “Who would’ve thought? How are the kids?” 

 

“Unexpected.” the director just shrugs and folds her arms loosely below her chest. 

 

“You’re such a tough nut to crack. I say they did mighty fine. Look.” Yoona nods towards the operations area where Sooyoung watched as Dahyun wrote some notes on the script that Sana was holding. Dahyun seemed to explain how the next scene would go, complete with single hand gestures and exaggerated acting. Then she’d go back to her own script and write notes on it as well. Maybe a reminder that she should keep the adlib of Sana singing Yellowcard’s Ocean Avenue. 

 

Sana would just laugh, but not so much because their hairdressers are busy attending to their hairstyles. It’s a professional’s job to make your hair as mundane as possible. Sooyoung called it a production secret. But Sana doesn’t seem to care about all of these, especially when she tucks Dahyun’s stray locks away from her eyes.

 

At this point, Yoona pulls her phone out of her pocket and swipes on a message. 

 

“Yuri’s here. Gotta run to the wifey. Anyway, have you done the shot reschedule?” 

 

“Why are you so keen on this?” Sooyoung breathes out, quite annoyed. 

 

“If what I’m seeing is what I think it is,” she dials her phone, not really looking at her friend, “you’ll be surprised to how it will help you in the long run.” 

 

“What the hell are you seeing that you think you’re seeing?” 

 

“Do you know that Dahyun and Sana are playing nookie?” 

 

A script falls on the floor. The second unwilling victim for the growing script death tolls today. 

 

“Honey!” she speaks on the phone. “I’m on my way to the gate. They’re almost done shooting here as well. They messed up our house.” 

 

“We did not mess up your house!” Sooyoung shouts in hopes that she could defend herself from Yuri.

 

\---

  
  


Day 5 of Unknown starts with an argument. 

 

“Technically, running makes you fatter?” Dahyun trails closely behind as Sana walks into the kitchen.

 

“No, you need to run to the speed of light to do that.” 

 

“So does that mean that Flash is the fattest man in the world?” 

 

“He turns heavy, not fat.” 

 

“How can he be so fast if he’s fat?” 

 

“Heavy.” Sana takes two cans of coffee in throws them into a pot of boiling water. Dahyun still follows her around as she went from one point of the kitchen to another. Like an annoying kid with too many questions.

 

“Whichever.”

 

“He’s heavy because he’s fast.” 

 

“And if so, does everyone in the Enterprise become heavy if they zip into hyperspace?” 

 

“Whoa, there!” Sana suddenly turns around with a face painted in a combination of shock and disgust. “You meant Millenium Falcon, right?” 

 

“Well.” the other one just kept a straight face.

 

“Right?” Sana’s brow raises into a challenge. 

 

Dahyun just stared at her as she was trying her best to stop herself from beaming at Sana’s reaction. The Japanese girl’s chin crumples when she pouted. Sulking isn’t really Sana’s strongest point, but it’s starting to become Dahyun’s favorite elicited reaction. 

 

“God!” her laughter comes through gritted teeth and her fists were balled in frustration. “I would’ve said Enterprise but you just look so damn cute when you’re riled up.” 

 

“Oh, thank god I’m super cute.” Sana sighs in relief as she flicks on Dahyun’s nose.

 

“Ow!” fingers rub over the bullseye. Sana cautiously takes out the cans and pours the contents into porcelain cups. She hands one to Dahyun, not forgetting to tell her to be careful because it’s hot.

 

“Are you guys going out today?” Sana sips from her cup.

 

“Yeah. We’re going downtown to shoot some parts. Apparently, Son Chaeyoung is coming over. We’re shooting some parts there before she leaves in the evening.” 

 

“Oh, the kid from Augustus! (Augustus is a film about a young girl who solves crimes using deduction. It was a famous film.) I like her. She’s fun in variety shows. Why is she leaving so soon?” 

 

“She’s doing another movie back in Seoul tomorrow afternoon. Then she’d join us after two days. Her schedule is crazy. Maybe that’s the reason why.” Dahyun nods as she sips her coffee.

 

“Reason for what?”

 

“My manager said that there might be some schedule reshuffling for the scenes. Economic reasons.” 

 

Sana just nods quietly, as if this kind of information wasn’t new to her. She worked with strictly budgeted films before and unsequenced shots are not really something that surprised her. Even big tickets do it too. 

 

“I can sense a meeting with Jeongyeon.” Sana presses two fingers against her temple. “In five. Four. Three.” 

 

“Sana.” Jeongyeon enters the kitchen and turns to Dahyun for a quick second. “Oh hi, Miss Kim!” 

 

“Just Dahyun. Oh, wait! That’s for Mina. Call me Dahyun. It’s fine.”

 

“I was just at three. You’re supposed to enter at one. That’s how the system works. Why are you so barbaric?” Sana shakes her head slowly in annoyance. With this, Jeongyeon marched back to the edge of the kitchen and waited for Sana to restart her count. “Three. Two. One.” 

 

“Sana, Director Choi will be meeting with everyone in an hour. Production meeting.” she marches in on cue. 

 

Dahyun just stood there, a bit confused on what just happened. 

 

“Shot reshuffle?” 

 

“I see that Dahyun already told you. Do you want to be her manager instead? I’m totally open with that proposition.” 

 

“I’d love to!” Dahyun walks past Jeongyeon, but before she does, she leaned in a bit closer and whispered. “..but she hogs the blankets most of the time.” 

 

There’s one thing that came to the manager’s mind: How the hell did Dahyun know about Sana’s sleeping habits? 

 

“She what? Dahyun!” 

 

The couple just walked on inside to join the others, not paying much attention to the sirens that were going off inside Jeongyeon’s head. Now might be a great time to change her alarm to Sana’s recommendation of a nuclear missile alarm.

 

\---

 

“Sana, Dahyun.” Sooyoung pointed to the two vacant chairs. “Sit together.” then she sat on the corner edge of the table as she flipped through her script. “As all of you may know, we’re readjusting our shoot schedules since some of our artists have tight schedules. Miss Son, thank you for joining us today.” Sooyoung craned her neck and nodded when she saw Chaeyoung stand and bowed to the general easterly and westerly directions. That should cover the whole crowd.

 

“Glad to be here. Please take care of me.” she said cheerfully. Sana and Dahyun looked at each other for a quick second with ‘Aww’s’ on their faces. 

 

“We’ll start with Dahyun’s scenes with Chaeyoung so we can finish that before she goes back to Seoul. We’ve made new call sheets together with Mina and we’ll be giving those out in a while. Then, we’ll proceed with Sana’s scenes. Assistant Director Kim, you can start with Sana’s scenes as instructed since Yoona will be staying with you guys. Any questions?” 

 

There was a bit of murmuring and whispering but from where Sooyoung was sitting, she could tell that it’s about confirming schedules and such. She nods and proceeds. 

 

“Alright, new pages to shoot. Turn your scripts to pages..” Sooyoung’s voices faded out from Sana’s head but she followed obediently as the director roll called the pages. It was all good when suddenly, she found herself opening pages folded in halves. 

 

“Fuck.” she whispers. With a quick scribble, she wrote down the corresponding shoot dates for every page that was called. 

 

Sooyoung calls out another page. Sana turns another. She scribbles, then she listens again as if waiting for the inevitable to happen. She’s going through most of the half pages already and she can’t keep her heart still.

 

Sooyoung calls another. Sana turns another.

 

> _ ** maybe ask if you can practice this part with co-star? Privately? IDK  _

 

The note stared right back at here from the abyss of reality. It will come to this at some point, she thought, but maybe not this soon. There were a thousand thoughts running through her head and it makes her feel annoyingly confused at the thought of kissing Dahyun (actually, if you read the entire scene, it’s between making out and almost having sex).

 

She slowly looks at Dahyun, only to see her looking down on the page that Sana just marked. She wasn’t saying anything or doing anything. 

“Okay, that’s all the rescheduled pages for now.” Sooyoung finally says but Sana was still looking at Dahyun, and Dahyun was still looking at Sana’s script.

 

It was only after a couple of minutes when Dahyun leans across Sana’s lap and scribbles a note on the page. 

 

~~_ ** maybe ask if you can practice this part with co-star? Privately? IDK  _ ~~

_ ** Practice with Dahyun tomorrow night. Privately. 11PM. _

 

\---

 

Day 6 of Unknown and it’s all about thoughts of tonight. And of course, the tension that came with it. 

 

After a scene, Sana runs to her phone and swipes to open a message. 

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

We’re stopping by the downtown market with Yoona-unnie.

Want me to get you anything? 

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Uhmm.. do we need anything for tonight? 

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

One, we’re not having sex. 

Two, we don’t have dicks. 

Should I buy you a nail file? 

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

OH SHUT UP! 

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

The things I’d give just to see that riled up face. Hahaha

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Not amused, Kim Dahyun.

 

Yoona has been suspicious while watching Dahyun laugh at her phone. It didn’t help when Dahyun suddenly stops laughing altogether and puts her phone down like she saw something that she shouldn’t be in there. With short glances around to check whoever is in close proximity, Dahyun carefully looks at her phone again and smiles. 

  
  


**[Kim Dahyun]:**

Why are you like this? :(

 

[Minatozaki Sana]:

Like what? Like super cute?

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

Nothing! I’ll buy chips.

 

[Minatozaki Sana]:

One, we’re not watching a movie. We are /in/ a movie.

Two, no really what is it?

 

In the last two things that Dahyun said, one is a blatant lie. It was more obvious when she was holding a big bag of Doritos.

 

It wasn’t  _ nothing _ . Sending random selfies to another person isn’t nothing. Seeing her face and and actually wanting to see her face in person isn’t nothing. And these thoughts were enough to compel Dahyun to lock her phone and keep it somewhere that she’ll never reach. Like a cupboard. Or a dark basement.

 

After another scene ends, Sana runs to her phone and swipes on a message, but her smile quickly fades when she realized that it was just Jeongyeon sending here a meme. It’s not that she doesn’t like memes. It has been the cornerstone of Sana and Jeongyeon’s dynamics. But somehow, there’s one specific person that she wanted to see on her message inbox. It felt weird to actually expect her to be there because they’re not together, but she can’t deny the fact that Dahyun was the first person she thought she’d see in her phone. 

 

She takes a deep breath, sends a warning to Jeongyeon to let her work, then she shakes off the feeling. 

 

\---

 

On the drive back to Yoona’s residence, Dahyun decided to join the writer in the front seat. She watched as she skillfully maneuvered over pathways and bumpy country roads as if she had been doing this for a long time. It made Dahyun wonder about a lot of things because, quite frankly, the writer is such a character.

 

“Yoona-ssi. You were really impressive when you were directing a scene. Have you ever tried being a director?” 

 

“Ha!” Yoona laughs. “Being a writer and being a director are two entirely different things. I envision things. I know how I want it to look like. A director can do that too, but also, directors often oversee logistics, schedules, and actual people. If I was half as organized as Sooyoung, or half as competent on handling people as my wife, then I wouldn’t be writing things.”

 

“Yuri-ssi is a director?” 

 

“Yes.” she sighs. “And no. She’s mainly a producer. That’s how I met her. Through Sooyoung.” she glances at Dahyun and smiles before turning her attention back to the road. “But she also tried managing artists and directing a movie. She had to retire early for some personal reasons, though. But once it blows over, she’ll have to find herself doing what she does best. Have you seen Indigo’s White Water Rapids?” Yoona pertains to the music video that Yuri made. It was reminiscent of Phoenix’s Entertainment (this is a real band, check them out) and gained a lot of controversy when it was released.

 

“Yeah!” Dahyun jolts up. “I think that was a couple of years back.” 

 

“Two years. It was her last project before she took a break.” 

 

“I hope she gets to recover from the personal problem. It would be great to see her works again.” Dahyun presses her head against the car window and watched the trees zip past in front of the purple sky. And it was a good thing that she did, because Yoona had time to wipe off the tears that started to well in her eyes. 

 

“Yeah. I really do hope so.” 

 

Good thing she managed to still sound fine.

 

\---

 

Day 6 of Unknown ends with a barbecue dinner that Yoona prepared for everyone. She said it was her dog Pluto’s birthday but Sooyoung said that she just wants an excuse to spend money and drink. Which maybe partly true, but Yoona will never admit that. 

 

“I’ll take that!” Jeongyeon points at the Bailey’s shot in front of Mina, eliciting ‘oh’s’ and ‘ah’s’ from the group. “The more Mina drinks, the closer we are to imminent danger.” 

 

“In the light of the recent accusations, I am compelled to go out of my way and defend myself! Yoo Jeongyeon’s accusations are baseless and untrue!” 

 

“I have picture evidences, your honor!” Jeongyeon raises her hand.

 

Yoona slams the table, Mina gasps, and Jeongyeon stands up. 

 

“The prosecution may proceed.” Yoona acknowledges Sana’s manager, who promptly stood up and gave her phone to the writer. 

 

“No, wait!” Mina’s quick defense may have given out the fact that Jeongyeon’s accusation may have been based, and that her defensiveness will make her the topic of this night. 

 

Mina would have to get Jeongyeon’s head next time. 

 

This could’ve been funny. In a normal day for Sana, this could’ve been the type of banter that she’ll use to haunt Jeongyeon and Mina for the rest of their days. Except, she can’t really pay attention to the whole scene because Dahyun is sitting so close. 

 

In fact, Sana swore she could feel Dahyun’s rib as she snuggled close to her flank and the edge of her elbows resting over Sana’s thigh. The part that Sana most probably missed is how Dahyun wanted to stay this close ever since they slow danced almost a week a go, and that somehow Sana left a taste that Dahyun instinctively searches for. 

 

“I’m gonna bet on these two.” Dahyun watches Mina defend herself as Jeongyeon accused her of puking on her shoulders. 

 

“What?” 

 

Sana shouldn’t have asked that. Because now, Dahyun will have to turn and face her with her half closed eyes and parted lips that are so close to hers. 

 

“I said, I’m gonna bet on these two.” 

 

The breath the draws out from the whisper touches Sana’s lips and she could’ve swore that it tasted like watermelon punch. If seen from the other side of the table, it would seem that there’s something going on and nothing’s going on. The only people who knew is Dahyun, who’s lips light brushes against Sana’s cheek, then to her ear. 

 

And there’s Sana who’s clenching her fists like she’s holding on for dear life.

 

“Hey.” Dahyun whispers into her ear and Sana felt her knees give. She wanted to be the one who holds out, but it’s so damn difficult when hot breath tickles her skin. Sana’s head became all fuzzy but as long as there’s laughter around, no one would notice how tight she had to cross her legs just to brace herself.

 

“We’ll see each other after this, right?” Confirming attendance has never sounded so sexy. 

 

“Y-yeah.”  _ fuck _ . Sana had to curse herself for stuttering. “For practice.” 

 

“Good. Because I got myself prepared.” What Dahyun meant was she’s ready, and she hated herself for making it sound so wrong. 

 

Good thing no one really cared. At least between the two of them.

 

\---

 

12:24 PM 

 

A big bag of Doritos was still full and the light from Dahyun’s laptop was the only source of light in the room. It was Sana’s idea to watch kissing scenes from various movies as it served as good references for the scenes that they’ll do. No one really can tell how a practice should look like but one can be sure that it’s not lying on the bed, backs against a mound of people, and Dahyun snuggled maybe a bit too close inside Sana. 

 

Sana wasn’t convinced about rom-com kissing scenes but she banked on Blue is the Warmest Color and the royal couple’s kiss in the hit drama series called Goong. 

 

But kissing is a life skill. It’s like driving, or cooking. And if you think that it’s a kind of skill that wouldn’t take you far, maybe you’re wrong. So Dahyun looks up to meet Sana’s eyes and speaks in hushed tones. 

 

“Sana, have you kissed someone before?” 

 

Sana is confused to why Dahyun was looking into her eyes so intently. 

 

“Like a girlfriend?” 

 

“Yeah.” it came out almost as breathy exhale. 

 

“Uh-huh.” she nods. “High school. A long time ago.” 

 

“Was it your first?” Dahyun bites her lip and Sana has to ask herself why the hell.

 

“Yes. It’s a girl too, if you want to know.” 

 

“Good.” Dahyun looks down on the laptop monitor again and pulls up under tab for Youtube. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“It’s an hour and a half since we started and we haven’t done anything but stall. I honestly don’t know what to do so I’d like to know if your first kiss looks and feels closer to which scene.” Dahyun explains. Sana tried to think about it but there’s something in what Dahyun said that piqued her interest. 

 

“What do you mean you don’t know.” 

 

“Sana.” Dahyun finds Sana’s eyes, and the other girl felt nervous for some reason. “This. And you. Will be my first kiss.”  

 

Science has always been objective but somehow Sana found herself in a predicament of sorts. Dahyun switches her gaze down Sana’s lips before losing them once more in the infiniteness of the Japanese’s eyes. There are things to reconcile between the ceremonial first kiss and the task that they originally set out to satisfy. But just like science and faith, there are middle grounds. 

 

“Dahyun.” she begins, and the Korean felt herself tense up when her name was whispered with verve. “I think..” she sweeps off the laptop on Dahyun’s lap, together with the opened scripts out of the way. One look, Dahyun said. It would only take her one look to know what she needs to do and what she needs to say. 

 

“If I was your first kiss and you want me so bad, how would you do it?” Sana sits up slowly. 

 

And oh was the question easy to answer. Because Sana is her first kiss and she wants her bad, too. But the thing with easy questions is that some easy answers are hard to say. Good thing Sana is willing to give a helping hand. 

 

“Kissing is feeling. When what you feel cannot be turned into words, you turn to your instinct.” there was an unmistakable ember in Sana’s eyes. The kind that Dahyun would see to have herself consumed. 

 

The script is the law, and the law says that Sana crawls on top of Dahyun. 

 

And so she did, ever so carefully that the weight on the bed shifts slowly. Her face hovered dangerously close over Dahyun’s.

 

The Korean actress has always been professional so it’s quite embarrassing when she felt her heart pound wildly inside her chest. Even more embarrassing is when she felt her cheeks burn in all shades of red and Sana was there to see all of it. 

 

Instincts. 

 

“Sana.” Dahyun calls out softly. The other girl feels warm breath against her slightly parted lips. Aera was Dahyun’s name in the movie but for whichever reason, she can’t find it in herself to correct. Especially now that Sana’s sharp nose was touching the tip of hers. 

 

“Trust me.” she breathes with dreamy eyes and love-drunk thoughts.

 

The script is the law and the law says their lips should press gently and build into a kiss that melts into redemptive liberation. But laws are meant to be broken, and only the Laws of Physics are eternal. So when Dahyun’s lips permitted, Sana was the first to break the rules when she presses her lips gently as her tongue slithers in. She has always wondered how Dahyun’s kiss tasted like, only to realize that it will never be defined by postulates and corollaries. 

 

Instinct has led Dahyun to respond in kind. Shy kisses turns into melted lips that perfectly blended the tastes of tongue and minty toothpaste. She nibbles and sucks Sana’s lips lightly, then it was Sana’s turn to moan against the kiss. 

 

“Baby, that’s not part of the script.” Sana finally breaks of but her lips are still pressed against Dahyun’s. 

 

“Maybe,” she leans in again for another taste. “We’re not doing scripts anymore.” then comes another deeper kiss. “Because calling me baby.” then another. “Isn’t part of the script either.” 

 

***

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Part 3:The Universal Laws of Gravitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon gets on to the science as she observed how two bodies gravitate towards each other.

**The Universal Laws of Gravitation**

Part 3

* * *

 

 

There’s a full bag of Doritos by the floor. By now, it has grown stale as corn chips weren’t designed to stand out in the open and in the cold for too long. The laptop was dimmed. Maybe because it’s about to run out of batteries and no one really bothered to plug it in. The sheets are messed up. The scripts are half highlighted.

 

Two bodies are tangled on each other. With Dahyun cupping Sana’s face in a kiss while she straddled the Japanese girl.

 

Their lips melted against each other in a sweet warmth of flavors that both of them are new to. Sana’s lips parts gently and Dahyun’s tongue darts in carefully, as if testing the waters if Sana would repay in kind.

 

Hands squeeze on her waist, and Dahyun tenses up at the hint of Sana’s pent up wanting. So she leans in deeper and presses her kisses a bit harder. Unpolished fingers comb through rich raven tinted locks, bunching them gently before she lets go.

 

It has been going on for almost a couple of hours now. Them, practicing lines and going through scenes. Then, whenever a kiss is involved, they’ll try it out and somehow it ends up with kisses that are wetter and hotter than before.

 

It’s easy to lose your head when soft lips nibble and press against yours. So much so that it won’t take too much for reflexes to kick in. Tongues wrap in and around each other and as their kisses failed to relent, they found hands roaming on curves that are too vulgar to be seen in public.

 

Sana breaths in through her nose as Dahyun leaned in harder for a kiss. Good thing they’re still both right in the head, because it only ends up the way it started.

 

Just kisses.

 

And those are pretty safe, right? At least that’s what they both thought in that infinite moment.

 

\---

 

"Dude, you alright?" Jeongyeon follows Sana with her eyes as the actress marched on the other side of Yoona's kitchen. "You have this weird look and your smile is…” there was a pause to find the right words. “Unusually sprightly." the manager gestures to her face.

 

Sana just pours in some brewed coffee into a paper cup. One of her fingers touches her lips unconsciously, as if to search for a flavor that was there last night.

 

"Sana."

 

The actress smiles at the thoughts of minty toothpaste.

 

"Sana!"

 

She jerks up and turns to the girl who was leaning her back against the counter.

 

"Uh, yeah." Sana rubs the back of her neck. "I'm fine."

 

"Director Choi met with production this morning. We'll be pushing hard to finish principal photography before winter. That gives us around seven or eight more weeks. So I need your head in the game. Okay?"

 

There are two things here that successfully made their way to Sana’s head, like that annoying strand of noodle that manages to slip off the colander. One, they need to push hard. Meaning, they need to do well. Two, they have eight weeks.

 

For average artists, this is a cause for panic. When she worked with The House that Fire Built, she remembered how they had to finish 8 pages of script in a day, and one of her co-stars literally puked without even drinking alcohol. Apparently, those were anxiety attacks from the mere pressure to do well. And maybe the co-star’s a Capricorn. They usually fold like that under immense pressure because they always want to do well in the first try.

 

As for Sana, there are two important thoughts in her head. Doing well is a perfect excuse to ‘practice’ and she only has eight weeks to be with Dahyun.

 

“Sana!” Jeongyeon’s voice thundered that it literally slapped Sana back to reality. Yes, she was still very much in the conversation.

 

“Yes! I got it, Jeongie!” Sana’s volume competed, and as soon as she realized that she might have took a stand harder than she should, she repeated her affirmation. But softer this time. “I mean, yes. I got it. Looks like my mad skills will be put to the test again.”

 

But it wouldn’t only be her skills. There are other things that will be tested.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

She nods yes, she would be. But no, she won’t be.

 

\---

 

On one of the breaks, Sana leaves her script by the table and scurried off to get refreshments. Then, a certain hazel haired girl enters the area and opens the script to leave a note. She quickly leaves for another scene then Sana snatches her script and makes her way to the production area.

 

It didn’t take her long to notice the yellow post-it that was sticking out from the pages. She takes a quick look around before opening it and sees a familiar penmanship.

 

> _** Baby, we’re being pushed for eight weeks. Which means we need to do good. Which means we need to practice._

 

There was a stupid grin on Sana’s face. And as if the universe conspired, a certain song plays on Jeongyeon’s phone.

 

It was The 1975.

 

\---

 

_[This is how it starts.]_

 

Mornings are for work. The nights are for practices. But if the schedule says they need the moonlight for the scene, then the night is for work and the mornings are for practice.

 

In a simple sense, they just kept on these 'sessions' faithfully. The practices increased, and the kisses that came along with them.

 

It was a kind of an unspoken agreement that they don’t talk about. They meet up anywhere, away from the prying eyes of everyone, read through the scripts, and wake up on the same bed. If it was Sana’s or Dahyun’s, it doesn’t really matter.

 

They never talk about it anyways. They never talk about any of these anyways.

 

Rolled scripts on hand, and Dahyun reads her lines with her full emotions. Sana responds in kind and turns her back to the other girl, just like what the script says. And so, Dahyun pulls her by the elbow, and Sana turns so quickly that their eyes meet so suddenly. None of them is quite prepared to see each other’s teared up eyes that glisten under the pale moonlight, and it gets so difficult to focus when Dahyun cups Sana’s cheek. The only thing that she could do is lean into the touch and close her eyes.

 

On other parts, Sana pushes Dahyun against the wall then she’d hold the Korean’s wrists above her head. Curse the script for putting her in a compromising position, and all she could do is get her eyes lost into the ones that were staring right back at hers.

 

Dahyun's heart beats faster. Sana's grip loosens, but still, Dahyun holds her arms up and surrenders. Invitations always show in glossed eyes and slightly parted lips, and Sana had no real way of stopping herself from leaning in for the kiss. She could feel Dahyun's sly smirk as their lips meet. Yup, she's totally okay with this.

 

Shy and gentle. Then, deep and and wet.

 

Speaking of scripts and compromising positions, Sana reads the screen play aloud lying down on Dahyun’s bed. As if it was the most normal thing in the world at this point.

 

"This part actually wants you to lie on top of me." she calls to the girl in the bathroom.

 

"Scene 17?" Dahyun dabs the thick towel against her cheeks, strands of wet hair still stuck against her skin.

 

"Yeah. You’ve read about this?” Sana closes her eyes and drops her arms wide on the bed. Before she could hear an answer, she felt a weight suddenly jumping down and pressing on her. “Ow!” her eyes shut tighter, so she had no way to anticipate the soft lips that presses on hers.

 

A quick soft peck.

 

“And Aera leans closer and whispers to Asami if she’s okay if they share the bed tonight.” Dahyun adds in the rest of the screenplay. Sana would’ve asked what the kiss was for because it wasn’t written anywhere (given that Dahyun gets 90% of her lines after one look) but there’s a nagging voice in her brain telling her that this might ruin whatever this is. Especially now that Dahyun rests her head against Sana’s chest, quite tired on how the day had been.

 

Everytime Sooyoung calls “Cut!”, her brows meet in the middle. Then, she turns to the writer who was already giving her a smug look. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two young actresses. And it has become apparent as they crunched through the weeks of principal photography.

 

What they show is that they are well prepared. What they don’t show is how they put pieces of themselves into their craft and their unspoken attraction to one another.

 

What they don't show is that they have allotted more hours kissing when there's like five kissing scenes in the movie. The script is the law, and Sana and Dahyun say that it can go fuck itself.

 

Now, it’s not just how they appear on screen, but it’s much more about how comfortable they are around each other. At one point, when they both had to stay in set and the winds are getting colder, Sana would look at Dahyun worriedly.

 

Dahyun’s hands were tucked in under her armpits, holding herself together against the winds.

 

“Hey.” Sana whispers, holding both her hands out in front of her co-star. Dahyun just smiles widely between jittering teeth, then the Japanese girl raises both her brows for an invitation.

 

“What?” Dahyun laughs.

 

“Give your hands here.” Sana raises them both as Dahyun watched them.

 

There was a short quiet pause, as if things are being calculated silently. But Sana’s hands looked so warm despite the weather so Dahyun places both of hers and felt the welcoming sensations of skin against skin. It happens so quickly, though, when Sana brought Dahyun’s hands closer to her lips and breathed on them.

 

Dahyun never knew that hot breath can be so tingly that it brought shivers down her spine. It wasn’t about the cold this time.

 

“God, your hands are cold.” Sana breaths on them again and rubs them together to keep them warm. “You okay, baby?” a thin cloud escapes her lips.

 

“Y-y-yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” Dahyun giggles through still jittering teeth.

 

On Jeongyeon’s side, that would make a really good behind-the-scenes clip. If only it didn’t look too real. She takes a seat beside Mina, a place that she has been seeing herself in lately, and scanned the set for Dahyun’s manager. It wasn’t too hard, though, all she has to do is too look for the person with furrowed brows of displeasure.

 

If there’s one thing that Jeongyeon’s really good at, it’s smelling trouble from miles away (approximately 5 miles, to be more specific).

 

\---

 

For the past few weeks, Yuri and Yoona’s house became a wild nest of sets, cameras, adjusted scripts, catered food, and costumes. Technically, it’s not the house itself that was filled with all the other things, but their enormous yard instead. Depending on the required scene, the house is alive in the late hours of the night to the earliest days of the morning.

 

It didn’t bother the married couple, though. And even if the house is usually thrown into crazy disarray, Yuri would always find Yoona watching over everything in her comfy pajamas and a cup of tea.

 

She has always been a piece of art ever since they first met, and she never faded out even as they went through marriage. If anything, she became more beautiful, especially now that she’s watching one of her best works be put to life.

 

“You’re up early.” Yuri hugs Yoona from behind. Her wife has been spending an awful lot of time up in their small cozy dining area since it gives her a good view of what everyone has been working on.

 

“Good morning.” She kisses Yuri with her five o’clock breath, consisted of tea and bubblegum toothpaste. “Going to yoga?”

 

“Mhmm.” Yuri nods against Yoona’s cheek. “You want me to stay? You know that I’d do everything you say at this point.”

 

“That’s why I don’t like to impose anymore.” Yoona chuckles. “You know, I haven’t seen you out there. Sooyoung has been asking about when you’ll participate in the shoot.”

 

“Honey. I’m paying for all, so that practically makes me a producer.” Then she pulls her wife closer to her body, so Yoona rests her temple against Yuri’s cheek.

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Let’s put your name on the bill.”

 

“Wait, so you weren’t planning on putting my name on the end credits?”

 

“Yeah, so?” Yoona challenges.

 

“I’m resigning my post, Writer Im. I’m going back home to my beautiful wife who, by the way, is much nicer than you.”

 

“But I _am_ your wife.” She giggles.

 

“Then I’m fucked.”

 

“Well, you did asked me to marry you. So yeah. This is kinda your fault.” Yoona laughs with her usual cheeky smile. Yuri just tightened her hug and sighed. “Look at them.” Yoona points out to two girls in the middle of their yard. They were sitting, with Dahyun’s leg resting on Sana’s thighs. The Japanese was massaging Dahyun’s calves as they waited for the production to take in Sooyoung’s new instructions.

 

“Sooyoung told me that you have a fixation on those two.” Yuri says.

 

“Not a fixation, silly. You make me sound like a creep.” Yoona ruffles her wife’s hair. Maybe it’s how they punish each other for nonsensical thoughts. “Don’t they remind you of someone? Maybe be someone you knew several years back?”

 

“Young, bold, hopeful, and closeted?” Yuri laughs. “Sounds like us.”

 

“Fitting, right?” there was a solemn silence cutting through them both as they watched the two actresses whisper a thing or two to each other before laughing at their own private jokes. Once upon a time Yuri would lean close to Yoona and tell her a joke that they have been sharing ever since that certain morning. In a world that fought back against a kind of love that was not prescribed by the books, they were never afraid to fall in love with burning feelings and hopeful hearts.

 

“This is our story, after all.” Yoona turns to finally meet Yuri’s eyes. “A story of us, being acted out by people who remind you of us.” Yoona cups Yuri’s face with one hand and her wife leans closer to the touch. “I will not let you forget.”

 

“I won’t.” And Yuri closes her eyes. ”You know I won’t.”

 

“And that’s why I love loving you.” a soft kiss.

 

Yuri did not go to her morning yoga that day. She just sat by the dining room, watching whatever Yoona was watching. Just hanging out with her wife whose dreams are becoming a reality.

 

\---

 

As they burnt through the weeks, they also placed their own marks on finished scripts. Sooyoung and her yellow post it’s with post production notes. Yoona and her dates and her favorite parts of the specific shot. Mina and her timestamps, dates, and current costs. Sana and her check marks and future notes (with Dahyun’s scribbles of her own commentaries). And Dahyun and her green strips of post it’s (with Sana’s random notes about whichever they discussed that day) and some notes to herself on how to improve.

 

Along with these signatures were warnings that the half folded pages are being finished, one part after the other. Like the impending season finale that no one wants to talk about.

 

Dahyun flipped through her script and counted through the remaining parts of the movie. She scanned them quickly, looking for parts, or notes, or anything. No one knows. But at this point she was quickly reading through everything.

 

“Alright!” Sooyoung called out. The bed was set, the lights were on, and the cameras were rolling. On the corner, two girls were watching towards the people clearing out the set. On their hands were rolled scripts with one of them folded in half.

 

There’s no real reason to be nervous at this point but Sana found herself a bit tensed. They’ve done this scene several times at this point but somehow it felt different when she realized that they’re doing it in front of everyone else.

 

It was then when she felt a warm hand squeezing hers.

 

“Hey.” Dahyun whispers. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Sana nods reluctantly.

 

“Let’s do it the way you taught me how.”

 

“Like?”

 

“Let’s do it as us. No Asami. No Aera.” Dahyun smiles. “Let’s do it as if we’re not doing scripts.”

 

And so when Sooyoung cues in the clapper, Sana adheres to the script like how a planet adheres to the laws of gravity. Full conviction, She crawls on top of Dahyun with the Korean girl gripping lightly on the other girl’s collar. Their eyes meet and they both drink each other’s gazes as if it was an open invitation of unspoken promises. Dahyun gulps in the lump in throat and she feels their breaths turn heavy.

 

Jeongyeon leans closer from her seat and Mina kind of hid behind the manager as if something mighty will unfold.

 

“Sana.”

 

A whisper lingered and it was not in the script.

 

Then, as their lips melted into each other, their senses were flooded with the all too familiar sweetness that both of them seemed to not get enough of. Sana leans in for a deeper kiss and Dahyun arches her back to meet Sana halfway. It was then where Sana wraps her arm around the other girl’s slender waist. And as skin brushed on skin, Dahyun felt her body tingle in a way Sana has always made her feel. Tongues slither in and wrapped about, discovering mouths as if it has never done such thing before.

 

Yoona had this sly smile on her face which really didn’t sit well with the director (Only because it would seem that she’s going to be $500 poorer by the end of the day). The production crew had their jaws ajar because they’re watching these two actresses act this scene so comfortably, it looked so real.

 

Until Dahyun suddenly breaks off and laughs. Sana, caught unprepared, chases Dahyun’s kiss in surprise so her kiss ends up on the corner of Dahyun’s lips.

 

Sana’s eyes were wide in surprise while Dahyun’s eyes turned into happy upside down crescents.

 

“What the fuck is happening?” Sana says in nervous laugh. (But it would seem that everyone else is more nervous when there’s a unison of unclenching chests and audible exhales of released tension.)

 

“I’m so sorry! I bit my tongue!” she didn’t. “Oh my god! Sana, I’m so sorry!” Dahyun rubs her thumb over Sana’s cheek, quite amused on the confused face that was staring right back at her. “Director Choi, can we do it from the top?”

 

“Well, there’s no other point to start with but the top.” She claps her hands once to signal the people to get ready for another try.

 

It was then where Dahyun pulls Sana closer by the collar and whispered. “I messed up the scene, technically. So that means I owe you a date, right?” There was an unmistakable sly smile on the lips that Sana just kissed.

 

“You little minx!”

 

“Just as long as I get to kiss you again in front of all of them, I guess?” Dahyun winks as she pushes Sana gently off her. Sana just rolls her eyes playfully and shakes her head as she slowly crawls off from the bed.

 

When Sooyoung called out “Action!” the scene unfolded again with a few more adlibs to make it more intense. There’s one point where Sana interlaces her fingers with Dahyun as she held the other girl’s hand over her head. In full surrender, Dahyun takes in the kiss and relishes in it like it was their first time doing it.

 

Jeongyeon had to look away this time then she quickly tapped in some numbers on her phone.

 

“Jeongyeon? What’s up?”

 

“Hi, yeah. I just have a few questions.” Jeongyeon watched everyone recover from the set, watching Sooyoung talk to Yoona in obvious satisfaction. In their eyes, these are two actresses doing a really great job for their craft, but for Jeongyeon, it’s a matter of what they do in between. Sana helps Dahyun get up from the bed, and she pulls her close that the Korean actress practically collides into the inside spaces of Sana. They both laugh at this, then Dahyun wipes off her traces from the corner of Sana lips with her thumb.

 

“About what?”

 

“Risk management.”

 

Jeongyeon is a good manager because there’s one thing that she’s really good at: Foresight. (It’s actually smelling trouble from miles away reworded into a simpler term.)

 

\---

 

The thing about practices is that it creates habits. Dahyun remembered that line during middle school because there was a saying plastered against the ceiling beam that goes, “Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it makes permanent.” Dahyun didn’t know what it meant until she saw herself giving Sana chaste kisses before saying their goodbyes for the day.

 

And if hanging out with Sana is an Olympic event, Dahyun’s practices would’ve made her the undisputed winner of the gold. It started off as bedroom rendezvous until it spilled into their usual routines during film shoots. They’re together at the waking hours (if they slept at all) and the longest nights (when everything is just too difficult). On these days, they count on each other to keep their spirits up while they watch each other call on their parents who diligently check on them.

 

“Yeah, we’re just finishing up for the day.” Sana presses her phone against her ear. “Uh, yeah. Dahyun?” then she stares into the set of pretty eyes that were expectantly looking back at hers. “Yes. She’s great! She’s very talented and she’s really cute.” Sana says all those words (the last words turning into a whisper like it was a secret) without breaking eye contact that Dahyun had to stop herself from smiling too much.

 

Until Sana turns it into a banter.

 

“I have to say all of those things because she’s right here with me. She’s looking right at me.”

 

“Hey!” Dahyun lands a soft punch on Sana’s shoulder. “That’s mean!”

 

In between both their laughters and Sana’s failed attempts to defend herself, the Japanese pressed her phone against Dahyun’s ear. “My mom wants to talk to you.” she laughs.

 

“Hello? Oh, okay. One moment.” Dahyun pulls the phone off her ear and pressed the speaker button. Sana just watched in curious confusion until her mom said something about her getting sick of Sana saying Dahyun is this, Dahyun is that, Dahyun is great at this, and Dahyun is - a phone get snatched and fingers finds red button in panic.

 

“Oh my god! Did you just hang up on your mom?!” Dahyun covered her lips in an amused surprise. This will be a good bullet to shoot Sana with.

 

“I didn’t mean to!” Sana dials anyways. “Mom! Why would you have to do that! No! I didn’t do it on purpose. It was your fault!”  

 

Then Dahyun had to stop herself from pinching Sana’s cheeks because they were burning in all shades of light red.

 

They also usually end up sleeping together. And before anyone else go on and get ahead of themselves (which by the way is a typical move for a certain manager with three names), together meant beside each other. Okay, maybe there are warm hugs. Fine, maybe there’s spooning, too. But it’s all wholesome fun to beat the autumn winds that are slowly lulling into winter.

 

So seeing Sana roll on her side to get a better position is something that Dahyun grew fondly accustomed with. Several weeks back, she could still remember Sana being rudely awakened by the fact that she slept in this room and not her own. But now, seeing her sleep beside her comfortably made Dahyun much more troubled with specific thoughts.

 

If there’s one thing that she learned working with the Japanese actress, it’s the fact that it’s difficult not to love her. Or like her, since ‘love’ scares the heck out of people to the point that it can be the best kind of Halloween costume. For one, Sana’s smart. She’s not like some of the actors and actresses who only knew how to look cute. She thinks fast and she shares her knowledge in a way that’s not braggy. Or superior. Or obnoxious. She’s very talented but she has always respected the passion to her craft. There’s no argument about how pretty she is, or if she’s hella charming. Disputing that fact is like saying that Newton’s Laws are fanfictions at most (Sana is deadly passionate about this). And to top it all off, she’s attentive, grounded, and caring.

 

It was obvious on how she treated Jeongyeon. Sure, they banter a lot, but Sana has always respected her manager. Then, whenever the situation calls for it, Sana always puts Dahyun first. Dahyun will always be the first to choose the comfier chair. Then when Sana distributes the utensils, it’s always Dahyun’s that comes first. It’s always Dahyun’s glass that comes first. It’s always Dahyun’s lettuce wraps that Sana makes first. Then whenever Sana gets off to get some drinks, it would be Dahyun who she’d ask first: “What do you want me to get you?” Dahyun gets to order first. Dahyun gets to shower first. And to whichever side she wants to sleep on, Dahyun gets to pick first.

 

Anyone would kill to get this kind of attention from the Minatozaki Sana. But not Dahyun. She might not show it but bit by bit, she is finding it hard to make peace with this thought. But it’s just so good to be in the receiving end of all that Sana is. It’s just so good to be lying beside her, especially when she rolls on her side and their noses almost touch. It’s just so good whenever Sana doesn’t flinch whenever she kisses her (and Dahyun swears that Sana kisses back sometimes). It’s just so good that she could feel all of these emotions without pretending that she prefers guys over girls.

 

Everything is just so good. Sana is just too good.

 

And like all good things, it’s purchased with too high of a cost. Especially when you bought it in the wrong way and at the wrong time. Like a box of Nerds when all you can afford is a lollipop.

 

\---

 

“Dahyun.” her manager sighs. “I have been telling you. This was a bad idea, and it’s still very much is! I saw you in that shoot. I watched you. That was different!”

 

“Nothing’s different.” Dahyun avoids the eyes and looks down on her script. There was nothing particularly interesting about it. She just needs something to focus her attention on instead of this conversation.

 

“You never mess up a kissing scene. I have a good reason to believe that you did that on purpose.”

 

“I did not!” Dahyun answers quickly, with an obvious amount of guilt. But she will not let it show. “Why can’t it be because I just - I don’t know? Maybe I just messed up!”

 

“Dahyun. Be honest with me. Do you have feelings for her?” the question was cold, and it was sharp. And it cut through Dahyun like hot knife through butter. Her heart clenches and her verve rattles a bit.

 

“Manager Chun,” her voice sounded sure, but she can’t say the same to her heart. “I really have to go to the shoot.” Dahyun closes her script before quickly heading out. She didn’t even notice that her manager dialled in a number on her phone.

 

\---

 

Jeongyeon scrolls through her phone’s camera roll to check on the different pictures that she took for the past couple of weeks. She doesn’t know what she’s looking for exactly but she thinks that she needed to do this so she could finally confirm her hunch. It’s a good thing that the Kwon residence is inaccessible to paparazzis even if they tried to. Yuri actually shot down a drone this morning with a paintball rifle. It happened too fast: Her calling out who owns the thing, and her taking a picture of it to prove that it’s over her land.

 

It would’ve been a PR field day to whoever owned that poor thing. And it’s a good thing that Dahyun and Sana were inside when it happened.

 

Speaking of Dahyun and Sana, and Jeongyeon’s camera roll -

 

“Are you always this quiet?” Mina didn’t even bother to look up from her laptop but still she expected the short haired girl opposite her to humor her with an answer. “I never took you for a quiet type.”

 

“You never took me for anything, except as your trusty chaperone whenever you drink.” and Jeongyeon does not look up from her phone either. So it was just a fitting reaction when her head flips up and her phone falls down on the table. “Ow! Hey, that actually hurts!”

 

“What the hell does a kick supposed to feel like for you?” Mina shrugs and goes on to look at whatever on the phone. It’s not something new, to be honest. A lot of them are behind-the-scenes pictures of Sana and Dahyun. Some of them are taken at dinner, or breakfast, or whenever they have breaks. Most were just pictures of Sana and Jeongyeon fooling around. Some are pictures of her sleeping on a chair, or while in car, or when she’s sleeping standing up.

 

Wait. Why is Mina looking at pictures of Mina on Jeongyeon’s phone? And why is-

 

“For a drunk person, you kick hard.” Jeongyeon nurses her shin as she picks her phone up from the table. Mina is quite sure that Jeongyeon was oblivious when Mina saw her own face on Jeongyeon’s phone.

 

“Why do-”

 

“I have a ques- Oh, you go first.” Jeongyeon insists when she realized that she had cut Mina off.

 

“No, I was just saying, why are you such a wuss?” she covers her lips with a balled fist, hoping that she has masked her sudden nervousness.

 

“Your breath smells like puke.” Jeongyeon slouches down on the chair and swipes about. “Ow! Why do you keep on hurting me!” it’s the shoulder this time. And the manager swears that if she pulls another of Mina’s pigtails, her face would be in grave danger. “I’m kidding! Your breath smells like mint all the time and you look adorable when you act tough- Hey!” she raises her hand up when Mina was about to smack her again.

 

“What was your question?” Mina retracts her arms and she hopes that her smile isn’t too obvious.

 

“It’s a bit personal.” Jeongyeon lowers her arm down.

 

“I mean, you did hold my hair when I barfed once upon a time. I guess we’re on that level now.” then Mina sinks down into her chair once more.

 

“You have a point.” the manager points at her. “I don’t know what specifically, but you have a point.” Mina just shrugs at this, quite satisfied.

 

“So what’s your question?” the producer asks.

 

“Okay, so how do you know if people like-like each other. Like, you watch a couple and you don’t know that they are actually a couple. How can you tell that they’re a couple?” Jeongyeon mumbles on.

 

“Well,” Mina tried to get past Jeongyeon’s set of overused words. “They’re a couple so..”

 

“No!”

 

“What? You literally just said it! You said I watched a couple.” the producer argues.

 

“Okay, fine! You watched two people. Happy?”

 

“Very. Semantics is a matter of black and white. Or gray, y’know. You should try it sometime.” Mina loosely crosses her arms under her chest and looks up to the ceiling for answers. Just like what normal humans (especially students) do. “I’d say, it’s about the little things in between.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jeongyeon takes a peek over her phone, just taking on the view where the sunlight gently touches on Mina’s face.

 

“It’s not about how they hold hands or how they kiss in public. It’s about how they look at each other’s eyes like their dreams are made of it.”

 

“Oh, wow.” and Jeongyeon has a ‘WTF’ written all over her face.

 

“Shush!” Mina raises a finger before sinking back in her chair once more. “You’ll know when you see it. Ms. Yuri and Ms. Yoona do that all the time and you can compare it with how Ms. Yoona looks at Director Choi.”

 

“Okay, fine. What else?”

 

“Little things, Jeongie-Jeongyoo-Jeongyeon. How they take care of each other. Conversations that only they can understand. And the extent of their mundanity.” Mina finally gets back on her laptop as she continued to explain.

 

“Mundanity?” the manager raises a brow.

 

“Mundanity.” Mina clarifies as if Jeongyeon misses the obvious point. “When you talk about toothpaste, taxes, or how your day was, that’s a sign of intimate comfort.” then she began to pick up her laptop and clear the table of her things. “Maybe you should try that sometime as well. Instead of taking pictures of me when I’m sleeping.”

 

Jeongyeon head snaps back up and found herself staring into Mina’s brown eyes. Jeongyeon’s eyes were saying ‘Wait! Wait! I can explain!’ while Mina’s eyes sounded like ‘Be more subtle next time.’

 

At this point, as much as Mina’s words made perfect sense, it was not seeping into Jeongyeon’s head. Maybe later on. Because right now, Mina is smiling at her like she caught her doing something that she shouldn’t and now, Jeongyeon is too stunned to explain.

 

“Are you always this quiet?” Mina’s lips curves up into a sly smile before she turns and sashays away. “Stop being a perv, Yoo Jeongyeon!” Mina was not looking but she was waving her hand up in the air, quite sure that the manager got the message.

 

\---

 

Science, in the most contemporary sense, has always rested its head on a foundation of observations.

 

Sir Isaac Newton PRS/FRS established the laws of gravity on the sight of a falling apple (Do not trust anyone who tells you that it fell on his head). He wondered why the fruit fell down in a straight line and always towards the ground. On the other hand, Jeongyeon will be establishing her own version through sheer assumption and loosely gathered notes.

 

Enter - The Law of Gravitation. The Two point Oh Version. Much more exciting than the original because it’s not between heavenly bodies, but between average bodies. Like, human bodies.

 

And the best thing about this one is you don’t have to think about the part where some force is directly proportional to the product of some two masses of something and that they're inversely proportional to the square of the distance between their centers. And maybe two cups of sugar and a dash of vanilla.

All Jeongyeon has to think about is the fact on how do Sana and Dahyun instinctively gravitate towards each other given that their centers did not intersect at any time during this day. That somehow, by some unspoken agreement, they’ll be meeting and eating together at this time because here’s Sana offering a seat to Dahyun which the Korean actress gladly obliges. Then, she pats down on the chair beside her and pulls Sana down by the wrist.

 

At the same moment, Yuri arrives at the head of the table, prompting Yoona to look up and smile. Then, just like how Sana and Dahyun did it, Yoona pulls on Yuri’s wrist as an unspoken code for the other to take a seat.

 

Newton’s PRS/FRS Law of Gravitation, as Sana tells it, is universal. And universal things can be compared to its universal counterparts. So, Jeongyeon slouches down on her chair and began her mission of laying the foundations of her theories.

 

Inquiry: What the hell is up with Minatozaki Sana and Kim Dahyun?

 

A certain Robert Hooke FRS contested Newton’s claims, saying that it was plagiarism. Jeongyeon didn’t want any of that copyright infringement crap so she chooses the most eligible accomplice.

 

“First is the way they look at each other, right?” Jeongyeon leans to the side and whispers to Mina. At the same time, Mina sucks her lips as the manager’s warm breath touched the corner of her ear.

 

“Like their dreams are made inside of them.” the producer affirms without glancing.

 

Yoona was telling something to Sooyoung and she would glance in and out of the conversation. But when Yuri leans in and tells her that she’s taking in too much to drink, Yoona locks her gaze inside Yuri’s eyes and promises her that this will be the last beer that she’d drink for the night. Yuri would bargain of course, but her eyes remained in Yoona’s, and Yoona’s eyes remained on Yuri’s.

 

Jeongyeon laughs with the group. Most probably it’s Nana again and her crazy stories. This time, it’s how she got out from an altercation with just a spoonful of Spanish. (Apparently, she said ‘The cartel will hear about this.’ It’s a line in Narcos. Nana haven’t seen an episode of Narcos. Someone just said it and she thought is sounded cool.) But behind her laughter, she watched the couple - or the two people - in front of her.

 

Sana whispers something in Dahyun’s ear, and so she turns to Sana. With their noses almost touching, it’s quite impossible to see the entirety of a person. It’s something that didn’t really bothered the both of them because Sana is obviously lost in Dahyun’s eyes and Dahyun can literally say the same. The only time they broke off was when Dahyun’s eyes fluttered very briefly down on Sana’s lips. Then, it’s back with how they hunted stars inside each other’s eyes.

 

That’s a 1-0.

 

But surely, nothing’s going on here. Right?

 

Yuri stands up and reaches to the center of the table to get a strip of meat. She cuts them up into smaller pieces over her plate, then she took some sesame oil and drizzled it over the meat. Jeongyeon thought that Yuri must’ve been so tired that she had to eat her fill, but she could only follow the plate when it landed right in front of Yoona.

 

“Honey, sesame oil?”

 

“I’ve already put some.” Yuri smiles. “Do you want anything else?” she asks. Then Yoona cranes her neck and looks for a pair of chopsticks. But before she could even ask, Yuri placed hers on her wife’s spot at the table and whispered. “You can use mine. I’ll get a pair inside.”

 

Mina mentioned something about taking care of each other, and this is a very obvious reference. So, she turns to Dahyun who’s having a difficult time opening her can of beer. So, Sana takes it from her and opens it. She also gets to laugh at whatever Nana said, as if taking care of Dahyun is purely instinctive at this point. She even took a tissue and wiped the lips of the can.

 

That’s a 2-0.

 

“Oh come on.” she mumbles.

 

“What is it?” Mina leans towards her.

 

“Nothing. Hey, what was the third thing again?” Jeongyeon turns to whisper again.

 

“Mundanity.” the producer nods. “Mundanity is key.”

 

And so, Jeongyeon sinks back into her chair and tuned her ears into whatever Yuri and Yoona was talking about.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mina asks.

 

“Yeah, I’m super good.” she isn’t. “This is fun.” No, it’s not when it’s already 2-0 in favor of her theories.

 

“Alrightie.” Mina takes a shot of soju and then she goes back to the conversation.

 

At the head of the table, when Yoona’s laughter subsided, she leans towards Yuri and tells her about the soap that she got from the store the other day. She says it smells like lavender and that it sticks to the skin for hours. She even pressed her wrist against Yuri’s nose and her wife just nodded in agreement. A fucking soap. They’re talking about a fucking soap.

 

So surely, Jeongyeon knew that Sana’s thoughts were never really mundane. It’s about science, maybe some politics. Art and cinematography, even. The most mundane thing that they talked about is crabs and lobsters. Or if any of them can eat jjajjangmyun without kimchi (see: very difficult). And if Sana has this crush on Dahyun, she’d surely impress her with how conversational she is.

 

This is the quick thinking Minatozaki Sana, after all. And Jeongyeon thinks that it will be a 2-1.

 

She watched as Sana pressed her ear closer to Dahyun’s lips, then the Korean actress started a conversation. Sana nods and smiles. Maybe it’s something interesting. Maybe it’s something engaging, like the recent Korean Summit, or their preferences in pasta. Maybe it’s about Star Wars. Maybe it’s about anything else other than the weather, or taxes, or god forbid - toothpaste.

 

Maybe Jeongyeon is just imagining things, so she tunes into the couple’s (see: two people) conversation and listened to what Sana had to say.

 

Sana carefully leans and whispers, “My toothpaste last night tasted weird.”

 

Then, the cutlery rattled and clinked as a hand slammed on the table.

 

Jeongyeon quickly retracts her hand and looks at Mina accusingly.

 

“Ow! My knee!” she laughs. “Why do you keep on hurting me today?” then she proceeded on explaining that it was actually her knee that hit the underside of the table, so suddenly that the surface shook a bit. Then comes the teasing of who’s drunk and who’s not, and Mina’s furrowed brows as if asking: “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Jeongyeon squints her eyes and nods quickly. “Yeah.”

 

\---

 

It was already snowing when Sooyoung meets with the entire cast and crew. Judging by how they crunched through the production, the director is quite satisfied about their pace.

 

Just like always, she half sits on the corner of a table with everyone else surrounding her.

 

“We’re about to wrap up with the last scene today and good thing the weather’s cooperating with us. But before I give my instructions to everyone, let me just take this opportunity to say thank you for your hard work.” she rolls her script. “The people who formed the nucleus of the production went all in with this one. Needless to say, Yoona kinda owe us our life savings at this point but she did promise that we’re always welcome in this place should our mortgages flip for the worse. She didn’t specify where we’d sleep, or if she’s going to pay us for the hard labor but we’ll see how that goes in the days to come.”

 

Everyone laughs, but quickly subsides when Sooyoung looked down in silence.

 

“But kidding aside, this movie is our friend’s dream turning into a reality. The sheer work and heart that was placed on this was already incomprehensible. The investment was already swelling even before any of us in this room came in. So, for a fitting pep talk for this morning, I’d like to call on the person who placed us all here in the first place. Im Yoona, get your thin ass over here.”

 

“Wow. Because your ass is fuller right? Call me that one again when your ass ain’t like a fucking lamp post.” Yoona teases back as she wrapped her blanket tighter around her chest. The laughters lulled down soon after and everyone turned to the woman standing in front. Yoona just kinda looked at everyone in the eyes and nodded. Taking in as much of every person that worked hard to make all of this possible. She breaths in and smiles again, before she starts, “Asami walks slowly towards the girl that she thought existed only in her dreams. A dream where in she felt that it was free for her to love anyone at anytime, without the fear of anything or anyone. No one could really blame her now if her hands are shaking and if her feet are heavier than usual. There’s a bulge in her pocket. A small square box that contained everything that she is and everything that she will be. It contained a promise. It contained hope. It contained the pain and the sorrow.” she sighs. “And most of all, it contained love.”

 

Under the blanket that spanned both their pairs of legs, Dahyun’s hand carefully snaked towards where her and Sana’s thighs meet. Her hand stops as her pinky presses lightly onto skin. And, considering how warm it was, Dahyun knew that it wasn’t hers. Sana glances to her direction and gives her a warm smile.

 

“That’s how this last scene would go, and we are about to shoot that last scene. It’s quite funny because I once thought that marriage is the paramount of all love stories.” Yoona continues. “That everything culminates in this single event where we feel like we’ve conquered all. It’s the climax. It’s the end of the show. It’s the assumption that everyone else lived happily ever after. Then you’ll wake up in the first night after the honeymoon and you’ll realize that it’s not the end of anything. And I think this is the great part about all of this. That as much as we want to just close the book and move on to another story, we find ourselves writing along to make this story a bit longer. Bit by bit. Day by day. And this is the one thing that I’d like everyone here to take home with them. Nothing ends. The bond that we made here will never end. We will leave next week to move on from our lives here but we will still live out to write more stories of such things. Then we’ll tell stories of such things, and we’ll dream so more of stories of such things. Then maybe, just maybe, when all of us have made our stories a bit longer everyday, we’ll all look back and see how far we have come from this point.

 

Then, when that time comes, we will be left with only one thing to do.” Yoona takes a deep breath and looks for Yuri’s eyes at the back of the crowd. “We will never stop loving.”

 

Everyone applauded. A few sad and happy cheers echoed out, and everyone was quite ready to finish this movie. But away from everyone’s prying eyes, two palms were pressed against each other with their fingers filling up the spaces of in betweens. Finishing this movie in winter will not be easy, but right now, Sana realized that keeping her heart from exploding with feelings is way more difficult.

 

\---

 

The last day was unceremonial at best, but Yoona wanted to keep it that way. Half of the equipment were already trucked out before the winter gets a bit worse than how it was when they shot the last scene. Sana remembered that she had to rub Dahyun’s shoulders just to keep her warm in between takes and that she felt she had consumed a total of four cups of coffee just to warm herself up.

 

So it wasn’t surprising when Jeongyeon throws her hands up in the air and lets out a growl more than a sigh. Everyone, or at least the handful of people who’re left after yesterday’s “evacuation” (Jeongyeon’s term), looked at the manager’s direction.

 

“This is it guys. It’s the end.” she drops her hands and sinks into her chair. Dahyun and Sana furrows their brows while Mina just kinda of chuckled at the manager’s obvious over reaction.

 

“Okay, let me guess. I’ll take end of The World Scenarios for $500!” Sana raises her hand. “What is - they cancelled Ru Paul’s Drag Race?”

 

“No! I’m gonna cancel anyone who’s cancelling Ru Paul’s Drag Race!” Jeongyeon contorts her face in disgust.

 

“Oh! Oh! Steal!” Dahyun slams her hand on an imaginary buzzer. “What is - scientific proof that coffee is not a meal substitute!”

 

“That’s a long ass answer, and actually a legit reason to panic, but no.” the manager quickly points a finger to which Dahyun pouts and deflates.

 

“What is -” Mina speaks without looking up. “Star Trek is better than Star-?” her answer was soft and unsure.

 

“Take that back!” Jeongyeon and Sana says at the same time, and it left Mina holding her hands up in the air. Dahyun looks at Mina and shakes her head really really slowly.

 

“Okay! Jeez! McChill! I didn’t mean it.” Mina calms down together with the two girls and continued, “What is - all the flights today are cancelled.”

 

There was a short silence, until Jeongyeon actually takes out her wallet and pushes a total of $10 dollars towards Mina.

 

“There’s actual money involved in this?!” Sana stands up and points her finger accusingly at her manager as if she was cheated. And as if she doesn’t earn money even while sleeping. “I would’ve been $10 richer if I took that one seriously and you know that!”

 

\---

 

And so, they all find themselves stranded for the night. Good thing about the sudden closure of the airport was the fact that it’s easy to haggle another day to stay in the neighboring complex - the house that Sana has lived in for the past couple of months.

 

Fogged glasses and steamy air, Sana steps out from the bathroom as she rubbed the towel against the side of her hair. Hot showers are perfect for winter nights even if it’s not as warm as being under the covers together with a certain hazel haired girl.

 

It’s almost like a pattern at this point. Them separating for a couple of hours in the day and whenever they go on their free times, they find themselves with their thoughts somehow being invaded by each other. Who could blame Sana, though? When Dahyun snuggles close to her whenever she tries to steal a few minutes more of sleep. Or when she leans close and her lips brush ticklishly on the skin beside Sana’s ear. Not to mention the time that they held hands under the covers.

 

Then, as if her thoughts conjured the very presence of Dahyun, her phone bleeps and a message appears on the notifications.

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

My hot shower isn’t working. :(

Can I take a bath in yours?

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Of course! :) I just finished.

Come over!

 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

Aww, drats. I was kinda hoping that we’d do it together. :(

 

Trust Dahyun to keep up with this kind of banter and Sana losing her shit with these kinds of lines. She has told Dahyun several times before that she was being pretty mean whenever she does this for fun. Dahyun claims that Sana looks cute whenever she’s frustrated but Japanese doesn’t do too well with jokes that she thinks are half meant.

 

Sana shuts her eyes for a couple of seconds, thinking of a way to get back at her once and for all .

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Come over and maybe we can be wet together. ;)

 

Two can play this game, and with the looming return their realities back in Seoul, Sana thought she could risk a few lines.

 

In the other house, Dahyun stops right in front of her door and bites her lip as she read on the message. She squints her eyes in the darkness, trying to take in what Sana just said. Her Japanese co-star always flinch in this kind of conversation, so it’s now Dahyun’s turn to overthink.

 

Did Sana just invited her to-

  
  


**[Kim Dahyun]:**

I’ll swing by then maybe we can do something.

Just to keep us warm. You know?

 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Can you just come quickly?

 

Sana’s reply came in fast. Like there was some kind of urgency and frustration. Or maybe it’s Dahyun overthinking things, especially on how winter nights such as these could make one feel things.

 

As she went out of the door, her haywire of thoughts led her to a conclusion that fits right into the picture. That if the snows relent and the weather permits, this might be the last time that she sees Sana. So her pace quickens and her heartbeat drummed louder.

 

A quick knock and Sana was already at the door. Her hair was tied up into a messy bun, and she looked so comfy her oversized college shirt and boxers.

 

“Uhh.. Hi?” Sana rubs the back of her neck and smiles awkwardly. Okay, this is not how Dahyun pictured it in her head. There’s should be a part here where Sana pulls her in then maybe they’d share a kiss.

 

But the night is getting shorter and their realities are slowly crawling in. That she’s Dahyun and all of this is a temporary bliss that they’d soon forget. And that this is Sana, and eventually when they are absorbed back into their crazy worlds, they’d drift apart and not see each other again.

 

“Hi.” Dahyun lets out a shaky laugh. Blame it on Yoona and her unceremonious last days. Blame it on the suddenness and the cancelled flights. Blame it on that stupid hot shower that failed to work because now, Dahyun had to deal with the inevitable last moment. “It’s kinda cold here. Can I come in?”

 

“Oh! Yeah! Oh my god, I’m so sorry. You can go upstairs and use my bathroom.” Sana invites, and there’s a pang in Dahyun’s chest because she doesn’t sound like the Sana that she had messaged a few moments ago.

 

But what she doesn’t see is how Sana paces around the room as she waited for Dahyun to finish. It has been a good fifteen minutes now. Albert Einstein (Germans are not so fancy with titles) established the Theory of Relativity, and Physics Sana is screaming that this theory can go fuck itself with a cactus because this goddamn penance felt like an hour of getting lost in her own thoughts of what she should do.

 

So when she hears the door click as it turned (Only a click? Did Dahyun not lock the door? Why would she not lock-) she pathetically jumps into bed and pretended like she was reading something on her phone.

 

“Sorry, I took so long.” Dahyun says as she dried her hair. There was a tempting chance to answer that yes, she did take long, and yes, it was like a total of forty minutes that felt like a couple of hours. But Sana remained chill and waved for Dahyun to come to bed.

 

Dahyun takes the spot right beside Sana and sat on her calves, then the Japanese girl reaches up and dries Dahyun’s hair for her.

 

“It’s fine. What time are you flying out tomorrow?” Sana says, not noticing how Dahyun watched how her beautiful brown eyes moved.

 

“Manager Chun got me a 2:10 flight. You?” Somehow, the questions didn’t taste well in Dahyun mouth. It’s like confirming the end games.

 

“We got transferred to the 3:10 one. Just an hour after yours.” Sana reaches up to comb Dahyun’s hair with her own fingers as an awful silence began to set in. It almost felt like the childhood game of Seven Minutes in Heaven where this is not a closet, and they seemed confused on what to do with their hands or mouth.

 

“Are you sleeping now?” Dahyun tried to breakthrough.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Dahyun deflates.

 

“I mean,” Sana places her hand on Dahyun’s thigh and continues, “I’m trying to but I’m not sleepy yet. Maybe later?” she hopes that Dahyun gets the subtle clue that she wants to spend the last hours with her. Dahyun perks up to this and suggests.

 

“Wanna watch a movie?”

 

Of course Sana obliges. If it’s Dahyun who’s asking, she would always make sure that she can accommodate. Which, in other times, would be like Sana throwing herself in the fire without even thinking. Because now, it’s a different kind of relativity when Dahyun snuggles inside of Sana with her temple pressing against Sana’s hamster cheek. Sana should’ve been used to this kind of contact but for some reason, tonight is making her nervous.

 

Having Dahyun this close has always felt good, because damn, the scent of her vanilla hair and the warmth of her soft skin makes Sana forget the simplest skills.

 

23 Jump Street is such an easy film. It’s all about Korean Jesus and the church where they stayed in. Then, someone fucking someone’s daugther, or drugs, then Korean Jesus. Sana kept on thinking about that goddamned racially biased representation of Jesus because, holy shit Korean Jesus and everything that’s mighty, Dahyun’s finger is drawing ticklish circles on her inner thigh, and she could feel a part of herself getting really wet and in this cold winter night, her skin feels like it’s on fire.

 

“You okay?” it felt like Dahyun nibbles on Sana’s jaw so she nods calmly even if she’s so close in spontaneously combusting.

 

The credits roll and Sana let’s out the breath that she never knew she was holding. It’s a good thing that the lights are off because she can literally feel her cheeks burning up. As they fixed up and gathered their things, the fire inside her gets a bit tamed and now she feels sobered up from the fact that the night was really ending.

 

\---

  
  


Unceremonious.

 

Unceremonious is when Sana stood by her bedroom door and waited for Dahyun to finish packing up. Unceremonious is how she led her girl out of her bedroom and towards the main door. Unceremonious is the both of them waving goodbye. Waving.

 

Alternate universe Physics Sana would have made a cross dimension machine to slap the sense into actress Sana because all she could do is fucking wave as Dahyun walked slowly. So slow that the cicadas believed that she was doing this on purpose.

 

Unceremonious is the both of them shutting their doors behind them as they both sink into the darkness of the cold winter night. Their last night in this place. Their last night together.

 

Dahyun didn’t walk up to her room immediately. She just pressed her back against her main door and swiped up to Sana’s messages. She would be blatantly lying if she says that she’s okay with this or that she was not expecting anything else. Because Sana said those words, and held her hand, and shared kisses with her.

 

Against the other door, Sana stared into the small living room with her thoughts nagging her on what the hell happened back there. It was quite pathetic standing there in the dark as she weighed the could have beens and the chances of fiery crashes and her notes on probability.

 

Laws are truths, and no truth is more reliable than the Laws of Physics. Fuck the scripts, fuck the practices, and fuck the probabilities, because even without those, Sana and Dahyun would always find themselves at the mercy of gravitation.

 

And they always, always, always gravitate towards each other. Because even if they so desperately try and lie to themselves, the truth will always be this: Sana likes Dahyun, and Dahyun likes Sana. So bad.

 

A knock on the door, and Dahyun turns quickly. Deep brown eyes meet hers and the snow started falling behind Sana. Sana who made her feel loved. Sana who made her feel soft kisses. Sana who made her feel warm hugs. Sana who will not waste these last hours because this is all they’ve got and she’ll throw caution to wind even just for tonight.

 

Sana felt a tight grip around her wrist but she does not complain, and even if she felt being aggressively yanked and pulled into Dahyun’s house, she does not complain.

 

She only replies in the way she knew how at this point, cupping Dahyun’s face and pressing her lips against the most beautiful girl that she has ever seen in her life. The kisses were hurried but they tasted sweet like how it has always been. Dahyun pushes Sana against the wall. Frames and tables rattle, and still, Sana does not complain.

 

“The neighbors -” Sana moaned as Dahyun traced her kisses along Sana’s jaw.

 

“- won’t hear us.” then Dahyun slithers her wet tongue between Sana’s soft lips. “Upstairs.” she gasps for air. “Now.”

 

They stumbled and collided against rails and walls until they reached the bed that Sana was all too familiar with. But what she’s not familiar with is how the cold winds are pierced by the searing heat from Dahyun’s lips as it trailed down to her now bare stomach.

 

Sana gasps at how Dahyun’s hot tongue glides up her abs before ending up on her collarbone, because holy shit, even if they kissed and made out, all of this is knew. And all of this is driving her crazy.

 

“Dahyun.” there was a hint of thirst that Sana never knew was there until now, and Dahyun knew how much Sana hated her sly smirk. But she couldn’t help it because her name never sounded so so sexy until it rolled off from Sana’s wanting tongue. “Oh god.”

 

Dahyun whimpers a bit, caught unguarded when Sana squeezed her butt. Then, it’s all about their hand wandering over curves and parts that are too vulgar to be seen in public. Sana might be the wiz in science, but Dahyun makes sure that she gets the award for Geography. Her hands and fingers carefully traced Sana’s hills and gushing valleys, and she does so ever so craftily that Sana’s eyes roll back as she fought hard to breathe.

 

There was no rush in Dahyun’s movements. Dahyun’s kisses are hot and wet but she makes sure that it still tasted as if it dripped of honey. It leaves hot trails on Sana jaws where she’s weak, and on Sana’s neck where she’s weaker. And Sana can’t fight how good it feels so she lightly bunches the rich locks behind Dahyun’s head. Her fingers will smell like vanilla tomorrow morning but Dahyun can’t say the same as she gently pushed into Sana’s wetness.

 

Sana moans desperately for air because, damn it Korean Jesus, it turns out that acting isn’t Dahyun’s only skill. Dahyun rubs her bundle of nerves with her thumb as she carefully hooks her fingers inside. Sana bites her lips, then she began to slowly roll her hips to match the pace.

 

Dahyun feels Sana tighten around her fingers and she takes it as an invitation to please her more. She beats the pace faster which made Sana dig her nails into the smooth skin of Dahyun’s back. The pleasure is just too much that in between Sana’s labored breathing, she could only breathe out “Dahyun.” into the girl’s ear. Dahyun replies in the only way she knew how, by craftily using her fingers and sucking onto Sana’s perked nipples.

 

Inside her closed eyes, fireworks went off in different colors. It was as bold and as loud as the pounding of her heart, but none of it came close to how she felt when she released. Air was a necessity she almost forgot, and as her mind melted into a lustful haze, she only sees Dahyun. Dahyun and her star filled eyes, and her beautiful smile that would make you do anything just to see it everyday.

 

Sana hides her face behind the back of her hands because she knew that Dahyun knows what she had done. Her shyness didn’t last long though when she pushes Dahyun down the bed and parted Dahyun’s lips with her tongue.

 

In between sweet wet kisses, she whispers: “My turn.” and Dahyun could only bite her lips to the only warning that she would ever want to hear.

 

Sana left trails of kisses on her neck, then between her breast, then her toned abs, before looking up at Dahyun for the last time. Dahyun closes her eyes and braces herself, not really knowing that it wouldn’t be enough when Sana’s tongue laps on her core.

 

And god, her knees are weak. And god, she desperately bunches the covers because the pleasure is just too damn much. And god, her thoughts are turning into a buzzing haze because it just feels so good having Sana between her soft thighs. Sana’s tongue flickers onto Dahyun’s most sensitive spot and it was Dahyun’s turn to call out Sana’s name like it was a praise in a church that was made by two naked bodies.

 

Dahyun’s brain runs into a complete loop of “Sana, Sana, Sana.” until she forgoes the name that she grew to love over the past months. It was replaced by sweet sweet moans that echoed through the room because her nerves are electrified and her skin is on fire. Sana squeezes Dahyun’s soft thighs as her taste gush out and coats her tongue. Dahyun’s eyes roll back and her body arched up to surrender to the climax.

 

If this is how Sana would make her feel, then she fears that nothing would ever come close.

 

As the night deepend and making love was the only thing left to do, both of them descended into a thought that this is not some practice anymore. This is not some rendezvous where they play with each other. This is not a phase, not a game, and definitely not ‘nothing’,

 

It scared Dahyun the most, because she knew, in between sweet kisses, that this is something else entirely.

 

\---

 

**[Dahyun]:**

You promised me dinner.

Do not forget.

 

**[Sana]:**

Not gonna. Have a safe flight!

See you soon! :)

 

**[Dahyun]:**

I’m boarding now.

See you soon! Text me!  :* (Send?)

 

Dahyun pressed her phone against her lips and thought for a while. Then, she types on her phone again to delete the kiss emoji.

 

**[Dahyun]:**

See you soon! Text me! (Send?)

 

You know what? Fuck it.

 

**[Dahyun]:**

See you soon! Text me! :* IMY!

 

Jeongyeon just stared at Sana’s stupid smile. It was wide, it was beaming, it was like a promised candy to a baby. Things like these are natural. But somehow, for someone who authored the Laws of Universal Gravitation 2.0, she can’t help but feel a bit nervous.

 

Something tells her that she needs to talk to Sana really soon. But not now, because Mina is sleeping on her shoulder and she wouldn’t let Sana ruin this moment.

 

For now, the intercom blasts out, coming in as a rude warning of the realities that lie ahead.

 

“D5 1891 bound for Seoul is now boarding. All passengers please prepare your boarding passes and line up at Gate 5.”

 

\---

 

Dahyun sits comfortably in the business class. Looking out the window with her thoughts getting lost into the memories of last night. She bites her finger and smiles at her reflection against the glass. But in between the sweet memories, a thought kept on barging in.

 

In the other plane, Sana tucks her earbuds into her ears when she finally settles in her seat. With a quick look at her week’s schedule, she types on her phone to block off an entire evening. Japanese sounds perfect. After all, it has been a while.

 

Jeongyeon takes the shot of whiskey that was offered to Mina, staring at the producer with a raised brow. Mina smiles and punches Jeongyeon’s shoulder lightly before settling in her seat. She takes out a novel, which the manager thinks is such a Mina thing to do, while Jeongyeon opens her tab to check on Sana’s schedule.

 

“So,” Mina begins, her eyes fixed into her novel. “How’s your grand theory? The Laws of Universal Gravitation.”

 

*******

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope everyone’s doing well! Apologies, my peoples, this one took a bit longer than it should. Life and work and all. But we are here and we are still alive and I really do hope that you like this update.
> 
> Some questions!
> 
>  
> 
> Q: What’s your inspiration for this?
> 
> A: A lot of things. But mostly a local lesbian movie and the thought of how SongSong couple would’ve interacted behind the scenes.
> 
>  
> 
> Q: YoonYul or SaiDa?
> 
> A: That question is illegal. Do you want me to call the cops on you?
> 
>  
> 
> Super special thanks to our ever reliable beta: Jongdae’s Lover aka TKYBEE. Thank you for making sure that we do things right!
> 
> Stay tuned as we get onto the next chapter! Just like always, tell me what you think in the comments section below! And remember that there’s no such thing as too much SaiDa!


	4. Part 4: A Brief Study on Quantum Realities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In its most scientific form, date nights are rabbit holes. And rabbit holes fall far into patterns.

**A Brief Study on Quantum Realities**

**Part 4**

* * *

  
  


Sir Isaac Newton PRS/FRS is that guy who had nothing better to do on a Friday night.

 

He’s that guy in front of the class who goes out first so he could start on his homework early.

 

While his friends are in the pub, talking about girls and boys, or iPhones, or the newest installment of God of War, Isaac busied himself with devices that are bordering on witchcraft (TV remote was considered as witchcraft in 1881, so it was banned. Then it reemerged in 1963, when wicca became a fad) and so, with plenty of time and no people to hang out with, he said into one of his books: "You know what? Matter can be all shapes and sizes in different times, forming different 'worlds'." he says in air quotations. "That’s the math, folks! It does not contradict. Also, fuck you. Because gravity! That’s why!"

 

Okay, it’s not verbatim but the important ideas are there. And also, this is how a certain Professor Koyuki Kato explained the concept of theoretical mutliverses to Sana’s class. Sana was in her third year back then, and she remembers tapping her pen against the edge of her table, listening intently, while Professor Koyuki defended the friendless version of Newton. That is, until she touched on Quantum Realities, where she suddenly quoted an antiquated philosopher.

 

You know the great thing about thinking during the antiquated age? You get to be exalted just by pointing out the obvious things. Point out that the sun rises from the general eastern direction and everyone thinks you are the first Beyonce. To which, in this case, Greece’s first Beyonces were Plato and Protagoras.

 

“As Protagoras said: There is no one truth.” Professor Koyuki takes off her glasses and waves it around as she made her point,  “It’s formed by different perspectives, provided by different people. Everyone has their own realities. Everyone deals with their own challenges and their own situations. At this point, even if Ulf Grenander states that the physical world can be bound by mathematical patterns, our decisions remain as our own. Our decisions lead us to a predetermined reality of our choosing. It all boils down to what you do in _The Now_.”

 

The class pauses, quite disarmed on how their theoretical physics class went from a Stephen Hawking book to a Paulo Coelho. While some of them had skeptical thinking faces, one student (the one with the long raven hair, hamster cheeks, and pen-tapping habits) had wide eyes of awe.

 

“Have a great winter break, everybody.” the Professor says.

 

No wonder that phrase in the script sounded so god damn familiar. So just like Asami, with all her hopes and all of the feelings that she denied, Sana chooses the realities of The Now.

 

Realities. The shitty thing about this one is you have no choice but to deal with it.

 

\---

 

Daejang-do. It was the first day after the last day of the shoot. 8:13 AM. Winter.

 

The sun was already up and the clouds are sparsely floating in the sky. It was the kind of day where couples walk around with their hands swinging, or maybe in one’s pocket to keep them warm. It’s a kind of day where you go out and have coffee or visit places that you’ve been dying to see. The weather is perfect, and the day is good. All couples would agree to that.

 

But it’s not this couple _(see: two people)_. Because they know that the clear skies meant only one thing: It’s time for them to go home.

 

They were already awake for an hour already, but no one seemed too interested to get up and start the day. Naked under the covers, Dahyun rests her chin just above Sana’s naked breasts, staring at the girl who was too busy watching the clouds form and melt. Silence was never an enemy to Sana and Dahyun. They have reached that point where silence is respite. Where they are already satisfied with warm hugs and closeness.

 

Sana strokes Dahyun’s tousled bed hair, making her fingers smell like the vanilla fragrance that she has been craving for recently. It’s quite strange seeing Dahyun this way. They’ve slept together a couple of times before but seeing the hazel messy waves of hair, her glowing intimate nakedness, and her dream glazed eyes made Dahyun much more of an artwork than anything else. It makes her heart swell in the warmest ways.

 

If this is the kind of view that Sana would wake up to, then let her stay in this moment forever.

 

But the reality is, there are worlds that they need to get back to. Responsibilities to attend to, roles to fill in, and careers to build. And as much as Sana wanted to avoid the thought, she can’t help but think that this is all a cruel detour. But despite all that, there is a sense of promise when she feels Dahyun’s heartbeat matches hers. A quiet mutual understanding where they both hope that there’s something more to _this_.

 

To what _this_ is exactly, Sana doesn’t know.

 

“Dahyun.” she speaks softly, making the other girl melt into the sheer sound of Sana’s voice.

 

“Yes, baby?” Dahyun kisses a spot on the girl’s skin and nuzzles her nose inside Sana’s chest.

 

“I-I.. I..” Sana struggled to find the right beginnings because she wanted to end up with the right endings. “I..” she sighs, then she drops the I’s and restarts, “Is it okay if I see you back in Seoul? I mean, after all of this?”

 

Dahyun tucks her chin between Sana’s breasts as she let her gaze be lost into those beautiful brown eyes. It shines brighter now but Dahyun can’t tell if it’s because of the sunlight spilling in, or if it’s just her emotions making her see things. Or making her feel things.

 

But what she is sure of is one thing: If Sana is willing to jump into whatever _this_ is, why can’t she?

 

“Of course.” she giggles. “I owe you a date, after all. You know, for messing up our kissing scene.”

 

“Tch.” Sana chuckles and shakes her head. “Come here, you.” she pulls Dahyun closer to where her lips can reach her, with her vanilla scented tresses falling down on the side of her face. It starts with soft tender kisses with laughters in between. Then, it’s a repeat of last night all over again.

 

A 2:10 PM flight and a 3:10 PM flight. It’s just 8:21 AM. They have time to spare.

 

\---

 

Seoul, present day. 6:03 AM. Winter.

 

The sun peeks over the horizon but the thick clouds could only permit a dull haze over the city. It wasn’t the gloomy type of morning, or the dull kind, or the stormy one.

 

It’s just gray and lazy.

 

So it’s a bit surprising that someone is already awake at this ungodly hour. A silhouette to be exact. A silhouette that gets up and arches her back to make it easier for her to clasp her black lace bra. Then, she pulls up her tight jeans and carefully hopped towards the washroom. The light switch clicks, and it’s now easier for her to stare at her own reflection.

 

Moles on her face make a constellation. Or at least that’s how a certain someone imagined it. She angles her face in different directions to see traces of smudged left over makeup or traces of kisses from last night. She thinks of going bare today. She knew from last night that her face still looks pretty even if it’s bare.

 

After she brushes her teeth, she goes back and sits on the foot of the bed. She hears an audible sigh that was not hers. Rather, it came from the person, holding the covers over her chest.

 

“Are you always this quiet?” Mina finally asks the person on the bed. The one who has been watching her move ever since she woke up.

 

“Do you really have to go so soon?” Jeongyeon whines like a kid, and it only made it difficult for Mina to get into her wool dust pink turtleneck. But she did it anyway because she has to go anyway. She crawls up to Jeongyeon, cups her face with both hands and presses a sweet kiss on her forehead.

 

Jeongyeon’s hair always smell like lavender shampoo and Mina loves it.

 

“No, we both have to go soon.” Not letting go of the manager’s face, she nods her head towards the phone on the end table. It was buzzing, and glowing, and beeping. It was practically begging Jeongyeon to give it attention even if it knows that it cannot compete with the majesty that is Myoui Mina. “If I’m gonna bet, that would be your client, Minatozaki Sana.”

 

“Ugh.” Jeongyeon groans and her head drops back. “Why does Sana have to ruin everything?” she feels the weight shift, and suddenly, the winds are cold on her cheeks. Mina’s warmth is something else and it sucks because now she’s tying her hair in a neat ponytail, making her imminent exit much more convincing.

 

“Not gonna wear makeup today?” Jeongyeon hugs a pillow tight as she tried to stall Mina from getting to the door.

 

“Well, you told me I look good even without it.”

 

“Not wrong, though..” the manager laughs behind the pillow.

 

“Besides, it’s just 6 AM. No one’s gonna bother.” Mina snatches her socks from the carpeted floor (actually, she picks up one of her socks, and one of Jeongyeon’s). The producer’s reply made Jeongyeon perk up, so now she’s kneeling on the bed with only her underwear on.

 

“I mean, right?! No one is going to bother!” she negotiates. “So come back to bed.”

 

“Jeongyeon.” Mina smiles sadly, not really wanting to leave if she had the choice.

 

“Please?” Jeongyeon pouts.

 

“Damn.” Mina curses as she walks towards the manager. In one quick move, she cups Jeongyeon’s face once more and brought their lips together. It was a quick smooch on the lips, and now Jeongyeon wants more. But before she could take another, Mina breaks off all contact and pushes her down the bed. “Sometimes, I don’t know what to do with you. I’ll text you. Okay?”

 

“I make crazy pancakes!” Jeongyeon pressed on. “You’ll gonna regret it!”

 

“Next time.” Mina just flashes her beautiful gummy smile as she walked backwards slowly towards the door.

 

“Chocolate chip and blueberries.” the manager puts both hands together, practically advertising her domestic skills to make this beautiful girl stay a couple of hours more.

 

Don’t get Mina wrong. This is as difficult for her as it is for Jeongyeon. But the world will not stop for them, most especially work.

 

Speaking of work, Jeongyeon’s phone buzzes and light up again. Mina takes that as a sign to leave.

 

“You might want to get that. ” She gives Jeongyeon one last air-kiss before she disappears behind the door. Jeongyeon drops her shoulders and sighs as if it was the mountains themselves that are groaning. She believes that days like these are hard to come by, given the crazy schedules and the demand for work. But a part of her is thankful that they’ve stolen a moment like this.

 

The phone buzzes again. She finally reaches for it and presses the device against her ear.

 

“What could you possibly want at this hour, Sana?”

 

_“Whoa there! Why are you in devil manager mode today? Can’t have the best manager in the world stay in this kind of mood.”_

 

“Minatozaki Sana! I swear to god, if this is not important, I am going to kill you!” Jeongyeon buries her face into her pillow.

 

 _“So, yeah. About that..”_ Sana’s voice trailed then she began explaining.

 

“I. Am. Literally. Going. To kill you!” Jeongyeon screams to the phone.

  
  


\---

 

Death threats are usually expressed in cut out letters from magazines. Pasted on used paper and sent under the doorstep. But in Jeongyeon’s case, her threats are usually in the guise of pauses in between words for extra emphasis. It doesn’t deter Sana, though. Jeongyeon threatened Sana far too many times. Sana threatened Jeongyeon far too many times. But the death part never really comes (they both wish it comes on a Monday but it never did).

 

So it was actually surprising when Sana felt death for the first time. And it did not came from the hands of Jeongyeon. Death is clad in a floral button down blouse, tight jeans, white cardigans, and white NB 247’s. She wore a pair of lifestyle sneakers to finish off the look. Sana thinks that it was very Dahyun of her, and she also thinks that Dahyun looks so good tonight that it might kill her.

  
  


“Sorry, I’m late.” Dahyun frowns in guilt as she went in for a hug. Obviously, it made Sana forgive because she’s all smiles and thumping heartbeats.

 

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s only been like ten minutes tops.” Sana wraps her arms around Dahyun’s slender waist and it still surprises her on how Dahyun fits in perfectly inside of her. It would’ve been great if they didn’t meet in the back alley of the restaurant because that’s the price to pay for being lowkey while also being famous: They don’t get to use the front door.

 

“You hungry?” Sana lets Dahyun inside the door first (because Dahyun always comes first) and so her hand lands on the small of the Korean’s back.  

 

“Yeah! I was pretty hyped up when you told me where we’re eating. I’ve been dying to try this place out but I don’t have anyone to date.” Dahyun glances over her shoulder as they made through kitchen, on their way to their table.

 

“Aren’t you glad that I came along?” Sana says proudly and smugly. Dahyun turns to her and slaps Sana’s cheek lightly, only ending it with a quick pinch. Sana just crumples her nose to act cute, feeling all warm and fuzzy because of the fact that they can be this comfortable.

 

Soon enough, they found themselves sitting in a small Japanese themed open room, sharing food that Sana grew up with. Sana swore that her mom can do this better but she considers the food as good, nonetheless.

 

“Do you miss Japan?” Dahyun dabs a bit of wasabi on her sashimi. Sana pauses and nods.

 

“Always.” Sana puts a tempura on Dahyun’s plate, to which the other girl mouthed a quiet ‘thank you’.

 

“I lived here for quite some time now,” Sana continues, “but I always make sure that I go home during long breaks. The last thing that I’d want to happen is forgetting how my own house looks and feels like.”

 

“When’s the last time you went home?” Dahyun bites on the tip of her chopsticks and watched Sana.

 

“A month before we started shooting, I think. I was there for four days but it felt like two. I wish I could stay longer.” Sana takes a bite from the agedashi, “Do you go home to your parents often?”

 

“Well,” Dahyun nods, “Yeah. It’s easy to get to Gyeonggi-do compared to Osaka. It’s just that sometimes I don’t have the time to go. Plus, I just bought an apartment last year and I haven’t even got the time to put it all together. Living alone was my idea. I just didn’t expect it to be this tedious and..” her voice trails and breaks into a shy laughter. “Lonely.”

 

Sana smirks at one detail that Dahyun mentioned, and the other girl’s eye squinted in suspicion.

 

“How did you know that I’m from Osaka? Are you stalking me? Oh my god, you’re totally stalking me!” Sana laughs.

 

“No! I-I-” Dahyun stuttered and mumbled, making her look more guilty than she should. In her defense, she just read biographical articles, that lead to another article, and maybe her family information, or maybe her social networking sites. Okay, she might have stalked, but Dahyun thinks she just browsed. “I-I I did not!” she throws a shrimp’s head to Sana, which she dodged perfectly.

 

“Hey!” Sana surrenders in surprise. She doesn’t know if she’s going to be offended that Dahyun threw something at her or if she’d find it cute that Dahyun actually throws something when she’s embarrassed. Dahyun’s panic subsides in a subtle laughter and a feigned annoyance but they went back to their food shortly. “You know, if you want to really know these things about me, you can just ask. You know you can talk to me with things like that. And more.” the last part came as a whisper than a statement, but Dahyun catches it just the same. Her heart warms at this and all she could do is smile back.

 

“I’ll hold on to that.”

 

“You should.” Sana says as she pours Dahyun more beer. “But if you really feel lonely, you can come over to my place if you want.”

 

“Are you trying to get me to bed, Minatozaki Sana?”

 

“You did that to me once, so why can’t I?” Sana raised a brow to challenge, and all that Dahyun could do is look away and sigh from the checkmate.

 

“Good thing you’re super cute.” Dahyun shakes her head and sets aside the other shrimp head that she was poised to throw.

“Well, thank god that I’m super cute.” Sana winks as she took another mouthful of sushi, with a satisfied smile across her puffed cheeks. “So, you enjoyed stalking me?”

 

A small balled tissue lands squarely between Sana’s eyes. A sober reminder to her to keep the hard things away from Kim Dahyun.

 

But in the end, it’s a cozy date filled with casual talks, sweet talks, and everything in between. The food was good. Dahyun’s company - even more so. Her voice is sweet, like a Japanese tea cake that they had afterwards, and how the light bounced off her features was a sight that Sana doesn’t seem to grow tired of.

 

There was a certain promise of warm comfort whenever they’re together. It was a huge contrast from their busy schedules, established facades, and their seemingly publicly accessed lives. This is intimate, genuine, and easy. And Sana thinks if she and Dahyun could keep something like this for a long time.

 

“Where to next?” Dahyun says, clearly enjoying Sana’s company so much that she’s willing to stay up a little bit later than she should. Sana looked out from the alley and sees a couple of suspicious men with DSLRs standing on the other side of the street. Her brows furrow and her chin crumples.

 

The reality is this - there is a price to pay to date someone like a Kim Dahyun. And they must’ve seen her arrive before she made her way to the back alley of the restaurant.

 

Then, Sana feels a hand wrapping softly around her wrist.

 

“Hey.” Dahyun whispers. “I know a place away from prying eyes.”

 

Sana calls on her driver, which parked their van on the nearby corner. The girls jumped right in with all the giggles of the thrill. Dahyun gave the directions and soon enough they found themselves in another alley.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna murder you.” Dahyun quips.

 

“Oh my god! Are you going to rob me?!” Sana puts both hands over her mouth in a feigned surprise. They both laugh at this until they reached a very unassuming entrance. It’s a red steel door with a small white crescent moon in the middle. It leads to a normal staircase and up into somewhere that Sana can’t really guess.

 

There’s a sound of piano playing, and a bit of mild chatters that was coming from the room above. When they reached the landing, it just said The White Moon, in Korean.

 

“Welcome back, Miss Kim.” one of the black aproned servers opened the door for her. Sana just looked at Dahyun, but the other girl just smirked as they went inside. The place was gorgeous. The walls were lined with well polished wooden accents, and the small booths were covered in velvet upholstery. There was a wide selection of liquor by the bar where people in sharp suits and beautiful dresses congregate. The people are sparse, and most of them are leaving. And the best part about it is that they don’t seem to care who they were.

 

Until a woman comes out of the kitchen. She’s a bit short but her features are beautifully loud. She’s equally as pale as Dahyun, and her hair was also almost had the same shade of hazel.

 

“What the hell, kid? Who told you that you’re allowed here? You haven’t even finished your vegetables!” she walks over to Dahyun to flick her forehead, to which she cowered and rubbed with both hands. Sana just stared on how everything conspired, until Dahyun kicked the woman’s shin. “Hey!” the woman lunges forward to try and put Dahyun into a headlock, but the younger girl was quicker to step back and hold both her hands in between them.

 

“Putting a hand on me is a matter of national security! You know that!” Dahyun reasoned. The woman just stared at her, calculating the younger girl’s response before her lips curves up into a smile.

 

“You see? This is what sucks about our little tofu baby becoming a goddamn star.” she shakes her head and pulls in Dahyun into a hug. “To tell you, this is a very surprising visit.”

 

“How so?” Dahyun pulls her head back to take a good look at her sister, with her still holding on the woman’s waist.

 

“Dahyunnie,” she looks into the younger girl’s eyes. “You only come here when you’re stressed out. Unless this girl got you into trouble, then this visit would be totally normal.” the woman nods towards Sana, who just kind of shrinked at the sudden family interaction.

 

“Actually,” Dahyun’s voice suspiciously softens into a whisper. “She didn’t get me into trouble.” she glances over to Sana and goes back to her sister. “She is _the_ trouble.”

 

Sana’s jaw drops with an audible gasp. Dahyun and the woman laughs at this, then they broke off their contact so that they can be properly introduced.

 

“Sana, this is Kim Taeyeon,” Dahyun says as the woman takes a step closer to shake her hand. “She’s my older sister. Proprietor of this lovely establishment.”

 

“Minatozaki Sana.” she takes Taeyeon’s hand and bows deeply.

 

“And so I was told.” Taeyeon smiles in a way that she knows things other than Sana’s name itself. “Welcome to The White Moon.”

 

\---

 

There are certain similarities emerging between Jeongyeon and the genius that is Sir Isaac Newton PRS/FRS. So much so, that one can conjecture that Jeongyeon has been spending an awful lot of time on how the world works in the most physical aspects. Discovering how one can understand these ideas and put them into patterns and equations that can be predicated and replicated.

 

But alas, one can only conjecture (Especially that Jeongyeon is just staring at the microwave, being slowly tempted to heat something up using a metal bowl). Because the fact of the matter is, the only similarities that they have are their perspectives in gravitation and that they both don’t have anything better to do on a Friday night.

 

Jeongyeon likes it this way sometimes. Letting Sana go out for whatever personal reason, watching some shows on Netflix that had been waiting for months to be finished, microwaving some leftovers, waiting for the morning and searching the net if Sana got into trouble, and texting Mina about how her day went.

 

Okay, the last part shouldn’t be in there. Or at least that’s how Jeongyeon wants to keep it. Sana doesn’t have to know that whenever she leaves Jeongyeon alone for Dahyun, a certain producer keeps her company all throughout the stay. The manager drank her shots, carried her off the bed, shared her observations, and maybe had some nice talks in between.

 

Mina has been a constant break from everything, as Jeongyeon was stuck in work patterns and rigid schedules. Mina can say the same, though, and since they’re working (see: stuck) on the same industry, mixing work and pleasure would eventually bless the weary and tired souls.

 

So with a metal bowl in one hand and a microwavable container on the other, Jeongyeon stared at the open microwave. Good thing her phone buzzes and she breaks off her attention from the call of the void.

 

**[Just Mina]:**

Sorry for the late reply! Meeting’s finally done! Are you eating dinner?

 

**[JeongieJeongyooJeongyeon]:**

It’s all good. :)

Yep. Sana’s out and about so yay free time.

 

**[Just Mina]:**

Wanna try that wings place in Rocket Red’s?

Also, you told me you’ll teach me longboard.

 

**[JeongieJeongyooJeongyeon]:**

Yeah, sure! :)

Pick you up?

 

**[Just Mina]:**

Great! I was beginning to worry that you’d burn your house.

Like IDK microwave a metal bowl or smth

Swing by in 30!

 

Jeongyeon shoves the leftover spare ribs back inside her refrigerator and throws the metal bowl into the sink like it was a cursed object whispering to her some things. Mina might or might not have saved a life today but only Jeongyeon would know for sure.

 

They’d meet up at Mina’s office in Myeongdong where she was already waiting by the sidewalk. Mina has always been early and Jeongyeon doesn’t understand why (she is a firm believer of being fashionably late, except for client meetings). What she also doesn’t understand is how Mina can always look so god damn expensive even if she’s just wearing a pair of tight gray denim jeans, and a navy blue winter coat over her black turtleneck pullover. Damn, her sneakers are even Comme de Garcon, compared to her pair of white Vans Old Skool.

 

But to whatever wrapper Mina comes in, she’d always be this quiet dork who indulges Jeongyeon and her rather stupid ideas.

 

“Let’s just take out the wings and head to the skatepark.” Mina buckles her seatbelt.

 

“Mina,” Jeongyeon skillfully merges into the traffic. “Question.”

 

“Fire away.” Mina uncaps her bottled water and takes a swig.

 

“Is it okay to microwave a metal bowl?” Jeongyeon asked and Mina found it strange that the question sounded so like.. a question. So much so that her sudden gasp caught some of the beverage in the wrong pipe which resulted into heaves and coughs. “Oh my god, you alright?”

 

“Yoo Jeongyeon! You did what?!”

 

\---

 

“How is she so far?” Taeyeon asks the Japanese girl who has been sitting across her.

 

“She’s okay. I mean, we can be a bit stressed out from work and all but she’s handling herself pretty well, I think.” Sana answers promptly.

 

“Dahyun has always been a handful.” Taeyeon points at her sister at the bar who was choosing on which drinks to buy. Meanwhile Sana and Taeyeon made themselves comfortable inside one of the corner booths. “Don’t get me wrong, she has a good heart. It’s just that sometimes, she doesn’t really think things through. Gets her into trouble most of the time.”

 

Sana just nods, not really knowing how to react. Taeyeon seemed to be getting on to something but was being vaguely trailing around it. When she catches Sana’s awkward silence, Taeyeon looks down at her own drink and smiles.

 

“I actually told her not to pursue her acting career because back then, she just got into sophomore year in college. Sometimes, there are no practical middle grounds for her and I’m worried that she might get into trouble for that,” the older woman shakes her head and chuckles. “But I guess this is just me worrying too much about her. After all, it’s my job as her sister.”

 

“Yeah, totally understandable. I think it has always been the older sister’s job description.” Sana laughs with her.

 

“Have siblings?”

 

“Yes. I have a brother. He’s back in Japan, currently in his last year in senior high.”

 

“A brother?” Taeyeon’s brows furrow and her teeth grit in playful disgust. “Yikes. That’s a lot of trouble. And if he’s as good looking as you, that would be a lot worse.”

 

Sana drops her head when she realized how Taeyeon read her thoughts like it was an open book. Her brother has been the campus heartthrob, and Sana’s popularity contributed somehow on the hype as well. But the thing is, he would seem to take his opportunities for granted just because he’s living in a world that seems much more polite to him than anyone else. It’s something that Sana wanted to change for the longest time now. So when it comes to keeping the siblings in line, she can totally relate.

 

“I’m scared that I can get a bit out of hand sometimes but I think between my mom and I, I’m the one who had to play bad cop.” Sana squints and eyes and reasoned, “Maybe it’s more of me pushing him to use his head first before his charms. That would get him farther in life.”

 

Taeyeon rests her chin over her folded fist and nods in agreement. There was a certain look on her face that says how impressed she was - satisfied, even - that she’d be leaving her little sister to this girl.

 

“What did I miss?” Dahyun scoots in and sits right beside Sana.

 

“Nothing much. Just learned that Sana here is as cursed as me.” Taeyeon just bobbed her eyebrows, quietly confirming their common ground. “Ugly business of taking care of a rascal such as you, Kim Dahyun. Do you know how we discovered Dahyun’s talent for acting?”

 

“I think this is a story I’d wanna hear.” Sana takes a sip from her wine and looks at now nervous Dahyun.

 

“Unnie! No!” Dahyun covers Sana’s ears.

 

“She pretended to be a college professor for a week.” Taeyeon leans into a hush hush.

 

“For a what?!” Sana eyes widened, glancing at Dahyun for a quick moment. It was then when Dahyun dropped her hands on her lap and pouted.

 

“In my defense, I was an actual Teaching Assistant and the freshmen were annoying!” Dahyun defends.

 

“Mom was called up.” Dahyun’s sister continues. “She didn’t get much into trouble since it’s not an actual offense, but it’s quite important to note that by the end of the week, or Dahyun’s teaching career, my sister here pulled out a diagnostic exam to the whole class, took all the answers in, divided them into two piles, then she threw one pile into the garbage saying —”

 

“Astonishing. Only half of you are going to survive this.” Dahyun completes the legend, and the sisters laugh at the memory.

 

“Almost half wanted to drop out from the subject, until the faculty intervened. Needless to say, that’s how this crazy shit got caught.” then older girl takes a sip of bourbon.

 

At this point, Sana can’t really blame the faculty for speaking to Dahyun’s parents, but on the other hand, it was actually quite an impressive prank to pull off. The best prank that Sana pulled off in her student days was smuggling in beer to the rooftops using strings and remote controlled cars but that was it. If she did the shit that Dahyun did, Sana would’ve been sacked from her university.

 

Maybe, this is what Taeyeon meant about not thinking her actions through. It bothered Sana a bit, especially now that she thinks on how quick they built habits around each other.

 

But her thoughts got pushed back when she feels Dahyun’s fingers intertwining with hers like it was the normalest thing to do at this point. Then they’d listen to how Taeyeon built The White Moon and how Dahyun only visits to get a swig from her more expensive selections. Quite rarely, of course. Reserved for the most stressful occasions.

 

Soon enough, Taeyeon excused herself to oversee the last hour of the speakeasy. There are no people now save for the couple in the far booth who are sharing the last few drops of wine. Meanwhile, Dahyun and Sana have been talking about their families and childhood, not really noticing that they’ve been holding hands the entire night.

 

“Hey.” Dahyun’s lips grazes off the soft skin on the side of Sana’s ear. It was more than enough to make Sana close her eyes shut. “I wanna show you something.”

 

And Sana could’ve sworn that before Dahyun pulls her lips away, she placed a warm soft kiss. She jerks up surprise because they never do those things in public, but here is Dahyun and all her risks, and ideas that are not thought through. Here she is giving her a sweet smile before tugging her by the wrist and leading her the the grand piano in the middle of the establishment.

 

\---

 

“This is so goddamn hard. Oh my god.” Mina wobbles over a longboard that was dangerously zooming in a whopping half a meter for every five seconds. “Whoa!”

 

“Easy! You’re going way too fast!” Jeongyeon says sarcastically, warranting the irritated stare from Mina. “Safety is always first.” she continued to reason out as if she didn’t say anything that’s remotely irky.

 

“This is stupid.” Mina puts both her arms outwards to her side to maintain balance. “And if this is too fast, you’re being too helpful.” she said to the girl that was just following closely beside her doing practically nothing but watch her struggle.

 

“You know, Just Mina, I’ve always taken you as an independent woman. I’m pretty sure that you can handle this.”

 

Mina glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes.

 

“Jeongyeon, please be a doll and hold me while I skate. I am starting to get bored.” Mina just stood there holding both arm in front of her with her hands hanging loosely as if asking to be taken.

 

“Why yes, your royal highness. I always serve at your pleasure.” Jeongyeon carefully takes Mina’s both hands as she walked backwards slowly. Mina bites her smiling lip, feeling quite warm whenever the manager indulges her antics. They weren’t going any faster than before but somehow Mina feels like it got more enjoyable. Sure, they banter a lot but being with Jeongyeon has always been nice.

 

And as sly as the manager goes, she tends to either pull her close or walk backwards faster to make Mina hold tighter from time to time. Squeals turn to giggles, and giggles turns into the loud calling of names.

 

“Jeongyeon!” there was a slight hint of fun panic in Mina’s tone.

 

“What?” then the manager would always act innocently, laughing at how Mina reacts to her silliness. “I got you.”

 

“I might fall, okay?” Mina reasons quickly but her voice slowly trailing out when she realized that her words might become an intimate innuendo that’s too late to take back. And it did not help when her eyes meets Jeongyeon’s and this certain manager was smiling in a non mischievous way.

 

A warm smile coupled with sweet words.

 

“I’m gonna catch you.”

 

Mina would’ve cringed at this, but god damn it, she remembered when one of her friends told her that when cringing wasn’t her first reaction, then it’s definitely something else. Especially when Jeongyeon is looking at her that way.

 

Pancakes sound good tomorrow morning. Chocolate and blueberries, to be much more specific.

 

\---

 

Dahyun leads Sana into the center of the room where a white piano was sitting on a low elevated platform. Taeyeon says that she owned it, and that she plays it from time to time so it made Sana wonder if Dahyun shares the same interest as her sister.

 

To whichever the answer, she was quite excited to find out because she knew that she’s slowly uncovering the deepest shades of Kim Dahyun.

 

Dahyun takes a seat on the small piano bench and pats the spot right beside her to lead Sana in.

 

“Taeyeon-unnie played this yesterday. I think it’s in tune.” she plays with just around four different notes but it already made a melody, making Sana drop her jaws in utter amazement. “What? You think that you’re the only one with a secret life, Professor?”

 

“Holy shit.” Sana whispers under her breath, trying her best not to swoon at this very moment, but Dahyun is making it so damn difficult with how she focuses on the keys, or how she bites on her lip, or how her hair falls beautifully on the side of her face.

 

“Press these keys in this sequence whenever I tell you.” Dahyun shows it to Sana, pressing four keys repeatedly but in two different tempos to allow Sana to catch up. “You try.”

 

Playing the piano is like following patterns or equations. It should’ve been easy for Sana to follow the directions, if only she’s not feeling so damn nervous all of a sudden. So much so that she kept missing one key in the sequence. To make things more embarrassing for her, Dahyun notices how she struggled.

  
  


A hand covers hers and a finger presses down on Sana’s digits, which in turn, presses down on specific keys. The touch was making Sana feel things and all of a sudden, she wanted to look like she doesn’t understand anything that’s related to piano.

 

“Get it?” Dahyun smiles.

 

“Y-yeah.” Sana nods, a bit unsure. God, when did she ever feel this dumb?

 

“Go.” Dahyun looks at Sana as if coaxing her to go on, so Sana does what she was taught a couple of moments ago. A shaky start with missed notes, then, when she got it almost right, it was Dahyun’s turn to play The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies with her. As they went on (a bit struggling with Sana’s unsure tempo), Sana can’t help but smile at how the other girl plays all the keys so well like she has been doing this all her life. Why does Dahyun have to be so good in everything that she does?

 

But Sana isn’t complaining, because she just found another reason to fall in deeper.

 

“Wow, you did it better than how I did when I was eight.”

 

“Okay,” Sana raises both hands. “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or —” in between laughters, Sana was silenced when Dahyun suddenly wraps her in a tight hug.

 

“No! I didn’t mean it that way!” her last word lingers on as she defended herself through a fake cry. It’s so hard to pretend being mad at Dahyun if she pleads innocence this way, so Sana’s relents without a fight.

 

“If you’re _that_ good, play me something.” Sana challenged, not backing down from how Dahyun was looking into her eyes.

 

“I have a feeling that you’re going to say that.” Dahyun plays an unknown melody to check the tune of the piano and turns to Sana once more. “You don’t have the slightest idea of what you’re getting into.”

 

“I’m not that easy to impress, Dahyun.”

 

“That’s because you haven’t seen me play.” Dahyun proceeds to play in an intro, glancing smugly at Sana until the next notes revealed that it was actually the intro for Ed Sheeran’s Tenerife Sea. The complicated notes (at least in Sana’s perspective) was already more than enough to make her a priestess of Dahyun’s church, but Dahyun wouldn’t let her live the next few minutes when she actually began to sing.

 

“You look so wonderful in your dress. I love your hair like that.” Dahyun glances at Sana, who was biting her lips as she was pretending to be unimpressed, when in reality, she was fighting the damn urge to kiss the girl. “The way it falls on the side of your neck, down your shoulders and back.”

 

Sana hated it. Sana hated how Dahyun slyly looks at her because she knows she’s making Sana feel things. Sana hated how she felt so vulnerable around Dahyun because it’s so damn difficult to not like her more than she should. Sana hated how Dahyun stared right into her eyes, not breaking her gaze as she sang the chorus.

 

“And should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it's enough for me. 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need.” Dahyun pauses the chords on mute and gave out this soft smile enough to melt Sana’s warming insides. “I’m so in love.” she sings it like she means it. “So in love. So in love, darling. So in love.”

 

The adlibs just made it so hard but Sana just looked at Dahyun with a raised brow to keep her resolve, while she held onto the edge of her seat just a few notches below its breaking point.

 

As much as she wants to kiss her, she can’t. Because in a brief study of quantum realities, their reality is this: They are famous. They are being watched. They are being judged, and they are being held onto a higher social standard.

 

There’s no Physics Sana. There’s no Pianist Dahyun.

 

But through all of that, Sana remained stoic. Because even if they need to pretend to be different people outside, they still get to feel real things whenever they’re left in their own little worlds. When the cameras are off, and there are no people around but them, they still get to open up the cracks of their skins and let their deeper selves spill through the seams.

 

In their secret reality, there’s a Physics Sana. There’s a Pianist Dahyun.

 

And in this hushed reality, one of them gets to be pushed against the wall with her hands pinned up above their head. In their reality, a pair of white NB 247’s lay thrown aside in Sana’s doorway, as if they were taken off in a hurry. The night is almost over and they only know one way to end it. A litter of clothes were lined up like treats in a forest, but these garments doesn’t lead to a gingerbread house.

 

The trail of clothes starts from the door, cuts through the living room, and ends just right outside Sana’s room.

 

Tonight, Sana is gentle. Her kisses were soft and her tonguing is careful. Afterall, before they left The White Moon, Taeyeon holds both Sana’s hands and whispered “Thank you for making her happy. I know it’s too much to ask but please take care of her.”

 

At first, Sana doesn’t know what to make of it, but she just nodded and promised just the same. The request came in with an unusual weight because this is Kim Taeyeon making it sound like Sana and Dahyun were actually dating. Sana clearly remembers that they never specified it to anyone (not that there’s something to specify anyway) but somehow, Dahyun’s sister put it together.

 

Them. Together.

 

Them “together” wasn’t their reality. Even if Dahyun collapses on top of Sana after the long vigils of making love. Even if Dahyun snuggles her nose inside the space of Sana’s neck because it helps her sleep more. Even if their hands intertwine under the covers and let themselves be stolen by sleep.

 

Even if Dahyun leans in for a goodnight kiss. And even if Sana’s heart feels like it’s beating at the speed of light itself, none of them knows what this _together_  really meant.

 

\---

 

“Alright, Jeongie.” Sana takes her usual seat at the back of her van. “What do we have?”

 

“2:15 PM, Agency meeting. 4:30 PM, Samsung J7 Edge CF. 7:30 PM, Laneige meeting. 9:00 PM is..” Jeongyeon stops on her almost mindless mumbling and swipes up on her pad only to see the rest of Sana’s evening was occupied. Sana didn’t mention anything about it, much to Jeongyeon’s worry since this has been the second time that Sana did this.

 

Schedule block is only reserved for one event - that is if Sana’s family is coming over. But since her mom did not message Jeongyeon about it, her manager has every reason to get suspicious.

 

“Let’s call it a night after Laneige.” Sana didn’t even spare a glance at Jeongyeon when she replies to Dahyun’s text. “Winter’s great this time of year to be stuck with me. Like go do stuff like be sad and watch reruns of Say Yes to the Dress with Chinese take out. Or I don’t know, maybe date Mina or something.”

 

Good thing Sana was heavily distracted because she missed how Jeongyeon coughed out her entire mouthful of water.

 

“One, Say Yes to the Dress is a television triumph. Two, Chinese takeout is a cornerstone of every healthy diet. And no, I’m not gonna date Mina. I’m gonna sleep.” Jeongyeon pulls out her phone and opens her chat window to the first person who comes to mind. “What are you up to tonight?”

 

“You do know that you don’t have to say what you’re texting to Mina out loud, right? That’s not how technology works.” Sana asks, her head bent back against the van seat.

 

“Obviously, you haven’t heard of voice activation.” Jeongyeon quips for the sake of sounding right. “So yeah, jokes on you.”

 

“So you are texting Mina.”

 

Okay, that didn’t go too well for Jeongyeon because it was true that she was texting Mina. And it’s also true that she’s asking Mina if she’s free tonight. But Sana doesn’t have to know that.

 

“No! Well, are you texting Dahyun?” Jeongyeon didn’t know why she had to defend herself as if she’s committed a crime. So much so that she sounded someone who’s pinning a non existing issue on Sana.

 

Sana just sat there motionless, her eyes closed and her head slouched back. For the past months, Sana never won this accusation so she retreats to the only way she knew how to avoid the conversation.

 

Be a useless piece of rock.

 

**[Just Mina]:**

Yes! I’m free tonight.

So, are The They actually a thing?

 

**[JeongieJeongyooJeongyeon]:**

I think The They are a thing.

Fuck. We made them sound like aliens.

Kinda getting an invasion vibe here.

 

**[Just Mina]:**

????

Uhm. you kind of started it??

 

(“No, Mina. It’s too obvious. Let us, now and ever, from henceforth, call them The They.”

 

“Wow, are they like aliens? Ghosts? Other dimensional beings?” Mina gets off the bed and covers her underwear clad self with the blanket, which makes the now revealed Jeongyeon hide under the big pillow when she was overwhelmed by the sudden coldness of the winter winds. “And you can’t use ‘now and ever’ and ‘henceforth’ in the same sentence.”

 

“Well, those who told me that Sanamon and Darth Funkel is a bad pun must suffer the consequences of their semantics!”)

 

\---

 

It becomes a pattern. The kind of pattern that would make Ulf Grenander say “And I told you so!”.

 

It started with the frequent messages that’s only interrupted by their schedules in between. It starts in the morning when Dahyun wakes up, and since Jeongyeon has always scheduled Sana’s activities at a later hour, Sana ends up at the receiving end of cute morning video messages. She’d always make sure that she replies right after waking up, then it’s on the road again for interviews, radio guestings, commercials, fan meets, and product endorsement meetings.

 

On busy days, Sana would hide inside her van and answer Dahyun’s call as the set regroups and resets for the next take. If Dahyun is in a playful mode, she’s going to scream out “Honey!” through the phone, compelling Sana to move away from everyone’s earshot. The safety of her own vehicle has always been the best choice mostly because it’s a prime real estate for video calls.

 

If calls are not enough, “The Elevens” is a really great hour to see each other. A black tinted coaster drives into a private neighborhood in Pyeongchang-dong and drops off a pale skinned girl in an oversized hoodie and sneakers holding a plastic bag with something that’s quite hefty. She quickly gets inside the house and greets Sana with laughters and a kiss, wrapping her arms around the taller girl’s neck.

 

“Gotchu your favorite ice cream.” Dahyun mumbles into parted lips.

 

“Really now? Does it taste something like this?” Sana kisses Dahyun softly. Then, her body tenses up when Dahyun jumps on her like a koala to a tree.

 

When they need to go out for a quick grocery run, Sana would notice that she has been burning through her box of flu masks before she could even say ‘turkey’. Before Dahyun, an entire box survives at least a month. After Dahyun, it barely lasts a couple of weeks. Who could blame her? It’s a convenient way to hide your face when you sneak out at three in the morning and hunt for coffee. It’s just that no one mentioned that it would be going out every other day.

 

They might not see each other’s faces, but the smiles in their eyes have always been more than enough to make their hearts feel a bit warmer.

 

(“I bought you a reusable face mask.” Dahyun places a small box over Sana’s chest as they both laid down on her enormous couch. “It has the Einstein Mustache, because you’re a goddamn nerd.”

 

“Well, I actually like Einstein! So yeah, jokes on you!” Sana excitedly opens the box.

 

“Sana. The only people who says they love Einstein are the people in the faculty room.” Dahyun gives her a quick kiss anyway as she shakes her head. “Damn nerd.”

 

So now, Sana doesn’t really know what to do because she does not do well with feelings. Especially when people are attentive to little things.)

 

If Sana’s mom ain’t coming to Korea, blocked evenings only meant one thing: Dahyun is most probably rolling her hips against Sana as they share a wet and melting kiss. Tongues slither and wrap around each other as these delicious kisses are punctuated with light sucking and nibbling. They’d melt into each other’s nakedness and in the morning, Sana’s pillows will smell like vanilla.

 

Then Sana would feel her bed shift as Dahyun rolls to face her, tucking her hands under the cold side of the pillow.

 

(“I like it when you sleep.” Sana whispers.

 

“Why?” Dahyun closes her eyes and retreats further into Sana’s warm hug.

 

“Because you look so beautiful and still be so unaware of it.”)

 

There are dry spells where they won’t be speaking to each other for days. And when the difficult schedules crash down on Dahyun, she becomes a little bit more angsty than usual. Sure, she’s still her pleasant self to the cast and crew. But she would also be seen rushing into her van, not really minding the people who are calling her attention. She’d dial Sana’s number and wait for her to pick up. In the long wait between monotonous rings, she’d learn the hard way that missing someone isn’t really one of the best feelings in the world.

 

The best feeling, though, is being carried and pushed up against the wall after the long wait. Familiar lips trace soft kisses from her shoulders then up to her jaws so Dahyun looks up in closed eyes to give Sana’s mouth more space to work on. Sana rams hard when she’s in reckless heat, and these are the times that Dahyun just wants to be fucked hard.

 

She’d feel her sex tighten around Sana’s fingers and it’s Dahyun’s turn to leave crescent nail marks behind the other girl’s shoulder. A way to cope. A way to brace. A way to show Sana that she wants her so so bad.

 

And in the morning, the pattern remains. Sana wakes up with her sheets smelling like vanilla. And Dahyun giving Sana quick soft kisses whenever she feels the urge to say what she truly feels. It’s always Sana saying stupid Physics puns, and Dahyun sending her video messages that ranges from totally useless stuff to words that are wrapped in sweet nothings.

 

Dahyun thinks that being with Sana feels good. Sana thinks that being with Dahyun is wonderful. Patterns yield the same results in hidden circumstances, and this is what matters in a world that expects so much from the both of them.

 

\---

 

“And that’s when I learned that it’s not really cool to throw metal in a microwave.”

 

Sana didn’t know if she’s going to scream or smack Jeongyeon across the head, so she just resorted into something more authoritatively corrective like sucking her lips and just kind of pointing her finger to the direction of the burnt appliance. Jeongyeon, of course, would later argue that Sana was, in her words - pointing at a vague general direction.

 

“Yeah.” Sana shrugged. “I never would’ve guessed what you used in this experiment. I mean, this is an experiment, right? Not some dare or some random urge? A way to kill yourself, maybe? I don’t know.”

 

The good thing about guilt is it makes one squeamish, like how Jeongyeon squinted to avoid answering Sana’s question.

 

“About that..”

 

“Okay, wow.” Sana drops all facial expressions (like how she gave up on her brother) and stormed out of the kitchen. Jeongyeon catches this so she vaults over the kitchen bar and chases after her friend to reason with her.

 

“Hey! Benjamin Franklin tied a key on a kite! So who’s more ‘scientific method’ between us now, huh? That’s right! It’s 1 for Jeongyeon and 0 for Sana!”

 

“On how you even passed second grade, Yoo Jeongyeon, completely eludes my supreme knowledge.” Sana sighs as she cycled through the TV channels. There’s a documentary about cheetahs, a morning drama, Star Wars: Episode 1 (to which she paused for a while, promising herself to comeback to this channel after she scrolls through everything), that overly dramatic Italian guy with a cake shop, and a variety show with Kim Dahyun.

 

“Again, in this part, we’ll be asking Dahyunnie some questions and we’ll see who among these three actors are compatible with her.” the host points at the board with an open palm.

 

Dahyun mentioned about joining this show but the details got lost in between their long and sporadic conversations. It’s more of Dahyun’s fault, though. Since she wanted to talk more about something else other than work.

 

Much like Sana, who was suddenly much more interested with the movie on the other channel than this variety show that’s prying into Dahyun’s ideal type.

 

It should be harmless fun, but somehow, Sana wasn’t really too enthusiastic about the idea of Dahyun describing someone that’s not her. Actually, this should not be affecting her in any way but she still cycles back to Star Wars anyway before jumping onto her couch. Jeongyeon just stared at how the Japanese girl settled down and pull out her phone to text someone, or to pretend text someone at least.

 

“What?” she asks to her manager who was just standing beside her enormous TV, with loosely folded arms, and a brow raised in suspicion.

 

Jeongyeon just takes the remote with her gaze locked on Sana the whole time. Then, she switched the channel back to the variety show.

 

Sana just rolls her eyes at this with a slight smile curving up from her lips.

 

It was funny seeing Sana this way. If she didn’t really give a damn about this show, she could’ve insisted to watch Dath Maul duel with Qui Gon instead. But she stays put. And Jeongyeon knows exactly why. Afterall, with someone who has a degree in science, her curiosity needs to be fed.

 

“What’s your type of guy?” one of the male hosts said, and it was Sana’s cue to pretend not to listen.

 

“Guy?” Dahyun laughs nervously.

 

“Oh, our Dahyunnie is shy!”

 

She wasn’t. She just thinks that the question is unnecessary and offensively assuming.

 

“Is there a guy that you like?”

 

None. There’s only this one girl that was occupying her thoughts and time.

 

But none of them should know that, because Dahyun knew better when it comes to sharing these kinds of secrets to people. She just shakes her head as she insisted to answer the previous question about types.

 

“I think,” she begins. “Someone who’s funny, and attentive. Someone who makes me comfortable to be myself.”

 

There was a collective ooh’s and ahh’s in the studio as no one really expected Dahyun to give such a mature answer. Not that Dahyun was surprised that they’re surprised. She could bet good cash that these people were expecting an answer along the line of namedropping a male idol, then they’re going to tease her, then maybe build stories around that.

 

Dahyun knew all of that, and Dahyun sure as hell won’t give it to them.

 

“I really like the smart ones. Especially those who can talk about a lot of things.” the Korean actress continues.

 

Still, Sana pretended not to watch even if she’s feeling Jeongyeon’s stare burning holes into her soul. On the TV, one host was badgering the other guy that she doesn’t stand a chance because Dahyun was looking for someone who’s smart.

 

“I’m smart.” Sana mumbles begrudgingly, prompting Jeongyeon to increase the volume.

 

“Funny, attentive, smart. Sounds like someone I know.” the manager shrugs and tosses the remote control on the chair.

 

“Obviously not you.” Sana rolls on her chest and turn her back completely towards the TV.

 

“One of these days, Sana, you will eat your sass and you will not like it.”

 

“Because you’re going to burn it in a microwave, too? Ow!” Sana rolls on her back and nurses her shin. “What the hell?”

 

“Watch. They’re announcing her compatibility.” her manager sits on the edge of the couch and stared up into the television.

 

“JB!” the panelists applaud. “Next up is? Jackson!” to which they applauded louder since they quite expected that he’d show up in the board. Dahyun thinks otherwise because they never really talked much and she thinks that the only reason he’s up there in the board is because they got paired together in a variety show before.

 

Of all three choices, two were men. It did not sit well with her because when she shared the list of the people she worked with as of the recent times, the list was made up of eight girls and two boys. And somehow, the two boys ended up on this board with people being unnecessarily hyped up.

 

“And the last is?”

 

Dahyun smiles expectantly because she knew that this has to be someone genuine. The picture flips and shows a girl with long wavy raven black hair. She has cute puffy cheeks, a sharp nose, and a pair of lips that instinctively sparked Dahyun’s craving.  

 

“Minatozaki Sana!” the panelists seemed surprised as if Sana had no business ending up in the top three picks of compatibilities

 

“Interesting choices today! Who among the three would be your top pick?”

 

“Sana.” she answers without flinching. Sana did that once, too. She chose Dahyun without even stuttering (though she kinda does stutter when she’s nervous around Dahyun and she finds that cute).

 

“Is it because you’re close friends?” one host remarks.

 

“Ah, yes. I heard you worked in a movie with her.” the other host laughs. “Friends are the safest choice in this game.”

 

Dahyun’s brows frown a bit but she quickly recovers. Why do these people think that Sana had no right to be there? That she can’t be an actual choice? One of the panelists, IU, catches on this so she opened the discussion to let Dahyun share about this girl.

 

“What do you think is the reason why she’s up there on the board?” IU asks politely.

 

“She’s a really wonderful person. Plus, she’s super smart too.”

 

“Yeah, I heard she’s a science graduate?” IU clarifies.

 

“Physics! Yes! So she kinda knows a lot. Actually, not kinda. She knows a hell lot. Hey, can we put an Einstein mustache on her picture once you edit this?” Dahyun covers her mouth with balled fists as the entire set bursts into laughter for her seemingly random request. Instead, equations appeared and faded around Sana’s face like it was a scene from The Hangover.

 

“How did you guys become close?” the only seemingly interested host continues.

 

“Well, we were working on the same project and it just so happens that we need to work closely together. She was really friendly and she loves taking care of people. That’s why we became really close.” Dahyun shares as the panelists nod their heads. “Although, I think we all know who she is eversince The House that Fire Built, but it’s quite fun when you realize that she has this other side as a person.” Dahyun finishes with a nod.

 

“I thought girls don’t get along as quickly as boys do.” another idiotic remark slices through. IU hesitantly laughs through tightly pressed lips and as she tried to get the conversation back on track, the other host came in with a more idiotic remark.

 

“They are really compatible friends. I think that’s it.” the host uninvitedly wraps it up. “I think it’s supposed to be another guy here but okay, let’s hear Dahyun make a real choice this time. So, Jackson?”

 

It was painful to watch. Not because it’s hurtful, but more of how cringey everything turned out. Safe to say, the next parts were unproductive when they can’t force a predictable answer from Dahyun. The segment only stayed afloat and interesting because of the quick banters that she exchanged with IU.

 

Jeongyeon can only imagine how Sana felt when she deliberately had to be saved by being pitted against to guys. It sounded like the other hosts were much more interested to whether or not Dahyun likes dicks, and that she was being forced to conform in a mold that she was not cast in.

 

So when the manager looked over her shoulder, she wasn’t really surprised that Sana wasn’t there anymore.

 

\---

 

“I saw the episode today.” Sana mumbles into the phone like a sulking puppy. “They were irritating.”

 

“Yeah, they kind of are. They actually tried to talk to me after the show but I bolted. I told them I had an endorsement meeting.” the voice on the other line explained.

 

“The post edit was a really nice touch, though.” there was a chuckle.

 

“Ha!” the voice on the other line seemed proud. “Only the best for my Sana.”

 

There’s no way that Sana could miss how the last two words blended so well, and damn, Sana had to roll on her tummy and bury her face into the pillow because she doesn’t know what to feel when Dahyun explicitly says that she belongs to her.

 

“Do you have plans tonight?” Sana fishes.

 

“I don’t know.” the voice says, and Sana deflates a bit. “I mean, I’m just thinking of going there now but no real plans yet when I get there. You have anything in mind?”  

 

Sana quickly flips on her back, not really trying to hide her big stupid smile. Because the reality is, even if she’s pitted against other people, Dahyun would always come home to her.

 

“Do you want me to cook for you?” Sana closes her eyes and listened to Dahyun’s voice. Missing someone is a mundane emotion but it was only this time that Sana felt it strongly than ever before. She hopes that in the blackness of her sight, she could imagine Dahyun being already there.

 

“That’d be really fun.” Dahyun whispers.

 

\---

 

Jeongyeon was already half an hour away from Sana’s house when her phone bleeps. The gadget was apparently running out of juice, and since she still has to meet Mina, she knew that there’s no way that she’d survive the rest of the day with battery life below 8%.

 

With one hand on the steering wheel, she digs her other hand inside the bag, only to feel a bag of chips, her tablet, her planner, and her house keys.

 

“Aww, shit.” Jeongyeon takes the next u-turn, wishing that Sana is somehow awake.

 

\---

 

A black coaster stops in front of a house that Jeongyeon left just ten minutes ago. A girl gets off and runs into the house like she did this a thousand times before.

 

“Koala!” Dahyun calls out from the door and bolts towards where Sana was standing. Quick reflexes and sturdy physique made sure that they both don’t topple over when Dahyun wraps her legs around Sana’s waist. A soft kiss says hello, and a laughter says that Sana’s wait is over. Dahyun’s here - just like she’s here the past days, or weeks, or a couple of months. No one is really keeping count.

 

“You’ve gotten heavier the past weeks.” Sana quips.

 

“Well, you’re not letting me miss dinners.” Dahyun presses her nose on Sana’s and beams against her lips. “I missed you too, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

 

Dahyun wraps her arms tightly around Sana’s neck as they blindly made their way towards the couch. A small vase becomes the first casualty, but it doesn’t break.

 

What breaks is Sana’s resolve because when Dahyun pushes her down on the couch and rides on her hips, her core warms and wets in anticipation. Having Dahyun here, on top of her, becomes a comfort that she never knew she wanted. The long deep kiss that follows becomes promises that were never made but can also be broken.

 

She never lied when she said that this was her favorite flavor. Hell, favorite is an understatement, now that she finds herself lip locked and thirsting for another wet kiss. Her eyes roll back into her head as a curious tongue teasingly darts into her slightly parted lips. Sana knows what that slithering fiend can do to her and to the lips of her pleasured face, and to the lips of her throbbing sex.

 

“You’re so adorable when you’re worked up.” Dahyun quips with a whisper of hot breath between soft wet kisses.

 

“Shut up.” Sana, even if she’s quite embarrassed, smiles and responds to the intimacy.

 

“Don’t worry.” Dahyun decides to kiss the corner of Sana’s lips. “You’re still my ideal type.”

 

“You’re so full of bull, Kim Dahyun.” they both laugh.

 

“Oh, what can I do to make you believe me?” Dahyun had this sly smile on her face that was matched only by her mischievous gaze. It wouldn’t take a smart ass like Sana to figure out that it’s a rhetorical question, but damn does she wants to know the answer.

 

And the answer comes as a touch.

 

Then, it’s time for Sana’s body to tense up when she feels a finger trace ticklish circles over the bare tummy. There was no urgency in the tease, and there was no hurry in these sweet long kisses.

 

And good thing Jeongyeon arrived just in time for dinner. Although, Sana can’t remember why she didn’t invite her in the first place.

 

Then a rude realization crashes over her like a cold shower. Jeongyeon’s jaw drops on the floor like Newton’s falling apple because holy shit, her client is on the couch with another actress who was riding her while her hand is dangerously tucked under Sana’s shirt.

 

“Oh sh-!” Sana breaks off the kisses and raises herself on her elbows. Dahyun turns to what distracted Sana, only to find herself rolling over and falling on the edge with a yelp, then completely disappearing from the picture.

 

She knew that she shouldn’t have given Jeongyeon a set of spare house keys.

 

“Minatozaki Sana!”

 

*******

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much for the kind words and the support. You guys have no idea how much it means to us. We poured our hearts and souls to this one and your appreciation motivates us to always do better.
> 
> Thank you! I know that it’s not enough, but thank you!
> 
> Now, questions!
> 
>  
> 
> Q: What the hell is PRS/FRS?
> 
> A: Just “Isaac Newton” is a blasphemy (this is only applicable to Mina). The 17th century mathematician, author, natural philosopher, astronomer, physicist, wig enthusiast, coffee addict will be referred and addressed as Sir Isaac Newton PRS/FRS or more specifically, Knight Bachelor Isaac Newton, President and Fellow of the Royal Society.
> 
>  
> 
> Q: Did you major in Physics?
> 
> A: No. I flunked that subject. Twice. (see what I did there?)
> 
>  
> 
> Q:  You mentioned a lot of references of stuff. Can we have a background?
> 
> A: Yes! I’ll be posting a reference chapter with this update. Basically it contains information on the shit that I bring up, especially the fictional movie: The House that Fire Built.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much again for your support! Special thanks to our ever reliable beta TKYBee! She always makes sure that our shit is up to quality. She is the reason for the “we” and the “our”.
> 
> Buckle up for the ride, my peoples! I’m actually not quite sure on where I’ll take us!! Fret not about the updates, I will see this through until the end!
> 
>  
> 
> Always glad you stopped by!
> 
> \- csj


	5. Part 5: Dizzy Up the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the challenge of hiding everything under the covers.

**Dizzy Up the Girl**

**Part 5**

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Miss Dahyun?” 

 

A quiet voice called out for Dahyun who was jogging down to her dressing room. She turns to where the gentle call came from and sees IU  jogging towards her. 

 

“Hello, Miss Jieun.” Dahyun bows low, acknowledging IU’s tenureship against hers. 

 

“I know that you’re trying to lose the production team but I would just like to apologize for what happened earlier.” 

 

“What about?” 

 

“What the other guys said in there was inappropriate. You and Sana didn’t deserve any of that.” IU continues, which made Dahyun feel bad. She shouldn’t be doing this because IU was the only decent panelist in that show, but here she is, doing the most mature thing for a fault that was not even hers. “You spoke of her in a different way. I saw it in your eyes, and in how you shared your feelings. I hope that you’ll be together for a long time.” 

 

“Miss Jieun, I am not sure of what you’re saying.” Dahyun laughs and now she doesn’t know why she’s feeling nervous. 

 

“In our line of work, time is a luxury that we never have. So stop wasting it by being dishonest with yourself. You won’t regret it. I promise” IU steps back and gives a small nod, then turns to the opposite direction.

 

There was a pang in Dahyun’s chest. It was as if IU’s words sliced through her entire being. Suddenly, the thought of how Sana and her came to be was now riddled with a tinge of long repressed guilt. 

 

But she has no time to deal with that now. She has an event to get to, and a quick radio interview to finish. 

 

So she gets into her van and drives off to the next thing she needs to attend to. There’s only thing that keeps her going and the sooner she finishes, the sooner she gets to see Sana.

 

\---

 

Present day.

 

"Yoo Jeongyeon!” Sana jumps up and opens her arms wide in welcome. “My friend! My manager! The best person in the world! I can explain!"

 

"Minatozaki Sana! I will microwave your head with a metal bowl!" Jeongyeon points at Sana to strengthen her point. 

 

"That's gross! That's dark! And you will do no such thing!" their banter went on.

 

In the eyes of Yoo Jeongyeon (manager, friend, author of the Laws of Gravitation 2.0, and probably the best person in the room right now) Sana has always been well behaved. She might have some close calls with other artists but she would always retreat into herself so she won’t expose her truest nature. Since then, Jeongyeon never had any problems. 

 

That’s until a certain actress barged into her life and rode on her with hands grazing over places that it shouldn’t be roaming on. In Jeongyeon’s head, this is definitely way better than seeing her parents having sex but also actually seeing her parents having sex.

 

Between Sana and Jeongyeon, Sana has always been right. Not because she’s smarter, but because Jeongyeon loves betting on unfavorable scenarios. Like that one time where she practically begged Sana to bring their insulated sleeping bags and Sana insisted that they have warmers up in the mountain. That is, until the generator breaks and they’re stuck in the house with only blankets on. 

 

Jeongyeon’s hunches are always brought in by omens. It’s one of greatest strengths as a manager — seeing trouble from miles away. And in times that it’s okay for her to be right, this is, by far, her least favorite. 

 

"Sana. Manager Yoo." a voice softly squeaks from behind Sana.

 

“Oh my god!” Sana quickly takes Dahyun’s hands to help her up. “I am so sorry!” to which Dahyun just smiles softly and mouths and  _ ‘It’s fine.’ _

 

"Hi, Dahyun! Really pleasant to see you always. I apologize in advance on how my client acted. I know that she may have used her undeniable charms to seduce you, and that —”

 

"That's not true.” Dahyun defends as she straightens her hoodie down. “I mean she didn't seduce me. But it's true, though. Her undeniable charm." for some reason, she cowers a bit in shyness. 

 

"Aww, thanks babe." Sana beams at the remark but was quickly pulled back into the issue when Jeongyeon screamed.

 

"Sana!" 

 

This only meant one thing.

 

"Yep, duo meeting!” Sana acknowledges and turns to the other girl. “Dahyun, I am so sorry but can you go to my room for a quick sec?" 

 

“Okay.” she nods quietly and left the two to their important discussion. 

 

\---

 

She gently closes the door behind her and soon enough she finds herself alone in Sana's room. Left quietly by herself, she let her eyes wander around Sana's place and realized how much of it escaped her attention. Sure, she knew how the bed felt and looked like. Or the color of the wool rug when they fell and did it on the floor once. Or the creaky closet door that Sana pushes her up against. 

 

But what she did not catch is how this small space (No, it was not small. Her room is actually pretty big.) captured details that made up the girl that she's seeing frequently.

 

There is a stack of books that did not surprise Dahyun. Especially when the titles were Kaku's Physics of the Impossible, Tyson's Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, and a collection of essays from trailblazing women scientists. What surprised her though is an anthology of Calvin and Hobbes, a five piece set of One Piece (probably part of a bigger set), three volumes of One Punch Man, and an art book for a recently released video game. It just made Sana much more of a nerd and Dahyun finds it so damn adorable. 

 

Sana also keeps a picture of her family, Dahyun learns. 

 

On the corner of her study table, she keeps a portrait of her family, a picture of her and her brother. A graduation picture, and an old picture of her and Jeongyeon. There’s also a picture of her dog (maybe back home), and a picture of someone that Dahyun’s too familiar with. 

 

Herself.

 

It was taken in their first night in Taeyeon's White Moon where Sana asked her to pose by the piano. There was a scribbled date and a heart at the bottom of the polaroid. 

 

There was a sudden nagging feeling inside Dahyun because at this point, she knew her manager was right. Sana is not who she shows in TV. She’s not just a girl with a pretty smile and a charming personality, because this room shows that she’s much more than that. She’s so much more that Dahyun feared she doesn’t deserve this much of Sana. And even if she tried hard enough, her heart may not even be enough to hold all her feelings in. 

 

So, for the feelings that spilled out, Dahyun takes a sharpie and a piece of stationery. Hawking’s A Brief History of Time was on the bedside table, opened and faced down as if to save the page. Dahyun takes a mental note of getting Sana a bookmarker but she focuses first on the task at hand. 

 

She chooses a page at the end of the book and inserts the note in between. The message was signed with the current date to make sure that Sana knows when it was written.

 

_ I will never know what good I did to be at the receiving end of everything that you are. _

_ In your deepest shades, always.  _

_ I love you, Nerd! _

_ \- tofubean _

 

\---

 

"I had a hunch about this. So does Dahyun's manager. Safe to say that she didn't like it one bit." Jeongyeon had her arms folded under her chest as she pressed her back against the kitchen counter.

 

"How can you say?" Sana raises a brow.

 

"She has this look on her face.” her manager hovers her hand around her own face. “The one that you make whenever I book you into one of those guestings with a male co-actor." then she turns her hand into a finger pistol and aimed at Sana.

 

"That bad?" the actress replies.

 

"Not really my area of expertise. All I'm saying is, I'm not entirely okay with this too, Sana. It's too dangerous.” Jeongyeon sighs. So did Sana, as she ran both hands over her face. She knew that Jeongyeon’s instincts would kick in, and if she’s going to be honest, her manager is standing on a logical point. 

 

The scandals, the paparazzis, the questions, the issues. It will surely follow once the public catches on whatever she and Dahyun has between them. 

 

But in her buzzing thoughts, Jeongyeon’s voice went through.

 

“But you're my friend, Sana, and I know how she makes you feel. I'll try to cover your tracks as much as I can but be goddamn careful, okay? At least until we figure out how to deal with this."

 

"I mean we survived this long under your nose." Sana mumbles.

 

"That would've been an achievement if your trying to survive only upto this moment. How about tomorrow? The next week? The next month? The next year?" 

 

"Okay, I get it."

 

"Good.” Jeongyeon nods as she pushed herself off the counter. “I think I might have to talk to the agency."

 

"Would that really be necessary?" 

 

"I will take the bullets for you, Sana. You know that. But I cannot do this alone. I need like a super armor or some power ups or whatever forcefield." 

 

"Fine.” Sana’s shoulder drops. “But can it wait just until we release the movie? Just in case, you know.." 

 

"Things go under?"

 

"Yeah. We can't let the movie pay for that. Writer Im and the entire team worked hard for this." 

 

"Fine." Jeongyeon throws her head back and surrenders. Leave it to Sana to always minimize collateral damage because she actually cares. The only thing that bothered Jeongyeon is the fact that Sana seemed to have jumped in head first. But then again, this is falling in love. Not slowly stepping into love.

 

The manager takes her charger, which is actually the main reason why she’s here, and stuffs it in her bag. They were both quiet at this point until Sana spoke softly.

 

"Hey, Jeongie."

 

"What?" 

 

"I know I don't tell this to you as often but, thanks. For everything. You're the best manager that I ever had." Sana admits. 

 

"I am your only manager." Jeongyeon tries to deflect the sudden emotions. 

 

"Okay, fine. But not the point." 

 

"Semantics, Sana."

 

"God, you're turning into a Producer Myoui." Sana’s face contorts as she pulled her head back. 

 

They both laughed quietly at this, realizing that in a span of almost nine months, give or take, a lot of things changed in and around them. This isn’t the most ideal situation to be in, but they both think that they’ve been to much worse. Indecent proposals, blackmailing fans, hiding Sana’s sexuality, fending off overly-friendly actors, trash endorsements, and everything between. And through all of these, they pushed on together. 

 

A dating scandal isn’t the most ideal situation to be in right now, but their commitment stays the same. Make it or break it, they’re still here.

 

"Hey, we always got each other's back. Alright?" Jeongyeon’s lips curve up into a smile.

 

"You bet your ass we do." 

 

"Good. Now go get your girl. I have a date." Jeongyeon throws her bag over her shoulder and marched towards the door. 

 

“Tell Mina to not bump her head onto anything! She might leave you if she wakes up!” Sana screams out but only gets a flipped bird in reply. 

 

\---

 

"Did she kill you?" Dahyun holds both her hands out, waiting for Sana to take them. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the brown eyes where the sparse light danced.

 

"Yeah. This is my hologram now. I hope that you're okay with this version of me." Sana quipped.

 

"Tch." Dahyun rolls her eyes as the other girl laughs at her own joke. "She's okay with it?" 

 

"Yup." Sana walks over and takes both hands that were offered.

 

"She warned us to be careful?" 

 

"Yup." 

 

"She'll talk to your agency?" 

 

"Yup." 

 

There was a sudden silence that echoed through the dimmed room. Dahyun had been staying here for a while but she never bothered to open the lights. The bedside lamp offered reprieve but the lack of light actually brought comfort to them both. Besides, they never really needed lights for whatever they’re doing here.

 

"Do I get to stay the night?" Dahyun’s puppy eyes sparkled and Sana laughs softly at the question.

 

"Definitely." She whispers.

 

"Okay." Dahyun beams.

 

"Okay." Sana nods.

 

Then, ever so carefully, she guides Sana as she climbs on to the bed with her. The issue is not important right now. What’s important is Dahyun who’s looking like she needs a kiss right now.

 

\---

 

Being caught, in the simplest sense, is something that you wouldn’t want to get yourself into. For example, Dahyun was caught pretending to be a college instructor which caused her parents a level of embarrassment. Not to mention the punishment Dahyun got when she reached home.

 

But in this case, being caught and being let off the hook warrants them both a certain degree of intimate freedom. It was not a full hall pass but they both felt that with Jeongyeon’s informal blessing, Sana and Dahyun can now step a bit more boldly into each other’s lives. And while Jeongyeon was burdened with new responsibilities, Sana tried to keep everything under wraps as much as she can. 

 

And to whatever spills out from their locked secret, the media is quick but too dumb to figure it out. 

 

**[Koreaboo] Minatozaki Sana spotted in the set of Dreamers!**

 

They show a picture of Sana standing by the sidelines, watching how the shot unfolds. Some producers and assistant directors chat with her but she didn’t really find the conversation interesting.

 

What is interesting though, is how Dahyun would glance at Sana for a quick moment and mouths a  _ Hi, love. _ to her. It would make Sana’s tummy feel all warm inside because this is Dahyun not really thinking of what she’s doing, but also makes sure that she shows her affection in public. Sana would smile and suck in her lips because this is just all too risky. 

 

The problem here is, she’s convinced that the risks are worth it. 

 

So, as the cast and crew subsides for a break, Sana tells the producers that she rented a burger truck to feed whoever they need to feed. It’s a showbiz habit in this part of the world. A token of gratitude to the people for taking care of Dahyun. 

 

“Hey, you swung by!” Dahyun walks closer and finds it hard to fight the urge of hugging Sana. But she fought valiantly so anyway by wrapping her blanket tighter around her shoulders. 

 

“We finished early and since I’m in the area, I thought I’d drop by. It’s been a week, after all.” Sana tucks both hands in her back pockets, trying to look cool but was actually also fighting to pull Dahyun in. 

 

“You’re a bit clingy. You know that?” Dahyun rolls her eyes playfully.

 

“I know. That’s why I’m cutting this visit short.” the Japanese girl feigns a threat. 

 

“What?” Dahyun pouts, and Sana succeeds. “Can you at least stay up until we resume?” 

 

“I’m not sure. Don’t wanna freak you out with my clinginess.” Sana winces much to Dahyun’s chagrin.

 

“I hate you.” 

 

“No, you don’t.” Sana then playfully ruffles Dahyun’s hair. “I think the directors are looking for you.” there was a noticeable change in Sana’s tone when she saw the main production huddle craning their necks towards their direction. Dahyun glances over her shoulder and confirms Sana’s unwelcome suspicion. “Go. Before we both get in trouble.” 

 

“Fine.” Dahyun sighs. But for what it’s worth, she carefully walks backwards as she checked to her left and right to see if there are people watching them. With her back towards the only group of people that’s giving them their attention, she looks at Sana straight in the eye as she gave her air kisses. 

 

“Minx.” Sana chuckles. Kim Taeyeon speaks true. Her sister does whatever she likes. 

 

Good thing the news would only peg this as a friend visiting a friend.

 

\---

 

“Dreamers has a new cast. You heard about that?” Jeongyeon plops in a tablet of Berroca into a glass of water which quickly fizzled up. 

 

“And this matters to me because?” Sana throws two denim jackets down her couch and inspects them both. An oversized one with embroidered patches and a smaller one with suede accents. 

 

“Because it’s about Dahyun and the new cast is you.” Jeongyeon puts her phone down and rests her shoulder against the wall. She watched Sana from where she is, wishing that her sarcasm is reaching into Sana’s head. 

 

“I was casted? When? When were you planning to tell me?” 

 

Sarcasm flew right over Sana’s head.

 

“Because you were fucking there when you’re not even part of the cast. So, when are you planning to join that god damn drama?” 

 

“Jeongie, it’s totally fine.” Sana finally looks at her manager when she figured out where she’s poking at. “Media outlets are just pegging us as friends.”

 

“You rented a burger truck for the entire staff.”

 

“They are hardworking and it was convenient. A friend appreciates when people take care of their friend.” Sana defended.

 

“I am not as sharp as you but I can call bullshit when I see one. So, yes. Friends my ass. You guys like a couple now?” the manager asks.

 

“No!” Sana quickly answers and quickly regrets it as well. “I mean, I don’t know.”

 

“Sana, between you and me, you’re the smart one. I’m actually quite surprised that you didn’t know the answer to that.” 

 

“It’s not that simple, okay?” Sana still tried to defend. “Just give me more time to figure out—” then she gestured in the air the whole entirety of the situation and sighed. “—this.”

 

Let it be known this day of the existence of The This, which was created by The They. They are not some primordial precursor entities that may or may have been aliens who guided our cavemen brethren, but their origins are as vague as where Sana and Dahyun are standing. If gray is what stands between the convictions of black and the hesitations of white, they are somewhere in between the seemingly infinite line that separates them. 

 

They are both not particularly lost because Sana knows what she wants. It’s just that, Dahyun is not someone that you risk losing. Her honest dreams, childish humor, and how she seemingly puts a smile on Sana’s face all the damn time is something that you would want to keep. 

 

Sana wanted to believe The This. Because The This comes with making love, and air kisses, tight koala hugs, and waking up the next day naked. The This comes with morning messages, and late night phone calls, and even later food deliveries when they’re both too tired to do anything else. 

 

The This is The Now, and Sana chooses that over anything else. 

 

“Whatever  _ this  _ is, Sana, you better figure it out real quick.” Jeongyeon pushes herself off the wall. “And be more god damn careful.”

 

\---

  
  


“You seemed pretty okay with Sana dating Dahyun.” Mina pats Jeongyeon’s cheeks with her fingers, carefully evening out the mudpack that she placed on the other girl’s face.

 

“I specifically said that I am not totally okay with it. Semantics.” Jeongyeon’s eyes remained closed. But it was more than enough to tell Mina that this is as complicated for her as well. She smiles at this, or more specifically at the thought of Jeongyeon’s sincere concern for her client and friend. 

 

“But you allowed them to do this just the same.”

 

“They’re both grown ups. They both know what they’re getting into.” the manager finally opens her eyes and looks up to meet Mina’s. “But more importantly,” she paused, trying to find the right words to describe it. “I think this is the only time that I’ve seen her get in touch with this part of herself. You get it?” 

 

“Yes, but please do go on.” Mina lies on her side and rests a hand on Jeongyeon’s waist. 

 

“We both knew about her preferences ever since she got into to acting, but there’s no real way for her to be honest with herself in a place like this. I remember us quarreling often whenever I force her to go with whoever lead guy she has at that time and pretend all couple-y and starry eyed as if she’s watching a dream. Promotions. CFs. You name it. And those things are just not her. She almost killed me because of it.” Jeongyeon sighs. “Don’t get her wrong. Sana’s heart is good. It’s just that when everyone has made up their minds up with their own prejudices, I’m afraid that her heart won’t be enough to save herself from ruin.” Jeongyeon snakes her arm under Mina’s neck, and so her hand end up just over the other girl’s crown. Mina likes it when Jeongyeon strokes her hair so she lets out a quick laugh and urged the manager to go on. 

 

“At some point in her career, we had to compromise. There has already been a lot of times where I had to balance her real self and the one that she shows in public. And I’d be lying if I said that I’m not hurt by the fact that she needs to hide. Until The Deepest Shades of You happened, and with Dahyun around...” her voice trails off.

 

“She doesn’t have to pretend anymore.” Mina tucks Jeongyeon’s stray hair behind her ear as she completes the manager’s trail of thought.

 

“There’s a part of me that believes she deserves this and a part of me that’s leaning towards the practicality of things. I mean, I can’t take this away from her. But at the same time — ”

 

“You’re not sure if it will all pan out well for Sana and Dahyun.”

 

“Yeah.” Jeongyeon’s sigh was heavier this time. “I just want the best for her, you know?”

 

There was a length of silence that swirled between them as they both pieced together their thoughts. Mina shifts as she scooted closer to the other girl. Jeongyeon’s bed is big but that doesn’t mean that they should be sleeping with distances between them. Especially tonight that Jeongyeon is being bogged down by her dilemma. 

 

“My mom used to say ‘Mina, whenever you reach an impasse, settle for the choice that would make you sleep better at night.’” 

 

“She really said ‘impasse’? Wow.” 

 

A light hit on Jeongyeon’s shoulder, followed by a soft annoyed laughter.

 

“Yes, she said ‘impasse’, got a problem with that?”

 

“Impasse. Big word.” Jeongyeon laughs mockingly. But it quickly subsides when she thought about the rest of Mina’s words. Or more specifically, Mrs. Miyoui’s words. “Manager Jeongyeon would’ve said no, and slept well with it.”

 

“What would Friend Jeongyeon the Dork say?” 

 

“Sana deserves to be happy.”

 

“And she would’ve slept well with that?”

 

“Yes. Very..” Jeongyeon answers without hesitation. “Or maybe she’d find it hard to sleep because she’d be busy looking for the meaning of ‘impasse’.” 

 

“I swear to god, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

 

\---

 

On one of their free afternoons, Sana insisted on helping Dahyun fix up her apartment. It has been an awful lot of time but Dahyun was still not finished in unpacking when she moved into her new apartment three months ago. As her time was squeezed into busy schedules, doing chores and making her home became a second priority. 

 

The only thing that’s fixed about her home is her bedroom and her bathroom because it has been scientifically proven that an average human can survive with only these facilities available. These, and a stable wifi connection.

 

“Are you sure about this? My house is really a mess.” Dahyun pouts as she climbed into the elevator with Sana. Her home sits at the 23rd floor of one of the most posh apartment buildings in Seongsu, a neighborhood across the river from Gangnam.

 

“How bad could it be?” Sana shurgs and tucks both her hands into her pockets. But before Dahyun could answer, the elevator doors opened to reveal a woman with skin as white as snow, and the kind of beauty so sophisticated, it almost stopped Sana’s heart from beating. 

 

“Hi, Dahyun.” she smiles and bows discreetly.

 

“Hi, Miss Bae! Sana, this is Miss Irene Bae. She lives on the 25th.” 

 

Sana doesn’t need to know her name because everybody knows the name of the Greatest Woman of this Generation. What she doesn’t know is what to do with Irene’s hand that’s extended towards her, and the only thing that she should do is reach out and shake it. 

 

“I’m a fan of your work. I watched The House that Fire Built like five times.” Irene laughed softly, covering half of her face with her balled fists to hide her sudden embarrassment. 

 

“I.. I.. I mean.” Sana stuttered so much she almost jumped off the 19th floor. “I.. Thank you so much.” 

“I know this is embarrassing but I just had to share that I keep on bringing the movie up to anyone I talk to.” 

 

“It’s not as embarrassing as me bringing up this encounter to everyone that I’d meet.” Sana quickly banters back, not noticing how Dahyun’s brow raises higher than it usually should. 

 

Dahyun was never the jealous type. Or at least, it’s something that she never felt strongly before than how she does now. Sana has her ways with words and seeing her all smitten with her beautiful neighbor kind of made her heart punch her in the stomach. And she never liked the feeling of being punched in the frickin’ stomach. 

 

So when they said their polite goodbyes (Irene lives two floors above Dahyun), she tried her best to ignore Sana when the other girl was screaming as she held her own hand by the forearm. “Quick! Get a plastic bag and seal my hand! If we both run out of luck, I can sell this thing for money!” 

 

Dahyun just gave a quick chuckle to mask the nagging pang in her chest even though she knew that she’s been acting a bit unfair and immature right now. It didn’t take long for Sana to notice, though. Her banter usually makes her Dahyun laugh, but not today.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” the Japanese actress almost mumbled, trying her best to coax Dahyun into honesty. It only made Dahyun guilty, because in the technicalities and laws of The This, she has no real claim over Sana’s feelings and yet she’s acting all bummed up. 

 

“Here we are.” Dahyun stopped at a door, completely ignoring Sana’s remarks. 

 

“What’s wrong, babe?” Sana loosely grabbed on Dahyun’s wrist to which she let herself to be slowly tugged in. 

 

“Nothing.” Dahyun insisted as she tried her best to stay away from Sana’s puppy eyes. She hates it when she does that. She hates it when Sana does anything cute, like crumple her chin and pout her lips when she wanted something. Or how she’d look so apologetic for something that she never did. 

 

“Hey.” Sana’s voice was soft, and it made Dahyun’s knees feel the same. “Hey, talk to me first.”

 

“I said it’s nothing.” Dahyun surrenders when she finally turns and holds onto both of Sana’s hands. She wanted to stab herself for making it sound annoyed because it was just too late to hold her feelings in. So much so that when she squeezed Sana’s hand, she was suddenly yanked back into a couple of minutes ago when a certain celebrity got Sana swooning. “Let’s just find a bag to seal your hand in.” 

 

Sana watched Dahyun chuckle quietly and shake her head. She definitely sounded awfully bummed out and while it might not be obvious to others, a quick switch in moods can only mean a few things. Too bad Sana’s wit is quick to catch on, so she follows Dahyun deeper into the apartment with a silly smile on her face. 

 

“Wait, babe.” she giggles. “Are you jealou—” 

 

“I’m not jealous!” Dahyun might have defended too quickly as she suddenly turns to the girl that was following her making the same girl stop in her tracks. 

 

There was this smug smile on Sana’s face and Dahyun hated that she looked too obvious.

 

“Oh my god! You are jealous!” Sana covers her ajared mouth with both hands. 

 

“I’m not!” then it was Dahyun’s turn to take a step back when Sana began walking into her personal space. There’s no way that she’d make Sana freak out because she had these ‘illegitimate’ feelings for her but a part of her was relieved that Sana looks ready to reassure. Maybe, just maybe, Sana likes Dahyun the way she does. 

 

She took one last step back when she felt her back hit the kitchen counter. It was a wrong choice of place to stay in, Dahyun learns, because now Sana traps her against the sink. Both Sana’s hands were on either side of Dahyun and as much as the shorter girl tried to avert from Sana’s piercing gaze, she found herself drowning into her hazel eyes. 

 

“Sana, stop.” Dahyun whispers shyly. 

 

“Dahyun,” she begins “You don’t need to be jealous. She’s just a celebrity that we all like. You, on the other hand, is something else entirely.” she presses a quick soft kiss on Dahyun’s lips. “Just so you know, I’m not seeing anybody else except you.” 

 

There was a reassurance in Sana’s words. Reassurance that Dahyun believes she doesn’t deserve, because they’re not together, and she shouldn’t be feeling these kinds of emotions from someone that was playing along the gray areas of what should and what shouldn’t. While it is true that she doesn’t have the right, Sana’s words made her feel better all the same. 

 

Sana is gentle. Sana is warm. Sana is all kinds of good that she doesn’t probably deserve, like feeling jealous or reassured. Sana is an incomprehensible feeling of safety, and sincerity. Sana is not her girlfriend, and most definitely someone who does not know why both her and Dahyun are here in the first place.

 

A nagging thought began to claw its way out again, but trust Dahyun to be the queen of ignoring things. 

 

“And you’re right.” Sana laughs. “Your house is a mess.”

 

“Not my bed, it isn’t.” Dahyun giggles against Sana’s lips as she felt a pair of hands squeeze her waist. 

 

“Then maybe we should.”

 

Do not get Sana wrong, though. She promised to help Dahyun and she will. Maybe just a bit later. Or later later. Or tonight. Or maybe anytime after bed messing, because now, Sana is crawling on top of the other girl, amidst the sealed boxes stacked outside the room.

 

\---

 

It has been months since principal production wrapped up in that enormous lot in Daejang-do. Since then, mornings became so much quieter and calmer except for the busy clattering sound of the keyboard that echoed through the house at 8 AM. Sitting with legs crossed by the dining table and hunched over her laptop is Yuri who was attending to her consultant job. 

 

The kitchen smelled like freshly brewed coffee and for the first time in weeks, the snow outside isn’t as terrible. Pluto was having the time of his day by the deck, showering himself with the golden sun. Afterall, it doesn’t take much to make dogs this happy. 

Yuri agreed that this is a good morning, until a scream cuts through the silence. 

 

Yoona screams like it was death.

 

As if on instinct, Yuri jumps off her chair and leaves everything she’s doing behind her. To hell with work and to hell with coffee. All she knows right now is she needs to get to where the cry came from. Yuri runs to Yoona and even almost stumbles.

 

"Yoona! Where are you?! I'm coming!" Her voice was filled with panic that was never expected from her person, but it was there. She almost went on all fours when she lunged forward, only to see Yoona standing at the door with her jaw ajar with a deep blue envelope on her hands. 

 

"Honey." her voice cracks, quite petrified by whatever she was holding.

 

"Oh, fuck. Yoona, you scared the shit out of me!" her complain came more a relief than annoyance.

 

"Ishuri Asia. The Deepest Shades of You is nominated for the Golden Plume in The Ishuri!" Yoona's hands shake as she gives the deep blue envelope to her wife. Yuri flips the package and see’s the iconic gilded logo of the writing feather. 

 

Once upon a time, they dreamed of working together in a film that contained their hopes and their dreams. Once upon a time, Yoona swore that she’ll score an award in one of the largest and most prestigious film academies in Asia. It might not be as big as the Cannes but films that go through BIFF (Busan International Film Fest) and the Ishuri Asia Film Academies are most likely to end up in bigger places. 

 

The Deepest Shades of You was nominated for several awards even if they’re just trying to score Best Screenplay in the New Feature Films Category. Hell, it was even nominated for the biggest award of the event.

 

It was crazy to even think of getting nominated. What’s crazier is the fact that it’s happening. So Yuri reacts to it with the only way she knew how — Yuri screams like it was death. 

 

\---

 

“Sana, it’s my sister’s birthday on Saturday,” Dahyun says loudly over the sound of the shower and whatever is on TV. “Intimate gathering and she’s kind of expecting you to be there. Be my plus one?” 

 

“What?” there was a squeak, most probably the shower knob, then the sound of water subsided. 

 

“It’s Taeyeon’s birthday. We’re gonna celebrate in Gyeonggi-do. I’m bringing you as my date.” Dahyun swiped up on her phone, checking on how she’d compromise the remaining schedules that she have for that specific weekend. 

 

“As your date? I mean, she kind of said that she wanted me to be there. So.. I’m invited which makes you my plus one.” 

 

“Sana, we’re family. Family don’t get invites. It’s an unspoken rule.” 

 

“You only say that because you’re jealous.” Sana steps out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around her dripping body. “So, yes. I have a party on Saturday. Be my plus one?” 

 

“You sure you don’t wanna ask my neighbor?” Dahyun bit her lip as she giggled. 

 

“That’s like a week ago and I’ve washed my hands.” Sana walks over to Dahyun’s side of bed. At this point, Sana’s room had all sorts of areas reserved for Dahyun as if confusing themselves with The This is not enough. She gets the side of the bed farthest from the door. It’s a spot where the daylight spills through the windows and showers over Sana’s features every morning. A prime real estate bed spot, if you ask Dahyun. “You’re the only one I’m asking so please say yes because I don’t want to go alone.” 

 

“You sure? I have this feeling that you won’t have a problem because you make it seem like they like you more than me.” Dahyun looks at Sana’s eyes as the other girl strokes her chin up to face her. 

 

“That may be right, but I like you more.” A soft quick kiss. “What should we get her, then?” 

 

That Saturday, Sana met Dahyun’s family for the first time. She was introduced as just Sana. It may not be as precise as what they have now, but it doesn’t deny what they have either. 

 

And it scared Dahyun. 

 

Most especially when she watched everyone growing to like the charming girl who is sweetly conversing with her mother. It wasn’t difficult for Sana to blend in and it warmed Dahyun’s heart that Sana was welcomed as family. She shared their jokes, shared their food, and most especially, she shared parts of herself that Dahyun only knew. 

 

She shared with them the most honest parts of herself. Not Movie Sana. Not TV Sana. And it made Dahyun want to believe that this is becoming really serious. 

 

**[Bleep]**

 

Dahyun glanced at her phone to see who messaged. She swiped up only once then locked her phone again. 

 

**[Bleep. Bleep.]**

 

“Who’s texting you at my party. Sana is here. So who’s that?” Taeyeon walks in from the kitchen carrying two trays of hors d'oeuvres on each hand. 

 

“Manager Chun.” Dahyun waved her hand over her lips. “Work stuff. You need help with that?” 

 

Taeyeon beams and gives her the heavier tray. Obviously. Because that’s what older siblings do. So, like the grudging younger sister that she is, she shoves her phone into her back pocket and joined in the rest of the family.

 

On her phone, her manager messages her again.

 

**[Manager Chun]:**

 

The Deepest Shades scored Ishuri.

We need to talk ASAP.

 

\---

 

Eureka is a word most commonly attributed to Archimedes when he discovered the physics of water displacement. According to the myth, he was taking a bath when he suddenly cried out ‘Eureka!’ and most probably waking up the immediate vicinity. Much like how Sana is being rudely awakened at eight in the morning by a voice so familiar, it almost sounded like a work day.

 

“Minatozaki Sana!” the voice boomed and echoed outside her room. If this is her Eureka moment, Sana doesn’t want to discover that the mass thrusted into the water is equivalent to the water upthrusted for displacement. 

 

“What?” she mumbles groggily, covering her whole being with the blanket in irritation. 

 

“I’m gonna barge into your room!” 

 

“Do not even try, I will shoot you!”

 

“Korea has strict gun laws that you can’t even own a water gun so jokes on you. I’m coming in!” the voice came closer to the door. 

 

When the door opens, Sana curls up into a ball and hisses at the sight of Jeongyeon. No, she doesn’t hate her manager. She just hates the fact that she’s losing sleep.

 

In her head, she’s cursing the fact that sleep is slowly leaving her like a lover (see: Dahyun)  stepping out of bed. So to whatever this is, this should better be worth it.

 

“Sana.” Jeongyeon is slightly panting. “The Deepest Shades of You is nominated in the Ishuri. We’re going to Busan.”

 

“What?” Sana unveiled herself from the blanket and quickly sat up. “What?!” 

 

“Sana, holy shit we made it!”  

 

\---

 

"This is the dream, Yuri." Yoona places her hand over the first manuscript of The Deepest Shades of You. It was stained, folded, beat up, and torn. Just like all the dreams that one keeps close in their hearts. "You know what happens after this, right?" 

 

"Yes." Yuri nods slowly. 

 

"Promise me, Yuri." 

 

"Have I ever broken a promise to you?" 

 

"No." Yoona says between sad laughters. "You never did. It will only be me." 

 

"Yoona, don't say that. Please?" 

 

"Promise me that you will see through the series. Til the very last one." 

 

"I promise." 

 

"No matter how it will make you feel, you will direct the next films. Sooyoung will help you but I need you to make all of this happen. Okay?" 

 

"Anything for you." 

 

"For us, Yuri. For us. I cannot rob you of what you want to become. Be the dreamer that I fell in love with. And in return, I promise you that I will never let you forget."

 

“I won’t forget. I promise.” Yuri places the script on her lap as their plane taxied into the tarmac. 

 

Tonight, they’re flying into the mainland, meet their friends, and celebrate the dreams that are coming to life. Then, they'll head off into one of the most prestigious movie events in Asia.

 

\---

 

Stars and movie makers alike waltz over the red carpet, glittered and glamoured with flashes of cameras around them. Sharp tuxedos, elegant dresses, and cheers from the fans are not new to Sana anymore. But what’s new is how Dahyun held on to the fold of Sana’s elbow as they walked their way through the length of the carpet. 

 

It has always been Sana holding onto the arms of a male co-lead or with another male actor who’s never involved in the movie that she starred alone in. So having Dahyun right beside her is a dream that surprisingly came true.

 

It was actually Dahyun’s idea to walk in together with Sana as the escort. She said that it’s all about staying true to what their movie believed in. But Dahyun would also lie if she said that some part of her isn’t giddy about the fact that they’re walking in together like a couple. 

 

Sana isn’t the one to complain, though. This is so much better than all her red carpet experiences and Jeongyeon can attest to that. 

 

“You look so beautiful.” Sana leans a bit closer as they both waved for the cameras. At this point, they’re just gonna be tagged as close friends by the stupid media so they might as well catch 

 

“Stop making me blush in front of all these people.” Dahyun answered between her teeth as she smiled to hide what she was saying. “It’s already too difficult for me to not kiss you right now.”

 

“Sorry.” Sana smiles at her again. “I just had to. Couldn’t help it.”

 

Oh Sehun and Kim Jiwon made their entrances as hosts for the 19th IAFA. Irene Bae was also there, making Sana and Dahyun laugh subtly when they were reminded of that certain day. They also managed to take a picture with the kid wonder Son Chaeyoung, as her movie Augustus: Mystery of the Eleventh Hour was also nominated. 

 

“Oh my god! Guys!” Mina was the first to greet them with a hug when they joined the rest of their movie’s entourage. 

 

“Ain’t this a reunion.” Sana boasts as she hugs both Writer Im and her wife Yuri. They both looked elegant tonight, especially with Yuri who wore a coat and her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. 

 

“It’s always great to see the both of you.” Yoona says. “And to whatever happens tonight, we’re expecting everyone in Sooyoung’s hotel room for the after party. I hope that you guys drink?” she bobs her brows, already knowing the answer to her question. 

 

“If it’s just water, Writer Im, we’re not interested.” Dahyun leans into the group. Her arms tightening around Sana’s. 

 

\---

 

“And the Golden Plume goes to..” 

 

The drum roll sounds and the deafening silence settled in Yoona’s table. Kim Jiwon mischievously pauses as she opened the envelope, eliciting a tensed laughter from the audience. 

 

Under the table, Yuri holds Yoona’s hand tightly. As tightly as Dahyun held on Sana’s.

 

“The Ishuri Golden Plume goes to The Deepest Shades of You!” 

 

The Ishuri theme plays but no one in their table was hearing it. Everyone, including Dahyun and Sana, stands up quickly, forgetting holding hands and caution. Yuri and Sooyoung envelops Yoona in a tight hug as she finally let herself release the tension that she never knew she was holding. 

 

It was just hard work, and limited resources, and people who tried their best to make the ends meet. It wasn’t just a film that they won. It’s an entire dream. 

 

“Every once in a while, humanity faces challenges that do not force them to change against nature, but to change themselves for it. We have a physics graduate working with us in the movie. Our very own Minatozaki Sana. And she told us about how Galileo once postulated that our world was not the center of the universe. He was judged and tried for it. He paid the price. And now, almost five hundred years later, we would now know that what he speaks of is true. 

 

If that is the case, then how much do we perceive as wrong can be challenged as right all along? The Deepest Shades of You was never a film. It was an idea that came from an old ideal that is still battling its way into acceptance. It tells a story of a love that was perceived wrong and a society that was too young to accept it. It is a dream for young men and women who love in their owns ways in their own truths and long for a happily ever after as they all say what Lin Manuel Miranda once said: Love is love is love is love is love and it cannot be killed or swept aside.

 

We hope, that in this recognition, we get to wake up one morning free to love whoever we choose to do so. 

 

I would like to thank IAFA for this opportunity. My wife Yuri, who has poured her life to me and this film. I can say I love you ‘til the day I die and still feel that it won’t be enough. To my best friend and our director, Choi Sooyoung, you’re the sister that I’ve always wished for and this is a win for you as it is for me. Lastly, to all the people that worked for this film and turned it into a magnificent reality, I hope that you realize how much you let others continue to be courageous. 

 

Thank you so so much!”

 

Yoona raises the award, and the crowd roars as they gave her a standing ovation. Sana didn’t know when she started crying but she cannot help but feel the words that their writer shared. 

 

The This, in all of its beauty and pain was made to be The This because they are both scared on what can happen if they made it real. The quick silent maths and the probabilities might not be exact but she cannot dismiss them as untrue as well. But no, she cannot give this up. For the first time in a long while, she felt genuinely happy with someone and she fears that she might never have something like this ever again. 

 

So, as she hid behind their whole entourage, she finds Dahyun’s hand and laced her fingers between hers. Familiar warmth and softness of skin invades her senses and it brings her back to the reality of things. No, she can never give this up. 

 

\---

 

They both knew it will end up like this.

 

The elated emotions have made them susceptible to the trappings of wanting and needing. It didn’t help at all that they both looked like gorgeous art pieces waiting to be appreciated up close. Sana would be lying if she didn’t anticipate this when she noticed that Dahyun’s hand never left her lap for the entire night. When it got the chance, it would draw soft circles of the fabric of her dress then she would stop Dahyun by putting her hand over hers.

 

Dahyun was too tempting when she invited Sana over to her hotel room and asked her for ‘help’ in unzipping her dress. Sana would oblige, of course, carefully pulling down the small metal implement. It slowly revealed Dahyun’s porcelain complexion that’s so soft, Sana’s finger glides when she traced the other girl’s spine. 

 

And damn, even with the gentleness of  Sana’s touch, tingling and electrifying sensation crawled up the length of Dahyun’s back. It was more than enough to force out a soft moan from Dahyun’s wanting lips. 

 

“Shhh. Easy now.” Sana giggled as she pressed a finger over Dahyun’s mouth. The other girl kissed and sucked on it until she had to look over her shoulder and whisper.

 

“Shower. Now.” 

 

There are things that you rush and there are things that you bask your lips into. Shower was efficient and all business but once Dahyun crawls on top of Sana, it’s an entirely different marathon. Dahyun starts a trail of soft kisses on Sana’s ear. It made it’s excruciating slow progress down to her jaw, with a little bit of tongue marking the skin with wet patches. Sana takes a lungful of air when Dahyun’s other set of fingers grazed over Sana’s panties. Sensitive buds are helpless against touch. Most especially teasing ones. Like a stray summer wind enveloping your nakedness. 

 

Dahyun does it again. This time, the tips of her fingers lightly scratched over the spot where Sana’s sex was the weakest. 

 

“Aw, fuck.” her bundle of nerves swelled as the ticklish pleasure began to build up. A mischievous giggle pierced through the darkness of the night and Sana was pissed that she was so helpless against it. 

 

Dahyun goes in for another go. And when Sana tried to gasp for air, Dahyun quickly filled her lips with a wet delicious kiss. Lips part as it thirsted for air, and Dahyun took this chance to slither her tongue in. Sana tastes so so good and Dahyun is only just talking about the kiss. 

 

“The moonlight never gives you justice.” she breathed into Sana’s ear. “You’re the most beautiful thing.” 

 

Sana’s hold tightened, squeezing Dahyun’s sides. The pent up wanting was obvious and Dahyun wants to release all of it at once. Her nail traced circles on Sana’s abs which made her sex throb in wild anticipation. Then, as Dahyun nibbled and sucked on Sana’s neck, she sneakily snakes her hand under Sana’s lace underwear. 

 

They’ve done this a dozen of times before but Sana’s body never really found a way to brace itself from Dahyun’s touch. The searing feeling of Dahyun thumb circling over her bud made it so easy for her thoughts to be reduced in a hum of burning pleasure. 

 

“Dahyun. Ah!” she moaned and her body arches up. Dahyun took her nipple into her lips and teasingly flicked it with the tip of her tongue. The only thing Sana could do is surrender. She lightly bunches Dahyun’s hazel locks and she surrenders. 

 

(In her head, Sana is screaming: “I’m one of the sexiest young stars alive! Why am I so weak against this!” 

 

But it was Dahyun. The Dahyun who fucks her until her legs turn to mush and the same Dahyun who’d kiss her good morning.)

 

There’s only one person that could make her thirst like this as if she never tasted water in her lips. Her mouth is so parched she drank Dahyun’s kiss and let it melt together with her tongue. As the walls of her dripping sex tightened around Dahyun’s fingers, she slithered her own into the other girls throbbing slit. 

 

A mischievous smile curved up against the kiss because damn, Dahyun is also soaked and wanting. So when she hooks her finger inside and curled it in a come-hither, Dahyun had to break off the kiss just to let out a sweet moan of pleasure. 

 

Sana is her first, and she wanted her to be her next. And the next one after this. And then the next one like how she called out for Sana’s name over and over and over until her breath runs out and she drowns in the building ecstasy in her core. 

 

“I— I’m coming.” Dahyun says in hitched breaths when it’s becoming all too much. “Sana.” the name rolls off her hot breath like sweet chocolate. She feels her knees buckle and so she returns the favor to make them come at the same time. She jams in a bit more harder. A bit more faster. 

 

“Let go.” Sana kisses Dahyun’s ear. “I’m here. Let go.”

 

Truer words have never been said and ‘I’m here’ is the closest thing that Sana could say to make Dahyun feel loved, because those three words felt like a hammer that would build or would break. 

 

Sana watches as Dahyun chases her finish. If the moonlight doesn’t give Sana justice, then the moonlight can never compete with Dahyun’s beauty. She bites her lip and moans, and when they both crash into their orgasms, their heads float into a blend of pleasure and warm happiness. They cannot deny how much they wanted this moment to last forever. And you can see it in their eyes, glazed with lust and painted with love. 

 

When Dahyun falls on top of Sana, she catches the small kiss that landed softly on her chest. She catches Dahyun’s fall when she collapses with the pure taste of heaven. 

 

And as for Sana, she’s also falling, and she’s falling deep. So deep that she’s becoming dizzy with the comedown of her own greyscaled feelings.

 

“Please don’t break my heart.” Sana pleaded quietly into the darkness of the night. “Fuck, don’t break my heart.” 

 

Sana knew that when you get so high in love, it would take everything you are to pick up the pieces when things fall apart.

 

\---

 

It begins with the IAFA win. 

 

While Sana and Dahyun are already famous in their own right, the win at the IAFA made significant boosts in their current careers. The people suddenly wanted to see more of Sana and more of Dahyun. So much so that Dahyun’s drama Dreamers continued to rack up the fanbase while Sana heads out to meet the producers of a sci-fi film. 

 

As The Deepest Shades of You prepares to be shown in mainstream cinemas, the two suddenly found themselves in TV shows to promote the film together. They went to variety shows together and played the same games together. Their undeniable chemistry would manifest itself in a lot of ways like how Dahyun would place a blanket over Sana’s bare thighs when her dress is a bit short for convenience. Or how Sana shows how good she takes care of Dahyun through simple gestures like blowing off food to cool it off (they had this show where they had to eat), or hold her hand when she’s tensing up on questions.

 

Guessing games are also easier when they use their own private jokes to get the answers right. It would usually make their opponents dumbfounded on how they could burn through the questions easier than the others and it makes them almost think twice of their assumptions on being just friends.

 

(In a Taboo game where Star Wars became a word. Dahyun said: “Your favorite. You would sulk if I say it’s not good.” 

 

“Star Wars!” 

 

“Correct!” the host calls out. 

 

“Uhh.. uhh..” Dahyun rolls her wrists to pace her brain in thinking. “You said that this is like a hot sink. No, no, no! A lava table!” 

 

“Teppanyaki!” Sana recalls when they had a dinner date one time and Sana kept saying that the little meats should not step on the table because it’s lava.

 

“Whoa!” everyone jumped off their seats as the two finished the entire bonus round with a second to spare. 

 

IU wanted to ask how Dahyun knows that Sana sulks when someone says that her favorite movie isn’t the better choice and maybe their show ended with something more productive, but trust here co-hosts for saying idiotic statements first like: “You’re such a guy, Sana. Star Wars are for guys.” 

 

IU’s eyes wanted to roll back so hard she’d see her brain but Sana only dismissed it with “No, it isn’t. I think it’s for everyone who likes science and spaceships.”)

 

It didn’t stop there. They took the promotions phase as an opportunity to guise their dates as hanging out, sharing photos on IG and Twitter when one of them visits the other one’s set. Sana was seen twice in the set of Dreamers and Dahyun reportedly visited Sana for her commercial shot for Laneige. 

 

**[Koreaboo] Sana and Dahyun prove that they’re friendship goals**

 

“In a recent interview, Sana revealed that she has a close relationship with Dahyun.” Jeongyeon reads the article. The contents of which were already known to her since last week. “Good thing, these are blind idiots in denial. But I need you to be more careful.” 

 

Jeongyeon was looking at a picture of Dahyun laughing to whatever Sana was whispering into her ear. It’s all harmful fun if anyone sees it as just someone telling a seemingly private joke to a friend but Sana was almost kissing the spot beside Dahyun’s ear.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I know.” Sana whined as she laid her head back on her seat. “It’s not like we got caught or something.” 

 

“Are we going to wait until that happens?” Jeongyeon tilts her head towards Sana but only enough so she can see the girl in her peripherals. 

 

“No.” Sana answered blandly, and it didn’t sit well with the manager. Not because Sana sounded like she doesn’t want being reprimanded, but more of why she’s answering like this in the first place.

 

“Sana,” Jeongyeon clears her throat. “I’m not against this, okay? I know that she makes you happy and I know that this is something that you’ve been waiting for a long time. I just don’t want the both of you getting sucked into unnecessary stress. Let’s keep things private.”

 

“Alright.” 

 

“Good.” 

 

“Thanks, Jeongie.” 

 

The manager smiles. 

 

“No problem.”

 

\---

  
  


It was not the same in Dahyun’s side of town. 

 

Two figures stood about two arms length away from each other on the rooftop of the agency’s building. Dahyun was looking over the glittering evening cityscape while her manager sat on one of the benches, nursing her cup of coffee with both hands. 

 

“Dahyun. Tell me the truth. What’s going on between you and Sana?”

 

“Why? What are you going to do about it?” Dahyun asks, uninterested. 

 

“I think it’s about time to stop thinking that I’m the enemy here. Because as far as I’m concerned, I’m the one who told you that your plan is actually a bad idea.” She takes a sip off her cup then continued when Dahyun didn’t answer. “And with how things are going, I bet you haven’t told Sana.”

 

“You will not tell her anything!” Dahyun slightly snaps in panic, also surprising herself in the process. But her manager remains unflinched and just watched her from behind her tilted cup.

 

“When are you going to explain it to her?” she asks. Dahyun was really meaning to tell Sana the truth. She promised herself to tell Sana what her plan was and how it got blown off course when she suddenly found herself knee deep in confused feelings. That between the parts of going out on dates and sleeping together, she managed to get lost into the greyscales of flirting and loving. 

 

Her sister has always told her that she has a knack of jumping into things without thoroughly thinking about them, and yet, she refused to listen. That is, until her own mistakes stared at her right in the eyes with a ticking time bomb that would definitely tear apart The This.

 

“Just give me more time, okay?” Dahyun pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ll tell her everything.”

 

“Dahyun, your plan ends after Ishuri and after The Deepest Shades. Time is something that I cannot give you.” manager takes another sip. “They just talked to me yesterday about what’s going on and they wanted to cut Sana out of the picture.”

 

“They can’t.” 

 

“They can and they will. It’s part of your plan, remember? Don’t wait for this to blow up in your face.” Manager Chun stood up  and started making her way towards the door. “Again, I’m not your enemy here Dahyun.”

 

\---

 

“Thank you all so much for your hard work!”  Sana bowed politely to everyone as she bid them goodbye. One perk of being in love is when you find yourself working much more efficiently so that you’d have more time to go to your significant other. It only took her around three hours or so to finish the shoots for another commercial, so now she has more free time to visit Dahyun. “Jeongie, I’m going to the set of Dreamers. I can drop you off  your house if you want to.” 

 

“Of course you’ll go to Dahyun.” Jeongyeon yawns. “Do you mind if I come with? You see, I can’t really tell if your day is going to end early or not because it depends entirely on how inspired you are. Meaning, I can’t meet Mina right now because unlike you, we have schedules. I’ll stay with you for a couple of hours then I’ll drive Mina home.” 

 

“Sounds like a plan. Not gonna treat you dinner, though.” Sana says as she texts Dahyun. 

 

“Not asking you to. I have a girlfriend who treats me well. She actually pays for me sometimes.” 

 

“Wow, please do not tell me that you’re saying that to make me feel bad because shit, Mina is paying for you.” Sana laughs. 

 

“She gets to pay for dinner, then I get to make her pancakes in the morning. Give and take. You know? Just couple-things.” her manager puts her hands behind her head as she slouched back on her seat. “That’s something you won’t understand yet because, well,” Jeongyeon did not even minced her words. “You haven’t figured out what this is yet.” 

 

“Wow, you are a bitch. You know that?” Sana kicks Jeongyeon’s seat so hard, the manager’s head bounced off the chair. 

 

“Ow! What the fuck!” 

 

“I just don’t want to rush us, okay? It’s not like I wanted for this set up to stay like this forever.” the actress sinks down in her chair and continues to text. “I can’t scare her off.”

 

“All I’m saying is, being a couple and being an ambiguous couple are two different things with the same risks as far as your careers are concerned. You gotta gamble wiser here, Sana.” 

 

“I thought you don’t like us being together?” Sana opens her palms with her tone hinting an accusation. 

 

“I told you that I’m not fully okay but I’m okay with it. Besides, you told me that you’ll figure this out just until the movie promotions end, and now, the movie is done. It’s a success. Mainstream ticket sales are good. We’re are crunching our way through additional endorsements and you just landed the main lead for Dead Space. This is me helping you figure this out, Sana.”

 

“And this would help me how?” Sana raised her brow with her tone unchaning.

 

“Be a secret couple. Tell her that you love her. If things work out or not, at least you’re honest with her and yourself.” 

 

Sana would’ve said something after this but her thoughts were already flooded too much to even function. In a way, Jeongyeon is right. It’s like being late for thirty minutes versus being late by three, to which the punishment is still the same. And if tardiness is a forgivable sin, then she still wins. Specifically by an extra thirty minutes.

 

“I’ll think about it.” 

 

“You sure about that?” 

 

“Fine. I’ll tell her tonight.” 

 

“Atta girl.” Jeongyeon nods in satisfaction. “Mina and I tried this restaurant last Saturday. I’ll hook you up with a reservation.”

 

“Beckett down by Gangnam?” Sana confirmed.

 

“Yeah, yeah. The one owned by what’s her name? The one in Way Back to Love?”

 

“Suzy Bae! I love that girl.” Sana cheered. “Although, as my manager, I need you to get your celebrity know-how together.” Sana dismisses the conversation while she left an invitation to the only girl that she actually loves. Not only in an admiring way, but also in its own imperfections and challenges.

 

\---

 

They reached the set of Dahyun’s drama after an hour. The traffic is a bitch and it almost made Sana walk the rest of the way. It also didn’t help that the entrance to the street was lined up with black cars that occupied a lane. 

 

“Who the fuck?” Sana cranes her neck impatiently. 

 

“Wait, these cars are from Exus Entertainment. That’s Dahyun’s agency.” Jeongyeon looks at the cars as they drove past them.

 

“Huh.” Sana just shrugged at the sight as she was much more irritated with the hassle. “Yup, that’s Dahyun’s coaster alright.”

 

They both went down and walked into the production area where the staff greeted Sana. It didn’t surprise Jeongyeon when she realized how familiar these people are with Sana. It only confirmed her suspicions that her client has been spending a whole lot of time in this place. 

  
  


\---

 

Dahyun was huddled with the director and the producers, sharing a few tips and how the next scenes should be played. No one really had a problem working with a talented Dahyun so it was just all smiles and jokes, and the actress taking down notes on what she should do. It’s a Sana thing to do— taking down notes, but it was one of a few habits she picked up in the amount of time that they’re together. 

 

She looks at her phone after a long while and was quite relieved when she caught on one of Sana’s recent texts. It was sent an hour ago but the effect is still as strong when she realized that she had this stupid grin painted on her face.

 

She texts her reply and looks up when she heard her manager call for her. Their eyes meet but the older woman did not say anything. She just nodded her head towards her left and so Dahyun’s eyes pan and follows.

 

Her smile quickly disappears.

 

Looking at her were the higher officers of her agency. They never really bothered going to their artists gigs unless it’s really necessary so their presence did not really sit well with Dahyun. 

 

Maybe her manager wasn’t joking when she said that they don’t have time. 

 

“I’ve been hearing great things about you from the producers.” one of the men nods in satisfaction. 

 

“Thank you. They have been really encouraging and helpful.” Dahyun offers a routine answer. 

 

“More of this and maybe you’d really take off as an artist.” 

 

Dahyun can’t really say but she knew she saw her manager’s brow furrow in disbelief for a quick second.

 

“Which brings me to why we’re here.” the older man tucks his hands inside his pockets. “We talked to the CEO and he wants updates on your little plan. I have to hand it to you kid, you played it well. I never really thought that it’s going to work.” 

 

“I think we can discuss this tomorrow after Dahyun and I are done here.” Manager Chun retaliates but still bows politely nonetheless. 

 

“You really think that we’d be here if this can wait until tomorrow? You’ve wasted enough time Woohee.“

 

“Dahyun has been busy with—”

 

“Yes. Which is why we want you to stop with this little game. We get it, okay? We were wrong and now we’re here reaping the rewards. We just want what’s best for you Dahyun and we fear that if the media catches on to whatever this is, they might get the wrong idea and persecute you for it.”  

 

“I can handle this.” 

 

“No, Dahyun. End this now and let Sana off the hook. We don’t want altercations with her management. Unless you got in too deep and lied to us about this plan?” 

 

She could feel her nails dig into her skin as she balled her fists tightly. Behind her pursed lips, her teeth gritted in anger on how these people could even think that Sana is disposable. If she could get them to back off for a little while, then maybe she and Sana would have the time to fix this situation to their favor. 

 

So Dahyun did the first thing that comes to mind — letting them hear whatever shit they want to hear. 

 

“No, I’m not in love with her. It’s part of the plan.” words were spat out between gritted teeth, but she will not let that show. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow about it.” 

 

“Dahyun—” Manager Chun snapped her gaze towards Dahyun but before she could even say anything, the representatives started moving out. 

 

“Good. We don’t want you to get into trouble. What would the people think if you actually fell in love with a girl.” the older man chuckled at the stupidity of it, “We just want the best for you.” 

 

A part of Dahyun wanted to be sick when she watched the representatives walk away from them. Blatantly lying to them is something that she can stomach any day but to blatantly lie to herself and her feelings for Sana, it’s something else entirely.  It made her hate herself for a moment because Sana deserved the world and her words did not reflect any of that. 

 

But it won’t matter. With how this conversation transpired, she knew what she had to do. Just like Sana, she’ll never give this up. 

 

She turns her back to the group and began marching back to the huddle. As she walked past one of the trees, a familiar voice called out. The same voice that says Dahyun’s name like it was a song. The same voice that pleaded that she misses Dahyun. The same voice that moaned in long nights of making love.

 

The same voice that belonged to the person that should not be standing this close to the conversation that just concluded. 

 

“You should’ve told me that this is all just a game because I was sure as hell I wasn’t acting.” Sana speaks, looking into the hazel eyes that consumed her being. Dahyun’s heart clenches and sinks because here it is — the ticking time bomb just exploded, blowing up everything that made up The This. 

 

_ No. Sana, no. No!  _

 

“Sana.” Dahyun was lost for words. For all the times that she needed to say things, this certain moment drained her of all the words that she could ever muster. “I— I can— I can explain!”

 

She could feel her hands shaking and her knees buckling because she swore that Sana’s eyes were different tonight. The constellations were gone. There were only storms, and hatred, and broken hopes.

 

“Save it.” Sana looks away and pushes her back off the tree.

 

Sana never spoke this conclusive before. More so, she never turned her back to Dahyun ever. So when she did it for the first time, Dahyun was too stunned to even make chase. 

 

On the other side of the set, the production crew were calling out to her to start the next shots. She glanced at them, panic fused in her eyes, because when she looked back to Sana, she was already walking so far away from her. She gestured for them to wait for a while then she quickly ran to where Sana is going. 

 

“Sana! Wait!” Dahyun desperately calls out as she tried to catch Sana’s arm but she doesn’t slow down. “Sana! Please! Listen to me first!” 

 

Sana only yanked her arm away from Dahyun and it really hurts because how did it come to this — where it changed from Sana liking it whenever she touches her to Sana trying her best so Dahyun could never touch her skin. 

 

Dahyun finally sprints and pulls Sana’s arms again, finally turning her into a stop. Sana is her first, and it was kind of fucked up that she was the first heart that Dahyun’s going to break. 

 

“What the hell do you want?” Sana’s voice was seething. "You said it yourself! You don't have feelings for me! That this is all part of the plan!"

 

"I had to lie because they want me to break it off with you!" Sana can’t miss the desperation in Dahyun’s voice but then again, they’re both talented actress who can pull this kind of lie without even trying. 

 

"So what part do you expect me to believe? Holy shit, Dahyun. I'm a fucking physics graduate but never in my life have I felt so stupid until now!" she yanks her wrist off from Dahyun’s grip. 

 

"Sana, I love you! Just hear me out!" Dahyun admits, her voice cracking as she did. 

 

"Was this a plan or not?! Answer me honestly or I swear to god, Kim Dahyun!"  Sana did not heed Dahyun’s confession. In her head, all of these words meant nothing especially with the amount of contradiction that she heard for the last five minutes. Dahyun knew that Sana only wants the truth. Her eyes pleaded and she deserves to know.

 

"Yes it was." Dahyun’s shoulder drops along with her breath.

 

"So which one is fucking which?" Sana forced out a laughter and shrugged. Dahyun wanted to beg her to stay, at until the end of work. Then maybe, just maybe, she could explain that what she felt was real. But before she could even ask, Sana ‘s voice cracked when she spoke.

 

“Let’s stop this.” 

 

It took the entirety of Sana to even muster the strength to say those words, and she had to, to save whatever’s left of her heart.

 

“Please, Sana. No. Not like this.” Dahyun begged. 

 

Not like this, because this shouldn’t have ended today like Dahyun thought it would.

 

Not like this, because stupid plans yielded stupid results that Dahyun ran away from.

 

Not like this, because it is true that Dahyun loves Sana more than anything else and the only way she thought of ending this was death tearing them apart. 

 

But this is their reality. The fuse was set and the bomb went off without giving them a chance to make things work. What started as a mundane practice session for lines became so much more than they can chew, and now they had to pay for the price. 

 

The This has ended. The They is no more. They were so high in love, but now, they’re going dizzy at the come down.

 

\---

 

Yuri takes off her glasses as she was finishing up her work. Quiet afternoons usually consists of her working their family business and some consultation while Yoona busies herself in preparing dinner. 

 

The Ishuri win obviously lifted both their spirits considering that things were not really going their way for the past couple of years. It’s hard not to think about Yoona’s diagnosis that it made Yuri quit directing for a while. Yoona didn’t want her, though, because she doesn’t want to hold Yuri back. Most especially that the prognosis is not optimistic.

 

So when the silence of the afternoon was disturbed by the sound of a shattering glass, Yuri jumps off her chair and rushes to where it came from. 

 

“Yoona!” she calls out in panic. When there was no answer, she felt her stomach get tied up into knots. “Where are you? Yoona! Oh my god—” 

 

She quickly went down on her knees to pick her unconscious wife and dialled the 119 through her cellphone. 

 

“Honey, wake up.” she says when her phone clicks and a voice responds. “Help me. Please! My wife’s unconscious and her breathing is really shallow. Yoona, I’m here. Wake up for me. Please.” she then proceeds to give out their address but in between the phone call, her voice shatters and booms when she realized that Yoona is not waking up. “Just send someone! Please! Just send someone here! Baby, can you hear me?” 

 

She gently shakes Yoona by the shoulder, but she only dangles limply. Like a dead thing. 

 

When Sooyoung and Nana arrived at Daejang-do through a 7 PM flight, they immediately went to Yuri’s house like how she instructed them to. The lights were out when they walked into the yard and Pluto is awfully quiet as well. 

 

Like Jeongyeon to Sana, Sooyoung has a set of spare keys ever since her best friends got married but she never imagined using it this way. 

 

The door creaks open, letting whatever light the night gives spill into the common area. Everything is dark, and everything is cold. Sooyoung can only imagine if this is how Yuri is feeling right now.

 

“Sooyoung.” Nana calls for the director’s attention and points at the corner of the living area. There, by the fireplace, hugging the big furball that’s Pluto, sat Yuri. And if Yuri is here and not in the hospital, it only meant one thing. 

 

“Oh my god.” Sooyoung’s voice cracks as she rushed to where her friend was cowered. “Oh my god.” as much as she wants to be strong for her friend, the tears are hard to keep out. Especially when Yuri pathetically raises her arms and asks for a hug.

 

“Sooyoung.” There is comfort in familiar warmth. The type of comfort that brings out your pains and your vulnerabilities. Yuri has always been the strong one for their group, and Yoona has always told her that she was the rock that held everything together. But even rocks are weathered by the river and even someone as strong as Yuri can be broken down. 

 

So when Sooyoung and Nana’s embrace engulfed her fully, she let herself, for the first time, to break down.

 

“She said she would never leave me. Why did she?” 

 

Sooyoung and Nana don’t have words for her. The cliches of how everything has a purpose are all lies to make everyone feel better. And right now, Yuri doesn’t need to feel better. 

 

She needs to feel loved and not alone. 

  
  


*******

 

****  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all so much for the kind words. Again and again, we keep doing what we’re doing because you inspire us to do so. To those who upvoted and believed in this story, a thousand thanks to you guys as well! It will never be enough but thank you so so much! We hope that you stick with us til the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Apologies again for the late update. Work and life are being a bitch and I had to juggle a lot of things at once. But I assure you, I’m not gonna abandon this story. Please know that I will be working on finishing this with all the patches of free time that I have. Again, thank you so much for sticking around.
> 
>  
> 
> Questions!
> 
>  
> 
> Q: Who is the royal We/Us?
> 
> A: Our two-man writing team!
> 
> Writer: Hi, it's me. Charlie (ao3: superfrito /  aff: candysoojung / twitter: superfritobae)
> 
> The Bestest Beta: TKYbee (Hates tense inconsistencies, loves em dash)
> 
>  
> 
> TKYbee had to endure my first grammatical errors and the first to jump in the angst, so thank you so much!
> 
>  
> 
> Q: You’re saying a lot of movie and drama titles.
> 
> A: These are all fictional! And random cameos are fun!
> 
>  
> 
> Q: How much time do you spend writing?
> 
> A: It depends on the time that I have available. Usually a 10k chapter gets around 2-3 weekends.


	6. Part 6: Aristotle, Aristotle!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An object at rest remains at rest until an outside force is acted upon it. Basic Laws of Motion that one would never think can apply to something else.

**Aristotle, Aristotle!**

**Part 6**

* * *

 

  
  


“Yuri!” 

 

Another day, another chance for Yoona to wake Yuri up with a nag.

 

“What?” Yuri whines groggily as she threw another pillow over her head. If waking up early is any semblance of being a responsible adult, then Yuri is lagging behind in a lot of ways. It’s one of her reasons for marrying Yoona anyways —  to make sure that her life doesn’t fall apart when she decides to not wake up early in all the days. 

 

“Five more minutes.” Yuri bargains.

 

Yoona succeeds in keeping things in order. And all that’s left to do for Yuri is to stay level headed and calm in every major decision. And in between those, it’s just more of Yuri doing whatever Yoona asks, except of course, waking up when she actually needs to.

 

“You said that five minutes ago!” Yoona’s voice echoes from outside their room. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

 

There are days when Yuri thinks she won’t survive if Yoona never crashed into her life. She’s not even awake yet but her food is already waiting for her downstairs. Not to mention an eager wife that would definitely start her day with a kiss then complain about Yuri’s breath right after. No complaining from Yuri’s side though, because as much as she wants to be left in peace for five more minutes, her heart is always excited about seeing her wife and how the sunshine touches her face.

 

It gives Yuri comfort to know that Yoona would be there. Like leaving shore knowing that when she wakes up tomorrow, there’d be land. It’s a kind of comfort that warms her in days when she’s reminded of the inevitable. 

 

So, to stop what’s imminent, she shuts her eyes close and sleeps some more.

 

“Yuri. You can’t be like this. Stay strong, even without me.” the voice comes closer like it was inside Yuri’s head. The words were clear and she could’ve sworn that she felt Yoona’s breath touching her ear. “Wake up.”

 

And just like lungs tasting air in the midst of drowning, Yuri jolts awake and sits up as if waking from a cruel fantasy. In her waking eyes, there’s only one thing she wish she’d see. To hell with breakfast and to hell with coffee. She needs to see Yoona’s eyes staring right back telling her that it’s going to be alright.

 

But it won’t. 

 

Her heart clenches and her lungs give because even if she knew she heard her wife’s voice, she finds herself alone in their room. Everything is still dark and excruciatingly quiet, as if Yoona took half of the light with her.

 

“Fuck.” 

 

Her voice breaks.

 

“Why didn’t you take me with you?” she hugs her legs close to her chest and buries her face between her knees. Her helpless bargains fall on deaf ears but she did so still, just in case anyone up there is listening. “You promised not to leave me.”

 

She knows that when she goes down, there will be no coffee, no breakfast, no morning kisses, and no Yoona. Such cruel irony, this was,  because this is the very moment where Yuri needed nothing else but Yoona. But she has gone to a place where Yuri can’t follow.

 

And even if she wakes up early from this point on, it will not be enough to stop herself from falling apart. 

 

It has been six days since she buried her wife. Six days of desperately holding herself together. 

 

Six days of falling into the abyss with no end in sight.

 

\---

  
  


In the darkness of Sana’s room, a phone lights up and Ed Sheeran’s Tenerife Sea plays. 

 

_ [Bzzzt. Bzzzt.]  _

 

A hand sticks out from under the blankets and blindly pats down on the immediate area as it was trying to find the annoying source of the sound when the device went off again. 

 

_ [Bzzzt. Bzzzt.]  _

 

The tone wasn’t actually annoying in itself, but she assigned only one person to have that specific ringtone. Never in her life did Sana imagine she’d hate a song so damn much it makes her sick.

 

_ [Bzz —-  _

 

A phone flies across the room. 

 

_ — Crack!] _

 

It crashes onto the door, shattering the screen into pieces.

 

“I said stop fucking calling me!” Sana hisses at the device with seething disgust as if being hurled at light speed wasn’t enough to make her point. 

 

A few pieces bounced and settled, Then, it was quiet again. 

 

The sun was high up in the sky at nine in the morning, but Sana’s room was almost pitch black. She didn’t even bother to slide the curtains open and finds it too tiring to do so. She rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling with tired eyes. If they are drunk with sleep or drunk with exhaustion, Sana can’t tell between the days 

 

They were swollen and deep. They looked beaten up in hours of crying. 

 

Sana was never a stranger to solitary silence, more so, the thoughts that comes with it. What was once a place for contemplating probabilities and quick math, her quiet times are almost always filled with thoughts of a certain girl with brown eyes and a crown made of hazel tresses. It was filled with thoughts of why her heart had to break, or how it had to be so soon, or how she often realizes that her heart still races in unfamiliar wanting whenever she hears or thinks about Dahyun.

 

Her stomach knots. Her heart clenches. Her arms weaken, and her vision blur when the tears threaten to spill out. 

 

Because through all of the pain, the daze, and through all of the anger that’s tearing her apart, she cannot deny that she is still missing everything that is Kim Dahyun.

 

Then, just like the past couple of weeks, the quietness is replaced by soft whimpers that turn into pathetic sobbing.

 

\---

 

There was a loud thud by Sana’s door when Mina came into the house.

 

“Where is she?” Mina spoke in soft hushed tones, as she tiptoed towards Jeongyeon. The manager was lying down on Sana’s enormous couch, still wearing the same clothes that she had from yesterday.

 

“Inside her room.” Jeongyeon sinks down in the couch and rubbed her eyes. She hasn’t slept yet, or at least that’s what Mina presumes. “That was her phone, by the way.” she spoke boastfully as if guessing whatever was thrown against the wall is something to be proud of. 

 

“How is she?” she asks, her voice mellowing down to a soft tone. 

 

“Clothed in darkness just like the past few days. And can you stop with the whispers? We’re not spies here.” Jeongyeon pats down the spot beside her to signal Mina to come over. 

 

“I am actually offended.” Mina placed her hand over her chest when she sinks down over the spot beside the manager. 

 

“What?” the manager raises a brow.

 

“By now, you should know that this is my normal speaking voice.” 

 

“Not in bed, you aren’t — Ow!” Jeongyeon groans as she nursed her shoulder. If only Mina punches as softly as her voice, Jeongyeon would not have written: ‘Where can I buy metal arms?’ on her browser page. 

 

Mina just looked at her sternly, keeping quiet for a few moments before her thin lips, ever so carefully, curves up into a smile. Jeongyeon replies with a shy smirk until they both found themselves laughing. 

 

“How are you, though?” Mina’s brows furrow a bit and it took Jeongyeon a bit off guard. The manager could only turn and look at Mina’s concerned eyes because at this moment, she was brought back to the thought that was haunting her for the past couple of days.

 

“I..” Jeongyeon starts but her voice terribly mellows with the coming answer. “I feel useless.” 

 

“Hey, you’re not.” Mina combs Jeongyeon’s hair back with her hand, frowning at the manager’s defeatist remark.

 

“It’s just that it’s my first time seeing her like this and I can’t do anything about it.” Jeongyeon replies with a heavy sigh. “Maybe except keeping work and the agency off her back for a while, and even with that task, I feel close to caving in.” Then she presses her hands against her face, covering them for a moment. Just a quick second of respite — enough to take it all in. “She usually breezes through a break up but this. Fuck, Mina. She’s eating burger while crying. Like that frickin’ James Franco meme. It’s too painful to watch and damn, all I can do is just watch.”

 

“Jeongie.” Mina whispers, for real this time. Then, she carefully pulls Jeongyeon by the neck, pressing the side of the girl’s head against her chest. Jeongyeon didn’t put up a fight and just let herself cower inside the safety of Mina’s hug. It is warm there, and quiet. Not like the thoughts that kept her awake for the past few days. “You are here when she needed you, and you are still here when she’s breaking down. Not everyone stays in moments like this and yet here you are.”

 

“She’s my best friend, Mina.” Jeongyeon’s voice cracks for a quick moment with Mina almost missing it. “I just want her to be okay.” 

 

Sana is lucky, Mina thinks. Because through the restless sea of heartbreaks and bitterness, Jeongyeon provides a solid rock made up of swallowed cries and held-back tears. As Sana fell apart one piece after the other, Jeongyeon tried her best to  make sure that all of them are emotionally capable to endure the storm that is Minatozaki Sana. 

 

But Jeongyeon is luckier, because as the manager kept her diligent vigil, Mina quietly promises to herself to make sure that someone looks after Jeongyeon. 

 

\---

 

It has been almost a week since the last time Manager Chun got a hold of Dahyun. Roughly the same time when The White Moon needed to function without or with minimal supervision from Kim Taeyeon. It has also been a week since Taeyeon was cooking dinners for two, knowing all too well that the other plate will go untouched yet again.

 

She has always told Dahyun to come home as often as she can, but she never expected that she’d be home this long and locked out from everyone else. The only time she ever sees her sister is if she goes to the bathroom to get some more tissues. It’s not as frequent, but the number of times is still more than the usual. 

 

And in these moments, Taeyeon would notice her sister’s red nose and puffy eyes. They’re deep from the lack of sleep, and strained from too much crying.

 

It’s Dahyun’s fault, at least that’s how Taeyeon decided. But nonetheless, she never really had the courage to tell this to Dahyun. So she does the next best thing that an annoying older sister would do. 

 

Two quick knocks. 

 

“Dahyun, I brought you something to eat.” she says against the door, waiting for an answer that she knew wouldn’t come. “Dahyunnie, please eat something.” 

 

It’s her first time seeing Dahyun this broken, and it’s enough for Taeyeon to figure out how much Sana meant to her sister. At first, she couldn’t believe that a person could actually make Dahyun cower into the darkest corners of her room and she wanted to be angry with Sana. Then, she would remember one thing, how is Sana even faring at this moment?

 

“Dahyun, I’m coming in.” Taeyeon carefully opens the door and immediately hears a hushed voice talking over the phone. The words were shaky and were punctuated by sobs in between. 

 

“Sana, please. I… I.. I just want to talk. Can you please just pick up?” Dahyun begged. With the littlest ounce of pride she’s left, she begged.

 

“Dahyun.” Taeyeon sighs at the sight of her sister, curled up into a ball with her phone against her ear. Dahyun has fallen into this cycle of crying, then calling and begging, only to be disappointed as her calls are either cancelled or redirected to voicemail (which has been happening to her calls very recently). And as cyclical all of these were, the pain does not come less as days pass by. It’s as painful as yesterday, or maybe even more. 

 

“Dahyun, that’s enough.” Taeyeon walks closer and grabs her sister’s phone away from her ear. 

 

“Give me that back, please.” Dahyun quickly reaches her hand out but she’s too weak to snatch it back.

 

“You need to stop this. It hurts me to see you this way.” 

 

“I just want to say that I’m sorry. I love her so much. I can’t give up just yet.” There was an unmistakable burning in Dahyun’s eyes. The fires are dim, but it’s enough to feed her persistence. Taeyeon loved that about her sister, but right now, persistence is something she should drop altogether.

 

“If Sana is not ready to talk, you should give her that space. You can’t go on like this.” Taeyeon sits right beside Dahyun and takes her in her arms. “Both of you can’t.”

 

“I fucked up.” Dahyun’s voice cracks, and the tears follow soon after. “I really fucked up this time.”

 

“Yeah.” Taeyeon would say, of course. Just like what an older sister should. 

 

She has always warned Dahyun about the risks of leaping without thinking and now, despite calling it first, Dahyun’s pieces shattered when it touched the ground.

 

It was a shitty thing to rub in, but Taeyeon needed to temper Dahyun’s verve with her own mistakes. Besides, heartbreak is never new to Kim Taeyeon, and it is her responsibility as the older Kim to see her sister through the entire thing.

 

“You really messed up, kiddo. But I’ll stay with you until you pick yourself up.” she says, just like what an older sister should.

 

\---

 

The old saying goes something like ‘Time heals all wounds’. 

 

If one would ask Physics Sana, she’d say that it’s a load of total bull. One — time is not a physical entity that sews together your broken heart. Two — nor is it something that patches together the cuts and mellows down the bruises. If anything, it’s just a practical advice for beginner lovers who find it hard to make peace with losing a great love. 

 

And according to Sana, and everything that she held most dear, Dahyun is a great love. Her Great Love. So, Sana desperately believed the saying despite Physics Sana.

 

What they didn’t mention though, is the battering uphill climb between the now and the presumed eventual healing. It’s steep, with false moves resulting to deeper pains that threatens to push you back to square one. It’s present in the first moments of waking —  where Sana’s hand would snake under the cold side of Dahyun’s pillow, only to find out how light it is, now that there were no hazel locks beautifully sprawled upon it. 

 

It’s present  when she sits up and finds herself looking for her phone. It used to be filled with short videos of good morning greetings and sweet nothings, but now it lays on the floor cracked and broken in four, five, six different places. For how many days it has been broken, Sana can’t tell between the seamless hours of waking and sleeping, and eating and crying. 

 

It’s present on her covers whenever she takes a whiff and breathes in just the tiniest hint of vanilla. She hates that smell, but as much as she fights herself, Sana would take a lung full of air once more with her nose buried against the pillow, hoping that she finds her scent still there.

 

Getting out of her room would take so much from Sana, but the feeling can’t even compete with how suffocating this house has become. Dahyun’s shirts are in her closet. Dahyun’s pictures are on her study table. Dahyun’s memories are painted over the walls, the pieces of furniture, and anywhere that they made love on. Hell, even her wall is not safe.

 

There is just too much of her Great Love scattered in this house, and as stupid as Sana may seem, she can’t muster the strength to throw it all away. That even if she had every reason to hate Kim Dahyun, there was the tiniest glint of hope that maybe, after the dust has settled, she can find her way back to her Great Love. 

 

Square one. Sana just learned that the uphill battle is unkind, so she settles with the only one choice she’s left.

 

“Jeongyeon.” she speaks softly as she comes down to her living room. “I need your help.” 

 

The manager quickly stands up from her spot and gazes up on the figure that was making her way towards her. Sana’s hair was tousled, her eyes were heavy, and her clothes are made up of an oversized shirt from her college days and a pair of boyshorts. Something tells Jeongyeon that looking after herself isn’t really Sana’s priority right now. 

 

“Sure! What do you need me to do?” Jeongyeon says anyways. 

 

“Cancel everything and book me a flight to Osaka. I need to get out of this place. Clear my head for a while.” Sana asked, obviously exhausted. 

 

“Staying here won’t cost you a thing, though.” 

 

Sana’s eyes wandered unconsciously towards the pair of shoes that wasn’t hers or Jeongyeon’s. White sneakers, to be more precise, sitting idly by the doorway. “I can’t. There’s... “

 

“Too much of her in here?” her manager catches on. “I figured as much. And something tells me that you can’t get rid of it just yet. Or maybe you don’t want to get rid of it at all.” 

 

“As my manager, I’m expecting you’d say something in the lines of this being a blessing in disguise.”

 

“That is if I am just your manager.” Jeongyeon forced out a chuckle. “But I’m your friend, Sana. Always has been.” 

 

“What would friend Jeongyeon say in this moment, then?” Sana smiles a bit, but for Jeongyeon, it was more than enough to make her smile back.

 

“Sana.” Friend Jeongyeon begins. “It shouldn’t end this way. I think you should give her a chance to explain herself. You know? When you’re ready.” she punches Sana’s shoulders lightly.

 

Sana closes her eyes and nods once. If it’s a promise to talk about this with Dahyun, or if it’s an acknowledgement that it will never happen, her manager can’t tell. She could only purse her lips in as the heavy silence filled the gap between them.

 

“There’s also another thing I should tell you, though.” the manager adds, her tone turning a bit more cautious. That one never sat well with Sana.

 

“What is it?” 

 

“We still need to do something before you fly out. There’s no good way to put this but it’s about Writer Im. She died last week. Miss Kwon is expecting us in their estate for a gathering. Not a funeral but something she kinda put together for us.” Jeongyeon looks down at her feet, not really knowing what else to say at this point. Sana, meanwhile, just stared at her manager with her jaw ajar. Suddenly, she feels like her pain can never compare to what Yuri is feeling right now. 

 

It was so sudden, so painful, so unrelenting. And compared to Sana’s heartbreak, Yuri has no chance to see Yoona ever again.

 

“Tell her we’ll go.” she decides.

 

“Sana, you know how much The Deepest Shades of You meant to the couple, so they invited everyone who worked for it.”

 

“I know.” Sana answers in a heartbeat.

 

“Dahyun will be there.” 

 

Sana’s heart clenches and her body tried desperately to reject the name entirely. If she’s to survive the next few weeks, she needs keep herself from breaking apart. Starting with just hearing her name. 

 

She takes in a lung full of air and looks Jeongyeon in the eye. It glistened differently, Jeongyeon swears, with the kind of conviction that she’s only seeing for the first time.

 

“I’m not going there for Dahyun.”

 

\---

 

Everyone in Dahyun’s car was awfully quiet as they drove into the estate. It was quite different on how Dahyun remembered it, most especially that the place was bustling with life when they were still at the principal photography for The Deepest Shades of You. 

 

Now, the edges of the yard were unkempt, with stray weeds encroaching the lot and the presence of earth patched grass. The house’s facade was plain. No pretty curtains, no laundry hanging, and no tables outside for random barbecues. 

 

It was as if no one is living in the house, or maybe Yuri forgot how.

 

Dahyun and Manager Chun greeted the host with a hug, making sure that she feels loved despite her loss. Soon after, Nana and Jongdae from the movie’s music team joined in the huddle and began exchanging their courtesies. Mina’s production team came in soon, with Yuri hugging Mina quite longer than the rest. 

 

After all, it was through Mina’s efforts that the movie was realized. 

 

Soon after, Mina greeted Dahyun, too. 

 

The producer pulls the other girl into a tight hug and as soon as she pulled back, she whispered something that made Dahyun tense up in the worst ways.

 

“They’re ten minutes out. Jeongyeon texted me.” 

 

Ten minutes. 

 

Agony comes in ten minutes. Dahyun remembered how their last exchange lasted for quite the same amount of time, and now, she’s minutes away from being reminded of how much she fucked up. Ten minutes — this will be the first time she’ll see Sana after the catastrophic crash of The This. 

 

Time flies when you’re having fun. Einstein mentioned that (or something like it) in the Theory of Relativity. As for Dahyun, it felt like she was given a pathetic amount of time to do her last wishes on this Earth before her imminent death comes around the corner. Time was not enough, but also excruciatingly long. 

 

“You okay?” her manager whispers. 

 

“Yeah, it’s just that — “

 

“Oh, Sana’s here.” Yuri sighs in relief. 

 

Right then, a car drives into the lot and parks into one of the vacant spaces. Soon enough Sana gets out from the driver’s seat, and walks towards the huddle. Dahyun tried her best not to look but her body rejects the whole idea entirely. She hasn’t seen Sana for a long time. She hasn’t heard from her for a long time. 

 

Everything she is aches for Sana, so she surrenders and looks up, gazing upon her for the first time after they crashed. Low, neat ponytail, minimal makeup, clad in a short, tight black dress. It was almost unfair that she still looks stunning despite of. Not that Dahyun wished for it, but it was more of the Universe slapping her hard with ‘This is what you broke. This is what you left.’

 

In hindsight, Dahyun was also relieved a bit that Sana looked good. Maybe Sana is coping well even if Dahyun was crumbling apart. It was, after all, something that Sana never deserved.

 

But what Dahyun doesn’t know is how hard it is for Sana to hold herself together. Especially now that the unwanted scent of vanilla was invading her senses and she realized how defenseless she was against it. She walks in quick towards Yuri, not even sparing Dahyun a glance when she did. 

 

Dahyun’s heart sinks at this, and even Mina caught how the other girl’s shoulder drops in pathetic misery. It’s almost guilt-filling when Mina feels Jeongyeon’s soft kiss against her cheek, and how she willingly accepted it despite their friends falling apart. 

“Jeongie, we need to talk.” 

 

“Now?” Jeongyeon glanced over to Yuri and Sana, then to Mina. “Okay. I’ll talk to Miss Yuri first.” 

 

“Yeah, go do that. They’ve been expecting you guys.” Mina said as she straightened up the collars of Jeongyeon’s dress shirt.

 

Sana and Jeongyeon proceeded to give their comforting words, even if they knew that their words won’t mean a thing. They’re just honored to be part of Yuri’s healing, no matter how long it may take. There were simple conversations of how all of them are holding up, until Yuri brings up the most awkward part of the conversation. 

 

“So how are things between you and Dahyun? Been reading a lot about you guys since the movie’s success.” Yuri coaxes as she glanced to Dahyun, who was talking to the rest of the group. “You know, if Yoona was here, she could’ve considered you as her success as well.” 

 

“Well, we’re okay.” Sana lies to avoid disappointing Yuri. “I mean, we’ve gotten pretty close ever since our release.” 

 

“Yoona would’ve loved to see that.” There was an unmistakable smile of relief from Yuri, making Sana think she made the right choice. “Come, we’ve prepared dinner. I wanted to have a separate one for all of us, just like how we did it back then when we were still shooting.” Yuri breaks off from the group and leads everyone into one of the larger tables. 

 

There was a collective, ‘Aww’s’ from the group when they realized that this has the same set-up as what they have always used before. Grill on the corner, then a cooler of liquor on the other. It was the same table, with the same chairs, the same bowl of cutleries, and with Yuri sitting at the head of table. 

 

This cued the others to take their usual seats. It made Dahyun swallow the lump in her throat by the time she noticed what was happening. Mina sits across her, just like always. Then, Jeongyeon sits besides the producer, just like how it usually is with their last few months. Then, Sooyoung and Nana flanks Yuri on both sides and Jongdae settles in right beside the music director. At this point, she wanted to sit with her manager, only to find out that she’s not here with her. If Dahyun only knew that it would come to this, she could’ve moved much faster than everyone else. 

 

Especially when Dahyun saw Jeongyeon’s face stiffen when Dahyun heard the chair beside her being moved. It was as if the manager was screaming ‘It’s a bad idea!’ in the quietest ways. 

 

Sana sits down casually and Dahyun was left with no choice but to follow. It was quite strange, having Sana so close. It somehow felt wrong that Dahyun was latching on something to hope for. Maybe Sana is ready to talk, or maybe Sana missed her as much as Dahyun does. 

 

Hopes are quickly shattered, though, as the universe was quick to settle the real score. when Dahyun’s knuckles ever so slightly bumps against Sana’s, the Japanese girl quickly retracts her hand, as if it touched fire. Then, for the next moments, Sana clasped her hands together tightly, reminding Dahyun on how she truly feels at that moment.

 

Sana wanted to die right then and there. This spot held so much memories especially what happened underneath this very table. She hated the urge to look at Dahyun. She hated the urge to cry, but this isn’t the place and most definitely not the time. 

 

If anything, this only strengthened her resolve to go through with her plans of running back to Japan. 

 

\---

 

Dinner was awfully nostalgic, which obviously did not sit well with Sana and Dahyun. Because while the production crew enjoyed each other’s company, Dahyun was stuck in this limbo of confused thoughts and dizzied feelings. While it is true that Sana avoided contact, she still looked after her just like how it was back then. 

 

“Do you want anything?” Sana says in hushed tones without looking at Dahyun who’s too busy trying to open her can of soda. So, just like how Sana did it back then, she carefully takes the can and opens it for Dahyun. Wiping off the lips as well. 

 

“None. Thank you.” Dahyun could only mumble. 

 

“You sure?” Sana insisted, and Dahyun was almost lost at how the voice sounded so sweet even if Sana tried so hard not to make it sound that way. Or maybe it was just her hopeful imagination. At this point, she can’t even bring herself to think straight. Most especially that Sana is still looking after her after everything that happened.

 

“Yeah. Eat up some more. You haven’t touched your food since we started.” 

 

“Mhmm.” Sana just hummed and nodded. 

 

Then, there was silence between them again. And in this silence, Dahyun begins to argue with herself on whether or not to talk to Sana and explain what happened. If Sana can be this diplomatic, then maybe there’s a chance to fix what she ruined. But before Dahyun could turn and talk to Sana, the other girl was already standing up to excuse herself. 

 

With a sigh, Dahyun looks down on her lap but was quickly taken back to reality when she felt Jeongyeon kick her feet from under the table. She looks up, only to see Jeongyeon already looking at her. The manager nods towards the direction where Sana was walking, subtly asking Dahyun to follow. 

 

It didn’t take much thinking from the actress. All she knows is this: Sana is in talking terms. This is way better than how it was the past days. If she’s looking for a moment to explain herself, this might actually be the only chance she’ll get.

 

So Dahyun finds herself walking towards Sana who was also making her way towards Dahyun’s direction. There were no cheery smiles, no longing gazes, and no dreams inside Sana’s eyes. It made Dahyun’s insides tense up in guilt because she really thought that Sana was handling pretty well.

 

“Hey.” Dahyun greets when Sana was just a step away from her.

 

“Hey.” Sana answers but quickly keeps her eyes straight down the path.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Sana stopped. There was definitely something in that question that made her anger bubble in unwanted effervescence. She looks up to stare right into Dahyun’s eyes. Her body felt like it was on fire — a masochistic feat of  self-immolation as her heart free falls into longing and hurting at the same time.

 

"No, I’m not.” forced out an annoyed laugh. “I thought I would be, given the days. But I’m not.”

 

“I’m sorry, I just thought that I could talk to you for a bit and —”

 

“I hope you don’t misunderstand.” 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“We’re not okay. I’m just talking to you a while ago because Miss Yuri rooted for us, as well as Miss Yoona. I can’t let them down. At least, not now. We just have to pretend that we’re close. I believe that’s easy for you to do."

 

And it felt damn shitty when the Sana turned the tables against her, and it left a bitter taste when Sana’s resolve was hinted with a seething accusation.

 

"Sana, that's not funny." 

 

"Do you think I'm joking?" Sana walks on, leaving Dahyun no choice but to follow Sana with her gaze. 

 

"How should I know? You weren’t talking to me. You’re not even picking up your phone. You’re being unfair!" she defended.

 

Sana quickly turns, and right at that moment, Dahyun knew that she said something wrong. Really, really wrong. And when their eyes met, Dahyun tightens her fists to prevent herself from giving. It was a bad decision to have followed Sana, and to have said words against her because Dahyun just snapped. 

 

“Don’t lecture me on what’s fair, Dahyun.” Sana pointed sternly at the other girl. 

 

“I just wanted to explain.” Dahyun’s shoulders sink. Her voice sounded tired, and spent from chasing after her penance, only to be met by a well deserved hostility from Sana. 

 

“To be honest,” Sana sighs in between soft sobs. “You can explain all you want but I’ll end up just as confused and as skeptical. Hell, I’m not even sure what to believe anymore, and you know what sucks about that? I wanted to trust you. I love you so bad, I wanted to trust you with everything that I am. Now, I’m left with my own doubts and fucking mistrust from the only thing that I’ve ever considered as real.” 

 

Sana’s words took the last glimmer of hope from her. They were both tired from running after and running away from. They were both tired of denying and justifying. They were both tired from breaking and enduring. They were both tired of sleepless nights and puffed eyed, so Sana breaks off first and walks away. 

 

“I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Dahyun hides her quivering lips behind the back of her hand. Sana bites on her lip because still, after everything that happened, it still hurts her to see Dahyun like this. She looks up to the starless sky to hold back her tears but sometimes everything gets a bit too much. With a heavy sigh and a sad gaze, she looks at Dahyun’s eyes. 

 

“‘I’m sorry for us, too.” Sana says softly.

 

Dahyun surrenders tonight. In her heart, maybe her sister was right. They both needed the time to make peace with themselves. Dahyun could only hope that maybe, when their hearts mend, they’ll find their way back to each other. 

 

Their night ends with Dahyun watching Sana walk away for the second time. She learns that it was as painful as the first time.

 

\---

 

“You wanted to talk to me about something.” Jeongyeon asks Mina as everyone started giving their goodbyes. “When we arrived, you said something.”

 

“Yeah.” Mina sighs. “About that. Do you think we should tone down?”

 

“I don’t know Mina, you always sound toned down to me.” 

 

“Jeongyeon.” there was a certain verve in Mina’s reprimand that says this certain issue is no laughing matter. “Our friends are kind of, broken. So maybe let’s just be affectionate when we’re not around any of them.”

 

“Well, that won’t really be a problem.” the manager glanced over behind Mina, only to see Sana talking intently with Yuri. To what they’re talking about, Jeongyeon can only wonder. “Sana is flying to Osaka tomorrow, which makes me practically jobless.”

 

“Oh.” Mina could only say.

 

“Don’t tell Dahyun. Strict orders.” 

 

“I thought you’re all about compromise? Can’t you at least tell Dahyun after Sana leaves?”

 

“It’s a bad idea to get involved in this, Mina. You know that.”

 

“So we’re just gonna leave them to figure this out? Jeongie, they’re like infants trying to put together a five hundred piece puzzle. We’re not intervening. Just think of it as building the corners and edges for them.” Mina defends. “Sana strictly asked you to not let her go to PR stunts with male co-actors, and still, you did. So why can’t you do it with Dahyun?” 

 

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

 

“Promise me.”

 

“What?” with a playful whine, the manager takes both of Mina’s hands with hers and laced their fingers together.

 

“That you’ll think about it.” 

 

Jeongyeon nods obediently. If there’s one thing she loved about Mina, it’s that she doesn’t impose anything that involves Jeongyeon’s decisions. After all, these are highly sensitive matters that all of them should tread carefully.  “See you back in Seoul.”

 

Mina looks over to Yuri and Sana who are slowly walking towards them. They seem to be talking about something really important, because compared to Yuri and Sana’s previous interactions, this Sana was listening intently. “Yeah. Text me once you guys land.”

 

\---

 

It wasn’t even a full twenty four hours after their encounter in Daejang-do when Sana is found rummaging through her things and stuffing them in a suitcase. 

 

“Jeong.” 

 

“Yeah?” the manager presses down on Sana’s folded clothes to stop it from bursting through the zippers. 

 

“You promised me. Remember that.” Sana says sternly. Jeongyeon only watched her friend as she gathered her things for her hand carry. She snatches her new phone, her passport, and her book by the end table. 

 

It should be criminally illegal to hold people to commit to two promises. Jeongyeon saves that note for later, maybe if she becomes a politician someday. At the back of her head, she knew that there are things which would need her divine intercession. Besides, WWJD wouldn’t mean anything else other than ‘What Would Jeongyeon Do?’

 

“Of course. I got your back.” she quickly looks down on Sana’s clothes, avoiding her friend’s gaze. 

 

“Last thing I’d want is for this to blow up into something that it isn’t.”

 

“Like?” 

 

“A break up.” Sana sighs.

 

“Is it not?” Jeongyeon zipped up Sana’s suitcase.

 

“We were never together, Jeongyeon. As much as I wanted to.” 

 

At this moment, it dawned on Jeongyeon that this must be how scientists felt like — that urge to debunk what one has claimed true. Jeongyeon wanted to slap her friend because no, if Sana wanted to, like really wanted to, she would be with Dahyun right now. Which is, in the most recent scientific studies, is not happening. 

 

But before Jeongyeon could even rebut, her phone vibrates. Sana, meanwhile, was left in the room attending to her messed up study table. Another fallen victim to one of Sana’s breakdowns. 

 

After a short while, Jeongyeon peeks her head back into the doorway and calls out, “Your car is almost here. Time to move our asses!” 

 

Sana complies and shoves everything inside the shoulder bag. She stacks her books accordingly, and clears out the scraps of paper to the trash can. In the heaps of it, she picks up an instax picture. It must’ve detached when she sent her last phone flying across the room. She flips the picture over and immediately regretted her decision. Her heart clenches and her hand shakes. This picture was taken during their first date in Seoul. White Moon, piano, Dahyun in a dress, a song for Sana. 

 

Sana stared at it, testing herself if she can endure the pain of taking in the flood of memories. 

 

“Sana! Come on!” Jeongyeon calls out.

 

Her fingers press on the picture, together with all the emotions that she could muster. There’s only one place where this picture belongs. Without putting the picture down, she glanced back at the trash can by her feet.

 

“I’m sorry.” she mumbles.  

 

\---

 

A couple enters a specific speakeasy situated in Myeongdong. Jeongyeon only heard about it from Sana and Dahyun, so she really didn’t know what she was expecting when she entered a door (which Mina claimed was a warehouse door) and was treated to a posh bar of velvet seats and wood finishes. 

 

“Yes, I’m Kim Taeyeon. How can I help you?” the short pale girl straightens her apron down.

 

“Yes. Hi.” Jeongyeon bows low, which made Taeyeon feel super weird because when did people become too formal around her? “I’m Yoo Jeongyeon, this Myoui Mina. We’re friends of Dahyun and Sana. Also Sana’s manager.” the manager introduces herself, which answers Taeyeon’s previous question.

 

Meanwhile, while a certain Jeongyeon is staying faithful to her WWJD moment, Sana rests her head against the plane window. She closes her eyes trying to catch on the sleep she dearly deprived herself these past week.

 

“If what I think is happening  _ is  _ happening...” Taeyeon warned. “It better not be.” 

 

“If what you’re thinking  is what I’m thinking you’re thinking.” Jeongyeon explains. “It’s not what you think we’re thinking of happening.” 

 

“Then, what are you thinking that I’m thinking that’s most probably — “

 

“Miss Kim, Jeongyeon wanted to pass some information to Dahyun. It’s about Sana.” Mina bows and tucks her hair behind her ear as she politely interrupted the escalating verbal mind games (mind games, but out loud and maybe some singing).

 

“Miss Kim.” Jeongyeon places her hand over her heart. “I’m a friend who just wants to be the maid of honor in her friend’s wedding. This can end in two ways, me being the maid of honor, or all of you attending my funeral. I prefer to risk both.”  

 

“You have an interesting friend, Miss Myoui.” the pale woman folds her arms loosely and cocks her hips.

 

“My girlfriend, actually.” Mina sucks in her lips, not knowing if she wants to shrink in embarrassment or burn in fifty shades of red when she noticed Jeongyeon looking at her  _ that  _ way. 

 

“If that’s the case, I hope you consider your options.”  Taeyeon bobs her brows then turns to Jeongyeon, “If I’d guess correctly, you’d tell me something that Sana told you not to tell Dahyun but you’re telling her anyway.”

 

“Half right, Miss Kim.” Jeongyeon corrected. “Because I kept a promise to Sana so I’m not telling her, so — “ 

 

“No! Wait! What I think is happening  _ is  _ happening!” Taeyeon tried to cover her ears but Jeongyeon spit her words out like a rapper with her ass on fire. 

 

“ — Sana-went-home-to-Osaka and she-took-the-first-flight-this-morning. Also, she has a new phone with the same number.”

 

“No.” Taeyeon sighs as her shoulder drops in defeat. Quibbles are nasty things when you get involved in them, and Taeyeon hated herself for not thinking faster. “That was so god damn immature.”

 

“Now you have the burden of information, Miss Kim. I’m so sorry. I needed to be a friend to the both of them.”

 

“Do I need to tell her?” Taeyeon pulls off her scrungy and ruffles her hair, just loosen up. 

 

“Only when you need her to.” Jeongyeon assures, staying true to her promises.

 

“And when’s that?” 

 

Jeongyeon leans it a bit closer, her expression becoming more serious. “Great power comes with great responsibilities, Miss Kim. This is your power now so it’s your call.”

 

\---

 

It was stupid to hope when the only thing Dahyun’s holding onto is the fact that Sana hasn’t deleted their ‘couple’ photos on Instagram yet. She hasn’t changed her number yet, and  she also hasn’t appeared in any interview to dismiss the hushed accusations of dating Dahyun. 

 

Actually, there were no real signs of Sana for the past couple of weeks. No fan videos of her on Youtube and Twitter. No updates on her social media accounts, and no updates from Jeongyeon. It’s almost as if Sana just vanished from the face of the earth, leaving Dahyun without a way of getting to her. 

 

It sucks. Or at least, that’s what Dahyun has been telling herself: It will suck for a while. But on how long that ‘a while’ is, no one really knows. As far as Dahyun is concerned, it takes more from her to not miss Sana than the effort she exerts at work. 

 

Sure, she still gets the job done properly, but in between takes lies the problem.

 

“Dahyun, great job on that last part.” A representative from her company greets her as she was making her way back to her trailer. “More of these and you’ll be able to negotiate for a better contract. Which reminds me, we need to set that meeting with the CEO. He wants to talk to you personally about your renewal.” 

 

Dahyun just walked past him and shut the door of her trailer.

 

When asked what’s wrong with her, Manager Chun just smiled and said that she was just feeling really tired — which is an understatement.

 

In the last few days, Dahyun would lock herself up in her trailer. What was once a place to take Sana’s calls, it became a solitary prison that allows Dahyun to miss much, feel much, and hurt much. She thinks this car is a safe place. Or maybe any other place started to be, especially after one has considered a person to be their safe place. In this case, it’s Sana. Sana and her warm hugs, and sweet smile, and the spot on window-side of her bed.

 

“Dahyun, it’s me.” Manager Chun knocks on the car door.

 

“Come in.” Dahyun curls up into her captain’s chair and goes back to swiping about her phone. 

 

“Anything I can do to make you feel better?” her manager greets. Dahyun just shakes her head to answer the question. “People are getting worried.” 

 

“About?” Dahyun speaks in an uninterested tone as she turns her gaze towards her manager. 

 

“You’re becoming less sociable the past couple of weeks.”

 

“Then let them worry.” Dahyun goes back to her phone. “I’m sure they won’t mind my silence if I bring in the money. I’m almost finished with Dreamers. I’ve finished The Deepest Shades of You. I got the role for The Last Court. We won fucking awards. I lost Sana along the way. What more do they want?” 

 

Manager Chun bows low when she noticed Dahyun’s voice rising, staying silent as her young client ranted. It’s her first time seeing Dahyun is agitated, more so, cursing and swearing.

 

“Dahyun you can’t be like this. Dahyun you can’t be like that. Dahyun, you can’t date Sana because the people. Holy fucking hell. Dahyun, do whatever shit we tell you because that’s where the fucking money is.” the actress ranted on. “Sorry, Miss Woohee. I’m just tired.” Dahyun sighs. Manager Chun forces out a smile then nods again. 

 

Her manager fiddles with her fingers, letting the young girl vent out as much as she could. And through all that, she realized that they never had a moment like this before. It has always been Dahyun being quietly obedient, and her making sure that she doesn’t get into trouble. And when she finally did get herself into trouble, it wasn’t a scandal of drugs, or bribery, or breaking laws. It’s just Dahyun liking someone that society thinks she shouldn’t have. 

 

Her client is talented, good natured, and giving. A place like this is no place for her. This world has already seen too much of celebrities crashing into meltdowns and scandals. Their broken pieces are picked on by the vultures of tabloids both online and printed. They are shown as pieces of shit when actually, it was their audience that reduced them into such, and they wouldn’t even bother to care because they can hide behind anonymous faces when they ridicule and comment. It is a harsh place, and a place like this is not a place for Dahyun. 

 

“I...” her manager starts. “I got an offer in JYP. Artist management. I haven't thought well about it yet but the offer is available indefinitely.”

 

Dahyun quickly looks back to her manager. 

 

“You’re leaving me?”

 

“No.” the manager chuckles. “If I wanted that, I would’ve done that last month.”

 

Dahyun relaxes a bit with the woman’s words, then she continued, “What I’m about to do is completely unethical and can be downright treacherous but I would like you to know that I only want the best for you. Your contract renewal is coming soon. End in three weeks, maybe. I think this can be a chance for us to break off and give you the room that you deserve.”

 

“You’re asking me to quit?” there was skepticism in Dahyun’s voice, but also a little hint of eagerness. 

 

“No. I’m asking you to think about it.” Manager Chun completely stops fiddling with her fingers and drops her hands over her lap. “Thinking about things isn’t really your strongest suit, so I want you to practice that now. At the end of the day, I can only help you navigate this life of being an artist, but I cannot make that decision for you.” she claps her hands together and rests her wrists over her knees. “You’re so much more than a tabloid target, Kim Dahyun. You’re bound for something greater. They offer you a prison, I offer you a cliff. And if you jump, I’ll jump.” 

 

Once upon a time, Dahyun jumped into taking the lead role in The Deepest Shades of You. It was a brash move but still, despite the shit that they’re both in, Manager Chun caught up. Manager Chun stayed, and she persisted.

 

\---

 

“Hey, champ.” Taeyeon greets her sister as the younger girl entered the kitchen and hugs her from behind. It’s funny how they’re both relatively short so it doesn’t give Dahyun a spot to rest her head. If this was Sana, Dahyun’s chin would’ve fit perfectly over the small nook on her shoulders. 

 

 _Damn._ At this point, anything just reminds Dahyun of how much she misses Sana. 

 

“Hey.” Dahyun closes her eyes. “That looks good.” 

 

Dahyun described the stew the her sister was making, most probably their dinner for tonight. Only difference is, she’s actually eating this time. It wasn’t just playing around with the rice or dabbling about the slices of meat. This time, her sister satisfyingly watched her enjoy this intimate moment, hoping that her younger sister is finally coping with.

 

“Sorry, unnie.” she wipes her mouth.

 

“Hmm?” Taeyeon’s brow raises.

 

“I know I’ve been a bit sucky the past few weeks. I shouldn’t have let you deal with that.” Dahyun bows her head down and returns to playing with her food. “It’s just that, I don’t know what to do the past weeks.”

 

“Dahyunnie.” Taeyeon reaches for Dahyun’s hand across the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I think taking care of you is a curse that I have grown to love.” 

 

Dahyun takes her hand back and slaps on the hand that was left on the table. Taeyeon just laughs and coaxes her sister to finish her dinner.

 

“A heartbroken Dahyun is now one of my least favorite things. After monthly periods, stepping on a Lego, or snapping my heels. To tell you, it’s not the best feeling in the world, y’know, getting your heart broken but it’s something that we need to experience in our lives. At least once. I’m just glad I’m here to pick up after that.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but...” Dahyun stared at her plate and smiles. “You are the best sister.” 

 

“I am your only sister.” 

 

“Exactly the point.” Dahyun points at Taeyeon with her chopsticks only to find a napkin landing squarely on her face. Dahyun used to do that to Sana whenever the Japanese annoys her. Maybe the habit runs in the family. 

 

Then her mind wanders back to a certain raven-haired girl.

 

There was a comfortable silence filling the gap between them, with the sound from the TV coming through. Dahyun glances to the TV by the living room (They both leave it on during dinners for white noise) and saw Sana’s Laniege commercial. Her bright eyes, and warming smile. Her sharp nose, and her sweet voice. It didn’t take long enough to make Taeyeon notice that her sister was staring at the TV.

 

“You miss her, don’t you?”

 

“Very. Sana’s good at this, disappearing from the face of the earth and make you ache for her in the wildest ways.” Dahyun sighs but takes a spoonful of rice just the same. Taeyeon just nods at this, finally giving that space of silence for Dahyun’s thoughts. “I’m staying here for the next couple of weeks.” she continues.

 

“That’s good.” Taeyeon puts more meat on Dahyun’s bowl.

 

“There are things that I need to think about. Maybe staying here can put my head straight.” Dahyun almost mumbles but Taeyeon catches on it pretty quickly. A thinking Dahyun is something that she asked for long time, and she can’t believe that it’s happening now, at dinner.

 

“Who are you and what did you do to my sister?” Taeyeon pauses mid chew. Afterall, banter like this is a much important sustenance. It’s a cornerstone of every sisterly relationship.

 

“Come on, Taeyeon-unnie.” Dahyun throws the napkin back at the older girl. Taeyeon giggles and throws a rib bone which made Dahyun lean to the side.

 

“You want me to hang around?” Taeyeon finally calms down and her sister just nods quietly. “Alright then.”

 

It was unfair for Dahyun to only come home when things are falling apart. Especially when she never really had the chance to spend time with family. It was unfair for her to rely so much on her sister to break her fall, and it was unfair to demand so much from Sana when all Dahyun did was to break her heart. And it was unfair to herself for taking in the pain without forgiving herself. 

 

Tonight, and the next nights, she will be thinking about the things that she should atone for. The things that matter. The things that would make her deepest shades vibrant.

 

Sensing  Dahyun’s effort for introspection, Taeyeon began to think of how she can phrase her next sentence well. If there’s a time where she can test the strength of Dahyun’s resolve, it should be along the lines of today or never. Stupid Jeongyeon and her stupid games, but to be honest, what bummed Taeyeon was the fact that someone can out immature her. 

 

She mentally takes note of getting back at Sana’s manager. In the meantime. “Also, I know where Sana is.” 

 

Dahyun stops moving, her eyes locked down on the table as if collecting her thoughts. Thoughts of yesternights of crying, and hurtful words, and thoughts of what could’ve beens and what should’ve beens. But that night, in Daejang-do, Sana said something that haunted Dahyun.

 

It replays in her head as much as she tried not to think about it.

 

_ “ I love you so bad, I wanted to trust you with everything that I am.” _

 

The This was the only thing that Sana ever considered as real, and Dahyun held onto that like a flickering promise. If there’s one thing that she should do right now, it’s to wait for the moment to show that Sana can trust her again.

 

“That’s not important right now. If she wants to talk to me, she’ll ask me. If she wants me back, she’ll tell me.” Dahyun brushes her hair back. “Until that day comes, I’ll just have to wait. Right now, I just want her to be okay.”

 

Taeyeon smiles softly and nods. 

 

“Dinner is great, by the way.” Dahyun says.

 

\---

 

The days went by slower than Sana hoped. As she gazed up to the rather nostalgic ceiling, she began to unconsciously count the minutes and hours that passed by. The problem lies not with time itself. Only students worry about that as they sat into lectures where five minutes feel like infinity. The problem lies with what she is still feeling. 

 

She knew very well that ‘Time heals all wounds’ is a spit of bullshit for first time lovers, because right now, her mind still wanders off to vanilla scents, soothing voices, the sound of the piano, and eyes where dreams are made of. 

 

As for the past few weeks, Sana wanted to blame it all on Dahyun and her lie, but as the slow days progressed and her thoughts were left floating helplessly within the slower hours, she began to realize things that she may never have as she was angry. 

 

Moving on is hard. That’s the simple absolute truth. And while she could easily blame herself and her unwavering feelings for Dahyun, she takes a step back from her perspective and took them all in like the warm rays of the sun. In between the sounds of chirping birds was Sana’s inner voice telling her that this was both their faults. That moving on was difficult because their relationship was as vague as vague gets. Sana wanted answers to questions that stemmed from another set of unanswered questions. She looked for assurances that she also deprived the both of them. They stayed in the grays without defining what is black and what is white. And they acted beyond what friends should have. 

 

Maybe, if Sana was a bit more honest, Dahyun would’ve been, too. Or maybe, the pain would come in much earlier and if she’s to find her same self in this same time, the difference of moving on would’ve been clear as night and day. But alas, what are memories but somber reminders of what could’ve beens. A penance for those who held back, and a trial for those who were trying to move forward. 

 

Delicate fingers flip over the folded pages of a book, just like the beat up script that gave birth to her Great Love. Her Great Love immortalized in an instax picture that serves as a bookmark of pages read, and pages unread. It would’ve been a piece of trash, if Sana’s going to be honest. But she’d by lying to herself as well if she says that there’s no glimmer of hope in her at all that they’ll find their way back to each other again. 

 

Such were her thoughts whenever she’s left alone in the house that she has always called home. And just like Dahyun, Sana thinks that a great amount of healing starts when one tends to their roots. And so she lies on the couch in this lazy afternoon, flipping another page of her current book. The one that was left opened and faced down by the end table.

 

“You finally got around into reading that?” her brother enters the living room and sits on the spot beside where Sana was lying. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“They interviewed you last year on what books you’re reading. You mentioned that — Hawking’s A Brief History of Time.” Tatsuo pans both his hands out while he made his voice sound much grander. “Unless you read about two or three words per day, then you’re current progress would’ve been acceptable.”

 

“Get out.” Sana laughs and pushes her brother back with her foot.

 

“Eww! Your feet stinks!” 

 

“Eww! Your face stinks.” Sana rebutts easily as her brother was reduced to just making faces.

 

“I’d expect you to be on your best behavior when I bring Tao here on the weekend.” Tatsuo yawns as he opened the TV. He quickly switched the volume back down because as much as people assume that they’re always into each other’s necks, Tatsuo is still respectful enough to not steal Sana’s reading time from her. 

 

“Or else what?” 

 

“Or else I’ll tell Miss Dahyun that you still love her.” her brother threatens, which afforded an even swifter retribution with a slap on the back of his head.

 

“Shut up! And don’t call her ‘miss’, it’s weird.” 

 

“Says the one who uses her picture as a bookmark.” her brother raises up the photo that was lying beside Sana on the couch.

 

“Give me that!” she snatches it back.

 

“Why are you in denial?”

 

“Who the hell is Tao? Another girlfriend?” 

 

“My one and only girlfriend. I believe corrections are in order. Also, why are you evading my questions?” Tatsuo absent mindedly scrolls past the different channels until he settles with a Japanese variety show with Satomi Ishihara. (Because everybody loves Satomi Ishihara)

 

“What do you mean by your one and only? Finally discovering the financial advantages of monogamy?” Sana flips onto another page, only to forget what she has read on the previous one. Something tells her that her mind isn’t fully focused on her book. 

 

“No.” Tatsuo rests her head back on the side of the couch. “I listened to what you and mom said and kind of thought about it for a long time.”

 

“What did you discover during your meditation? And did you use tissues?”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

 

“I’m just saying, it’s better that we leave our businesses clean and tidy.” Sana laughs, putting her opened book face down on her chest.

 

“I am giving you a brother-sister moment here and the best thing that you can muster is ‘Did you use tissues?’ Really? Of course I did!” 

 

“Eww! Fucking gross!” Sana’s face contorted sourly as she pushed her brother away with her feet. 

 

“You started it!” 

 

“Rhetorical Question! I’m going to let your girlfriend know.” Sana continued on with the banter, hoping that the conversation evades the entire point completely. It’s beginning to get a bit stuffy in this big living room and the set of previous questions weren’t helping. But the thing is, the Minatozakis come from a smart stock (but Tatsuo is lazier than any Minatozaki, thus the grades) so it didn’t take long before Tatsuo sensed this.

 

“But going back, I realized some things when I thought about what you said about me having better chances if I actually do good at school instead of just being outrageously good looking.”

 

“You wish.” Sana rolls her eyes but her brother ignores this. 

 

“I can’t quite explain it but I think it just boils down to you guys wanting the best for me. And somehow, it leads us to be with the right people. Do you get me?”

 

“Holy fuck, I don’t even know who you are with that kind of wisdom.” Sana’s eyes widened when her brother decided to grow up a couple of years more just now.

 

“Sis.” he answers sternly.

 

“I’m just glad that you got your head kinda straight.” 

 

“I just listened.” he tapos on his ear. “How about you? When will you decide to?”

 

“It’s not that easy.” 

 

“Because you already have those weird thoughts in your head like her possible answers and shit. You’re assuming endings that are not happening yet.” Tatsuo gets up on his feet and leaves the remote on the far corner where Sana can’t touch it since the next commercial looks great. “You really got to listen to what she has to say. Then you can decide from there.”  

 

Sana evades her brothers eyes, only to look at Dahyun’s on TV. Nike is a fricking international brand and her commercial for ‘Take Me Higher’ is playing on the god damn TV and most probably in Singapore and Hong Kong. 

 

“You’re really missing out, sis.” Tatsuo watches the commercial with her sister then goes back to the girl who has been lying on the couch since this morning. “You’re lying there. She’s back in Seoul maybe crying or whatever. You’re sulking. She’s waiting for you to forgive her. She calls you then you never pick up. That’s the least productive thing I saw in my entire life and that’s coming from me who slept half the summer back in 2015.”

 

“I’ll think about it!” Sana covers her face with a throw pillow in hopes to shoo her brother away.

 

“Don’t think about it. Do something about it. An object at rest remains at rest until an outside force acts upon it. Or if it decides to move itself. How’s Aristotle for you?

 

“That’s Newton, but nice try.”

 

“Who made it into laws, but the Greek got there first, which is expected from any other Greek. How’s that for something I know that you don’t know, that’s also Physics?”

 

“Get the hell out of here!” Sana whines at the taste of imminent defeat brought upon the least likeliest of people. 

 

“Aristotle, sis!” Her brother’s cries began to fade out as he makes his way towards the stairs. “Aristo-fucking-tle! Do not shame the Greeks!”

 

Then, it was silent once again.

 

\---

 

Intermittent taps of the finger over a wooden desk matches the pitter patter of the rain just outside the window. Forecasts suggest that it will rain in Osaka for the next days but it has been raining in Sana’s heart since the fall of The This. At this point, she cannot discern the difference of the mood and the only thing she could do is to surrender her thoughts to the monotone rhythm. 

 

Sana’s solitary thoughts were never kind to her. Like an unwelcome wave crashing to the shore. Expected, but one can never tell if it’s just the ebb or it’s already bringing the sea with it. On some days, it’s just her and Dahyun’s soft memories of dinners, and late nights, and holding hands. Then on other nights, they’re filled with doubts, uncertainty, and broken love. 

 

She should’ve paid more attention  to her History classes. If there’s one thing that Thermopylae taught, it’s that the Greeks are as stubborn as Sana herself. So it’s not surprising that a certain natural thinker keeps on barging through her thoughts. A nagging feeling like a scab waiting to be pulled out from a wound.

 

Aristotle.

 

It has been almost five weeks now since she stopped dating Dahyun. Five weeks of not talking to her properly. Five weeks of disappearing, and five weeks of not hearing from Dahyun. It has been five weeks since sad love songs started making damn sense and Sana hates herself for crying alone in the middle of listening to The Script and Utada Hikaru. 

 

Aristotle. 

 

Sana opens her phone for the first time in weeks. Her other phone has served its purpose anyways. By the time it connects to the wifi and the service provider, it started going off with different notifications.

 

She tosses the device on her bed, following it as she dives down onto the warm duvet. Her eyes were locked on the phone as it finally finishes catching up on the events of the world. 

 

Sana would’ve hated Dahyun for a spectrum of reasons but what her brother said was painfully right. Dahyun should have no business being her bookmark if she never wanted to see her again. 

 

“Sana.” the voice on the voicemail sobbed. “Please, I can explain. Just give me a moment and I’ll tell you everything. Please, let’s not end this way. Call me, please.”

 

“Dahyun.” Sana whimpered as she hugged her pillow tighter. 

 

“Meetup with me. Give me a chance. Please. I’ll tell you everything. Let’s just not end things like this because shit Sana, I love you and I fucked up. Please, just talk to me.”

 

Sana closed her eyes shut to stop the tears from bursting. As one voicemail played after the other, she began to finally realize how much she had to put Dahyun through. It was a deeper shade of Dahyun where she relinquishes all pride just for a moment to make it clear to Sana.

 

Sana felt betrayed and hurt, but instead of fixing things, she dragged them both in the pits of heartbroken misery. It pains her to only realize how much hostility she warranted Dahyun, and it pains her even more to be so far away from her.

 

\---

 

Back in Gyeonggi-do, Manager Chun looks out at the Kim’s yard with her arms folded under her chest. Dahyun was sitting on the couch beside her looking at her manager’s phone. 

 

**[Park Yeongshin]:**

Is there a way that we can get Dahyun back with Sana?

The people seemed to love them. This will go well with the contract.

 

“I guess it all works out in the end.” Manager Chun sighs. 

 

“What do you mean?” Dahyun stares at the phone, trying her best to hold down the disgust that was threatening to boil out her lips.

 

“We get to renew then you get to have Sana with you.” the older lady continued to look outside, with her eyes not really locked onto something specific. It all works out in the end.”

 

“In their wildest dreams, Miss Chun.” Dahyun finally stands and joins her by the window. 

 

“I see you’ve made your mind.” 

 

“I have been thinking, if the time comes that we parts ways, the least I could do for you Miss Chun, is to leave you in a place where you’ll have plenty of opportunities. Besides, if JYP accepts our terms, their contract will sell more than the one that we have now.” Dahyun cocks her hips and tucks her fingers inside her pockets. “I know what I’m about Miss Chun. I think it’s about time to stick with the decisions that I made.”

 

“It will be messy on the first months. It will be a PR field day. Non renewal of contracts. The unwanted war of our company against JYP. And the possible dating scandals that they’ll throw at you.” Manager Chun lists.

 

“I know. But JYP PR will dampened our fall. Besides, they wouldn’t drag Sana into this because let’s face it, they won’t drag Sana and her agency in this mess. They going against the sexiest young star of the century and the most promising actress in Asia. That’s talking about Sana alone.” 

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”

 

“It all works out in the end.” Dahyun repeats. “Our end.”

 

“I’ll head to JYP then.” 

 

“Tell me how it goes. There are more important things that I should attend to.” Dahyun turns and takes her phone from the couch. “I’ll go on for a short break, Manager Chun. You should, too. After this, everything will feel like a whirlwind.” 

 

“Why, where are you headed?” the manager asks cautiously, only to find her cliently stopping in her tracks. Dahyun lets out a small sigh, like she breathed the world and weight that it carried. 

 

“Closure.”

 

\---

 

Earlier that night, Sana taps her finger over a small piece of note on the table. This time, she wasn’t counting the minutes that they’ve been apart. But she learns that counting the minutes before she gets to see her is as excruciating as the other. She places her phone down right beside the note as  she continued tapping in a monotone fashion.

 

Her eyes moves down at the beautiful penmanship, just like the notes that Dahyun left on Sana’s scripts once upon a time. 

 

_ I will never know what good I did to be at the receiving end of everything that you are. _

_ In your deepest shades, always.  _

_ I love you, Nerd! _

_ \- tofubean _

 

Sana closes her eyes and continues tapping.

 

In Seoul, Dahyun’s eyes widen when her phone lit up for a message. Her heart swells and clenches at the same time. It reminded her on how awfully long it was.

 

**[Minatozaki Sana:]**

Aristotle. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Sorry everyone for taking too long! I got pretty swamped up with life and wiork and everything in between but at least we get to sneak in Part 6 in between what's left of our free time. Thank you so much for the messages. You don't have any iea on how much it means to us. We'll get onto the comments section later on so in the meantime I hope you enjoy this update. 
> 
> We are almost at the end, my peoples! Hang in there a bit guys and I hope to see you in our next update!


	7. Part 7: The Zeroth Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the two realize the meaning of the Zeroth Law, the entire world loses their shit. A manager sings La Marsellaise.

**The Zeroth Law**

**Part 7**

* * *

 

 

Daejang-do, a few weeks ago. 9:17 PM.

Two ladies take a stroll across the yard away from the pockets of conversations. Yuri had her hands behind her, slowly swinging her leg forward one after the other. Her steps are much relaxed and her demeanor is much calmer than Sana expected. So it took her in a bit of a surprise when Yuri suddenly asks.

“Why did you lie to me?” 

“What do you mean?” Sana defends. 

“You and Dahyun are not okay. You look at her as you would’ve many months ago, but your affections are stiff and reluctant. Something is holding you back to express these things.” the older woman looks down at her feet. “You think I wouldn’t notice?” 

Sana stayed silent, quite embarrassed on how everything unfolded. She tried to look back into what transpired that night and found herself quickly drowning in regret. How she avoided Dahyun’s eyes, Dahyun’s touch, and Dahyun’s attention. How could she even think that it would all go unnoticed?

“Look.” Yuri sighs. ”I don’t want you to explain thinking that you’re going to be punished. I just want to know why.” 

“It’s just that..” Sana hesitated. “It would seem very self-centered and assuming but..” the younger girl’s voice trailed off in thought. “But I thought that you and Miss Im wanted us to be together. I think I just didn’t want to disappoint you — the both of you. Not at this time.”

“Your intentions are pure but your methods are ill-placed. Does that sound familiar to you?” Yuri said it in a tone that was neither accusing or reprimanding. It was in a tone that cornered Sana with her own realizations because yes, she knows about pure intentions that are done in the least acceptable ways.

"Yoona — she.." Yuri looks up to the night sky for a brief moment, searching her love that might be looking down to her from the stars. "She was very fond of the both of you. At first, I didn't understand why. Maybe I was too occupied of taking care of her. But she kept on insisting on seeing something in you and Dahyun.”

"What was it?" Sana asks softly, hoping to hear something that will feed her hope.

"Us." Yuri smiles. A rare sight these days, but she did. "She saw us in the two of you." 

The wind blows softly, drowning the silence that fell between them. If there's such a thing as comfort in words, this might be it, Sana thought. The grass crunched underneath their feet as they walked closer to where the rest were congregating. Sana gazes at the sight of Jeongyeon holding both of Mina's hands and looking into the producer's eyes like she's the only thing that mattered. 

It makes Sana happy seeing her friend like this. Because in their line of work, things as real as these are hard to come by. Almost like a comet passing or Pluto getting back its planet status. Sana thinks that after all the shit that they went through, Jeongyeon deserves someone like Mina, not really thinking that she deserves a certain someone as well. 

"Yoona sees things that I could never. Not unless she squeezes my cheeks together and face me to a certain direction.” Yuri let out a soft laugh. “Maybe that's why she's the writer and I'm the director." Yuri continues. "So when she became more stubborn about seeing us in you, I began to look for it myself. You know one of the things that I love about her?"

Sana just glances back at Yuri, quietly asking her to share more. 

"Yoona is rarely wrong." Yuri bows her head down and chuckles. "Once upon a time, we held hands under tables and crawled in and out of each other’s windows. Once upon a time, we unconsciously gravitate towards each other, making these small bubbles of us where we both felt safe. We had our fair share of fights, and arguments but we never blow them up into anything that will push us apart.” 

Yuri finally stops walking and faces Sana with folded arms. There was verve in her gaze, enough to hold Sana and her convictions. There are some things that you learn at school, Yuri thinks that Sana got that part covered. But there are things that books can’t teach you, and through the sadness of her life, Yuri felt compelled to push Sana away from her grief. 

“I appreciate your concern on making me feel better despite the things that happened, but Yoona and I would've wanted you guys to be sincerely happy. No pretends, no scripts, no acting. Just you and her, and all of your deepest shades. Yoona told me that I was never really good at putting my thoughts into words, that's why I put it into screens and paste it into scenes,” the older woman stiffly gestures invisible boxes with her hands. “But I'll try anyway.”

Sana nods and smiles sadly.

“I want you to make peace with the fact that you're both doing things the wrong way. A misunderstanding stemming from stupid young love. A young love that Yoona and I shared once upon a time.” Yuri continues. “Yoona was my life. Like holy shit, if you only knew." Yuri laughed to stop the tears from coming. 

She stopped the urge to tell stories about her Greatest Love, because this is about Sana, not her.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have lived my married life showing Yoona how much she meant to me. Every minute between waking and sleeping. Every moment in dreams and daydreams. And even with that, I still feel that I could've done so much more." 

"Miss Yuri — " Sana tried to cut in when she felt Yuri beginning to be a bit more vulnerable, but the older woman wasn’t having it. 

"Never have the same regrets that I had, Sana. The world where you're working in will be relentless and unforgiving. And in moments where you’ll begin to doubt yourself, you'll realize how lucky your are with the love that Dahyun is ready to give. Believe me, if she's a Yuri — she’ll love you ‘til the ends of this god damned earth.” Yuri finally breaths and pauses for a short while. She just watched as Sana closed her eyes shut in surrender, while tipping her head back to turn her face to the sky. There was a fairly light weight resting on Sana’s shoulders, but the words that came after were as heavy as a star collapsing in its own. 

The night was growing late and it was time for them to go. The two women continued walking towards the larger huddle, when Sana’s attention was turned to the hazel haired girl who was hurriedly making her way to her car. Sana thought that there would be satisfaction in her hostility, but her words just left a bitter taste in her tongue and tears from Dahyun’s eyes. 

If her retribution was so well deserved, how come they are still both hurting? Sana could only think as she gazed longingly to Dahyun. And it hurts so much more when Dahyun’s sad eyes met hers. 

“You’re a good girl.” Yuri continues when she noticed this. “So, I don’t want you looking back and telling yourself that you shouldn’t have wasted those times just to stay angry at something that you could’ve easily talked about."

\---

Osaka. Present day.

Lying on her bed, Sana holds up a note against the moonlight. 

The faint glow from the window cuts through the paper, revealing the message that it bears, and how it was written. Clean, deep penmanship — which only suggests Dahyun carefully laying out her heart on this piece of paper. They weren’t hurried scribbles or unintelligible nonsense. It was clear and full of conviction.

And at the bottom corner, Sana realizes that this was written on the day when Jeongyeon caught them fooling around on the couch. Maybe when she asked Dahyun to stay in her room as she talked to her manager. It was a day way, way, way before everything fell apart. It was as if it stood as a warning and an assurance that yes, Dahyun will fuck up, but she knows her feelings to be true. 

It was hidden at the end part of Sana’s book, where she could’ve finished in between a month and in the next three years (according to her brother). Dahyun risked for the confession to be lost in time — not spring up in the most convenient moment and further bait Sana into the lie, if she was indeed lying about her feelings.

Sana closes her eyes and takes the note close to her heart.

“Sana,” she tells herself. “You’re just going to listen.” 

In Seoul, Dahyun’s phone lights up and her heart quickly clenches as she read the name on the notifications. 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Aristotle.

\---

It has been quite a while now since Sana disappeared. Jeongyeon closes another unreplied e-mail, just like the twenty three other messages that she received through her various devices. It was another day of fending off questions as Sana’s self-imposed exile dragged on. It would’ve been okay if she was just gone for a few days, but now they’re looking into a month and a half of her absence. Or at least, that’s what they counted so far.

As Jeongyeon slaved on, the weight of the bed shifted when Mina pushed her back up against the headboard.

“Hey, I checked out this lounge bar last week and I think we should go there this weekend.” Mina suggested with a hint of excitement. 

Jeongyeon bites her lip and tilts her chin up. It’s so easy for Mina to mix up her thoughts and it’s something that Jeongyeon doesn’t need right now.

“Or we could try that new yakitori place that you were raving about. I think that sounds fun.” Mina continues as she swiped about the restaurant’s reviews. “Maybe we can watch the Lion King in Seoul Arts that day, too! I can score us easy tickets.” 

Mina quickly glances at the Jeongyeon, who was obviously much more interested on e-mails than whatever Mina just said. She just stared at her laptop screen with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes.

“Jeongyeon, I would really appreciate it if you talk to me for a quick sec.” 

A string breaks inside Jeongyeon, like a loud clap an inch away from her ear. 

"Mina, I'm sorry but can you figure this out on your own first? Because obviously, you've decided on this already and you’re just letting me know." Jeongyeon suddenly huffed out, making Mina much more quieter than how she usually is. Mina’s shoulder sinks, and her inquisitive smile dampens into pressed pursed lips. Afterall, she was just trying to plan things with her girlfriend.

When the moment of silence quickly drowned the space between them, Jeongyeon finally looks at the disappointed girl. It didn't take too long before Jeongyeon realized that she just had a small outburst. "Mina," she turns and takes both Mina's hands. "I am so sorry. That was unfair and uncalled for. I’m sorry" 

Mina looked at Jeongyeon's eyes but not in anger, or offense, or annoyance. It was filled more of concern. Besides, it was only the first time Jeongyeon snapped and Mina knew, once upon a time, how it is in Jeongyeon’s current position.  The snapping that she just had was not even the worst kind of breaking (which Jeongyeon will witness Mina do in their long relationship). 

“Put your laptop down.” 

“Mina.”

“I mean it. Put it down on the floor now.” Mina nodded towards the spot right below Jeongyeon. The manager obeys, and quickly realizes how helpless she is at Mina’s sudden seriousness. As she placed her devices on the floor, she could already feel her mood lightening up. Who knew that literally putting away everything can help you get that brief moment of clarity? 

Jeongyeon regains her posture, then she feels the bed suddenly shift its weight so now she’s looking at Mina’s eyes who’s currently straddling her by the hips. If Mina is going to ride her like this everytime her mood is off, then Jeongyeon might actually risk pretending to be in a bad mood (She wouldn’t do this because it’s a hard risk. Mina might actually leave her). 

Warm skin touches Jeongyeon’s cheeks when Mina’s cups and tilts them towards her gaze.

“Jeongie. Are you okay?” Mina asks with a soft kiss. Jeongyeon squeezes Mina’s slim waist as their lips touched and she could’ve swore that Mina smiled against the touch. Jeongyeon hates it when Mina knows how easy it is to get through. 

The manager forced out a chuckle and shook her head. 

“Everyone that Sana left has been on my tail. Everyone except Kim Dahyun.” Jeongyeon explained with her voice sounding like a half sigh. “I’m gonna kill her once she comes back.” 

“We can always plan your revenge when she comes back.” Mina leans in for another soft kiss. “In the meantime, I’d like you to clear your head first. You’re becoming too antsy. I want my sprightly Jeongie back.”

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, babe.” Mina sing-songed as she ran a finger down the length of Jeongyeon’s nose. “You good now?” 

“Very.” the manager closed her eyes. If Jeongyeon is going to be honest, getting into a relationship while working in a whirlwind of an industry can get a bit overwhelming. But there is respite in Mina’s company because she never fails to remind the both of them of other responsibilities that are worth committing to. “So, uhh, Lion King. Want it on a Friday or a Saturday?” 

“Saturday.” Mina suggests as she got off Jeongyeon, her hand sliding from the other girl’s shoulder then down to her hand. A quick squeeze. A lingering touch. “That way, we’d have the whole day together. I’m gonna check out the show schedules.”  Then Mina swiped on her phone.

“Yeah, let’s block it off now before our employers get this radical idea of stealing a weekend that’s rightfully ours. Glory to the Worker’s Party! Down with the bourgeoisie!” Jeongyeon pumps up her fist, which Mina also kinda did but without looking, screaming or wishing death to the upper class. 

“This weekend or the next one?” Jeongyeon rolls on her tummy and buried her face on a pillow. She waited for Mina’s answer but there was only silence. Is she really this bad at giving choices? At least that’s what Jeongyeon thought. “The weekend after the next?” and so she adds.

Her rolled dice were met with the same lull. So, Jeongyeon rolls on her back, half worrying on how stupid she probably looks like in the case that Mina left the room. 

But she was still there when Jeongyeon glanced at her direction, seemingly bothered by whatever she’s reading (completely judging on her furrowed brows).

“Uhhh, Jeongie?” Mina walked towards the manager without even breaking her staring contest with her phone. “I might have to ban you from all of your devices tonight.” She shows her phone to her girlfriend, where the other leaned in closer to read the details. Mina just watched her expression turn from blank, to a frown, then to narrowed eyes and pressed pursed lips. 

“My revenge plot would have to wait.” Jeongyeon drops down on the bed once more, staring at the ceiling blankly. “And I’m banned to talk to anyone tonight?” 

“Yup. You’re only allowed to talk to me. And your mom.” 

“Hmm.” she lets out an audible sigh. Those are still good options. “Might be for the best right now.”

“What does your foresight tell you?" Mina climbs back to bed and curls on the spot right beside Jeongyeon. 

“Nothing. This is, unfortunately, entirely up to them.”

\---

Manager Chun looks out her window while her phone was going off in lights, begging desperately for her attention. It shows a registered number from their company which only added up to the growing list of her missed calls. 

In the silence that she afforded from the storm, the corner of her lips curved up into a smile. 

It’s a good day to send off Dahyun, she thought. And a good day to re-evaluate her options. On her bed was a sealed manila envelope that contained a promise of a new life. Not only for her but for the young actress she’s willing to be her life on. 

After years of working with the Nation’s First Love, Chun Woohee can’t help but feel a bit of pride as a manager. There’s one thing that everybody in her agency learned from this entire ordeal — they should not have pushed Dahyun so far. 

\---

Sana gets up from the couch and hunched down over her phone. It didn’t take long when she hears footsteps running down the stairs in an obvious sign of panicked hurry. Sana paid no interest to it though as there are far more important things that needed her intimate attention.

Her heart beats a bit faster in erratic skipped beats as if it’s trying to break free from her rib cage. She presses her lips together, trying to hold down the fluttering feeling in her tummy. It was so strange that after all these months, Dahyun could still make her feel things. 

And If she really hates Dahyun that much, a message like this shouldn’t make her ache for her this way.

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

I’m coming to you. 

But it did. In the eve of their redemption, Dahyun still makes her feel too much, and want too much. And if Dahyun is willing to leave all of it behind just for her, then what reason can Sana ever hold against Dahyun who’s only desire is to speak to her just for a moment? Dahyun was not even asking to go back to how it was, but only for a moment for Sana to listen. 

The footsteps came closer, and the figure just placed an opened laptop on the coffee table.

**[Koreaboo]:** BREAKING - Kim Dahyun Drops Her Agency. No Contract Renewal **.**

\---

The lights on the freeway zipped through quickly, blending in an almost endless beam of yellow light. Sana would say something about this looking like they’re travelling in lightspeed or that they’re getting heavier because they’re travelling so fast. 

Dahyun quietly rests her head against the car window, telling herself on how much she misses her Sana. Taeyeon just laughs at the sight. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. It’s just that mom and dad would’ve killed you right now for stirring up trouble like this.” Taeyeon signals to veer left.

“They better get in line, I still have you, Manager Chun, and Minatozaki Sana.” 

“Bold, bold plan, Dahyun. Too bold even for me.” years of driving makes it easy for Taeyeon to overtake every car that they pass. “Say, what happens if all turns to shit?” 

“I sign with JYP, then start from scratch. It will be a long arduous journey but JYP can easily manage the fallout.” Dahyun’s eyes lazily blinked. ‘It also give Manager Chun a good place to grow, given her set of skills.”

Taeyeon raises an eyebrow and smiles. There are rare times where Dahyun replies on well-thought answers for her not so well thought ideas. It gave Taeyeon that amount of relief knowing that she could entail her sister to decisions without worrying about her too much. 

“Is it just me or did you age ten years?” Taeyeon glances at the passenger seat as she easily changes gears. Dahyun just laughs at Taeyeon’s question, which she only replied with a soft punch to her older sister’s shoulder. “What time is the flight again?” 

“Three in the morning.” 

“Time check?” Taeyeon side eyes her side mirror.

“Twenty two minutes after midnight.” 

“I wish someone would also take the last flight out for me. Good thing you’re right in the head now. Gives me time to flirt with people.”

“Oh, please. You dumped a total of five girls in the past three years and left men with no chance to win.” Dahyun straightens up when she finally sees the airport from afar, surreally glowing like a lighthouse in the middle of a stormy sea. 

“It must’ve felt bad living under the shadow of my unending charm.” Taeyeon winks at her sister as they head towards the expressway exit. 

“I don’t know, Kim Taeyeon. You’re driving your little sister to chase after the love of her life, so you tell me.”

\---

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

I have arranged for a chauffeur to bring you to your hotel. 

I know that you don’t want me to but I want you to be safe. 

I wanted to be there to welcome you but I can’t. Not yet. 

Dahyun quickly paced as she felt the cameras go off. Flashes here, and a couple of flashes there, the crowd called out for her to look at their direction. She clutched her phone closely against her chest, looking for a well dressed man with her name on a piece of paper. 

If all hope is lost, why would Sana tell her that she wants her to be safe?

The thought distracted her from the now growing crowd when they started to realize that Dahyun just landed in Osaka. The Kim Dahyun who starred in a famous drama. Kim Dahyun who’s face is right on the small billboards around the airport. Kim Dahyun who starred with their very own hometown sweetheart, Minatozaki Sana. 

But today, she is not all that. She stripped herself off that future to be worthy of something much more lasting. 

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Your sister told me that you got on the last flight out.

Please get some sleep.You’ll need it.

You can always talk to me after that.

It was around seven in the morning when Dahyun finally settles in her hotel. She climbs on the bed and closed her eyes to sleep. Or at least she tried to, for rest is elusive at the eve of a significant event. Like Wellington in Waterloo. Probably the 101st Airborne in June of 1944, or the astronauts of Apollo 11. 

There was a hint of worry like what if she did not wake up on time? What if she doesn’t sleep at all then fall asleep when she sees Sana? That would’ve been an inconvenient time to lose consciousness. What if Sana wanted to see her all of a sudden and she’s too tired to reply? 

_ BZZZT! BZZZZZT! _

__

Her phone lights up and played out a very familiar tone. One that she hears every morning. Or very early morning if she has projects that would require her to get up really early. 

Conditioning has taught her to wake up on the beeping sound, much like how she did when Sana slept with her for the first time. Sana and her panicked face, and pretend sleep. She was so cute back then — confused on why she woke up beside Dahyun. 

Dahyun sits up, wondering what time she dozed out. It’s now nine in the evening, Osaka. The city where Sana was born. Where Dahyun’s dream grew up. Where Dahyun would finally meet her resolutions.

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Meet me at this address..

I’ll be there.

I promise to listen this time.

The chauffeur drops her off at quiet street corner in a neighborhood not far from where Dahyun was staying. There were only a few people walking down the main street, mostly geriatrics that would most probably mistake her for someone else. Other than that, they paid her no attention. 

She walks up to the street on the address that was pinned on her map app and followed the path right beside the stream. She kinda wished that there were cicadas. The kind of which she heard when she was shooting The Deepest Shades of You with Sana. 

Dahyun chuckled at the thought of it, especially when she remembered Sana’s reaction when she found out that Dahyun is gay. 

Oh, thank god she’s super cute.

Quiet taps of her heels against old cobblestones made the uphill route much bearable. Easier, even, despite the cold. There was no real need for her to rehearse whatever she came her to say. She already did that for the past months — in front of a mirror, in voice mail, when she was crying. Dreaming. Daydreaming. Or practically anytime that she could allow herself to.

All this time, she have thought of what to say and it is simple. All she has to do is tell the truth.

She stops infront of a park. The warm light from the street lamps glazed over the vividly colored fixtures of see-saws, go-rounds, spring rides, monkey bars, and other implements that would make any kid crazy during the afternoons. When her GPS bleeps to tell her that she arrived, her heart swells in nervousness and her body loosens up as if her insides felt like warm jelly. 

“Okay.” she breathes and walks in further the kid’s park. It kind of makes her more nervous when she felt that no one is practically here. Sana wouldn’t send a killer after her. With the messages that she received from her today, Dahyun knew that Sana doesn’t hate her that much. 

But that doesn’t mean that her body can’t relax, She could feel her hands shake a bit and her heart picked up the pace. 

Until a familiar voice chimed with the evening wind. 

“Please don’t tell me you flew all the way from Seoul just to find me.”

Dahyun would’ve jumped, screamed, and ran. But how, when she found herself drowning inside Sana’s brown eyes. It has been a good while since she last saw them full of serenity. Not anger. Not pain. And not confusion. 

Those were the same pair of eyes that stared into her being in nights where they did things that people shouldn’t know. In longing stares and wanting.

“And if I did?” Dahyun smiles. 

“Aristotle. Aristotle.” Sana smiles back. Not in taunting, but actually smiling. “Come. Sit with me.” Sana pats down on the other vacant swing beside her. 

Rusty metal squeaks in a steady monotonous up-down tune as Sana swung as far as her planted feet could take her. Which is not very far. Maybe just a bit, like the wind pushing the swings. 

Dahyun joins her, clasping her hands together and hung them over her knees. Her eyes trailed down on the fallen leaves. She hates how just seeing Sana smile made her forget whatever she was about to say, and so ended up looking at the discarded foliage and hope they contain the answers.

But in the middle of her mental wrestling, Sana speaks up softly. 

“I used to play here when I was a kid.” she loosely wraps her hands around each chain of the swing. “I remember playing here with my friends. Girls, all of them.” Sana looks down and chuckles as she was reminded of the older days. On how the signs were obvious, and how it made her what she is today. “While it’s quite normal to mix boys with us girls, I usually end up  with a group of girls. Fast forward to my conflicted years of junior high, I often find myself stuttering in front of pretty girls, and easily holding my own against men. I only knew then that the feeling was different when this guy from senior high gave me gifts compared to when his classmate gave me a letter. She took it back a couple of weeks later, leaving me hurt and embarrassed. But it was the day that everything fell into place.” Sana forced out a chuckle. 

“I remember sitting here that day, thinking about how un-normal I am in a place so obsessed with normal. Was it a sin? Hell, do I care. All I know is that I cannot lie to myself. And that if I get hurt in doing so, I’d still think that it was worth every second of it.” Sana looks up to the night sky and a thin trail of breath bursts out between her lips. The subtle mixture of the streetlights and the moonlight outlined her features perfectly (especially her nose) that Dahyun swore that Sana was made of light. 

“I’m sorry, Dahyun.” she smiles sadly. “I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry for shutting you out. And I’m sorry for putting this distance between us. I was wrong because after all these months, I thought I could take the pain. Maybe I could, but most definitely not from you.” 

At this moment, Dahyun’s eyes began to well with tears. Just when she thought she had no tears to give, Sana breaks her resolve without even trying. The apology ate her up from the inside because it was supposed to be her, not Sana, who should be apologizing. But maybe this night is about something else. About building bridges and tearing down walls they so diligently put up.

“Sana,” Dahyun’s voice cracks. “There are times that I think I don’t deserve a love like yours. Especially now that you’re apologizing for things that I’ve caused.”

Sana turns to look at the Dahyun. The Korean girl sucked in her lips as a tear falls and hits a dry leaf. Sana’s heart beats loudly, drowning out the science in her head, and fuelled the feelings in her heart.

If she hated Dahyun that much, she should not be feeling this way. But she did, and she liked every moment of it.

“In those times,” Dahyun continued “I allow myself to be selfish and keep the love that I don’t even deserve.” her voice finally breaks. 

“Dahyunnie.” Sana calls out. 

It felt warm, Dahyun thought. It’s been a damn while since Sana called her that.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I was lured into the promise of fame and the craft, then somewhere down I failed to realize how much lying I’d have to do against myself. I had to act a certain way, bring myself in a certain way, and love people in a certain way. So when a chance came to be that person I almost forgot, I took it. No matter what the cost.” she wipes a tear with the back of her hand.

“I sold the idea with a stronger fanbase from the both of us. Recognitions for acting gay. Can you believe it? I was ‘acting’ gay.”  a forced laugh followed. “I sold them with media traction, and a larger clout produced in the shortest amount of time possible. Then..” Dahyun turns to Sana for the first time since this conversation started, and it was only then that Sana realized how beautiful Dahyun was in the deepest shades of her honesty. “Then you came along. You came in like the raging sea and I drowned before I could even learn how to swim.” 

“It was hard not to like someone like you, you know?” Sana breaks her gaze shyly.

“So are you.” Dahyun finally laughs even between tears. “I came in with the wrong intentions and there is no excuse for that. But I came out with the right person. The right person loving my true self.” 

Dahyun’s lungs finally collapse in relief, letting out the breath that Dahyun didn’t know she was holding. There is vindication in telling the truth, or giving the chance to hear it. And once upon a night, in Osaka, the only thing that’s left for them to do is to pick up their pieces in hopes that they’ll find each other again. 

And they did. 

“I love you, Sana.” Dahyun admits. “I wish we met in a kinder circumstance but I love you.” 

The swing squeaks, and the chains chinked. Sana takes a knee in front of Dahyun, cupping the other girl’s cheeks like they’re the most precious thing in this world. Sana’s gaze dives into hazel eyes, and she was reminded of that wonderful moment where their eyes met for the first time. 

It’s so strange that it still feels like the first time. 

“It will take time for the world to be kind to us, and we would have to deal with things on the daily,” Sana rubs her thumb over Dahyun’s cheek, wiping off a trail of tears. “But I will be faithful to you, and as long as you are, I will give us everything I’ve got.”

Dahyun closes her eyes and leans her cheek closer to the touch.

“So, Dahyun, can you promise to not lie to me, to devote yourself to me, and to love me as how you want yourself to be loved?“

“Yes.” Dahyun nods. “Can you forgive me for —”

“Yes.Yes I do.” 

There are times when things cannot be explained by the Laws of Physics, much like feelings that cannot be expressed with words. There are so much things to say but no words can ever suffice the feeling it so entails, so Dahyun responds to the only way she knew how. 

Dahyun leans and kisses Sana because, at this moment, it felt right. That in this place that Sana discovered herself, it felt right. Dahyun kisses deeper, her lips parting to breath in Sana’s taste, and it was so painfully sweet because just like Sana drowning into hazel eyes, this felt like the very first time. 

The Laws of Gravitation 2.0 starts again with Day 1.

\---

Two swings lay empty that one night in Osaka, but Sana’s room isn’t as lonely the playground they left. 

Sana carries Dahyun by the thighs and rams her back against the door of her closet. She was half thanking the universe that her mom isn’t home right now especially that Dahyun’s hotel is such a bad idea. Too many eyes, too many ears, too many lips that thirst for a good gossip. Sana wanted Dahyun all to herself tonight, and so her room will have to be baptized with a love she thought she’ll never have. 

Dahyun wraps her arms around Sana’s neck, pulling her closer just to taste more of Sana’s sweet lips. Cravings are hard to get rid off — she learned the hard way, but this is one of the few things that she let herself get addicted to. 

Sana’s lips melted with hers, in flavors of parched kisses and warm breath. The moment only screamed what Dahyun had been feeling the past few months — that she was deprived, and she hated herself for being so eager and so desperate in everything that’s Sana. 

They only break the kiss to catch some air, then it was all teasing and temptations, painful temptations, through grazing lips and tips of tongues. The need to touch and to be touched by Sana started out as drops of urges that quickly spilled out from Dahyun’s seams. The months spent apart finally breaks her and the pent up wanting only made her consume Sana in her ever consuming fire. 

Searing kisses began to suck on Sana’s jaw where she has always been weak, and so she falls on the bed with her head fogging up in lustful haze and relief.

Relief, because Dahyun is crawling on top of her and not in a city miles away and across the sea. Relief, because she listened to Yuri, and now they’re not wasting time. Relief, because vanilla scented tresses veil over them both and is not some remnant fragrance left on pillows. Relief, because touching Dahyun isn’t just a dream on those lonely nights anymore. 

Sana looks into hazel eyes that were glazed with the faint moonlight, but before she could dive in further, Dahyun’s lips finds hers. Sana could only dig her nails into the back of Dahyun’s shoulders because she needs to know that they’re together in this moment, and that this is not some kind of cruel wet dream where she wakes up so worked up and missing Dahyun. And damn, Dahyun replies with her hand roaming in places where she knew would make Sana’s back arch into a bow. 

Sana gasps for air as ticklish touches became passionate rubbing. Dahyun still knows what to do, and where to go. Tongues glide against goosebumped skin, so Sana just holds onto shoulder blades because she missed this. She missed how Dahyun could easily make her bud throb, or how she makes her heart try to catch up with the pace of her fingers, where comfort can only be given by hitched breaths and sweet moans. 

“I missed you so so much.” Dahyun hissed warm breath into Sana’s ear, that the only reply she could give is a shaky gasp. “So so much.”

Sana’s lungs burn but Dahyun won’t give her the time to brace herself against the peak. Close, so close. Dahyun pushes harder and deeper, with her thumb tracing circles over that sweet spot. 

A hand bunches the covers. Toes curl. Then Sana prays to Dahyun’s name. Praying that this night would never end. 

The long night goes on with rounds of making love. Geography lessons of fingers re-exploring hills, peaks, and valley gushing with their passionate love. A tear rolls down Sana’s cheek, because how — how can people ever think this is wrong when it feels so goddamn right? 

Sana may not have an answer to that question, nor she can refute it using every bit of her scientific propensity, but there is one thing she’s sure of — that she missed being close to Dahyun. She missed sleeping with her, or watching her sleep. So much so that it was a treat when she saw Dahyun’s brow cutely furrowing a bit when she grazes the knuckles of her fingers against Dahyun’s cheek. It was such a treat when Dahyun sleepily mumbles Sana’s name so close that she could taste her sweet breath in the air between their lips. 

Sana and Dahyun are both unsure of what happens from here on, but they are here now, facing their new quantum reality together. There are no more scripts, no more pretends, and no more hidden feelings for each other. Sana would be lying if she’s not a bit scared of losing Dahyun again. She has gone through that and she might not make it if she does so again. 

But the fear of losing quickly dissipates when Dahyun stirs in her sleep, instinctively putting her arm over Sana’s bare waist, as if Dahyun knew that Sana was right there beside her. 

Maybe, even falling head first into the unknown abyss, they might make it. But they can only know if they promise to be there for each other when the world they live in decides to be unkind. 

There is only one way to find out for sure. And so Sana makes Dahyun smile sleepily when she presses a soft kiss on the corner of the other girl’s lips. Then, she carefully gets out of bed and steps out of her room, taking her phone with her. 

\---

The soft rays of sunlight touches Dahyun’s half opened eyes. There was a part of her that stopped her from getting up because if last night’s dream was true, then Sana should be lying beside her in all her mortal glory.  But the other side of the bed was empty, then there was a familiar pang in Dahyun’s chest. 

Hope still burns, however, because as she opens her eyes, she realized that this is not her hotel room. It awfully looks like the place she had in that dream, except it wasn’t just a cruel dream.

The door carefully opens and Sana slips inside the room. Dahyun wanted to greet her but she stops herself when she realized that this person looked different. Track shorts, an oversized university shirt, a messy low ponytail and a pair of round spectacles. Dahyun’s brows furrow and her head tilts. 

“Hey.” Sana leans in and presses a soft kiss on Dahyun’s cheek. But before she could pull away, Dahyun hooked her hand over Sana’s nape. 

“Since when did you wear glasses?” she brings their noses closer.

“Junior high school. Why?” 

“Has anybody told you how damn attractive you are?” 

“I’m not sure.” Sana crinkles her nose. “It only matters when you say it.” 

Dahyun laughs and rolls her eyes at Sana’s pathetic attempt to woe her. It even came in first thing in the morning way before Dahyun can brush her teeth. But coming from a life without Sana, Dahyun would take this moment any day. Because what matters is that Sana is here and Sana, just like how they were, greeted her good morning. 

“By the way, mom’s set to arrive soon. You better get up. I got some clothes ready. You can use my bathroom.” Sana rubbed the tip of her nose against Dahyun’s before sealing the moment with another kiss. Then she went out of the room to get breakfast ready. 

It’s been a while since Sana was home this long, and it would seem that the universe made this reunion a whole lot meaningful than before. 

They shared breakfast with Sana’s mom, who Dahyun charmed almost effortlessly. It was only Sana’s brother, Tatsuo, who became a bit awkward, mostly because he’s not as fluent in Korean (compared to Sana and his mom) and he’s sharing his weekend breakfast with people who he only sees on TV. 

(“Aaah! Ugh ah! Me see people from talking magic box!” Sana mocks his brother’s voice and hunches over, making her best rendition of a neanderthal. “Get a frickin’ grip, boy. As if you never liked the attention of having me as a sister.” 

Tatsuo only replies by snatching the TV remote and aims it to her sister, and his sister’s girlfriend. He presses on some buttons, then made a few taps against his palm. 

“Mom, I think the TV’s broken. It’s annoying me again.”)

They spent most of the day with Dahyun getting to know Sana’s family. How Sana grew up both in Japan and Korea, and how her mom migrated here for work, to which, ironically Sana migrated to Korea for work. 

Dahyun can’t tell on which one warms her heart more — if it’s the fact that Sana welcomed her into the most intimate circle of people that she has, or the fact that Sana lets Dahyun snuggle close to her as she listened to all these stories. In the middle of all that thought, Dahyun still finds Sana’s hand just like before. Then she locks her fingers in between as she let herself fall deeper into comfort — just like before and also way different than before.

This small excursion has been very surreal, to say the least. But Dahyun wouldn’t have it any other way.

\---

That same evening, Dahyun helps in making dinner. It’s the least she could do since Sana’s mom insisted on cooking Dahyun’s favorite. There was an inexplicable relief that made her heart swell in the nicest ways. Dahyun’s family liked Sana, and now, Sana’s family liked her as well. 

Right outside, just by the yard, Sana and Tatsuo tended to the flames of the grill. Compared to Dahyun’s laughter inside the kitchen, the mood outside was a little more serious. Sana stoked the embers almost absent mindedly, while her brother pressed his back against a pillar. 

“I heard you made a call last night.” Tatsuo stares down at the flames. 

“Oh yeah?” Sana stared at the same thing, not even glancing behind towards her brother. 

“Yeah.” her brother nods. 

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, with Sana calculating the words to say and with her brother trying to find the right questions to make her sister open up. The silence only made the both of them realize that in the brief history of realities, this sweet dream will have to end one way or the other,because after all, they are both artists that are currently on their way to the peak of their careers. 

“Are you thinking of keeping this a secret once you get back?” 

“Dahyun doesn’t deserve that.” Sana answers.

“So you’re gonna break up with her?” 

“Not a damn chance.” 

“Not a secret, and not a break up.” Tatsuo chuckles. “Holy fucking shit, Sana. I think I kinda know where this is going. You want me to help you think about Jeongyeon’s bribe?” 

“Well.” Sana finally laughs. “I already got that one covered.” 

They both laughed for a short while before it subsides into a lull once again. Tatsuo felt lucky that he never has to go through whatever Sana is going through, and it’s through Sana’s struggle that he realized on why his sister can be so overbearing. She wanted him to get into a place where decisions like this wouldn’t matter. That in any choice he’d take, it will never be as risky as this. 

“I just want you to know,” Tatsuo breaks the silence. “Whatever happens, you can always come home here.” 

Sana freezes at his words. And while she only stood there with her eyes fixed on the flame, Tatsuo knew that his words got through. 

Just like the day when Sana came out to them, all she needs is the assurance that her family stays with her. 

“Sis.” he laughs. “Ask me about the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics again. The apple tree question.” 

“Apple tree question. Fuck you.” Sana continued to stoke the flames with obvious laughters in between. It’s funny how in this phase of her life, she still got to watch her brother grow. Only time can tell on how far he’ll go but Sana wished that it would be way farther than hers. 

And so she asks. “What’s the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics?”

“If A is B and B is C, then A is C.” he answers confidently. “Your concept of love is same as my concept of love. So if my concept of love is right, then how can yours ever be wrong?” 

Sana drops the metal stick and finally turns to her brother. She looked at this boy, a bit shorter than her, confidently leaning his shoulder against the pillar. She wanted to think that she did something right in this moment because she ended up with Dahyun’s love and at the same time, she saw how her brother grew up from a nonsensical teen to a semi-formed fetus adult. 

She wanted to cry but she can’t give her brother the ammunition. She’s quite sure that he’ll bring this up later in their life, when he made her tough older sister melt into a puddle of affection.

Maybe next time, but definitely not today. Today is a matter of faith. Faith in her brother, and faith in her love.

“Yup. Farther.” Sana concludes with a nod.

\---

Jeongyeon was in a very sprightly mood when she came out from the CEO’s office. It was evident in her confident strut and how she winked at their receptionist when she peacocked her way through the main lobby.

“She already here?” one of the managers called out when Jeongyeon passed by their small group. The younger manager just spins and walks backwards before speaking up. 

“Tomorrow, Jinyoung. We’re back in the game tomorrow.” she says with a tongue click and a finger gun. 

If one would judge Jeongyeon’s mood, it’s easy to say that things are finally letting up. Far more contradicting than the phone call she received last night from her favorite and only client. Her air drumming fingers masks the fact that this might be the end of their world as far as she’s concerned, and that the meeting she had this morning was all about letting the agency brace themselves of what’s about to go down.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” the security personnel greets her on her way out. 

“What can I say? It’s a good day to die.” Jeongyeon grins brightly before disappearing out into the glass double doors.

\---

Sana tugs down on the thick blanket to cover Dahyun’s exposed toes. Dahyun just laughs at this, remembering how Sana took care of her for the whole duration of shooting The Deepest Shades of You. 

These nights reminded her of those days — her lying on long recliners under the moonlight with their eyes reflecting steady embers from an open flame. Sana sitting at the edge of another recliner, watching the bonfire with proud satisfaction. The wind rustles through the dried leaves and a faint sound of music coming in from the portable speaker that they brought outside with them. It was a far cry from the days of hustle where the only breaks she could enjoy are her alone times inside her car. In their high time, Dahyun enjoyed these quiet moments as it would mean she has to answer Sana’s calls. 

Thinking about it now, this very moment felt like a luxury, and Dahyun wanted to be selfish and bask in every minute of it. She curls up tighter, covering her small frame with the heavy duvet while she takes in a lungful of Osaka air. Then, it was Sana’s turn to smile. 

“What are you thinking about?” Dahyun asks as her eyes lazily blinked.

At first, Sana would only chuckle and look down on her bottle of beer. Then, she would arch her back to stretch, letting out an audible sigh. 

“I just wish we could stay this way for a longer time.” 

And Dahyun wished so, too. But they both knew that the world they left hanging wouldn’t be there forever. That on the other side of the sea, there are realities that they need to live. While they are not sure to what their future holds, Dahyun remained hopeful that they make it through. That all will end well because the only thing they did is to love with all they’ve got.

Dahyun smiles sadly, then pats on the small vacant spot on her recliner. It didn’t take too much convincing for Sana to take the spot no matter how small it was. It’s actually better since Dahyun gets to snuggle closer.  

“Yeah. Would’ve been nice to have a few more days.” 

“Right?” Sana leans in closer and Dahyun knew exactly what she wanted. She kisses Sana back, a quick peck and then some. “Let’s plan one in the future. Two weeks long with the majority of it not spent in pathetic isolation.” 

“I dig that.” Dahyun laughs then she kisses Sana’s lips one more time. “Jeongyeon ready?” 

“Yeah.” Sana sits up. “Miss Chun?” 

“Even before I got here.” 

“That’s good.” Sana nods and looks up to the sky. “That’s good.” 

The small moment descended into silence. The kind of which that’s reserved for deep thinking and decisions. Dahyun drew circles on Sana’s back, while Sana reached for Dahyun’s cheek and caressed it with her thumb. Neither of them said a word for quite some time, until Dahyun felt the urge to do so.

“You know, you could be a scientist still, and I’d be a music teacher.” Dahyun’s voice breaks out from the small quiet space between them.

“I guess we got this all planned out.” Sana finally looks down to meet Dahyun’s star filled hazel eyes. “There’s only one thing left for us to do.” then Sana glanced down on Dahyun’s sweet supple lips before looking right back at her eyes. 

“Do we really need to kiss?” 

“Yes.”

“Good.” Dahyun wraps her arms around Sana’s neck to pull her in. 

It’s crazy how Sana’s brain go off into a hundred million fireworks whenever her lips presses so intimately hard against Dahyun’s. And Sana knows Dahyun feels the same way, especially when she feels Dahyun’s fingers dig into the tresses sprawled behind her nape, as if holding on for dear life. 

There was a click. Then there was a beep.

\---

Back in Seoul, a teen girl screams so loud it woke up the entire house. In the same neighborhood, a college boy key smashes on his keyboard, expressing how his heart was torn into a hundred pieces. Fan cafes began linking a post, and several others began popping up. There was a sudden ruckus in Dispatch office, and Newsen, and every other online tabloid circulations.

In Hongdae, Manager Chun smiles. “Holy..”

In Myeondeong, Taeyeon mutters. “Fucking…”

On the floor above where Sana and Dahyun are, Tatsuo laughs. “.. shit?!” 

And as the fandoms descended into a frenzy, only one woman embraced the event in uncanny calm and focused resilience. She was so calm that she’s even singing to the tune of France’s La Marseillaise (the nation’s revolutionary anthem written in 1792). 

From air drumming fingers this morning to conducting an invisible orchestra —  Mina just watched Jeongyeon from the bed, laughing at how she sang the lyrics with the little French she knew (little, of course, means zero in French). It was an apt tune for the occasion, and it was also a coincidence that it was an anthem against the upper class. 

“I like this song, Mina. I like it very much.” Jeongyeon continues to sing in a deeper ‘working class’ voice.

Meanwhile, all over Korea, an unseen revolution unfolds as a revolutionary tune continues to fill Jeongyeon’s apartment. One message gets sent to another. One article flashes after another. In a matter of sheer minutes, the most searched items that night were Minatozaki Sana and Kim Dahyun — and with it, are search tags for LGBT, love, and couple. 

Mina places her tablet down to join into whatever Jeongyeon was doing. She sits on her girlfriend’s lap and sways them about to match the marching tune. 

Jeongyeon’s phone goes off in flashing lights, and on the screen of Mina’s tablet was an opened article.

**[Koreaboo]:** Minatozaki Sana and Kim Dahyun Confirmed Dating!

\---

Twitter and other social media websites blew up as fans posted pictures of Dahyun and Sana. One posted a gif on how Sana looked at  Dahyun  _ that _ way when they both appeared in an interview. Another fan posted their red carpet pictures where Dahyun asked Sana to be her escort. Linked arms and bright smiles, they looked strangely comfortable in this kind of closeness. There were also video clips of them in variety shows, and how Sana would just stare into Dahyun’s eyes, then Dahyun would know the correct answer. Hundreds of clips were unearthed from the forgotten corners of both their fandoms, all of which contained their small interactions which raised a lot of suspicion. 

A user commented: “I KNEW IT!” while she posted a clip of Sana rubbing her thumb on Dahyun’s thigh. One even went as far as providing a link to thirsty fans — it was Dahyun’s guest appearance in a show where she and IU (and maybe there were other useless hosts there as well) discussed on how Minatozaki Sana, the Japanese actress, became Dahyun’s ideal type.

It did not stop there. Artist friends commented and tagged them in posts to congratulate them. A particular Bae Joohyun posted “Love is love is love. - Lin-Manuel Miranda” on Sana’s Instagram post. It spawned thousands of engagements for its first five minutes, making it one of the most popular IG posts in Asia. Son Chaeyoung, one of their co-stars posted heart eyes and a greeting, while singer and host Lee Ji-eun expressed that she can’t hold her excitement. Afterall, she is one of the first ones to sniff it out. 

Meanwhile, in a house miles away from Seoul, Dahyun giggles and squeals against Sana’s ticklish kisses on her neck. Having Sana on top of her isn’t really a new thing but it’s definitely something she’s not gonna grow tired of. They fooled around over and under the covers, hands roaming in places it shouldn’t. There were sweet nothings breathed into another’s lips, and playful bites that resulted in soft moans and laughter. In a few hours, they’ll be taking their flight to pick up where their lives left of. 

In a few hours, it will be a whirlwind of press releases and interviews, so Dahyun trails soft kisses from Sana’s jaw and up to the tip of her sharp nose. She argues that the world can wait for a while, and that they could just check their phones tomorrow morning. 

Tonight, the world would have to deal with the both of them being so drunk in love. That in a place where it was almost impossible, they still found love. 

\---

Seoul International Airport. 9:17 AM, Korean Standard Time.

"You ready?" Sana says.

"Yeah. Do I look good?"

"Always. But if you really need to ask.. here, use my shades." 

Dahyun stands on her toes (Sana is a bit taller than her) and leaned in closer to look at her reflection on Sana's aviators. It would've been a fun makeshift mirror if Sana wasn’t wearing it over her distracting face but Dahyun doesn’t have much of a choice.

Besides, the only problem here is Dahyun stopping herself from stealing a kiss.

"Yup, I'm good." the Korean actress lands on her soles.

"Alright. Let's do this."

"Uh, babe?" Dahyun mumbles and Sana felt a hand tug on the ends of her denim jacket.

"Yeah?" 

"I'm nervous." Dahyun whispers.

"Aren’t you always?” Sana laughs. “But if you really need to ask. Here. Hold my hand." 

The entire airport lobby lit up in camera flashes and roars of adoring fans from both parties. Media people were on the front lines, pressed between the swooning fans and the metal barricades. The security staff served as human shields to prevent people from toppling over the limits or if someone gets the bright idea of jumping onto the actresses. 

Sana and Dahyun made their way through the crowd without letting go of each other’s hand. There were cheers, screams, and chants. Banners were everywhere and phones were high up over everyone’s head, hoping that they can save a glimpse of this new couple.

Sana bows and greets the left side of the crowd because Jeongyeon said that the majority of her fan cafe is here. Dahyun did the same on the opposite side because Woohee mentioned that her fans rallied on this side. It’s hard to discern, however, as both sides were carrying placards for ‘SaiDa’.

“They made a nickname for us.” Dahyun whispers into Sana’s ear, wrapping her free arm around Sana’s. 

“And here we are thinking they’ll crucify us.” Sana whispers as well, only this time she’s closer. So close that Dahyun felt Sana smile against her ear.

The simple intimacy fired up the entire place with everyone taking as much pictures and videos as they can. At this moment, Sana’s heart swelled like the birth of the galaxy, full of the same hopes as her brother’s. 

If their concept of love is the same as everyone else, how can it ever be so wrong?

\---

“Miss Minatozaki!” Jeongyeon greeted in enthusiasm, although Sana can see the sarcasm through Jeongyeon’s stupid grin. “Glad to have you back! I hope you enjoyed your well deserved vacation.” 

“Manager Yoo.” Sana laughs. “Come on. Not even gonna say you missed me?” 

Both of them shared a good long hug before breaking off. Afterall, when Sana was too busy in winning her princess, it was Jeongyeon who held the castle when the barbarians attacking the gates. Her manager quickly informs her that they’re both needed back at the agency to contain this whirlwind of a news. A brief schedule was also shared, but most of it are internal meetings and an invitation to witness Sana’s execution by guillotine. 

Meanwhile, another entourage approached to which Dahyun excitedly welcomed. 

“I guess it ended well.” Manager Chun heralded her arrival with a hug as well.

“This is just the beginning, I’m afraid.” Dahyun takes a step back. “How’s our camp?” 

“We’re to appear today in JYP this afternoon. We got a counter proposal from Exus but I told them to shove it up their asses. It will be a lot of work but Miss Lee Yo-won agreed to help out.” 

“Who’s Miss Lee?” Dahyun’s raises a brow.

“CEO of CK Entertainment. Sana’s agency.” Manager Chun chuckles when she left Dahyun with widened eyes and parted lips. “Come on. Say goodbye to your girlfriend first.” 

Dahyun’s party walked over to Sana’s group, where the two find themselves standing beside each other. Sana bows to greet Manager Chun politely, and so did Jeongyeon. 

“Sorry Miss Minatozaki, but I’ll have to borrow Miss Kim for a while. Don’t worry, though.” Manager Chun glances at her client. “We’ll be seeing each other really, really soon.” 

“In my defense, Miss Chun.” Sana wraps an arm around Dahyun’s shoulder and pulls her closer against her side. “It’s my first time in the principal’s office. Your client here, though. Good thing she has experience in getting into trouble. Ow!”

Sana jerked to the side when she felt a sharp nudge against her rib. Dahyun glared at her playfully before she sets off to her entourage. Sana hops in to her car as well, with Jeongyeon assuming her usual position in front of her. As they drove off to their respective meetings, Sana’s heart unclenched and release d the pent up tensity that she was holding. 

They made through it in one piece. The phase of sad eating pizzas is finally over. 

**[Kim Dahyun]:**

See you soon.

I love you!

**[Minatozaki Sana]:**

Go get ‘em, tiger!

I love you too :*

_ Sana changed your name to Dububaby _

_ Dahyun changed your name to Shibebaby _

**  
  
**

“Oh, maybe I’m gonna highkey flirt with you so I’ll change our nicknames.” Jeongyeon mockingly says. Once upon a time, it was Sana telling this to her when Jeongyeon first met Mina, and so Jeongyeon will not pass on the opportunity for vindication.

“Oh, shut the fuck up Yoo Jeongyeon! At least I didn’t introduce myself with three names!” 

“Ah fuck. You are so whipped.” her manager sits back and laughs. A moment after, Sana joins in the mood. 

“Let’s eat. Anywhere you like.” Sana offers. Afterall, it was the least she could do with everything that her manager has done for her. “My treat.”

\---

**  
  
**

Pluto’s deep sound barks echoed throughout the living room, competing against Bowling For Soup’s I Melt With You that was playing loudly in the background. 

“Calm down, you beast! Jeez!” Yuri runs down the stairs in her white shirt and boxers. Weekend mornings like this shouldn’t be disturbed by Pluto’s unnecessary excitement but here she is, rushing to what caught her doofus’ attention. 

She looks at the small intercom and saw a man wearing a cap from a postal service. She tilts her head and rushes back into memories of pending deliveries. Yuri wasn’t expecting anything. Hell, she stopped expecting surprise packages ever since she started waking up alone on her side of the bed. 

The doorbell (button located far down across the yard, by the gate) chimed again, and now, Pluto is twice as excited based on the oscillation of his tail. Yuri steps into her outside slippers and runs out to her now well trimmed lawn. 

“Kwon Yuri?” 

“Yes.” she pulls her cardigan closer around her. 

“That’s one package. Please sign here.” he points at the spaces provided using his pen. “And here.” 

Yuri thanks the man and watched his truck disappear around the curve. Now, she’s left with a hefty box the size of a big microwave oven wrapped in layers of packaging tape and duct tape on the edges.

It’s not really bad to receive a piece of appliance now, but it took her by surprise if she’s going to be honest. Maybe half of her was expecting that it came from Yoona but then again, that would’ve been impossible. 

Pluto sniffs around the box excitedly, as if he knew what was inside. It only made Yuri nervous but she peels off the packaging tape anyway.

\---

“Yeah, what’s up dude?” Sooyoung presses her phone between her shoulder and ear. As she let the other person speak, she pauses midway on picking up the best oranges from the basket. “What? This morning?” 

The more the voice on the other hand murmured, the more confused Sooyoung became. Her brows furrow and her eyes narrow in a mixture of curiosity and worry. 

“From who?” her eyes widen, “Im Yoona?” 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> I hate myself for not managing my time well. It’s pretty hard dishing out this fic into whatever time was available to me but I love this fic as well and I’m not gonna leave all of us staring into the abyss. With that, I’d like to thank everyone for waiting patiently. I think I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not as easy to do an average of 10k words a chapter and update on the spot. Not like how I did with Boundless where I finished the entire thing, beta-ed the entire thing, and posted regularly. 
> 
> I do believe that the motivation to finish this came in from everyone’s support. Your kind words. Your tears (OUR TEARS). Your warm appreciation. It continues to push us do what we love to do. 
> 
> My thanks will never be enough but please do know that I am and will always be thankful to each and everyone of you. [Pulls everyone in to a mandatory group hug]
> 
> Here’s part 1 of 2 of our finale.


	8. Part 8: The Deepest Shades of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts where it ended, and ended where it began. What started out as a playful proposal ended up into being so much more than they could ever dream of. Always, in all ways.

**The Deepest Shades of Us**

**Part 8**

**Finale**

* * *

 

 

The clouds grumble and the winds made the windows shudder. The weather would prove ill but it will never compare to how Yuri felt when her eyes stayed fixated on the package that she got this morning. She hugged her knees close to her chest when she felt her heart clenching in the awfulest of ways. 

 

It’s almost late afternoon now, and yet the box remained unopened. Underneath two half peeled strips of tape is a name she never thought she’d see. 

 

Yoona has always been fond of sending Yuri random packages of varying sizes. Sometimes, it depends on the occasion, but most of the time they come in smaller packages than the one that she received this morning. The obvious difference made her nervous for some reason.

 

In between hours, she’d call Sooyoung and Nana back and forth. Maybe she was hoping that one of them convinces her about her hunches to whatever this surprise is. 

 

(“Sooyoung, I’m not gonna open that.” 

 

“Dude, what if those are corporate bonds? Titles for stock options?”

 

“I have a house on an island with a yard almost as big as a damn soccer field. What makes you think I can’t afford things?” 

 

“Okay, fine. Maybe not those.” Sooyoung paused. “But whatever is in that box must be important. Yoona won’t go the whole nine yards if it isn’t.”

 

“That’s what’s bothering me.” Yuri sighed.

 

“What is?”

 

“She went in the whole nine yards for this one.”

 

“Open it.” Sooyoung further coaxes.

 

“I.. I.. I don’t know.”)

 

There is one thing that struck Yuri when Yoona finally went. It was a normal day where they’re not obliged to talk much, or cuddle, or even surrender to the need to be close to one another. It was not because they feel less, or that Yoona was deliberately staying away. They were just busy with their own devices, so much so that when the moment finally came, it felt like unfurling her heart from the inside out. 

 

On some days like these, Yoona and Yuri would argue just because Yoona kept on playing out scenarios that depicted the inevitable. She thought this could prepare Yuri better, but Yuri would argue, “There is no getting ready for that. No matter what I do.” 

 

But Yoona would always insist because, “What if I never get to say goodbye to you?”

 

The day that Yoona died should’ve ended with that mundane argument. Or maybe it should’ve ended with dinner. Or maybe senseless talk of things to come. But it didn’t. Rather, it ended with Yoona not being able to say goodbye. And if this box contains Yoona’s last instructions, Yuri won’t oblige herself to take in that kind of pain because the fear is real. The fears that whatever is in that box might compel her to follow where her Great Love went.

 

**[Kwon Yuri]**

I can’t. I’m not going to.

 

**[Choi Sooyoung]**

Is that what she would want you to do?

  
  


The answer to that last message was easy, Yuri thinks, but she will not admit that. Not when the answer is ‘No.’

 

The cloud grumbles and the winds made the windows shudder. It was quite offensively amusing to be in this kind of weather. It was just like how they first met.

 

\---

 

The cloud grumbles in an ominous shade as it moved its dark grey bearings overhead. In the most recent scientific advancements, these would most probably mean a 90% chance of rain, and a 10% chance of a Noah’s Ark scenario. Both of which are not really good signs when you’re standing beside a roadside coffee shop on an island so far away from Seoul. 

 

But this roadside coffee shop is where Sooyoung wanted Yoona to be in this specific moment (maybe not  _ this  _ specific moment because Yoona was late for twenty minutes) and this is where Yoona will stay until help comes. And she sure damn hopes it comes before the sky turns this place into a seaside attraction.

 

“Why am I even here?” Yoona asked herself. A question that she has been asking for quite some time now if only she weren’t unemployed and single. Yoona looked up again to the sky which made the entire mood feel and look like five in the afternoon. In the midst of the growing grayness, she began to think about Sooyoung’s proposition of widening her connections. Connections meaning ‘introducing her to a particular friend of hers.’

 

It has been quite a while since Yoona got into a relationship. Her last relationship turned into an awful break up that left her exhausted and unmotivated to date around. That is, until Sooyoung encouraged her to get out again because Yoona’s beginning to be the national champion for the Couch Potato event.

 

Sooyoung wanted her to be out here. Literally and figuratively. In the middle of the now starting downpour.

 

“Miss, is there any way that I could get to North Daejang?” Yoona politely asks by the counter as tucks her hair behind her ear.

 

“Oh, no. The bus station is back downtown and in this weather, it might be a bit difficult to get there.” 

 

“I see.” Yoona rubbed the back of her neck and looked back outside the window. She can’t even see what was on the other side of the road with a downpour as crazy as what she’s having right now. 

 

“You might be here for quite a while.” the woman behind the counter says, punctuating the fact that her trip is now utterly fucked. 

 

Yoona sighs and takes a seat by the window. In the middle of an empty coffee shop (maybe not so, since there’s this girl in an all white vintage Adidas baseball cap, and a couple of older ladies) she thought that maybe her fears were right. Maybe it was a bad idea going in this island. Maybe she shouldn’t have listened to Sooyoung and her stupid ideas. Maybe she should just stay here, wait for the rain to blow over and catch the last flight out.

 

Maybe they are all valid arguments, but also, maybe there’s a chance that this trip can go better. 

 

“You’re going to North Daejang?” a friendly voice chimed in between her thoughts, so Yoona looks up and meets with the prettiest set of eyes hiding under the shade of a baseball cap. 

 

“Not in this rain, I’m not.” Yoona forced out a laugh.

 

“Well.” the girl sighed and looked out the window. “I’m driving up north so maybe I can drop you off along the way.”

 

It didn’t take long for Yoona to decide and it made her want to revisit her strategies on keeping herself alive. If this was a horror movie, she’d be dead in the first five minutes because she chose to ride with a beautiful stranger. The beautiful stranger in a baseball cap, vintage track jacket, and shorts that are a bit unfit for this kind of weather.

 

“You can plug your phone in the AUX if you want some music. My radio’s busted and my playlists are a bit.. Strange?” she chuckles. 

 

Yoona didn’t respond immediately. While she did acknowledge the offer with a subtle nod, her eyes were still fixed onto the long winding road. Seaside on the west, and fields on the east. A part of her was relieved that she took the chance because there’s no way she can traverse this alone, but a part of her is also arguing that with the unfamiliar road, she might end up as a roadside roadkill. She clutched her phone closely to her chest while refusing to sit back and enjoy the ride. In her mind, this might be her last.

 

“I’m not gonna kill you.” The stranger laughs when she noticed this, but her eyes were still attentively glued on the road. “But then again, for all I know, pretty girl like you might be just luring dumb drivers like me to anywhere then leave them for dead.” 

 

“You take me as a murderer?” Yoona loosens up a bit. 

 

“If looks could kill? Yes.” the driver answers in full confidence, without even flinching or hesitating. It disarmed Yoona, most especially when the driver glanced at her direction with her eyes forming these cute upside down crescents. If it was the rumbling thunder or her heart, Yoona can’t really say. “What brings you all the way here to Daejang?” 

 

“A friend.” Yoona snaps back to reality. “I mean, a friend asked me to come here for work.” 

 

“What’s your work besides killing people?” 

 

“I’m a writer. If that’s even a job.” Yoona shakes her head and rolls her eyes. 

 

“Novelist?” the driver glances a bit before looking back at the road. 

 

“Screenwriter.” Yoona laughs out as if it was the punchline to the joke that is her career.

 

“You should’ve sticked with killing people.” 

 

The car was filled with friendly laughters that aren’t polite or forced. It was much more comfortable, like they both understood an unspoken rules of the industry, which made Yoona a bit more curious about the person who might also know the world they’re working in.

 

“How about you?” Yoona asks. 

 

“Assistant director.” 

 

“Of a company?” 

 

“Film.” 

 

“Yikes. Murder me now and get your pay.” Yoona chuckles and continued. “My friend works for in film, too. She works for Kwon Yuri. Are you working for the same person? I think she’s like a hyped director or sorts.” 

 

“Hyped huh? How can you say?” the driver had a softer but more curious tone in her voice.

 

“Don’t you find her work pretentious and shallow?” 

 

“A bit. Maybe? I just can’t tell why. Have you ever seen her before?”

 

“No. I think she’s just using that name as a nomme de guerre or something.”

 

“How about your friend? What does she think about her?” the driver gives Yoona a quick glance, just to say that she’s still interested on what her passenger has to say. 

 

“I think she’s fine with her. They finished two movies together. Perfumed Nightmares was the last short film they created. Camera angles were a bit off, the lines were kinda weird, and the screenplay could be better. I liked the whole idea of the film, but bleh. Just don’t get why she gets whispered around so much.” 

 

To this day, Yoona will never know why she said what she said. In the years that will come, she would tell different reasons, like she knew who her driver was, or that she was just horsing around. But they were both thankful about the conversation they had, once upon a time in a stormy day over the island of Daejang.

 

It was still raining when the driver pulls up to the driveway. Yoona thought that she was in luck when she found out that she and the driver were going to the same place. People were kind of running around under the rain, the equipment were covered, and the production team were huddled under one of the buildings. Sooyoung was there, together with the other pretty girl who Sooyoung introduced as a stoned musician (Jinah or Nana, Yoona can’t remember. She’s one of Yuri’s friends so she never really cared much at this point.) 

 

Once they got off the car, the driver quickly runs over to Yoona’s side and drapes her jacket around Yoona’s shoulders.

 

“Sorry I don’t have an umbrella. This will keep you dry at least.” the driver puts on her white baseball cap on Yoona’s head. But before Yoona could even react to the heartwarming chivalry, Sooyoung was already jogging to their direction, which prompted the driver to exit the scene. 

 

“Yoona!” 

 

“Where the hell have you been?!” Yoona lashes out.

 

“Holy shit, dude! I think this is all working on your favor! How’s Kwon Yuri?” Sooyoung gave her that weird look with wiggling eyebrows as she opens an umbrella over Yoona’s head. 

 

“What do you mean?” Yoona said with a hint of worry.

 

“Yuri! The director! She drove you all the way here!” Sooyoung pointed the girl who just reached a huddle of people. She was capless. That’s one thing that Yoona noted. And jacketless. Then her jaw drops at the sight when the staff bowed one after the other. It didn’t even take five seconds but the entire huddle tensed up and listened when she started asking questions.

 

“She’s who?!” Yoona watched the entire scene unfold before her. 

 

“Yuri! Kwon Yuri!” 

 

“Choi Sooyoung!” Yoona stabs her finger into Sooyoung’s chest with a force that Sooyoung thought would not be possible given Yoona’s frame. “You mean to say that the generous and charming person that drove me here is the same person that I insulted?!” 

 

“The fucking hell did you tell her?” Sooyoung’s eyes widened.

 

“I just told her that Perfumed Nightmares is crap and that she’s a pretentious snob! If you were there to fetch me, none of this would fucking happen!”

 

“Why the hell would you even say that? Are you out of your fucking mind!” Sooyoung claws her hands into her hair.

 

At that point, Yoona knew it. A charming girl giving her a ride to the same place that she going to, and through the rain, is a cliche that only existed in movies. These were all too good to be damn true, and while they will be both thankful about this serendipitous encounter in the years to come, it was a different story six years ago.

 

Because six years ago, Im Yoona, part time murderer and screenwriter wanted to jump over a cliff and let herself be swallowed by the raging sea. And maybe take Sooyoung with her as well. 

 

\---

 

_ DING _ !

 

Yuri gets off from the couch when her doorbell chimed in. If this was any other day, she would’ve clicked her tongue and would’ve very reluctantly deal with whatever was one the other side of her apartment door. But this was a different lazy day for her. 

 

She knows this because her TV is on and it was playing a specific movie that she had to dig out. And it was apparent in how a couple of her last-night shirts are still on the couch, the boxes of cold leftover take out by her feet, cans of coffee, and a script battered with newly placed sticky notes, red ink, and highlighter marks. 

 

“Package for you, Miss Kwon.” the delivery man put an interface device over the box that he’s carrying. “Please sign here.” he points the space with the stylus. “And here.” 

 

Yuri was never the kind who receives gifts, not that she wanted to. So it was strange to be opening one in the middle of a very ordinary day. But in all of its weirdness and rarity, the intention reveals itself in a form of a note. A note that was strategically posted on a freshly cleaned baseball cap, a newly laundered jacket, and a Minolta Super 8 video camera. 

 

As far as gifts could go, this is one of her biggest. Especially when she feels like Sooyoung betrayed her wish list to a certain murderer she picked up in a coffee shop.

 

_ I am so sorry! I meant everything I said about your film but I really think that you’re a great person. _

_ Here’s your cap, your jacket, a camera, and whatever’s left of my pride. _

 

_ But really, thanks for the ride. And not killing me. _

_ Im Yoona _

 

Yuri chuckles, not aware of the stupid grin that was forming on her lips. She took her phone and another piece of paper that Sooyoung left her before they parted ways post-Daejang.

 

**[Unknown Number:]**

Hi. I got your number from Sooyoung. I hope you don’t mind. 

Thanks for giving my things back. That was my favorite cap by the way.

I was watching Perfumed Nightmares and I wanted to know if I’m seeing what you’re seeing. 

Do you want to meet up and talk about how pretentious I am? I’m not gonna kill you.

 

Yoona frantically waves her hand at Sooyoung’s clay-masked face, heralding an update that’s much more interesting than binge watching FRIENDS. 

 

Back then, this was a day that one wouldn’t want to be neighbors with the both of them. And no one can blame the neighbors when high pitched screaming almost shattered the windows.

 

\---

 

Her baseball cap, her jacket, and a Minolta Super 8mm Camera. These are Yoona’s first gifts to Yuri but definitely not the last. In the span of their long and happy relationship, boxes of random shapes and sizes would come in from time to time. Yuri’s birthday would be a package free-zone because Yoona wanted to give it to her personally. But on other occasions like their anniversary, a random Friday, or when Yoona feels like giving something, Yuri would certainly be surprised. The packages range from clothes, books, shoes, self-care, more baseball caps, bags, and anything else in between all of those. But Yuri’s favorite is the first. She even digitized the footages she got and watched them from time to time. 

 

So she lays on the couch, watching how she documented a part of their wedding day using the Super 8. The images weren’t as crisp but Yoona’s smiles were still perfectly captured like she was looking at Yoona herself. White wedding dress for the both of them, the whole house strewn in white curtains and spring flowers, and their closest friends in attendance. It was a magical day for the both of them. 

 

All starting from that very awkward car ride once upon a time in a rainy day. 

 

There’s no way that Yuri could’ve pictured how they’ll end up at this point — their ballad started with her rewatching her own film, and now she’s still rewatching her own films, alone. 

 

“I love you!” Yoona says to the camera and Yuri, watching their video, looks away. 

 

“I love you, too.” she whispers as she curled into a ball of hopeless longing.

 

The computer auto plays another video. It showed Pluto. Or a close up shot of him because his nose looked bigger than usual. 

 

“Yoona! Watch this.” a voice in the video says, quickly aiming to the wife who was busy packing things up. “Play dead!” 

 

Pluto just smiled and sniffed into the camera. Huffing and puffing noises weren’t enough to drown Yuri’s complaints in the lines of “I swear he was rolling over a while ago!” 

 

Yuri laughed at how stupid they are back then. They were just a year into this house when this video was taken, and instead of fixing the pipes or packing her things, Yuri spent most of the time trying to train Pluto play fetch and play dead. And as far as endeavors go, finding the northern Arctic passage using a sailboat is much more probable than getting the big puppy in line. 

 

To rub more salt into the wound, Yoona would call Pluto’s attention, and say “Bang!” with a finger gun. Pluto just twists and lies down pretending, at last, to be dead.

 

“Are you kidding me right now?” Yuri complaints but was also distracted on how cute Yoona’s  _ bang!  _ was.

 

Yuri laughs at her own reaction while her video version self dropped her jaws in awe. As much as she wanted to deny, Yoona just single handedly established herself as the apex predator.

 

“You really did like her more than me, didn’t you?” she reached down on Pluto’s head and gave it a soft scratch. The dog just whimpered quietly and watched whatever Yuri was watching on the screen. “I miss her too, buddy.” 

 

Those days were good to them. Days where they were not aware of what Yoona had to face. Days where Yuri thought that maybe ignorance was indeed a bliss. Days of the lazy sun where Yoona would just fix their things up and keep the house in order. She watched Yoona place some stacks of paper inside a box and pushed it inside the closet. 

 

“What are those?” Yuri in the video asks in a tone that she hopes would annoy her wife. 

 

“Something I’ve been writing.” Yoona laughs and shrugs. “My dreams and aspirations. Deepest shades and unworded stories.”

 

“Why haven’t I seen it?” 

 

“You will.”

 

“You’re gonna forget about it. I know you.” Yuri accused. 

 

“No. I won’t let you forget.” Yoona assured. “Don’t worry.”

 

Yuri sits up slowly, her eyes glued to the TV screen. It has been weeks since Yoona left but it’s so difficult to move on when Yoona looks at her like she’s the most precious thing. It’s foolishness to feel this way, especially when Yoona only exist now in a fragment of memories played in the TV screen. But it still feels the same. A love that always yearns beyond distances. 

 

“I will not let you forget.” Yoona says again. 

 

Hurried footsteps echoed across the house as Yuri ran upstairs to look into the closet. The box that she received looked awfully like the one that she saw on the video. And if it did contain her dreams and aspirations, then Yuri can never let that die. 

 

The closet door swings open, revealing clothes and towels occupying the space where the box should be. If it’s not there, then it only meant one thing. She runs back down stairs, grabbing a pair of scissors along the way. 

 

The ripping sound alerted Pluto so he mounts up on the table and looks at what Yuri was looking at. Ever so gently, her finger ghosts over a paper cover. As far as packages go, Yoona hasn’t lost her touch. And as ironic as it sounds, it was a poetic end fit for a writer. What begins in a package ends in a package as well. 

 

“My love.” Yuri breathes as she opens the cover of the manuscript. “I will not let them forget.” 

 

\---

 

That night, Manager Chun was summoned to the JYP building. In the wake of Sana and Dahyun’s public confession, she felt compelled to do whatever it takes to protect both of them. It was then that she asked help from JYP, which in turn, gave it in a form of a sharp striped suit and the whole towering six feet. He enters one of the smaller cafes in the ground floor, and Woohee hated that she had to tilt her head so far back just to look at the guy.

 

“Hi, good evening. May I know where your manager is?” he unbuttons his suit and takes a seat.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I mean, you are her client right? The artist?” he clarified. Woohee narrowed her eyes and without breaking her gaze, she half turned her face away from him. 

 

“Do I look like an artist?” she asks sarcastically. 

 

“Yes?” he answers innocently. “Are you not?”

 

“Have you seen me in TV before?” 

 

“I don’t watch much. I don’t have the time to.” his answer came with embarrassed laughter. 

 

“And there goes the problem. But thank you for thinking that I look like an artist.” the manager laughs anyway as she extended her hand out. “Chun Woohee. I  _ am  _ the manager and my client is Kim Dahyun. I presume that you are the lawyer from JYP?”

 

“Please don’t tell me that you don’t get that remark too often. Park Haejin.” he takes her hand and shakes it. “So, uhh. You asked for our help about something?” 

 

Woohee nods and pushes her phone in the middle of the table. 

 

“There’s something I need to show you.” 

 

\---

 

The sun peeks from beyond the horizon and its gentle rays spill into the gap between Sana’s thick curtains. In these early hours of the morning, one would expect that the news has fizzled down, but on how their phones light up from time to time, one would say otherwise.

 

But it comes to no surprise. Afterall, this is all about the Kim Dahyun cuddling closer into the smaller spaces of the Minatozaki Sana in the first hours of sunlight. 

 

Dahyun stirs and snuggles closer into her chest, as if finding Sana in her sleep comes natural now. And it leaves Sana just a bit more breathless and just a bit more careful hoping that her own gentleness helps freeze this scene in time: Dahyun sleeping soundly in Sana’s arms just like how it has always been.

 

Half sleepy eyes turn to the bedside table where both their phones are ‘parked’, showing how some spots in this house remained conjugal. Hers and hers. The phones began lighting up again from one notification after the other. It doesn’t bother Sana one bit though, because the only thing that matters to her in this moment is wrapped with her own arms, tangled in sheets, and humming in quiet breathing. 

 

“What time is it?” Dahyun’s words come in sleepy mumbling. She takes in a lungful of air, eyes closed, then presses her forehead into Sana’s chest.

 

“Too early.” Sana whispers. “Sleep some more.” 

 

Warm palm touches on Dahyun’s cheek and Dahyun leans a bit into the touch. She smiles in the littlest way when she feels a thumb gently rubbing against her skin. Sana has always been touchy but Dahyun’s isn’t one to complain. Especially when she feels a light kiss on the crown of her head. 

 

Today is their first day back in their now-combined quantum reality. It’s not Sana’s anymore. Nor Dahyun’s. Because now, this reality has both of them written on it. What started out as Sana waking in Dahyun’s room on the first day of principal photography, starts again with her waking up beside the one that she loves. But in this reality, waking up in this room wasn’t a mistake anymore. 

 

Sana carefully reaches for her phone and finds out that Jeongyeon has been up since five in the morning. It’s not really a sign of a smooth day and Sana could only pray that things go their way. After all, they worked hard to be where they are now and if their only sin is being true to themselves, then maybe they should listen to what their hearts want. 

 

**[Mina’s Bitch:]**

Rumors. Exus will be releasing a statement against Dahyun.

They are going to siege her.

 

Sana closes the message and puts her phone away. She’d be lying if she told herself that she wasn’t expecting a storm like this, but putting themselves out there is the only thing that could save the both of them. Right now, it all boils down to their faith on each other, their managements, and their fans.

 

\---

 

“Where’d you learn this?” Yowon delicately folds her arms just below her chest, making her graceful posture a great mismatch from her stern tone. She just stood by the glass window, looking out into the city like she owned it. Watching her from the center of the room is Jeongyeon and Dahyun’s manager. 

 

“Manager Chun?” Jeongyeon points at the woman sitting across her.

 

“One of their talent managers told me.” Woohee explained. “She told me that Exus management is preparing a statement against Dahyun. To what it is, I’m not sure.”

 

“And you are sure about this how?” Yowon raises a brow and looks at Woohee through her reflection against the glass window. 

 

“Because my client pays me to do this sort of thing.” 

 

Jeongyeon looked convinced, and that’s enough for Yowon to bite the issue. There was a couple of  minutes of silence where the CEO looked out into the window. Against her reflection was a building on the other side of Gangnam. She knew this building well. After all, she was one of the people who built it, and it’s also the agency that currently handles Kim Dahyun. 

 

“I see.” Yowon takes a deep breath. “Jeongyeon, call Sana and tell her to stay put for today. We’ll sort something out this afternoon and I want her to be ready when I call for her. Understood?” 

 

“Yes, Miss Lee.” Jeongyeon bows. “And Kim Dahyun?” 

 

“I would recommend that she stays with Sana today as well. It will be easy for us to get a hold of them both when we need to.” Woohee sighs. “And since she wasn’t returning my calls last night, it only means that they’re together at this moment.” 

 

“Good.” the CEO drapes a rather expensive coat over her shoulders, letting the sleeves hang down on her sides. 

 

“Taking a walk, Miss Lee?” Jeongyeon started taking her stuff from the table. 

 

“I’m gonna pay a visit to our old friends on the other side of this neighborhood. Ride with me, Miss Chun. I’m guessing you’re going to the same place.”

 

\---

 

Sana has lost count on how many times Dahyun passed by the television in the chore of pacing back and forth across the room. She has been like this for an hour now, which makes Sana a bit crazy given that it’s just eleven in the morning. 

 

“You know that I’d still love you even if you turn out to be a North Korean spy.” Sana reached out and grabbed Dahyun by the wrist. It was enough to finally stop and have Dahyun look at her direction. “You’re not a North Korean spy are you?” Sana raised a brow. 

 

“Sana.” Dahyun frowns, telling her girlfriend that joking around this moment has its downsides, like throwing off Dahyun in her own state of meditative marching. 

 

“What?” Sana laughs and pulls Dahyun to join her on the couch. “I’m just saying, what could your agency throw against you?” 

 

“I don’t know!” Dahyun throws her hands up. “Fabricated scandal on dating? Misinterpreted paparazzi shots? Anything and everything? I — I don’t know!” 

 

“Hey.” Sana wooed her girlfriend and pulled her closer so now, Dahyun was straddling Sana on the couch. “Exactly! If they need to make something up just to get to you, then it’d be easier for us to brush them off.”

 

Dahyun felt the assurance, and while it is tempting to just forget about this and lie down beside Sana, it was just so hard to do especially when Sana looks at her like she was the most precious thing that’s worth protecting. And this is exactly why she descends into quiet panic altogether. 

 

“Don’t worry. We’ll get through this.” Sana cups Dahyun’s face with both hands as she softly knocks their foreheads together. 

 

“That’s exactly the point.” Dahyun’s voice cracks a bit as if she was subtly fighting the urge to cry. “I just don’t want to drag you into whatever mess this is. I’ve already caused you so much trouble.”

  
“Like being caught by Jeongyeon in a position where are in now?” Sana watched Dahyun pull away, but not really getting off her hips. “We promised to stay be each other’s side even if the world is unkind. To be true to each other even if the world is forcing us to be who we are not. This is the exact moments where I’d like you to know how much I love you, so don’t worry about me because I’ll be here for you whether you like it or not.”

 

The smile that came after such sweet words was more than enough to make Dahyun’s heart burst into a hundred million suns. It was already difficult for Dahyun to reason with herself back then on how she could even deserve someone as dedicated and committed as a Minatozaki Sana and she’s sure as hell that this moment wasn’t making it easier for her as well. Crying would’ve been the best response Dahyun could think of but her emotions where comically thrown off when Sana narrowed her eyes suspiciously and whispered. 

 

“But really, I have to ask and please tell me the truth. Are you a North Korean spy?” 

 

Dahyun just laughed and pressed a soft kiss on those tender lips she so desperately yearned for. They tasted like promises that everything is going to be alright. 

 

\---

 

Jeongyeon was on her way to Sana’s house when her phone buzzed beside her. She wished that it was just another notification for a schedule or a missed work (or Mina, because she misses her so much) but it was from a new site that she’s monitoring. A quick glance at the screen, then she pulled over to the side for bit to get herself ready.

 

**[Dispatch]:** Dahyun’s Relationship with Sana is Staged According to Dahyun’s Ex-Agency

 

“Okay, here we go.” Jeongyeon takes her phone and dials a number. “Miss Lee, I assume you’ve seen the news? Of course. If that’s what needs to be done.” 

 

She hangs up and dialled another set of numbers. Or maybe not, because this person has always been on speed dial.

 

“Hi, Sana. I am pleased to inform you that she is not, in any way, a military sanctioned spy. But I need you to get ready. I’ll be picking the both of you up in half an hour.”

 

Meanwhile, Dahyun’s Manager bows to Park Jinyoung as she received her new instructions. 

 

If they are to survive this, it would require everyone’s hands on deck.

 

\---

 

“If you are here to settle, then I am telling you now, we will only settle in our terms.” an Exus official greets Manager Chun and the JYP lawyer. “Let’s face it Woohee, it will be hard for Dahyun to keep up with this facade. She can’t keep pretending that she’s gay and that she’s in a relationship with Sana. Once they get bombarded by the press, CK and JYP will lose interest and leave Dahyun in their garage.” 

 

Manager Chun just stared lazily at the glass of water in front of her, quite unimpressed on how her previous employers were 

 

“It’s actually pretty wise that you’re settling as early as now.” one of them quips and it was enough to finally trigger the manager.

 

“Can we get serious now?” Manager Chun finally snaps.

 

“I’m sorry?” the officials laughed shakily, quite surprised that the manager wasn’t replying as they expected. “Where are your manners? You’re here to ask us for terms so I don’t know where you’re getting that attitude.”

 

“In two minutes, a PR staff from Exus will run into this meeting room telling you that in ten minutes, Sana and Dahyun will be doing a guerilla press conference in JYP grounds. Dahyun will tell them what really happened which puts you in a delicate position to explain. Both CEOs have pledged their support to the actresses and will stop at nothing to preserve their relationship.” Manager Chun pushes herself up and plants her hands over the table. “JYP lawyers have in their possession conversation threads on how your officials pressured me and Dahyun into making this a publicity stunt. One can only wonder how much PR control you’ll have to muster when Sana and Dahyun’s, or should I say SaiDa’s fans come for your necks. Yes, they have a unified fanbase now, and they even thought of the name. Cute, right? So, I’m asking you again —  can we get serious now?”

 

Before the officials could reply, the conference doors swung open and a PR staff barged into the room. He gave a surprised look at Dahyun’s manager as he tried to form his thoughts between panting breaths. 

 

“JYP and CK. They’re doing a surprise fanmeet. Kim Dahyun will make a statement.” 

 

“Eight minutes.” Manager Chun bows politely and turns towards the doors. But before she and the lawyer could exit, one of the higher officials called out. 

 

“Fine, Miss Chun. What are JYP’s terms?” 

 

Manager Chun just chuckled. 

 

“You know very well what JYP wants.” she turns to the crowd and bows once more before finally leaving. The officials could just sit in surprise because this is not how they saw this settlement to end. It just happened so fast, from the moment the small manager and the tall lawyer came in,  to how they ended up with nothing but possible scandal that will blow up against them.

 

\---

 

Last morning, before Dahyun was accused on being a spy, and before Woohee could even meet with the officials of Exus, CK CEO Lee Yowon mustered up enough diplomatic courage to travel across the neighborhood. It has been a long while since she’s been inside this building, but it never made a difference now that the building she once called home has undergone tons of renovations. Not really surprising for one of the biggest entertainment agencies in the country. 

 

That is, of course, before CK came into the picture. 

 

“Yowon.” The JYP CEO greeted when the CEO of CK Entertainment waltzed into the room as if she’s been there a lot of times already.

 

“Jinyoung.” she replied without looking.

 

“I’m guessing that you did not come here to say hello.” 

 

“No. Not even in your wildest dreams.”

 

“I’m glad you’re doing well.” Jinyoung says anyways.

 

“Why? Because it makes the guilt sting less?” Yowon glared at him briefly before breaking her gaze. “I’ll cut to the shit before you mistake this visit for something else. I’m not here to be nicey-nicey to you.” Yowon rolls her eyes and walks over to the window. “Our Sana is dating your Dahyun and you know how much work this entails, right?” 

 

“Of course.” Jinyoung walks over to the same window but leans on the other side. They both looked down on the city, as if they were gods looking down on their creation. A worthy comparison given that they dictate what people see on TV and what kind of fashion people would buy. But in that kind of media power, they are both aware of their mass influence and the repercussion of their actions. After all, this is the very reason why they walked separate ways — when Yowon decided to marry one of their actors and was ousted out of JYP because of it. 

 

“You’re not planning on breaking them up, are you?” he asks frankly. 

 

“Ironic, coming from you.” 

 

“Yowon.” the other CEO sighs when he failed to breakthrough. Sensing this, she raises her chin as she collected her thoughts together. While it may take time to mend their friendship, she cannot allow Sana and Dahyun to suffer the same fate as her.

 

“No.” Yowon replies scarcely but sternly.

 

“Good.” Jinyoung nods.

 

Yowon didn’t want to, but she was taken off guard by the acknowledgement that she had to look Jinyoung’s way.

 

“I was about to go to your office this morning to ask you to work with us in managing the publicity of their relationship.” He continues. “We keep away the prying eyes, and we keep away the scandals. They are both great artists and the last thing we’d want is for them to turn their backs away from the thing they love doing just because they’re bound to turn a few heads away.” 

 

“There will be uncertainty in the next few months. Both our stocks will suffer.” she lays down the reality. “But with where this world is gearing towards to, I’ll just ask you to ask your people upstairs to be more patient. If Sana and Dahyun can outlast this storm then we might actually prove that there’s something worth keeping in this damn industry.”

 

“What will you have us do?” Jinyoung tucks his hands in his pockets.

 

“Kim Dahyun is being threatened by her previous agency. They are probably be pissed off that you stole their top actress without even trying.” Yowon looks out into the window once more. “We don’t know what statement Exus Entertainment will release. But one thing we can be sure of is that Sana will jump into the line of fire for Dahyun. If that moment comes, I want you to prepare.”

 

“Done. Whatever you need.”

 

“We’ll set up a presscon here. ”

 

“Done and done.” Jinyoung assured willingly. 

 

“Good.” Yowon gave a small nod, not letting herself be too generous even in courtesies. “This is both our responsibilities now and I will not let Sana and Dahyun end up like me.” 

 

She turns her chin up and marches towards the door. Park Jinyoung wanted to defend himself against the subtle imagination but he stopped with his jaw ajar. Once upon a time, they failed to defend Lee Yowon. Once upon a time, they stood helpless when the board  ousted Yowon. No matter how much she contributed, no matter how much effort she placed, no matter how much she pleaded, she ended up losing everything just because she fell in love in the wrong place. 

 

Years have passed and Jinyoung knew that it was not his place to defend himself. He would just have to prove that he’s worthy of her diplomacy. 

 

\---

 

The entire country was abuzz and the comments section never felt so alive and so panicked at the same time. People began sharing videos and memes all around SNS sites, not to mention website who cater to the international audience. When news of the surprise ‘fanmeet’ was finally shared, masses of fans began filling up the spaces in front of the JYP building. 

 

Inside the press area, staff from media outlets and from the company were in a whirlwind of preparations and settling in. The mess was like clockwork and everyone seemed to know where to go and what to do, as if they have been in this situation a hundred times. 

 

Through all of the noise, and the cheers, and the jeers, Sana and Dahyun found solace in the dressing room. Dahyun was pushed up against the table, trapping Sana between her legs. She hung her wrists around Sana neck, content that they stole a moment like this. 

 

“You know, I’m beginning to see the upsides of our alternate careers. I teach piano, you teach Physics.” Dahyun whispers tenderly into Sana’s lips.

 

“Where will we live?” Sana asks.

 

“We can always go home to Gyeonggi-do after we sell our stuff. Or Osaka. Anywhere is good. Just as long as I’m with you, I guess?” 

 

They both giggled quietly at this, soaking in the feeling of being together by making these decisions together.

 

“I can leave Jeongyeon to Mina. Make sure she’s sheltered and fed.” Sana laughs in hushed tones. “But seriously, whatever happens today, I’ll always be here for you.” 

 

“I’m glad I practiced those lines with you.” 

 

“Not bad for your first kiss, huh?” Sana pulls Dahyun closer by the waist.

 

“Could be better, but not bad.” Dahyun denies but she kisses Sana’s lips anyway, their lips melting into the gentlest ways. With all their love that spills from their seams, they do what they do best. They do the very thing that started all of these. “Could be better.” Dahyun smiles against Sana’s mouth.

 

And maybe finally seek a fitting end for all of these.

 

“Shall we?” 

 

Dahyun takes a deep breath, then she walked out of the dressing room with her fingers locked with Sana’s. Outside, the people that they’ve worked with for the longest time stood in vigil to see them off. Dahyun’s manager (and the lawyer, who always stood behind the manager as per her instructions) gave a small bow and a bright smile. It gave Dahyun that small push of confidence to see things through. Manager Chun cups Dahyun’s cheek and rubs her thumb over her soft pale skin. 

 

“Always with you, and beside you.” Manager Chun reminds her. “Go get ‘em, eagle,” 

 

“Thank you. For everything.” Dahyun could only reply. In this short moment, she felt bad on how their relationship only progressed when things got a bit tight. Manager Chun always had good intentions and Dahyun did a lot to go against them. This time, it’s different. This time, she knows that her manager is not the enemy. This time, they will stick together ‘til the end.

 

“I’ll see you after this. Besides,” the manager turned her eyes to the taller Japanese girl behind Dahyun. “I trust that I left you in good hands.” 

 

Sana bows in acknowledgement, saying that she’ll stay true to this mission that was assigned to her. Then they walked a bit further down the hallway to where Jeongyeon was leaning. Sana’s charming manager has always been a comic relief but she could be trusted to stay when things the house is on fire, half drowning in a storm that’s most probably caused by an alien invasion. It has always been like this, and Sana is damn glad that it will most probably stay like this. 

 

The commitment is apparent in Jeongyeon’s stance. When Sana asked her back then if Jeongyeon wanted to stay for the long haul, she was also  standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall with her ankles and arms crossed.

 

“I told you.” Jeongyeon laughs. “You should not have cursed me.” 

 

Sana laughs with her to hide the regret. Sana has always been logical but maybe, in the slightest sense, this might be the curse’s fault. “What would Manager Jeongyeon say?” Sana asks.

 

“Run away from all of this.” Jeongyeon says without flinching. 

 

“What would Friend Jeongyeon say?” 

 

“That I would never have forgiven you if you never fought this fight. Defend Dahyun’s honor as I have defended Mina’s.”

 

“When was that exactly?” 

 

“I don’t know why I said that but it sounded cool. Now, go get out there and give them a damn star.” Jeongyeon grabs Sana by the shoulder and pushed her on to walk out the door with Dahyun. 

 

“Hey, Sana.” Jeongyeon calls out one last time. “I’ll always be Friend Jeongyeon.”

 

“I know.” Sana smiles as she opens the door for Dahyun.

 

It was a full sensory overload with the flashing camera lights and the screams from the fans. They entered the press room together, with their hands locked tight in each other. The crowd cheered and waved whatever a fan could wave — posters, banners, pictures, or anything that could show how much they support the actresses. 

 

Dahyun and Sana sit together, right in front of the whirlwind that was thrown in their way. The producer nods, cuing Dahyun to begin. Reporters leaned in to extend their recorders across the established line. Pens were poised over notes, and phone cameras were aimed at them both with their owners hoping to catch the more substantial information.

 

Dahyun clears her throat and takes a deep breath. 

 

"I am speaking to you today to address two very specific questions, raised by people who ." Dahyun speaks sternly. "The first question is easy to answer, quite honestly. It is true that Sana and I are together. And it is not true that we’re doing this for show. Minatozaki Sana is without a doubt the second best thing that happened to me. First, of course, is me being born but you all get the point." 

 

The audience gets a good laugh, and it was so much more rewarding when Sana smiled at her  _ that  _ way, When the emotions subsided Dahyun continues. 

 

"This is as real as real could get, and my promise to Sana’s fans is that I will always make sure that she feels loved. Always, in all ways.”

 

Dahyun breaths sharply, not because of the eyes that were looking at her from all directions, but because she felt Sana hand look for hers. They locked their fingers together just like in Daejang-do, and just like what Sana always does whenever she wants Dahyun to feel secure. 

 

"And so, this begs the second question — Do we even deserve to have this kind of love? Sana and I sure hope so.” Dahyun chuckles when she answered her own question. “But then again, this is a question that you need to answer as well. But as you do, we will shift our attention the people who will never have the opportunity that we had. Those who love in secret names in fears of being casted out. Those who were pushed in the darkest corners because they were told how to act, how to dress, and who to love. Those who think of the most tragic way to set themselves free. And those who loved just the same. With everything that they have, for it will be the only chance they’ll ever get. 

 

We, from time to time, are reminded by our misgivings as a society. But it shouldn't always be that way. It starts with us and our innate capacity for human kindness and mutual respect. That, at the end of the day, we will all realize that our love is not so different from everyone’s idea of love. 

 

This is us. This is our deeper shades, and our only wish is for you to love us as we loved all of you through the span of our careers. And if that proves to be a cost too high, then we can all go home and go back to our private lives. But if you believe in what we believe, take this chance to speak out. " 

 

The press conference continues and Dahyun tells everything. On how they first met in the set, and how weird their first night went. She told them about their first kiss and how they continued seeing each other, and talking to each other, and thinking of each other even after they came back. She told the story of how they loved under the covers and real reasons why they had to hide.

 

She told them the story of how the broke apart, and how it broke them both in the most painful of ways. She told them about how she caught the last plane out of Seoul and how she ended up in Osaka after she didn’t renew her contract. About how she told Sana everything, and how they decided to find their way back into each other.

 

From under the table, Sana squeezes Dahyun’s hand gently, just like how it was and how it should be for the past months and maybe for the remainder of their lives. Because now, this isn’t just Dahyun or just Sana anymore. In their deeper shades and even deeper love, they found a way to stand up against the norms and stay true to themselves and their love for each other. 

 

Lee Yowon and Park Jinyoung watched the event unfold from one of the upper rooms where they could see the whole press conference. Yowon smirked a bit in satisfaction (a thing that she rarely does) when she saw how the fans lined up and gave their gifts to their favorite stars. 

 

Dahyun and Sana were generous to their supportive fans. Autograph after autograph (almost all of them getting both their signatures) and posing on one picture after the other (all of them wanting the both of them in one picture). It didn’t take long before their long table was filled with stacks of gifts and messages of appreciation. At some point, when they couldn’t take it anymore, Sana would reach out to the girl beside her and pinch her cheeks a bit. Dahyun would just laugh at this, look at Sana funny before trying to chase Sana’s hand away with large chomps that would almost always miss their target (aka Sana’s hand). There would be times where Dahyun would just lay her hand over Sana’s lap and rest her chin on the other girl’s shoulder. Dahyun would just watch Sana interact with a fan until she’ll be asked to join the conversation. As if it was normal. As if it was accepted.

 

In the parallels and alternate universes that Isaac Newton PRS posited, maybe this is the one where they could be together for a long time. And in the grand theories of Einstein’s relativity, a long time of happiness would feel just like a quick fleeting moment. 

 

Sana and Dahyun would take that any day.

 

\---

 

“You did well.” Mina speaks in her usual softness, its warmness expanding in the small space inside Jeongyeon’s heart. 

 

Jeongyeon will never find out on how Mina’s simple words can ease off the burden on her shoulders. The arms around her neck felt like home and so she allows herself to be pulled closer into Myoui Mina. 

 

“We did, right?” Jeongyeon pulls her head back to stare into her girlfriend’s eyes, drowning herself into those love-glazed orbs that she never knew she’d get. “It’s the right thing.”

 

“It is and I’m proud.” Mina nods and ruffles her girlfriend’s hair a bit. It’s longer now compared to the day they first met. It was a quiet reminder on how things have changed since then and how it continues to change for the better. For one, Jeongyeon isn’t as stressed out as the past few months and Mina would very much like to take advantage of this.

 

“I love you, Mina.” Jeongyeon whispers.

 

“I love you, too.” Mina says louder this time, in perfect semantics and proud conviction. 

 

Their night fades into a cozy evening on the sofa, with them talking about what will happen next and arguing to whether or not Jeongyeon should let her hair grow this time. For the first time in months, Jeongyeon’s laptop was nowhere near her and the only thing she keeps close is Mina curled up against her side, talking about what normal couples do with the TV humming in such noise that they don’t care about.

 

Meanwhile, back in Daejang, Yuri and Yoona’s living room floor is a mess. If Yoona were alive, Yuri would definitely sleep on the couch tonight. Which she probably did if one would base their hypothesis entirely on Yuri’s appearance. She looked like an altar. A reclining Buddha with manuscripts on one hand and a pen on another. Her altar is adorned a bowl of half eaten jjajjangmyun (most probably from lunch time), cans of coffee (most probably from breakfast AND lunch), a small plate of pickled daikon with a container that she never bothered to return to the fridge, and a pitcher of water (the absence of a glass is a reminder that she drank straight from the pitcher).

 

“Dude.” Sooyoung and Nana’s jaw hangs down at the sight when they entered the residence. 

 

Yuri just pointed towards the dining room with her pen, not even sparing her friends a glance when they came in. The two of them walked slowly with their eyes wandering on the spot beside Yuri. There are three sets of what seemed to look like manuscripts of a movie that Sooyoung never knew about besides the mixture of trash and food strewn down on the floor. But somehow, it’s a good sign that something is keeping Yuri busy.

 

“Yuri, Yoona will hate you for this mess.” Sooyoung warned.

 

Yuri didn’t even look up to answer. Instead she just sternly pointed to the dining area once more. 

 

“Eat up then we’ll discuss.”

 

Sooyoung just shrugged then she joined Nana and her small feast of glazed fried chicken, some soda, kimbap, and whatever Yuri thought of having delivered. 

 

As the two settled down to eat, Yuri highlighted another line on the script and placed in a note on how she will attack the scene. Not too overdone, and not too unnecessarily ‘artsy’ as her late wife puts it. 

 

Her mind goes back once more to the first time that Yoona came over to Yuri’s apartment. While she never slept with Yoona physically that night, the way Yoona expressed her cinematic thoughts in writing gave Yuri a glimpse of the beautiful nakedness of Yoona’s soul.

 

“Holy shit.” she said that day. Much like the same words that she uttered as she flipped through every page of the manuscript — remnants from a beautiful soul she once called her wife. A manuscript with the sequel title ‘The Deepest Shades of Us’.

 

\---

 

Just like back then, a black coaster stops in front of Sana’s house. A girl jumps out of the car and dashes into the house as if she’s been here more times than she could count. At this point, this place felt like home to Dahyun now and as frightening as it is, a certain warmness expands in her heart  when her eyes meet with Sana’s. 

 

There’s a certain sense of freedom in getting caught. More importantly, in being honest. There are no hidden kisses. No more looking over their shoulders. No more hiding from prying eyes and no more alleys to sneak in to. And while they still keep most of their relationship private, the fear of prying eyes while expressing their love loudly will never sneak up on them anymore. 

 

“Koala!” Dahyun runs to her girlfriend and jumps on her. And Sana, ever careful of Dahyun and her feelings, catches Dahyun as she clung on her like a koala to a tree. She wraps her legs around Sana’s waist, and she knocks their foreheads together gently. 

 

“I missed you.” Sana’s breath sears against Dahyun’s lips. 

 

“It’s just been a couple of hours or so.” Dahyun giggles softly.

 

“And your point is?” Sana places Dahyun on the kitchen counter and inched closer that she could already taste  Dahyun’s lips. “You are my girlfriend now. I can miss you anytime I want.”

 

“Now?” Dahyun playfully raises a brow and smirks. “I do believe that I have always been.”

 

Sana never says another word no word in any language she knows can ever truly give justice on how relieved she is that they have come to this point. Her together with Dahyun, in a probability of failure much higher than getting into a plane crash.So she leans in forward to kiss Dahyun with every breath she has left. Arms around Sana tightens in anticipation and excitement as their worries have now fizzled out behind them. 

 

Sana lets her lips melt with Dahyun’s and she never stopped until she was out of breath. They kissed like it was their first time. They kissed like they wanted it so bad. And they kissed like they are making up for the lost time. Sana knew that after this, she’ll go looking for Dahyun’s lips again, and even with the fact that yes, she’d be Dahyun’s girlfriend through and through, it will never stop her from missing her. 

 

They pull apart and heave like they sprinted for miles. The thirst wasn’t new but the elation that comes with it will never ever grow tiring. 

 

Sana loves Dahyun so much and even if they broke each other’s hearts, they still rose above their blind contempt. Time was lost, and now, Sana believes that time heals. If there’s a scientific explanation about it, she’s not out to find it out. She doesn’t care, because what’s important is they found their way back to each other. 

 

They went out that night through Dahyun’s insistence. They locked their fingers and walked around the neighborhood, not minding the groups of people who have been taking their pictures. They’d stop by a coffee shop and Dahyun would buy a piece of Danish pastry and a cup of iced Americano for Sana. In the most mundane sense of a couple, Dahyun would let Sana take a bite then wipe the crumbs off the corner of Sana lips with her thumb. All of this happening while they’re talking about what to do next weekend and how long they’ll be gone once they start doing their own projects. Or at least whatever projects they still have after their press conference. Then, as the night went on, Dahyun would hug Sana’s arm tightly as they went from one store to another. Just looking. Just talking. Just laughing. Nothing so different from what any ‘normal’ couple would do.

 

A love like this is made for movie screens, and such is poetic justice when the movie screens made their love like this. 

 

(It was also funny to note that when they went to Dahyun’s apartment, they shared the elevator once more with Irene Bae. Dahyun would’ve teased her girlfriend but solo artist Kang Seulgi was also there. She was not a neighbor which made the entire elevator ride much more suspicious.

 

Sana sneaked her fingers in between Dahyun’s and held her hand. They looked down at the floor quietly and acted like they weren’t prying. But it became harder to deny when Irene and Seulgi did the exact same thing.)

 

\---

 

In the weeks that came Dahyun and Sana faded out. Their promise of fame slowly diminished as the society that once loved them realized they weren’t ready for something like this. But it was nothing compared to the quiet lives that they decided to live. A pianist and a physics teacher.

 

“In theory, we can send a radio signal as fast as the speed of light if we can produce enough energy.” Sana says.

 

“Carefully with that note. Now, slowly.” Dahyun presses on the keys in a soft song like grace.

 

Or at least, in another world, this is how they could’ve ended but it was not in this universe. Because in this universe, Kim Dahyun and Minatozaki Sana became bigger than anyone had dreamed to be.

 

“In theory, we can send a radio signal as fast as the speed of light if we can produce enough energy.” Sana says.

 

“This ship is dead, Hisami. We’re floating in dead space.” the other actress argues, voice shaking in both frustration and fear. Sana, or Junior Engineer Hisami Ishida of the 25th EarthGov Pioneer Task Force, looked the other girl in the eye sternly, holding the smallest ounce of courage for the both of them.

 

“We have no choice.” she holds her by the shoulders. “I will head back down to the ship’s reactor and reactivate Kobayashimaru. Once the controls are back up, I want you to send this signal to all ships across the outer rim.” 

 

“No!” the younger actress cries.

 

“Ayumi, we have no choice! I promised mom to keep you safe.” Sana’s voice rises. “Take that gun and barricade yourself in. I will be back!”

 

The movie is all about a distress call coming from a seemingly abandoned ship named Kobayashimaru. Sana’s team was sent there to investigate only to find out that the crew were already either dead or missing. To whichever did it, they don’t know. They were prepared to scuttle the ship when Hisami, Sana’s character, discovered that her sister, Ayumi Ishida of the 17th EarthGov Medicorps was in the same ship — getting there an hour before her. Fighting her way through the reanimated and mangled flesh monstrosities, she rescues her sister and and realizes that there is a much sinister road ahead — how to get out of this hell.

 

Meanwhile, Dahyun is as busy. 

 

“Carefully with that note. Now, slowly.” Dahyun presses on the keys in a soft song like grace. The little girl beside her presses the keys a bit to fast. “Slowly.” she repeats herself. 

 

“How can you even know? You’re blind.” the little girl whines.

 

“But I can hear. Very very well, mind you.” Dahyun reaches out and runs her hand down on the back of her pupil’s head. “Well, it’s also almost time we finish up so why don’t you get your things and meet me back here.”

 

This is the last time Jang Seohyun will see her student. Jang Seohyun is a blind pianist that becomes entangled in a missing children’s case when her own student was kidnapped right after their class. She would have to rely on all of her other senses to piece together the clues she found until she discovers that this case is much bigger and sinister than she could imagine. 

 

Sana and Dahyun would’ve faded out. They would’ve lost overnight the careers they’ve built but maybe, in all of what happened, they changed the world that they’re living in — in the smallest of ways and the biggest of ways.

 

And so, they persist. In their love, they persisted. 

 

\---

 

“Okay, cut!” the director calls out.

 

The set disengaged and the actors went to their different corners to regroup with themselves. Dahyun joined the production and reviewed her shots on the smaller screens. The big smiles and the satisfied nods were more than enough to let Dahyun know that she did a great job, and through the ruckus that she has caused in showbiz, she proved herself to be still very worthy of everyone’s admiration.

 

“You deserve this.” Manager Chun pushed a cup of iced Americano against Dahyun’s chest.

 

“Where’d this come from?” the actress takes a sip. 

 

“Why don’t you ask your girlfriend? She sent a truck for production. You have your pictures all over it too.” her manager raises her cup to the direction of the gift. And it was true. It was a white food truck with a queue beginning to stack up. Dahyun’s jaw slowly drops at the sight of her own pictures strewn into banners with words of encouragement. 

 

When the production team turns their attention to her, they all kind of, in their own ways, bowed to thank her for the treat. Dahyun could only cover her shy laughters behind a balled fist, because as much as this is overwhelmingly embarrassing, the flip side shows how much Sana could love her  _ this  _ loudly.

 

“Should I send the crew of Dead Space a truck with your pictures on it?” Dahyun speaks through the phone. Once more, just like back then, her van becomes a place where Sana and Dahyun existed intimately. A place where their not-so-secret lives spill into the world they work in. And as their careers spill slowly into their commitment to each other, there are also these small realizations that remind them of how real this could get. 

 

“Two days is still so long. I miss you.” Dahyun mumbles through the phone. Missing Sana is still as hard, Dahyun learns. “It has been almost a month since I last saw you.”

 

“We’re just gonna finish the first half of principal photography then I’ll be on a short break.” Sana sighs because she feels what Dahyun feels and it’s just painful to be this far from her. A reality that they’ll have to endure in this new life that they chose.

 

But the dread don’t last long when painful longing is replaced by hours and hours of making love until all their pent up wanting is spent. Then it’s Dahyun’s turn to be awakened by the soft sun, in Sana’s arms, and on Sana’s bed. Ever so carefully, she would remove herself from Sana’s touch and it will not take long when she realizes that she misses it immediately. 

 

It felt strange walking around this big room. It felt strange because it was not as unfamiliar now than it was before. Maybe because her sundresses are mixed with Sana’s denim jackets are hung together as they both belong there. Or how her pairs of shoes were missing in her apartment because they are here together with Sana’s pairs. 

 

Her finger would ghost over photos after photos of them, the one they took in Osaka with Dahyun kissing Sana’s cheek, the one they took in the playground where they mended their relationship, the dinner dates they did, and a very familiar one that tugged Dahyun’s heartstrings. It was a long time ago, their first night at Whitemoon when she played piano for Sana. And just like her love for Dahyun, Sana kept it. Always. 

 

She sits down and plucks the photo off from Sana’s study. They were really happy that night, and she was thankful that they are feeling that once more, just like the warm arms that wrapped around her neck from behind. She felt a soft kiss on her crown, then it was Sana’s raven locks falling on the side of Dahun’s face. 

 

“It’s still so early.” Sana mumbled sleepily. Dahyun reaches up and hooks her hand over the back of Sana’s neck then she pulls Sana closer down against her. Dahyun’s eyes flutter shut as gentle kisses are puckering against the milky skin of her neck. 

 

“Never too early to spend every waking minute with you, my love.” Dahyun turns to Sana and presses her nose against the other girl’s cheek. With a quick kiss she takes in a lungful of Sana’s scent and said “I can never understand the good I’ve done to be on the receiving end of your great love.”

 

Sana smiles into Dahyun’s shoulder. It was funny that Dahyun said those words about her love when she can’t even tell how much Dahyun meant to her. She’s the first thought in waking, and the last one in sleeping. Sana knew what it felt to have heart taken cared of, broken apart, and mended together. Dahyun’s love felt like the sea when all Sana’s good at is drowning. And when she did, Dahyun pulled her out with a promise that she will never let her go. 

 

“You are my Great Love, Kim Dahyun.” Sana kisses Dahyun’s cheek. “Always, in all ways.” 

 

It’s hard to fight feelings if Sana says words like these, and in moments like these, Dahyun surrenders that she isn’t a fighter. So she stands up and turns, putting her arms around Sana’s neck. 

 

“Well, good morning to you, too.” She beams in the brightest smile and leans in closer. She poised for a kiss but her lips finding two of Sana’s fingers instead.

 

“Too eager.” Sana teased. “Let’s brush our teeth first, at least?” 

 

And they did, side by side, while talking about what to do that day. They didn’t get breakfast immediately because making out is much more urgent business. Dahyun pushes her girlfriend into the crazily enormous couch (Jeongyeon stil reasoned that this is a bed), and climbs above her to catch her lips. They kissed while making breakfast too, when Sana pushed Dahyun against the counter and tasted Dahyun’s lips with her own. The burnt piece of spam isn’t as much of an issue as the distance between their faces. A pace is already to far and Sana’s mood is ‘satisfied with just hugging and kissing’.

 

\---

 

The sun isn’t fully up yet in Daejang-do when the Three Musketeers saw themselves standing by the edge of a bluff. They could barely hear the sound of the howling winds through the crashing waves. Nana had her hands in her pockets. Sooyoung wrapping her arms on both her friends’ shoulders, and Yuri hugged close a gilded brass urn. 

 

Yuri never thought that she’d run out of tears to cry, but here they are, staring out to the see in solemn silence. 

 

“Good morning, my love.” Yuri greets out to the sea. “I brought our friends to help me.”

 

Sooyoung and Nana chuckled at the thought of it, because it has always been Yoona who brings them together like this. Sooyoung pulls both of the closer, protecting them from the cold. They all looked at each other then it was Yuri’s turn to talk once more.

 

“Thank you for doing this with me, guys.” Yuri opens a piece of paper and read the instructions that were included in the package.  

 

_ Throw me to the arms of the sea, so that whenever you leave our small island, I can always guide you back home to me. _

 

Yuri takes a deep breath, as if this task needed to be done perfectly. Just like how she does it in her frames, and her angles, and her lights. She takes a handful of the ashes and casts it out to the sea. The wind took it further until the cloud of dust disappeared into the sky. 

 

_ Put me under a tree. Nourish it, prune it, and when the time comes, kiss someone you love under its shades. Then, I know that you will be happy. _

 

They buried part of her ashes together with the roots of a tangerine tree. She planted it right outside the house, on a spot where she could see it every morning. Tangerines are famous in Jeju and Daejang, and she will make sure this tree grows as high and as big as it can get.

 

After washing the soil and mud under their fingers, Yuri invited the both of them into the dining table. Sooyoung and Nana got there first which gave them a chance to see what’s inside the Yoona’s package. They were just pictures of them and some pieces of apparel. One of which caught Sooyoung’s attention. 

 

“It’s been a long time since I saw Yuri wear this.” Sooyoung raises the white baseball cap to her eyes and glances over to Nana. “Remember this?” 

 

“What’s that?” Nana asks.

 

“We call this a baseball cap.” Sooyoung comments sarcastically, “You wear this to protect yourself from the sun and — “

 

“Oh, shut up!” Nana just yawned. Afterall, they woke up extremely early today.

 

“Remember when Yuri was the only one allowed to wear this on set?” Sooyoung expects the thing and tries it on. “Everyone gets a bit panicky whenever they see a white-head on set.” 

 

“The interns are super fun to watch when she starts asking questions.” Nana recalls. “They got so scared that when Yoona came in wearing her cap, they ate their kimbap rolls in one gulp like dude!” they were both laughing now. “The director was talking to us and we’re not even starting the shot!” 

 

“The other one had half a roll sticking out of his mouth and he was running towards the set! I looked like a limp dick in his mouth and I can’t even!”

 

They even laughed out loud this time, remembering the days of doing short films with Yuri in charge. It was a wild run and just like any wild run, it had to end at some point. When Yoona was diagnosed, Yuri became less involved in her craft and much more focused on taking care of her wife. Sooyoung and Nana never took it against her, but they both knew how much Yuri missed doing what she does best. 

 

“Leave the intern kid alone.” Yuri marches into the dining area, but even she was laughing at the memory. “I still don’t get why they are so panicky. I was just asking questions.” 

 

Sooyoung and Nana turns to Yuri and mimics her at the same time “May I know why that camera is there and not here?” 

 

They both had this unimpressed look on their faces, a raised brow, and a very stern tone. 

 

“I did not say it that way!” Yuri defends desperately, because of course she didn’t say that way but then again, it’s entirely different coming from everyone else’s perspective. The only thing the eases her guilt is the fact that she didn’t mean to be, well, mean. “Anyway.” 

 

She puts down two manuscripts on the table. They are much more beaten now, with pages marked with different colors of sticky tabs. Sooyoung takes one and reads the cover. 

 

“Oh my god.” she breaths.

 

“I know.” Yuri sits down and crosses one leg over the other. “We will have to make this happen. And I need you to direct this. The first one did super well and I think we can finish the entire series.” 

 

“No.” Sooyoung quickly puts down the scripts and pushes this towards Yuri. “I did The Deepest Shades of You even if Yoona explicitly told us that you’ll be the lead director. I don’t know how you convinced her back then but I’m not helping you bail out on this one.”

 

“Sooyoung! The Deepest Shades of You was perfect! Why are we ruining it with a new director?” 

 

“It should’ve been you! What the hell?” Sooyoung folds her arms and looks at Yuri straight in the eye. “Yoona wanted it to be you. Do not run away from this.” 

 

“This is Yoona’s dream.” Yuri argued. 

 

“Which is exactly why you should do this!”

 

“I can’t!” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because I’m afraid I might not give it the justice it deserves, okay!!” Yuri slams the table with the flat of her hand. Whatever nearby that could clink clinked, and whatever nearby that could rattle rattled. And it was enough to make the entire house fall silent. 

 

Yuri closes her eyes and takes a deep breath when she finally realized that she just flared up. 

 

“I can’t risk doing that to her dream.” she finally concedes.

 

“Yuri.” Sooyoung sighs. “The Deepest Shades are snippets of you and Yoona’s story. If there’s anyone in this house who can give justice to that, it’s her or you. You cannot keep on running away from this. If you want my help then I’ll give it. I’ll be your assistant director.” 

 

Yuri just shakes her head. 

 

“Yuri. I’m serious. Think about this.” 

 

“What if I mess up?” she brushes her hair back and looks out the window. Her eyes searched for nothing in particular but she cannot look at her friends straight in the eye. 

 

“What if you don’t?” Sooyoung challenges. When she did not get an answer, she continued, “Think about it. Besides, if you really don’t want the project, you shouldn’t have reviewed the manuscript and decided how it should look.”

 

Yuri just fell silent. What Sooyoung says is true. The manuscripts were checked and re-checked, casted, and framed scene by scene. All of which were done by her. 

 

That night, Yuri stayed in the dining area, staring at the manuscripts that were staring right back at her. Sooyoung and Nana had gone to sleep and even then, Sooyoung was adamant on not taking on the main directing role. 

 

It would be lying to herself is Yuri told herself that she wasn’t expecting Sooyoung’s reaction. After all, her bargain to Yoona was that she’ll personally direct the last two films just as long as Sooyoung takes the first one. 

 

It was only now when she realized that she only said those things because she thought she could do it, and now that the reckoning came, she chickened out as if Yoona didn’t matter.

 

_ And lastly, with this will are two sets of curated scripts. The only instruction is this: See the story in your eyes and feel it with your heart. Finish it all. And when you do, you will discover your first true love, and go back to her arms once more. Yuri, my love, I will never ever let you forget. With all my love, the waves and the stars. Yoona _

 

Yuri closes her eyes when she read the note once more. It will be a long night, she thought. But maybe, it’s time to finally stop running away.

 

\---

 

Jeongyeon watches the replay of Dahyun and Sana’s guesting in one of the more famous variety shows. Sana is still on break which means that she won’t be seeing her client as long as Dahyun is still alive. It’s not that she’s planning to kill Dahyun, but it’s more of the fact that it has now become the new law of the land. 

 

So she finds herself on bed, waiting for Mina to come home. 

 

“Does Sana ever feel jealous when she watches you on screen with somebody else?” IU leans across the table and asks a rather interesting question that made her co-hosts wish that they should’ve thought of that question instead. Jeongyeon pats down on her face mask while watching the show.

 

“Well.” Sana answers before Dahyun could even speak. In a short moment, they looked at each other and even if they didn’t say anything, the look on Dahyun’s face was screaming that she had this kind of conversation with Sana before. “I sometimes do feel jealous? Maybe like a teeny tiny bit?” she hesitated, as if her feelings are not really valid in this nature of work. 

 

“But she’s not the obnoxious kind of jealous.” Dahyun defends and everyone bursts into laughter on Dahyun’s choice of words.. “It’s actually pretty cute. She’s only like that when we haven’t seen each other for more than a week or so and it gives away how much she misses me, I think.” then she feels Sana’s warm hand rest over her thigh with her thumb rubbing over the soft skin.

 

“How nice is that, though?” IU swoons. “I want someone to be jealous for me too!” 

 

“Practice lines with someone.” Dahyun laughs. “That’s what we did.” 

 

The hosts and the staff members of the show laughs at this, not quite believing that it’s actually the real reason why Sana and Dahyun became who they are now. It made Jeongyeon contented with how they handled everything. Their exposure became much more comfortable now —  accepted, and respected. They even went as far as doing rare vlive videos of them having arguments while lying belly down on Sana’s bed. There’s also a time where Sana fed Dahyun marshmallows and told the general public that the bitten morsel now sells for one million won. 

 

Sana goes: “Dahyun’s lips touched this. This is now one million won.” 

 

Dahyun goes: “So does that mean your lips are a million won as well?” 

 

Sana awkwardly looks at Dahyun in slight gay panic because shit, why would Dahyun say that? And, shit, Dahyun did just say that they’re kissing. She laughs shakily and when Dahyun caught this, she laughed out loud instead. A user just commented

 

‘I wonder what part of Sana is not priced at one million won.’ 

 

The easiest answer is none, but they’re not gonna admit that.

 

Jeongyeon also remember watching Sana’s video of bragging about Dahyun’s posters all over Gangnam. It showed Dahyun in sports bra and handwraps. It was a great deviation from her babydoll image most especially when she had this sexy smirk across her face and her arms akimbo as if challenging everyone to bring it on. Nike quickly casted Dahyun to be a brand ambassador since their campaign is all about inclusivity and equality.

 

“That’s my girlfriend. Right there.” Sana talks to the camera. “Hey! Hi! Can you take a picture of me with my girlfriend?”

 

Of course the passerby would oblige because this is the Minatozaki Sana asking for a picture while she posed at Dahyun’s poster. 

 

“Oh, you want a picture with me too? Do you want to include my girlfriend?” Sana’s selfie video was still aimed at her. “Okay! Good! Come on in!” she huddled with a couple of people and smiled as they took the picture. Dahyun was also there, alright, but in her 2D high resolution form. 

 

It gave Jeongyeon a sense of comfort knowing that Sana and Dahyun are living their lives the way they wanted it. No pressure, no judging. Just them and a whole lot of shenanigans in between. 

 

In the end, Jeongyeon is happy that Sana is happy. And she could also say the same on her account when she finally hears Mina coming into the room. 

 

“Jeongie.” Mina climbs on the bed carefully.

 

“How did the meeting go?” Jeongyeon asks, but not before giving Mina a sweet soft kiss on the lips. 

 

“Well,” Mina beams, her eyes turning into upside down crescents and Jeongyeon is so weak. “I don’t want you to be surprised but it’s about Sana and Dahyun.” 

 

“What about then?” Jeongyeon doubts.

 

“Meet up with her tomorrow. I think they received their scripts by now.” Mina tucks Jeongyeon’s stray hair behind her ear. Maybe Jeongyeon’s longer locks are starting to grow on her. 

 

“A script for what, exactly.” Jeongyeon catches Mina’s hand and kisses it. 

 

“Remember our first meeting? When you told me your name thrice in one go?”

 

“Mina can we please not?” Jeongyeon laughs at the memory. But the belated embarrassment fades quickly when Mina cups her face and smiled against her lips.

 

“The Deepest Shades of Us. We are finally pushing to do the entire trilogy.”

 

\---

 

“What are you doing here?” Sooyoung enters the living room area and finds Yuri seated by the window, looking out at the great expanse of their yard.

 

“Thinking.” 

 

“It’s twelve midnight.” Sooyoung pointed out.

 

“Sooyoung, it’s nice to know that you can read the time.” Yuri glanced at her friend and laughed.

 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Sooyoung insisted and leaned against the wall beside Yuri. “You’re deciding.” 

 

“Tch.” Yuri chuckled.

 

“You’re deciding if you’re going to take this project. If you’re going to be a director.” 

 

“Come on, Sooyoung.” 

 

“Yuri, let’s get real here. You stayed up until six in the morning when you’re trying to decide if you love Yoona. Same thing when you thought of proposing. You stayed up until seven when you thought of buying this house. Yuri, I’ve been in your life long enough to know that you don’t sleep through major decisions. You actually stay up for them. So yes, I’m gonna say whatever I want to believe because I know that you are deciding.” 

 

Yuri just shakes her head. “I’ll see you there in the morning.” 

 

\---

 

"Sun's almost up." 

 

"I know." 

 

"You're still here." 

 

"I know." Yuri answers in a sing song voice. 

 

"It will be long and arduous." 

 

"I know." and then in a whiny voice.

 

"But I will not let you forget." Yoona hugs Yuri from behind and nuzzles against the back of Yuri’s shoulder. 

 

"I know." 

 

"I love you."

 

Yuri stood there quietly for a short while, but it did not take long for her lips to curl up into a small smile. Yoona has loved her in ways that she cannot even imagine, and she knows that in her passing, this is the only thing that Yoona wants her to remember. 

 

Her love.

 

"I know, and I love you so much too." Yuri breathes. 

 

"You're up early." Sooyoung steps into the dining area where she spots Yuri standing alone by the big sliding door. Her eyes were cast out into their yard, watching how the soft sunlight touches the grass, the leaves, the stones, and the equipment. Sooyoung noticed that her friend have not changed clothes since yesterday and with the empty instant ramen cups on the table, Sooyoung just knew that Yuri spent the night here. 

 

But there is also one thing that she noticed. Yuri was smiling. It was soft and small, but it was a smile nonetheless.

 

She knew that Yuri thought about it. 

 

She knew, somehow, that Yuri is going to take it. 

 

"I’m gonna go for a walk. Make the necessary preparations. We’ll begin principal photography next week.”

 

\---

 

It was quite strange looking up at a very familiar ceiling as if this was an oddloop of what has beens. The only difference is that Dahyun is comfortably nestled on Sana’s chest in silence. It was the nice kind of silence, of course, because for Sana everything is the nice kind especially when it comes to Dahyun. 

 

Sana remembers seeing this sight the moment she woke up on her first night in Daejang. It was funny because she spend her first not in another person’s room and now, she wakes up in her room together with that specific person. Her favorite person to be exact, and  _ their _ room to be more exact. 

 

Dahyun kind of just played with Sana’s fingers, while Sana lightly scratches the crown of Dahyun’s head. 

 

“It’s weird being back here.” Dahyun finally speaks. 

 

“I know.” Sana chuckles softly at the thought of being here. It felt like things changed and never changed at the same time and it’s quite comforting to know that somehow, they finished the full circle. “Except now we only got one room.” 

 

“You don’t have to sneak and our managers need not worry.” Dahyun turns a bit and kisses the skin just below Sana’s neck. 

 

“Jeongyeon caught me that morning, you know?” Sana’s eyes flutter close when she felt Dahyun’s lips pucker against her soft skin. “I wonder if they really did get it on that night.” 

 

“I wouldn’t really peg Mina as the impulsive kind. That’s you and me. That’s our story.” Dahyun smiles, and Sana felt it on her chest. 

 

“Our story.” the Japanese girl let the words roll beautifully on her tongue like those words belong together — just like them. “Do you think that two people are doing the same thing that we’re doing right now?” 

 

“I hope so.” Dahyun sighs. “It’s wonderful to think that two people are feeling the same way, in this same moment.” 

 

“What are you feeling?” Sana asks. 

 

Dahyun stirs and crawls up over Sana so that her chin would fit nicely between Sana’s chest. Her beautiful locks would spill over Sana’s skin like a white canvas lined with the most sophisticated shades of Dahyun’s hair. Sana feels her heart clench in the nicest ways when her eyes meet Dahyun’s. They were deep, like hazel tinted diamonds that contain hopes and dreams, and a color full of love. 

 

Love. 

 

“I feel like a hundred million suns in a universe of you. If that makes any sense.” Dahyun hums, and of course she made sense. Because that’s the exact same thing that Sana feels right now if she could put her feelings into words. They burn infinitely in a strange place of uncertainty yet their hope remains true. 

 

Sana pulls her head up a bit and kisses the only pair of lips that she would ever want. Dahyun takes it willingly and giddily, much like a present in Christmas that she’ll never grow tired of.

 

“Someday,” Sana speaks into Dahyun’s lips. “We will have to tell our story, and I can only hope that it is as beautiful as the ones we play.” 

 

“A story with you in would always be beautiful, Sana.” 

 

“How would you know.” 

 

“Because I’m in the middle of it. And I would never want for it to end.” Dahyun speaks from the heart, and Sana tasted the words in her mouth when Dahyun leans in and pours her everything into a long hard kiss. It wasn’t rushed like they’ll be caught somehow. But it wasn’t too soft that it lacked conviction. 

 

It was true, and their lips melted together as if they’re supposed to. In this specific moment in time.

 

On their bedside where scripts that were beat up on the edges. Dog-eared and a bit loose from repetitively flipped pages. One has pages folded in half to mark off important scenes. The other had post its for reminders, and it wouldn’t really take too long to suspect that these are private practice schedules. 

 

Back at Yuri’s house, a woman sits beside a tangerine tree. She looks up to the sky with a can of beer on hand. There are questions that needed time to brew, but there are questions to you just jump into. 

 

Because it’s necessary, and because you just have no other choice but to throw in with faith.

 

_ I will not let you forget. _

 

\---

 

_ If you are reading this letter now, it means that I have passed on without returning you to the arms of what you yearned the most. We both know that I’m not your First Great love but please do know that I have never been jealous of that. My only regret is that I may not have supported you as much as I could and I could only pray that I pushed you to chase these dream. _

 

_ For the last years of my life, I would like you to know that those were my happiest. I remember us being thankful for a lot of things. But in the end, I have been contented by the simplest act of waking up next to you, as it would mean that I’ve been granted another day in my own version of paradise.  _

 

_ You were the single best thing that ever happened to me, and every good thing that followed started from there. I wanted to be selfish and pray to stay longer, but another part of me wanted to leave so that you can become who you were supposed to be. Do not be afraid, Yuri. I might not be the first thing that you see from now on, but I will make sure that you will feel my love in moments that you need it the most.  _

 

_ I love you more than I could ever say. All of you. In your brightest and deepest shades.. _

 

_ Yours forever, _

_ Yoona  _

 

Yuri folds the letter once more and keeps it inside her pocket. She could’ve ran back up and returned it to her drawer but the crowd cannot wait. Not when they have a schedule to stick to and a movie to create.

 

She dons on her white baseball cap and walks out the door to meet everyone else. and she could only wish that no one runs around the set with a limp kimbap roll sticking out from their mouth. 

 

Day 1 of principal photography starts today . A day for first loves.

 

Im Jinah ties her hair up into a bun and watched the director walk into the room. She’ll be talking to her friend soon to discuss how they’ll do the soundtrack. Right now she just wants to see how this will all pan out. Director Choi pressed her butt against the corner of the table. She had her arms folded and was only looking down. Today, she only has to listen to instructions because giving them will not be her main responsibility as an assistant. Myoui Mina opened her laptop because it’s such a Mina thing to do. This will be a long and arduous journey for her since she’ll be producing the next two movies. But it doesn’t seem to bother her, after all, Jeongyeon smiles at her from across the room to quietly assure that everything will be alright.

 

Sana and Dahyun, the nation’s favorite couple, sits together just like always. Their scripts are already lined with notes for and to each other, like practice schedules, notes from the previous movie, words of encouragement, and sweet nothings. All the while, they were looking back how this single casting event in their lives turned out to be so much more. An event that taught them that loving another starts from being true to one’s self. 

 

They hold hands and lock fingers just like always, and they stay together against all odds just like always. They hope that one day, they get to tell their own story of how their Great Love defied the Laws of Physics and changed their little world for the better.

 

“I found parts that I need to practice. I was thinking if you’re free.” Dahyun whispers and Sana smiles. Then it was the crowd’s turn to look at the director with a white cap standing at the center of the room.

 

_ For you, my love. I will not forget. _

 

“Alright.” Director Kwon finally addresses the crowd. “Let’s begin.” 

 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> And that's a wrap, ladies and gents! I find it hard to wrap my thoughts around the fact that we finished a story like this. The countless hours we spent on researching, writing, revising, rehashing, and proofreading is so worth it whenever we think about the people who were supporting us eversince we started this fic. It was funny how a blurb in twitter became an eight-part series squeezed into whatever freetime I had. Trust me when I say that I also felt bad that it took me long to update, but trust me as well when I say that I am always looking forward to everyone's reactions for every update that we put up. 
> 
> I really really hope that you liked this update and the entire story as well. We would never have made it this far without you guy. I know that I have been saing this but let me say it again: Our thanks will never be enough.
> 
> Thank you to TKYbee as well who beta-ed the shit out of this fic! I would never have finished this if not for you. Thank you to the friends I met through this fic as well, I never thought that writing would be this fun. 
> 
> I guess I'll see you guys in the stories that you'll write!
> 
>  
> 
> Cheer-yo beerio! 
> 
> csj


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